4 - Tuesday, A pril 9, 2013
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
4 - Tuesday, April 9, 2013 The Michigan Daily - nichigandailycom
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To the parade that never came
Edited and managed by students at
the University of Michigan since 1890.
420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
tothedaily@michigandaily.com
MELANIE KRUVELIS
and ADRIENNE ROBERTS MATT SLOVIN
EDITORIAL PAGE EDITORS MANAGING EDITOR
ANDREW WEINER
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board.
All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the views of their authors.
[)OM TH DAI)Y
Covert (in)action
Transparency should guide administrative decisions, not cover-ups
ver the last few years, there seems to be a frightening trend with
university scandals: Keep it under the rug until the issue gains
attention. Last week, Rutgers University joined a growing list of
colleges met with dishonest athletics personnel when men's basketball
coach Mike Rice was fired after videos of his perverse coaching style were
leaked. Rice's abusive behavior included throwing basketballs at players'
heads, grabbing and shoving athletes in practice and screaming homo-
phobic slurs and obscenities at every turn. "You're a fucking fairy," he told
players repeatedly. "You're a fucking faggot." While the school eventually
fired Rice after national outrage on April 2, Rice's abuses were initially
concealed, with Rutgers Athletic Director issuing Rice a suspension and
fine in November without detailing the reasons why. College administra-
tors must stop waiting for public outrage to react to corrupt behavior.
Y ou know, I'll be honest: I've
never really cared much
about sports here (Editors
note: Melanie's
in the Residential
College). But as
I sat on the steps
of 420 Maynard
on Monday
night, just two
Hamm's deep,
I realized -M MELANIE
there's a lot that KRUVELIS
I could've gotten
from this game.
Not as a Wolver-
ine, not as the one-time owner of a
muscle tee, but as a human being. A
selfish, firework-loving sonuvabitch.
Slash human being.
There could've been a parade. A
goddamn parade. I didn't even think
of that until two minutes were left.
We were down - and no, apparently
a five-pointer couldn't save us now.
A co-worker turned to me, and with
the saddest eyes you've seen this
side ofa basset hound'said, "There
was supposed to be a parade." A
parade that Greek life would've actu-
ally stumbled to! Can you imagine?
Shotgunned Natty Lights, neon tank
tops made for each block walked -
National Champions at the intersec-
tion of State and Hill, okay, now at
State and Monroe. The entire Uni-
versity, a sea of yellow and blue and
whatever color best describes barfed-
up Burnett's Peach.
I bet local meteorologist Chuck
Gaidica would've made it too: cry-
ing, lifting up his own Burnett's in
solidarity.
Dream a little dream, Michigan.
There could've been fireworks.
Like, a lot of them. But now I stand
in front of the Michigan Union,
half-melted Frosty in hand, won-
dering if those booms are coming
from stockpiled cherry bombs or
sad AK-47s. Supporters of the Sec-
ond Amendment have feelings too,
you know.
And to think, the texts I could've
received from my mom. "WE DID
IT!!!!!" she would say. "MELANIE,
I'M SO PROUD!!!!" Five excited
Emojis would've followed - that
jubilant crying face, maybe the two
twinsdoinga sidestep. She wouldn't
have even sent me frantic texts
when I didn't immediately respond
because she would just know: I was
tanked. And, boy, would she have
been right.
Instead? "Melanie, I have two
charges from Amazon on my debit
card for a nose ring and ukulele
strings. Don't you ever think about
anyone but yourself?"
The helicopters circling over
Ann Arbor would've sung a differ-
ent tune. The propellers would've
chopped "Let's Go Blue," the
engine would shoot out glitter and
exhaust fumes - screw the Fed-
eral Aviation Administration, we
were champions. But now I'm not
even sure if I'm walking toward
the Jimmy John's on Ann Street or
downtown Baghdad.
And the Diag. Oh, for the love of E.
Royster Harper, the Diag. Those five
gawky engineers shouldn't be stam-
mering through chants of "Fuck
Louisville!" They should be spitting
fight songs! Or, at the very least, just
spitting. But the final buzzer rang,
Trey Burke was yanked from the
Player of the Year trophy, and the
only thing the 62 people watching
The Michigan Daily's livestream
of the Diag saw was 20 dudes from
Shady Phi pounding each other in
the chest (Editors note: Don't forget
cryingbetween ass slaps). Off in dis-
tance, the familiar sound of no one
gettinglaid.
The whole thing's a hard shot
to swallow. After all, it has been
nearly two decades since we could
get Football-Saturday drunk on the
Monday before finals. It wasn't just
our pride on the line comrades, but
an opportunity to bring together
our current students, our loyal
alumni base, our diehard, non-affil-
iated Wolverine fans who've never
even stepped foot in the UGLi, but
always smell like stale beer and
corn nuts.
What could've been.
But here we stand - or if you're
outside Scorekeepers, wobble - wal-
lowing in what we bacne-ridden
Wolverines like to call "reality." No
more Get Out of Jail Free cards, folks:
Today marks the end of classes gen-
erously canceled by proud professors
who just wanted one last keg stand.
We may never know how it feels
when a graduate student instructor
cuts discussion short because they
know we've all had a "rough night"
rooting for the team at Rick's Ameri-
can Cafe - well, unless we transfer to
Michigan State.
II
Anyone got a trash
can I can knock
over?
When videos from the team's practices were
released in November, it became clear that
Rice's coaching style was offensive, harmful
and represented Rutgers University and the
athletic department in the worst way possible.
Rice's choice of coaching language is unaccept-
able and is physically and emotionally abusive.
From calling his players "motherfuckers" and
"sissy bitches" to calling out a player from
Lithuania the "Lithuanian faggot," Rice turned
everyday practices into a degrading environ-
ment. This behavior is far from acceptable, and
in no way resembles the mutual respect that
should define a coach-player relationship. The
fact that Rutgers athletic department allowed
such behavior to continue in the first place isan
embarrassment, and the lack of disclosure sur-
rounding Rice's initial penalties mirrors other
scandals that recently have damaged other
athletic programs.
However, the players on Rutgers Univer-
sity basketball team came to the aid of Rice.
"He did a lot for us off the court," argued
AustinJohnson, a sophomore forward. While
the opportunity to play for Rutgers may
have increased opportunities for the play-
ers, Rice's coaching style certainly did not.
Instead of teaching players that this behavior
is acceptable, universities need to take a more
proactive role in ensuring the fair treatment
of players. An often repeated, yet underval-
ued aspect of college athletics is that these
athletes are indeed students first, and should
be protected as such. Ignoring such abuses
doesn't guarantee championships; it only
proves that universities aren't acting in the
best interest of their students.
Cover-ups and pacified abuses shouldn't
be synonymous with college administra-
tion decisions. From the Pennsylvania State
University scandal to underreporting sexual
assault at our own University, colleges across
the country seem to be sticking to a pattern
of waiting to defend their actions until the
actions become public. These institutions
that praise transparency in practice need to
start acting with their values in mind. Wait-
ing until a news report surfaces only serves
to damage these schools, and by extension,
their students.
Times are tough, I know. But
when push comes to shove, we've
got to remember what we still have.
Like white dudes lighting couches
on fire. Moms wondering what hap-
pened to their Pottery Barn sofas.
An entire campus, drowning in
faded maize and blue melancholy,
wondering if the five hours spent
waiting for a table at Blue Lepre-
chaun was worth bombing another
Economics final. But if there's any-
thing we've learned since the Fab
Five era, it's that together we stand
strong. Like the brightest constella-
tion in the sky or the clouds parting
to reveal a magnificent, Wolverine
sun, we must remember -
Wait,AthleticDirectorDaveBran-
don used to own Domino's Pizza,
right? Does that mean we missed out
on free Parmesan Bread Bites?
Goddammit. Anyone got a trash
can I can knock over?
- Melanie Kruvelis can be
reached at melkruv@umich.edu.
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
Kaan Avdan, Sharik Bashir, Barry Belmont, Eli Cahan, Eric Ferguson, Jesse Klein,
Melanie Kruvelis, Maura Levine, Patrick Maillet, Aarica Marsh, Megan McDonald,
Jasmine McNenny, Harsha Nahata, Adrienne Roberts, Paul Sherman,Sarah Skaluba,
Michael Spaeth, Daniel Wang, Luchen Wang, Derek Wolfe
Kafka, take the wheel
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Our place at TEDxUofM
4
Last Friday, the Power Center was ablaze
with the untapped potential of TEDxUofM.
Above the energy of more than 300 attendees,
20 inspiring talks and a delicious lunch, one
theme stood out to us: social justice.
Some ofus have been to TEDxUofM before,
but never have we seen so many different
advocates for equality on stage in front of us.
TED stands for Technology, Entertainment
and Design - seemingly not leaving much
room for people like us. We spend our time on
campus encouraging dialogue across identi-
ties and advocating for environmental justice,
immigrant rights and educational equality.
But on Friday, we happily found nine
inspiring speakers who had social justice as a
central theme throughout their talks.
Michael Williams, a Detroit native and
current Semester in Detroit student, asks
us to see beyond the dominant narrative of
Detroit as a broken city. Instead, he encourag-
es us to honor the complexities of a city where
concentrated poverty, hipsters, vacancy and
gentrification all exist in one vibrant place.
Williams provokes us to see the immense
value of Detroit and its strongest asset: the
people. They, more than any new startup or
outsider reinvestment campaigns, are going
to lead Detroit's rebirth.
Then we have Julie Steiner, graduate of the
School of Natural Resources and Environment.
She has devoted countless hours to ending
poverty in Arizona, fighting for civil liberty in
Tennessee and lobbying for women's rights in
Washington before returning to Ann Arbor to
serve as the inaugural director of the Univer-
sity's Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness
Center. Now, Julie's mission is to end homeless-
ness in Washtenaw County. Her diverse work
experiences are tied together by a common
thread: a passion for social justice.
Evelyn Alsultany spoke to the negative
media portrayal of Muslims and Islam and its
impact on American society. She discussed a
study of 900 films, where only 12 had posi-
tive portrayals of the Muslim community. In
all other films, Muslims were portrayed as
harem women, oil tycoons or terrorists. She
invited us to wrestle with the idea that these
stereotypes aren't entirely false, but rather
that those stories are incomplete.
Recently released after serving 26 years
in prison, Mary Heinen courageously called
attention to America's system of mass incar-
ceration. Focusing primarily on the struggles
of re-entry, Heinen explored the stigmatiza-
tion that ex-prisoners must face when they
leave the confines of the prison walls. Mary
also stressed the importance ofstrong support
networks, continued education and personal
expression in helping to interrupt the school-
to-prison pipeline. She currently works with
the University's Prison Creative Arts Project
to give voice to people like her - people strug-
gling to survive in a system with far too many
institutional barriers.
The final speaker of the day was Chris
Armstrong, recent alum of the University
and the University's first openly gay student
body president. Chris brought to light the
ugly truths of bullying, as he shared stories of
those who've taken their own lives as a result.
He spoke to the daily acts of hate and torment
that many children and adults are subjected
to - something Chris himself experienced
during his public battle with a former Michi-
gan assistant attorney general.
Chris concluded by reminding the audience
of their inherent privilege as students at the
University: our ability to attend TEDxUofM, to
hear these stories and to gain this knowledge.
He exposed us to our responsibility to continue
the conversations that started at TEDx and to
take action on what we have learned.
We wanted to collectivelythank the TEDx-
UofM organizers for including these stories
and messages in the program this year. It
truly was a bold step. You should feel proud
of the social progress you helped bring about.
Now we turn to you, TEDxUofM attendees
- those who watched live and those who will
watch the videos later - to turn your inspira-
tion into action.
As TEDxUofM showed us this year, social
justice isn't an isolated theme pertaining to a
few issues. Rather, it's a core value we all must
live by; the pursuit of equality is relevant and
integral across all paths.
Take a trip down I-94 and work with native
Detroiters. Take action to end homelessness.
Stand up to our biased media portrayals. Edu-
cate others on the institutional barriers to
post-prison re-integration. Be proactive to
end bullying.
We have untapped opportunities on this
campus. Let's use our privilege as University
students productively.
Yonah Lieberman, Abby Krumbein and
Emma Rosen are LSA seniors. Maris Harmon,
Ariel Kaplowitz, Nina Pressman and Marissa
Soloman are LSA sophomores. Chirapon
Wangwongwiroj is an Engineering senior.
Dustyn Wright is a Kinesiology senior.
don't think Franz Kafka
ever drank sweet tea or wore
a seersucker suit, but his
spirit haunts the
American South.
Maybe not the
entire thing,
but at least the
tiny swath of
land between
the McDonald's,
Wendy's and ANDREW
the Gas'n'Go
in Podunk- ECKHOUS
nowheretown,
Georgia. The late
author's twisted world of senseless
decisions and illogical consequenc-
es is alive and well in Dixie.
Thirteen hours into the long trek
south to the National Champion-
ship in Atlanta, and hunger had set
in. It was late, we'd already suffered
a three-hour detour and two near-
death experiences, and all we want-
ed was cheap food. Every moment
of temporary salvation turned into
disappointment, however, as each
24-hour "restaurant" had locked
its doors and thrown away the key.
Cashiers stood behind registers, but
wouldn't respond to our desperate
taps on the windows. Nothing made
sense. Somewhere, Kafka smiled.
Welcome to the road trip
from hell.
Let me rephrase that, actually.
Welcome to the second half of the
road trip. A harrowing seven-ish
hours where everything came
crashing down around us. To put it
in March Madness terms: Good had
been upset by evil, and evil's fans
had stormed the court. Good put
up respectable first-half numbers,
but was just outworked by a more
motivated team.
Road trips have changed now
that everyone and their dog has
an iPhone. Our parents, clad in
bell bottoms and covered in weird
facial hair, read maps and never
had to worry about them running
out of battery. Today, if you handed
an actual road map to the aver-
age college kid, they'd probably ask
you if it came in touch-screen. Our
Kafka-esque McDonalds catastro-
phe wouldn't have occurred just a
decade ago, since only .5 percent
of them operated 24 hours a day in
2002 nationally. That number now
stands at about 40 percent.
Is the "new" road trip more valu-
able than the "old," though? I'm not
really sure. I asked the people in my
car, but they were too busy on Face-
book to answer me, so I guess I'll
think for myself.
I don't think the essence of a road
trip has changed substantially, and
I doubt it ever will. Some of the
tools may have changed such as sat-
ellite radio and GPS, but many have
not - the car, the highway and the
realization that Ohio actually sucks
as much as they say. Road trips
don't exude glitz and glamour, but
rather a romanticism for the open
road and the freedom that comes
with it.
Finishing a road trip is a victory.
The vanquished foe can be some-
thing powerful, like the elements
or something a little less legendary,
like a wrongturn, but reaching your
destination carries with it a unique
sensation. It's a mixture of satisfac-
tion and relief and though it may
sound kitschy, it can be a bonding
experience.
My road trip from hell contained
aspects from both the good and the
bad, but more than anything else,
it was an adventure. A semi-truck
nearly demolished us, but after
the initial scare, we laughed since
we were still breathing. We took
a three-hour detour through the
Bible-Belt version of Las Vegas -
Dolly Parton has a theme park there
- and drove for 30 minutes through
an unlit, backcountry neighbor-
hood in the Smoky Mountains. We
even ran into a 50-strong biker gang
in Kentucky that wasn't particular-
ly keen on sharing the road.
From Ann Arbor to
ATL: Welcome to the
road trip from hell.
For seven hours straight, it was
blunder after blunder, but when we
arrived in Atlanta, I think I under-
stood, on a much smaller scale,
what Odysseus felt. While we'd
only been blown off course for a
few hours, and not a few decades,
seeing Atlanta's skyline reminded
me of a homecoming of sorts. Even
though I had hopped in the car with
no tickets, no place to stay and no
idea who two of the people in the
car were, everything ended up
working out. Within five minutes
of entering Atlanta, my tickets and
my lodging were confirmed, and I
found 10 of my friends.
Kafka-esque usually carries a
negative context about a world
where nothing makes sense. For a
few hours, I agreed. I was having
a miserable time, and I just wanted
to get out of the damn car. In ret-
rospect though, everything that
happened was just part of the expe-
rience. While I absolutely would
prefer not to lose three hours of my
day again, I don't think I'd trade
the experience - unless you've got
floor seats for the game.
- Andrew Eckhous can be
reached at aeckhous@umich.edu.
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