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the leaders and the worst
by zach bergson and kaitlin williams
LEADERS

a week of daily stories

* The online research database JSTOR
now has an official apparel store. Now
you can wear a constant reminder of
that research paper you've been put-
ting off for weeks.

* Scientists at Stanford University
found that injecting the blood of
young mice reversed signs of aging
in old mice, stealing a trick from Kim
Jong Il's playbook. If you're wonder-
ing what we're talking about Google
"Kim Jong Il+ virgins" at own risk.

I

Last Saturday, the Wolverines beat Michigan State 12-10 with a late fourth
quarter field goal. The win ended Michigan's four-game losing streak
against the Spartans.

An analysis by the New York Times
found that "Paul Ryan Shirtless" is
Googled nine times more often than
"Paul Ryan Budget." Our analysis
found that Paul Ryan is hot.
JF A
Detroit hit number one on a list of cities!
Forbes' list of America's Most Dangerous
Cities, that is. Fourth year in a row. Oh
yeah, we're on top.
WO]

Obamacare covers pre-
existing conditions, includ-
ing Romnesia.

At its monthly meeting in Palmer Commons last Monday, the Uni-
versity's Senate Assembly questioned candidates for the University
Board of Regents.

Lance Armstrong was stripped of
his seven Tour de France titles and
banned from cycling for life. It's OK
though. Sheryl Crow will commemo-
rate him in song.
RST

MCKENZIE BEKELIN/Daily
Students protested a University-sponsored event titled "The Repub-
lican War on Women" outside of the Hatcher Graduate Library on
Monday. The event hosted about 150 attendees in the library.