2B Wednesday, April 13, 2011 // The Statement
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random student interview by stephen ostrowski
Welcome to the Ran-
dom Student Inter-
view, where the line
between journalistic integ-
rity and personal boundaries
Why don't you start off by tell-
ing me what your summer plans
Um, my summer plans are going
to work at a canoe livery on the
Oh cool. How'd you get that?
I just applied on A2.gov.
Are you a canoe enthusiast?
What drew you to that?
Just the outdoor line of work. Last
summer I worked at a ski resort in
Park City, Utah, soI like working
Oh cool. Would you call yourself
'd like to be extreme, but I'm not
too extreme. Amateur extreme.
What's the most extreme thing
you've ever done?
Um, I don't know. Gone skiing out
Cheetos, I think, have been
described as extreme. Extreme-
ly cheesy or something.
One time Iate an entire bag of
Cheetos when I was really high.
Just because it won't show up in
the recording, give me a sense of
the size of this bag.
About this big.
Can you quantify the bag? How
tall? A foot?
It was cheese puffs, too.
So it wasn't Cheetos?
Cheeto brand cheese puffs.
That is really extreme. So would
you say your summer's going to
be like - comparing it between
movies - "Jane Eyre" or the
"Hangover Part II?"
What was the first one?
"Jane Eyre. "
"Hangover Part II" because Bill
Clinton's in that.
Which "Hangover" character
would you say you're most like?
Um, I'd like to say Bradley Cooper.
Why Bradley Cooper?
Because he's the best looking and
often time takes on the leader role.
If you had to choose between
being the portly man with a
beard who travels in the wolf
pack, or the man who inadver-
tently marries a stripper who
looses a tooth, who would you
describe yourself as?
Uh, the portly man with a beard.
Have you ever acted likea portly
man ... with a beard?
No. I've always bordered - I've
never actually reached portly yet
-I've bordered between out of
shape and like slightly chubby,
and I've never had a beard. I just
shaved today actually, and I
had what like he has (points to
friend). Just a little bit more than
stubble, I'd say. I've never tried to
grow an actual beard.
Has it been a struggle for you?
No I don't know. I'll wait until
I'm an older man to grow a beard.
Hold onto my youth.
Does anybody in your family
bald, speaking of holding onto
I've been thinking about that alot.
None of them are early balders. So
I'm glad about that. ButI mean my
grandpa's bald, and he's about 70.
Let's shift to politics. Are you a
I watch pretty much every episode
of "The Daily Show" and "The Col-
bert Report," but that's about it.
Do you prefer Colbert or Stew-
Stewart. Stewart for sure.
He's more of a gentleman. He's
a really talented TV host and
comedian, whereas Colbert is
really funny because of that whole
persona thing and he can be more
ridiculous, but Stewart overall just
runs a tighter show.
Did you know Donald Trump is
running for president? Are you
exited or depressed?
I didn't take it seriously - is it 100
percent for sure? I didn't take it
seriously until I saw the roasting.
He basically just sprung iton me.
I heard The Situation bombed
at the roast.
Yeah it was awful.
Was it good or bad?
He actually managed to, (on) one
or two jokes, manage to not get a
Tell me your best Donald
I don't have any Donald Trump
jokes. I'm not a hack.
Do you think Rebecca Black
deserves all the criticism she's
Uh, criticism. Yeah. I think she
deserves her fame too, though.
If you had to make a song about
the day of week, which day of
the week and can you give me a
Hmm ... I couldn't give you any
hooks. But I'd probably go for - I
mean, she's already got Friday,
and there's already been a couple
about Saturday already, so I'd
probably try Tuesday or Thurs-
day. Something random.
What's great about Tuesday
Hmm ... They probably get passed
by. Nobody really thinks about
them. There's probably something
you could do something with. I
don't know. I mean I love "Fri-
day." I sing it every Friday.
Yeah? Nice. So back to the
Donald, because I'm intrigued.
He's been calling for President
Obama's birth certificate. What
are your thoughts on that?
I mean that's really stupid. It's
clear that President Obama has
a birth certificate. Honestly, he
really doesn't have a shot to win
the presidency. The only reason
he's getting so close is everyone's so
concerned about the fiscal situation
of the country, and he's supposed to
be a fiscal genius.
Who would you want to see in
the White House?
Are you on Twitter?
I don't have a Twitter. I find myself
going on Twitter.
Who do you follow on Twitter?
Questlove, Tyler the Creator from
odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them
All. That's about it. Just members
of Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill
Do you follow Earl?
Does he have a Twitter? No, Earl
doesn't have a Twitter.
What are your thoughts on Earl?
Free fucking Earl. Earl's the best
16-year-old rapper that ever -
I mean, Lil' Bow Wow had a
quite a run.
Yeah I don't know. I'm pretty sure
Earl trumps him.
Trumps - see, you're thinking
about the Donald. Now this is
ridiculous: Did you know Snooki
has more followers on Twitter
than the Dalai Lama? I think I
read that somewhere.
That makes sense, the Dalai Lama
really shouldn't have a Twitter.
There's something weird about
That's interesting. Last ques-
tion: Have you filled out your
teacher evaluations yet?
No. There's no teacher I feel really
strongly enough this semester.
Justin is an Art &
Thursday, April 14th
International Center, Room 9
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