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TWednesday, October 24K20K The Statement
THE JUNK DRAWER

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letter from the editors
by dylan cinti and jennifer xu
If your parents have enough disposable income to put you up in a pal-
ace like Zaragon or Landmark, then this issue of The Statement prob-
ably isn't for you. But for the rest ofus - the oneswithout the high-rises
and penthouse apartments - we must learn to discerningly navigate
the world of off-campus real estate.
To begin that navigation, there's a couple things to consider. That's
where this issue comes in handy.
First of all, give that lease you're considering signing a good, thorough
read. Payspecial attention to extraneous fees. Is there a clause for a "non-
refundable $1,000 move-in fee"? If so, time to start looking elsewhere.
Now, who are the people you're thinking of signing with? Can you
imagine using the same bathroom as them? Do you envision them
doing the dishes more than just once per semester? If you assumed no
on either account, don't sign on the dotted line.
And what if you think that houses or apartments just aren't right for
you? What if you're looking for something a little more community-
based, with cheaper rent and a self-governing system? Finding the right
fit is equally important as fees or roommates.
These are some questions to ask yourself. There are more.
Needless to say, housing is pretty complex stuff. But when every-
thing falls into place, it can be fantastic. That's the experience we want
you to have - the one where you walk into your house and enjoy it,
unencumbered by rusty pipes, dirty dishes and dirtier slumlords.
And so we present our Housing Issue. It's got a little something for
everyone. Live alone? Read Jesse Klein's article about how despite liv-
ing alone, you are not alone. Trying to get off North Campus and into a
more centrally located residence hall? Read Leah Shepherd's firsthand
account of how that can actually happen. And finally, everyone should
turn to our center spread to learn about what you'll pay on a neighbor-
hood-to-neighborhood basis.

random student interview
by brandon shaw
Where are you living next year? have asthma so, you know? Do you have any Springsteen
Maybe a house. It's either a house posters?
or an apartment - I'm not sure. What was the first question I I do not.
asked you?
What's the difference between a Uh, about the house or apartment? My whole room is Springsteen
house and an apartment? posters.
What's the difference? A house is Great, now can you tell me who I know, because you're obsessed.
a lot more action going on. This you're living with next year? I've heard you talking about this
apartment thing, it's just a couple Uh, it could be a variety of people, from across the library for hours.
people. It's not as crazy. but probably this kid named Enzo. You talk loudly. You have what
some may deem a man crush on
You don't like crazy? This kid? I'm sure he's glad to this Bruce guy.
Um, I like crazy, but I don't like, know how you refer to him. Do
you know, too crazy. you have friends? Can you do me a favor and give
Yeah, you know, I have a couple me some metaphors, some figu-
Yeah, I'm that - I'm too crazy. more than you do, I bet. rative language on the differ-
From the little I've ... I'd agree ences between a house and an
with that. I'd agree with that com- I told you, I'm shy - I don't apartment and do you identify
pletely. know many people. I have dif- with one more than the other,
ficulty confronting or otherwise and why?
Why do you agree with that? engaging in conversation with Uh, that's a very philosophical
You are crazy. What some would people. question.
call intense? That's true. ButI think, I mean
you may be, quote unquote, shy, I'm a philosophical dude.
What's intense? butI don't really buy that. I think I need a couple of seconds to think
But, I mean, it's different from it's all an act for you. I don't really about this.
what I was saying with the apart- buy your act.
ment and house. I mean, you're ... Please, take your time, while I
you're just crazy because you're So you're saying I'm a liar, basi- sing to you. Show a little faith,
like, you know, crazy, but it's not cally? You're saying this is all a there's magic in the night; you
like the house versus the apart- load of my initials? ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all
ment crazy. Um, your initials? right! And that's just fine, with

I'm very shy, it tends to be a Yes, my initials are B.S.
problem in my life. Yes, it is a load of B.S.; I'll stay
That, uh, that deserves a snicker, clean - I don't want to use any
because I don't think it's true. expletives.
Hungry? Grab a Snicker's. Actually, that was my moniker,
That's okay, so I'm actually aller- so that's my credit. We're clean
gic. here at The Michigan Daily.
We're also clean in our houses.
Are you allergic to apartments? Are you clean at your house?
I'm, uh, no. Not really. That's the part of the crazy. When
you're not crazy in a house or
Do you smoke cannabis in these apartment, then you're not'clean.
apartments?
No. That doesn't even make sense,
but OK. Do you like posters in
Why not? your house?
Why? Because uh, I don't know. I Yeah, I guess.

me.
OK, that's enough. I don't want to
hear any more of this, you're out
of key, man! I'm going to go with,
I'm a little more like an apart-
ment with some house features.
Because the apartment is, like, not
as crazy, but a house is, you know,
a little crazy. Just crazy enough,
like me.
Like me, I'm crazy.
Right, so you're a house.
So, you'll be living ina condo-
minium next year, based on this
entire premise. Have a nice day.
-Aron is an LSA junior.

VISIT BOOK.MICHIGANDAILY.COM THE statement
FOR MORE INFORMATION Magazine Editors: Editor in Chief: Managing Editor:
Dylan Cinti Joseph Lichterman Andrew Weiner
Jennifer Xu Design Editor: Photo Editor:
We tweet, too! Deputy Editors: Nolan Loh Terra Molengraff
ollow us on Twitter @thestatementmlag Kaitlin Williams Copy Editor: illustrator:
Zach Bergson Josephine Adams Megan Mulholland