6 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

Friday, February 1, 2013 - 7

I The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Friday, February 1, 2013 - 7

UNIVERSAL MOTOWN
The only dilemma here is whether he looks cool or really cool.
Offensive 'Porsche'

CAPITOL
"It was me! I killed Tupac."
Enemies Of pop music

Rapper's latest absurd back

jam is not for your
mother
By RAY MALO
Daily Arts Writer
I was certain that Flo Rida's
"Whistle" had reached the pin-
nacle of shameless double enten-
dre pop rap. Whenever I hear the
song, I cringe, thinking of soccer
moms in minivans, mindlessly
whistling along with their pre-
teens. Ugh. It's not about a whis-
tle, moms. Wake up, America!
Well, here comes our old
friend Nelly to ensure that the
wordplay bar stays embarrass-
ingly low. Released with little
fanfare - undoubtedly because
Nelly is so ashamed it has come
to this point - "Hey Porsche"
does what countless songs writ-
ten by morons have done in the
past: It compares a sexy car to a
sexy woman.
Sample lyric: "Come on let me
slide under / so I can work on /
work on you." Cornell "Nelly"
Haynes, Jr., vagina mechanic, at
your service.
But here's a quick list of the
pros and cons of what's sure to
be the song of early Febtober, or
whatever
it is that First seen on
we decide -the filter
to call this

flicting weath
Nelly migh
cist, but slape
on a track, a
rible singer (a
improved sin
at R&B, "Ove
McGraw").F
world with*-a
mash-ups inf
able than hi
ears turn to y
Nelly has a;
for sports car
to correctly
(Por-sha). It(
such moving
Porsche / I w
ing rhymes wi
The rappe
tened to the S
In Reverie, ju
tar riff. Hey, I
Good job,P
pretend-likea
song.
The song's
ous on its su
center of ma
as one can g,
preted as a pr
Nelly song w
ly in terms

-and-forth of con- strengths. (just rapping, sir), this
her systems. is worse than "Whistle." Porsche
owners may get this song stuck
Pros in their heads every time they
"push start to ignition" and begin
t be a horrible lyri- to hate their own cars.
enough vocal effects About that line: "I don't need
nd he's not a hor- nobody's permission (yeah) / no
at the very least, he's keys / push start to ignition."
ice his first attempt So. If we are to commit to the
r and Over feat. Tim lyrical concept of this song, that
He's provided the the "car" is actually a woman,
a beat destined for does Nelly not need your per-
finitely more enjoy- mission to do the sexual equiva-
s original song. My lent, whatever it is, of"push start
ou, Gregg Gillis. to ignition"? Mull that one over,
sincere enough love Porsche owners and date rapists.
sthathe knowshow Holy shit! The bridge is just
pronounce Porsche the worst. Nelly actually sings,
enables him to pen "as I'm cruising control," instead
couplets as "Hey lil of "losing control," because, hey,
anna try ya." Noth- this song is still sort of about
ith porsh. cars, right?
r has obviously lis- I get it, I'm angry with this
aves the Day record song mostly because Nelly was
.dging from the gui- done, and that was the natural
I love In Reverie, too. order of things. Dude's been kind
Nelly. Four things I of a joke for a long time. But this
about your shit new song is happening. It's catchy.
It's danceable. It has memorable.
lyrics. It's going to be the stupid
Cons frat jam of Febtober. And we all
have to deal with that.
conpletely innocu- Carpooling moms, you've
rface, as close to the been warned. IT'S NOT ABOUT
instream dance pop A CAR.
tet. Could be inter- - The original version of this
ro, but still, uh, it's a article was published online on
ith no rapping. Sole- The Filter, the Daily Arts blog, on
of recognizing your Jan. 30.

By GREGORY HICKS
Daily Arts Writer
It's a genre that inspires musical
creativity and innovation decade
after decade, but pop is a moth to
aflame forsellouts - lestweforget
pop is an abbreviation for popular.
Let's take a look at three artists
who have recently contributed
most to slandering the name of pop
music by transforming it into an
uninvolved, oversimplified genre.
Taylor Swift
It seemed as though Tay-
lor Swift was set to be the next
Michelle Branch - a 16-year-old
songwriting prodigy who would
crank out three quality albums,
filled to the brim with hits, then
settle in for an early retirement. If
only.
Swift's sincerity, intricacy and
success of Speak Now left fans
more than content as they watched
their girl Taylor grow up. But with
the release of her follow-up album,
Red, fans instead got The Curious
Case of Taylor Swift - the story of
a girl whose music and maturity
ages backwards.
After the release of "We Are
Never Ever (Going to Grow Up)"
and "I Knew You Were (Going to
Sellout)," Taylor Synth had been
lost to the dark side. Electronic
production might be new for you,
Taylor, but it's the same as every-
body else's hits. Insert obligatory
"she's also working with hit-maker
Max Martin" comment.

The
introdu
to full-
tributo
music.
gained
Del R
inspirir
sive re
Lana D
Min
and ha
after t
for all-
ly enou
them.'
rapper
of ever
I
But
stuck i
that's
pened.
the To
decide
bottom
Immed

influx of unoriginality born. Who is RomanRomanis an
aced since Dub Swift's shift alter ego - a completely original
blown pop is a major con- concept that has never been done
r to the defamation of pop before, especially not by Beyonce.
Most recently, Swift has "Stupid Hoe," the self-titled
attention for copying Lana promotional single for Pink Fri-
ey's "Ride" music video, day: Roman Reloaded, flopped
ng listeners to begin exten- and made way for "Starships"
search to figure out who and "Pound the Alarm," the over-
el Rey is. produced (i.e. RedOne) dubstep
tracks that stayed in the Top 40
Nicki Minaj for an eternity. Nicki even sang
them herself, rather than taking
aj entered the rap world credit for Ester Dean's voice, like
d some large shoes to fill in "Super Bass."
he disappearance (or death, Despite hijacking Britney
we know) of Lil' Kim; sure- Spears's Femme Fatale tour and
igh though, she was filling snagging a seat at the judge's
The quirky Young Money table on American Idol (i.e. Camp
quickly became the hype Mariah), Pink Friday: Roman
y song's bridge. Reloaded didn't meet the quota
for album sales, thus leading to
its album re-release, Pink Friday:
.ubbleg um Roman Reloaded - The Re-Up,
with eight new tracks (because
disasters. apparently 22 songs on the origi-
nal album wasn't enough). Pink
Friday: Roman Reloaded -. Giving
It One More Try also undersold, so
Minaj was sick of being Minaj pointed a finger at Target
n other artists' verses, and for not carrying the album.
when "Super Basic" hap- Hopefully Minaj's singles are
Nicki liked the view from enjoying the Top 40, because the
p 10, and from that point hatred generated from rap fans
d she was done being a who despise pop and pop fans
feeder of the charts. who despise rap is enough to last
diately, Minaj got in touch alifetime.

with Lady Gaga's go-to producer,
RedOne, as well as other hit-mak-
er songwriters.
After stealing Gaga's producing
crew, she moved on to stealing her
wardrobe, and thus "Roman" was

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Email: dailydisplay@gmail.com

RELEASE DATE- Friday, February 1, 2013
Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle
Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis
ACROSS 69 In support of 32 Maritime birds 53 Baseball Hall of
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Down 34-, 41- and 54- 36 Clothing catalog way
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final site 1 Closes, ina way 42,My aim wasof tons
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NCAA's Black 3 Rocker Ford 44uolercaster 59 anevening
Bears 4 The maximum guides 60 Excited by
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best? otthem isso80 Sitgtensel 6Dabodd
19 Portsmouth pop 5 Fuss 51 Bit of wisdom 64 Toon devil
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plant? 7"Bye!" L A D D E R AGED D E W
23 Centerof. 8 Sports div. A P I E C E D O E R 0 V A
attentionn 9 Showwith a "Just P U F F 0 F S M E CKe N E D
25lAt that point Desets spin-of
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responses 11Absoltely none IRON TACT SATE S
29 Bass player's tool 12 StevenChu's L A N D S N O O Z E F E S T
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attention feature T A I C H I HEW N
39 Man on a 26 Fiscestfollower
mission: Abbr. 27Penlawter N I L K I N DO F A D R A G
40 Disney duck 28Theymayhave E E L E F T S T R E B L E
princess twists WRY R I O T S T R I P E
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THE
FOOTBALL
BOOK
YET?

Katy Perry
Katy Perry: Part of Me 3D was
a major eye opener into Perry's
musical background, for the 15
Americans that witnessed the
film.
In short, the movie is a history
of how Perry went from being
a female rock singer striving to
become the next Alynis Moris-
sette, to becoming a chart-top-
ping, pure-pop artist, all centered
around the theme of staying true
toyourselfas an artist. Right.
Let's look at One of the Boys.
Based on "One of the Boys," "I
Kissed a Girl," "Ur So Gay" and
"Waking Up in Vegas," it seemed
edgy, and she wrote half of the
album herself with only a few
songs by Max Martin and Dr.
Luke. Perry looked like a pop-
rocker who actually had some
artistry.
Let's look at Teenage Dream.
No songs written by Perry, nearly
every song written by Dr. Luke
and Max Martin (also execu-
tive producers of the album), and
barely ahintofrock. Perrydoesn't
hesitate to claim that she wrote all
of the album's tracks, however.
On top of that, every single is
remixed until it becomes a No. 1
song. "The (Number) One That
Got Away" was remixed three
times in desperation to become
her sixth No. 1 single from the
album. It didn't appen.
Upon hearing that Dr. Luke
was undergoing a contract nego-
tiation to work strictly with art-
ists signed to a Sony record label
- not her Capitol record deal
- Perry threw together every
unreleased Dr. Luke song she
had, in preparation for an album
re-release Teenage Dream: The
Complete Desperation.
Included inthis re-release was
the single "Part of Me," a song
disguised to be in context with
her divorce, even though a demo
of the song leaked two years
before her divorce.
Days after Lady Gaga
announced that underground
producer-DJ "Zedd" would be
producing her 2013 album ART-
POP, Katy Perry announced that
Zedd would also be producing
her new record - a "darker"
album titled Darkest of Nights,
a try-hard contrast to Teenage
Dream. Don't hurtyourself, Katy.

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