w w w w
,
lqlw
Aw
_!
,
2B Wednesday December 5, 2012 The Statement
THE JUNK DRAWER
Wednesday December 5 2012 The Statement 7
Casual encounters: Tapping into a secret sex space
letter from the editors
by dylan cinti and jennifer xu
We're very excited to present our Sex Issue. So excited, in fact,
that we went ahead and released one of the pieces - "Casual
Encounters" - online on Monday evening. Perhaps you read it:If not,
we advise you to. It's a University senior's riveting account of gay cruis-
ing in the age of Craigslist and Grindr. In the story,he describes aseries
of random hookupswith students he's met on Craigslist and other sites.
But beyond its salacious premise, the piece is an astute commentary
on the nature of intimacy when sex is as easy as, in the words of the
author, "logging on, perusing, messaging, waiting." Sites such as Craig-
slist, Grindr and Manhunt constitute an entire sexual sphere - a space
where anything goes, and where gratification is almost instantaneous.
After publishing this piece online, we were surfing around the Craig-
slist "m4m" section when an entry caught our eye: "Casual Encoun-
ters MI Daily Article." "To the guy who wrote the Casual Encounters
in the Michigan Daily article," the post read, "wanna have some fun?"
The Internet can be a terrifying place. But it is also be a place where
meaningful connections begin. And who's to say that something that
starts through Craigslist can't lead to something special? If the author
of "Casual Encounters" is reading this, there's a 6'2" stud who's inter-
ested in you. He's a successful guy with bedroom eyes, and he's looking
to "have some fun." Message him.
from last week: animals
How would you feel about working in a lab where you
random student interview
by kaitlin williams / illustrations by megan mulholland
Welcome to the Random Student
Interview, where we talk about
sex for twice as long as it lasts.
OK, so we're only going to print
your first name, so be as candid
as possible. What is it, by the
way?
Westley.
Westley? That's the main charac-
ter's name from one of my favor-
ite movies, "The Princess Bride.'
"The Princess Bride" is my favorite
movie as well! Because I'm in it.
I can see that. You've even got
the flowy blonde hair going!
Sexy.
Thanks.
Oh gosh. At what point during
the coitus was this walking in
on?
Um ... this is graphic. Can I be
graphic?
Yeah! No one is going to know it's
you! It could be any Westley.
There's only a couple Westleys. I
know for a fact there's only two or
three others at this school, but it's
OK.
OK. Go on then.
We were both just naked on her
bed and she walked ... she walked
completely in the room. She didn't
knock. She walked in the room and
it wasn't a big room.
Oh. Intimate setting.
It was a cozy moment for us three.
Oh gosh, that's horrible. So, on
to better sexy topics. Another
question a lot of people ask, if
you could have sex with anyone
in the world, who would it be
and why?
Gosh, you're asking tough ques-
Q
Nice. Don't borrow Westley's
copy of "Into the Blue". OK, so
I've forgotten my other question
during all this sex talk ... So what
do you think is the weirdest sex
story you've heard?
Well, one of my friends told me
about a four-way he did with two
other guys and a girl. It was the
weirdest thing I've ever heard in
my life. It revolted me in several
ways.
Was he, like, bragging about it?
No, he was just ... I don't know!
We were talking about it at hockey
practice and he was just like, "Yeah,
we just did it because we thought
it'd be a good story." And I was like,
"that's a terrible reason!"
Yeah, I mean he could've just
made it up if he was looking for
a story. That's what everybody
else does; they pretend to have
the sex.
That's what I told him. Don't actu-
ally do that. Gosh. The details were
graphic and weird and I'm not
going to get into them so as to save
you the awkwardness.
Well, I thank you for that, and
my readership thanks you for
that. I hope you get laid this
weekend.
-Westley is an LSA freshman.
by A University Senior
had to do experiments on animals? All right. Speaking of sexy, I tions.v
wanna talk about sex for two
I don't think researchers should I wouldn't have a minutes, which is longer than They're tough? You mean guys
be able to test on animals problem with it most people have sex, I think. So, don't just think of this shit all
45.2% 28.6% what's your most embarrassing the time? You're supposed to be.
sex story? prepared to answer these kinds
Most embarrassing sex story... I of questions.
guess I'd just have to say my girl- How about ... Jessica Alba.
friend's mom walking in on me and
her. It was pretty terrible.
3 jYes. Jessica Alba. Why? Or
should I say, why not?
I. She's hot. And she looks phenom-
enal ina bathing suit in "Into the
1 wouldn't be comfortable I wouldn't have a problem
doing it, but I understand why with it T HE statem ent
it's necessary 9.5%
16.7% Magazin Editors Editor in Cief
at are you into?
Last year, I was walking past
Pizza House at 2 a.m. when a tall,
athletic guy stumbled out and shouted "Hey,
FAG!" in my direction.
Fag. Well, sort of, I thought.
I do have sex with men. Usually it's late
at night, and usually it's with men I've met
on the Internet. I also have sex with women,
though that's a bit more complicated than
getting online, sending a few e-mails, and
dropping my pants in a stranger's bed.
"Hey, FAG!" The guy did have a point,
because less than 20 minutes later I was at a
political science major's apartment. He was
crouched in front of me on the ground, his
hands bound with a belt behind his back.
Hey man. Whatsup?
not too much. u?pretty horny... to!.
Not the most romantic of beginnings, but
this isn't about romance. It's about sex.
can you host? ineed to be super discreet if
that's ok. not out.
I could have guessed as much from the
picture he sent. Tall, dark hair, fit and wear-
ing a Michigan Football T-shirt. A college
bro who just happens to like fucking other
college bros.
Sure. You can come to my apartment.
Now, I wait. It's always nerve-wracking,
but in exciting kind of way. -I take a shot of
bad whiskey. In 15 minutes I will be face-to-
face with a guy I just met online, and a few
minutes after he will be taking off his pants.
When he gets to the door we shake hands,
which seems oddly formal. His hair looks
wet from the shower, and he smells a little too
strongly of Old Spice.
"My roommate's asleep, so try to be quiet,"
I say while leading him toward my bedroom.
He notices a glass bowl on my dresser and
says far too loudly, "You smoke weed, man?"
Yeah. I start packing a bowl. -
We make out between hits. He looks like
he's having a good time. I am, too. He starts
to fumble with my belt buckle. Finally he gets
it undone.
"Nice dick, bro."
Don't think anonymous sex between men
is some product of the digital age. It's been
around as long as locker rooms, bathroom
stalls and the CCRB sauna. But for a lot of gay
men our age, "cruising" has migrated online.
This is hook-up culture on steroids. It's easier,
more anonymous and probably safer. Estab-
lishing what you're comfortable with before-
hand is simple.
What are you into? Top or bottom? Any
kinks? FWB? I'm 4/20 friendly. m4mm. Bot-
tom for use. I want to be ridden. I want your
load. I wanna take it slow. Safe sex only. Just
looking to kiss. Just looking for kicks. I'm just
curious.
Craigslist, Adam4Adam, Grindr, Manhunt
- these are the places to meet, chat, and hook
up with other men. Any night of the week you
can find pages and pages of profiles, a good
number of them University students. Some
guys look for friends or dates, but most are
just looking to get off. A lot of students iden-
tify as either "straight" or "curious." Even
more are "discreet" about their sexualities -
in other words, closeted.
Coming out is hard to do. Responding to
"Bottom up for grabs" on Craigslist isn't. So
for the frat guy who laughs when his friends
call someone a fag but secretly wants to kiss
another man; for the freshman whose family
and politics tells him it's not OK to get off on
the gay porn he's been watching since high
school; for the guy who's confused and just
wants to try it out; for all these people, online
hookups offer the simple thing they've been
denied: release.
I'd been with a guy once in high school. In
college, I wanted to try it again, but I wasn't
comfortable with the idea of being "out" in
any sort of public setting. Somehow, I stum-
bled upon the m4m section of Craigslist. The
more people I hooked up with, the more com-
fortable I became.
This all must sound kind of seedy. But as
long as the sex is safe, consensual and plea-
surable, does it really matter how it starts?
Is getting online to look for sex any different
than goingto Rick's or Charley's?
Logging on. Perusing. Messaging. Wait-
ing...
It's another night, another guy. I pick him
up in front of his dorm around 1 a.m. After
saying hello, we both fall silent. I can tell he's
nervous.
"Have you done this sort of thing before,
with a guy?"
"Yeah. A few times."
He's hot. Dark skin, curly hair, a strong,
masculine jawline. Beneath his baggy sweat-
shirt is a toned and muscular physique.
I ask him if he's out, and his tone turns
defensive.
"No. But I'm not gay. I'm bi."
"Metoo."
It's clear he doesn't want to talk, so instead
I reach over the stick shift and put my hand
on his leg.
"Fuck," he says. "I forgot the condom."
I pull my hand away. Maybe he's nervous,
or maybe I'm just not his type.
"Oh, that's fine. We don't have to do this. I
can take you back."
But he really has forgotten the condom.
After he goes back into his dorm to get one,
we fuck in the backseat of my car, parked in
the back corner of the Music School parking
lot. As soon as his shirt comes off, he's not
anxious anymore.
But as we're driving back to his dorm, he's
silent again.
Then he asks: "Are you in a frat? You look
familiar. I think I saw you at a rushing event."
I laugh. "No. Not me."
I can't tell you how many of these hookups
I've had. I can tell you there are many more to
come. One day I'll settle down, probably with
a woman. But that day won't be anytime soon.
For the moment, it's more strangers. More
Michigan Football T-shirts. More bad whis-
key and Old Spice. There's a whole sexual
space on campus that you now know a little
about. If it's up your alley, go for it. Log on,'
peruse. Throw caution to the wind. What are
you into?