The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

Monday, March 28, 2011-- 7A

Perils o .A.M.E.

Yawning with 'Stars'

Chris Brown's
latest is catchy but
too self-pitying
By CHLOE STACHOWIAK
Daily Arts Writer
Chris Brown had a rough two
years in the media. After assault-
ing then-girlfriend Rihanna in
2009, his usual
life of "running
it" has been
turned upside- Chris Brown
down - instead
of the usual F.A.M.E.
radio releases
and European lve
tours he was
once accustomed to, the artist
has been busy with court dates
and community service. It's a
scandal that has shaken Brown's
fanbase worldwide, even lead-
ing to the cancellation of his UK
tour. Being a woman-beater and
a smooth-talking R&B artist just
isn't easy - felony charges have
a way of overshadowing even the
most heartfelt love songs.
By releasing his album
F.A.M.E., Chris Brown hopes
to right his wrongs and reclaim
his career from the hands of the
tabloids. His second release since
the 2009 incident, the album
plays on slow tempos and feel-
ings of vulnerability to rebuild
his romantic image. It's a desper-
ate cry to be restored to his for-
mer self - a sensitive ladies' man
instead of a brute with battered
r knuckles and a criminal record.
Brown's road to redemp-
tion begins with "Deuces." It's
a smooth, seductive song pep-
pered with rapping and per-
cussion, snappy and rhythmic
without being too aggressive.
However, the track's true colors
shine through its horrendously
crafted lyrics: Chris Brown and
the rappers Tyga and Kevin

COURTESY OFSONY
The face that breaks mirrors.

McCall join forces to deliver
some of the most generic lines to
enter the FM radio waves. The
three whine together about the
horrors of relationships and fall-
ing in love as they describe past
Valentine's Days and all times
they texted their ladies without
receiving replies.
The sob-fest reaches is its
peak when the words "fuck love"
are declared - it's a dramatic,
unoriginal statement that would
feel right at home in a preteen's
AIM profile. Despite their idi-
ocy, the lyrics still accomplish
one of the album's goals: They
portray Chris Brown as being
the helpless victim of relation-
ships - a far cry from the violent
felon he's been known as more
recently.
F.A.M.E.'s other tracks fol-
low in the footstep of "Deuces,"
as they spin their not-so-subtle
messages. With lyrics like "I'm
not gonna be the one to mess
this up" and "I never wanted
us to break up," Brown's goal to
sound defenseless is obvious. No
matter what the specific premise
of each song is or which DJs and
featured rappers help lay down
his tracks, he is always the vic-
tim of heartache.

Even ' with such tiresome
themes, the quality ofthe album's
music is undeniable. With their
intricate drum patterns and
rhythmic rapping, some of the
tracks are downright catchy -
especially the album's finale,
"Beautiful People." The song,
which features techno superstar
Benny Benassi, makes up for its
overly conventional lyrics with
tantalizing beats and synthesiz-
er. The house-style instrumen-
tals are blissful, hypnotizing and
more powerful than the vocals
themselves, drowning out every
predictable "just live your life"
and "your beauty's deep inside."
The fragile-hearted senti-
ments in F.A.M.E. may lose their
sparkle after a few songs, but
there's still something to be said
about the album's persistence. By
pushing these emotions to their
limits, Chris Brown has proven
more than just his vulnerability
- he's shown his dedication to
his career as well. Only time can
tell whether or not the album is
enough to reshape his image, but
the artist has at least one thing on
his side: If he was able to bounce
back after his laughable guest
performance on "The O.C." in
2007, anything is possible.

By KELLY ETZ
Daily Arts Writer
Nearly 21 million viewers
watched the premiere of the
12th season of "Dancing with
the Stars" last
Monday night.
Apparently,
it's a popular Dancing with
show. Yet it's the Stars
hard to imag-
ine what all Season 12
those people Premiere
are tuning in
for. Is it the Mondays at 8p.m.,
tacky cos- Tuesdays at 9p.m.
tumes? Fake ABC
tans? Forced
emotions? Embarrassing, hard-
to-watch routines?
Maybe it's this season's
assembled group of celebrities.
From football star Hines Ward
to actress Kirstie Alley, "DWTS"
has gone out of its way this sea-
son to deliver a lively cast of
"almost" celebrities. The biggest
name for season 12 is apparently
Ralph Macchio, best known for
his starring role in "The Karate
Kid" over two decades ago.
It's likely you haven't even
heard of some of these sup-
posed "celebrities," namely radio
personality Mike Catherwood
("Loveline") and Disney channel
star Chelsea Kane ("JONAS").
The rest of the cast consists of
former Playboy bunny and real-
ity star Kendra Wilkinson, box-
ing legend Sugar Ray Leonard,
talk show host Wendy Williams,
supermodel Petra Nemcova, hip-
hop artist Romeo and wrestler
Chris Jericho.
One thing all these stars have
in common is that they're taking
the show way too seriously. There
are a lot of tears and emotional
displays packed into roughly 90
minutes. All 11 celebrities seem
to have gone on "DWTS" because
they have something to prove,
other than the fact that they
couldn't find work elsewhere.

cOURTESY OF ABC
If you had to touch Kirstie Alley's love handles, you'd make that face too.

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ard a guess, many of the beforehand. The humiliation
may be trying their best of these C-list celebrities is the
firm they're still relevant whole point of the show.
tgh choosing to be part of Overall, the top stars of the
S" seems like a contradic- nightturned outto be - shocking-
ove. ly - Ralph Macchio, with a score
for the actual dancing, of 24 out of 30, closely followed
are moments when eyes by Kirstie Alley (who declared,
o be shielded from the "If I have to haul ass, it will take
amount of embarrassment two trips") with a score of 23.
sing on screen. It's like But aside from the celebrities,
ng FOX's "So You Think also of note were the agonizingly
an Dance,", but without awkward critiques coming out of
judge Bruno Tonioli's mouth and
the fact that the show has a live
tars,' in the audience, meaning people actual-
ly witnessed the agony in person.
osest sense. It's truly astounding how pop-
ular the show is, considering the
multitude of other options air-
ing at the same time. Even "The
ual talent. After receiving Event" must be better than this
generally dismal) scores, torture. But "DWTS" remains
1 of the celebrities wax on stubbornly in the lead in the
ow nervous they were and ratings department, despite
ifficult it was to try and (or thanks to) its endless sup-
m without having a clue ply of tackiness and unbearable
ballroom dance. It begs amount of mortification, mean-
estion, what are they doing ing there are surely many more
WTS" in the first place? seasons of "DWTS" to endure. At
sly they aren't going to least "How I Met Your Mother"
anything about dancing is only a click away.

I Ii ~ ''~~'~-

Seniors say
Graduating? Thank that special someone
for making a difference in your life!
Whether it was a professor, a campus friend, a parent,
roommate or another special person-this is your chance
to show yuir rtitaide.

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