The Michigan Daily -- michigandaily.com

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 - 7

The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, February 15, 2011 -7

Taking on the top ten

hree weeks ago my car
died, which has been a
total drag. But out of all
the convenience it granted me,
the thing I
miss most
about having
it is listen-
ing to pop
radio. So in
my Toyota's
memory, I'm
reviewing JOE
Billboard's DIMUZIO
top ten for
the week of
Feb. 7-13, most of which are new
to me.
1."BLACK AND YELLOW" -
WIZ KHALIFA
It's profitable if you can write
a hit song about colors. Anybody
can make it their anthem. Foot-
ball teams. High schools. Bum-
blebees. And thanks to Gucci,
yellow hasn't been this popular
since, well, ever.
The song's video pans over
the city of Pittsburgh, fills it
with ecstatic teens jumping
around in Pirates hats and all.
But the best part of the whole
thing is the first minute when
Wiz wakes up, swags up and
goes downstairs to kiss his mom
and eat some scrambled eggs
(yellow!). He lives at home, and
he's not too humble to admit it.
P.S. Does anyone else think
that hook sounds like a circus
in hell?
2."GRENADE" - BRUNO
MARS
Eh, not much to say on this
one. I thought it'd be a "Shore"
reference, but I was disappointed.
But Bruno's got a pretty sexy
voice. It's androgynous enough
to please anyone, comfortably
"weathered" and belts nicely.
Like any video on VEVO,
there were more comments
about Justin Bieber than Mr.
Mars on this one - which is odd
only because I realize I've come
to accept how pmmon thatsl.
3."FIREWORK" - KATY
PERRY
Whew. This song is exhaust-
ing. That chorus? It's a wrist-
breaker. The compulsion to fist
pump is scary strong.
"Teenage Dream" was triple-
A stuff, but "Firework" wants
to soar so much it crashes on

liftoff. And enough with these
pan-LGBT lip service tracks. If
you don't really mean it, don't
bother. You ever felt likea plas-
tic bag? Yeah ... me neither.
4."F**KIN' PERFECT" -
P!NK
I never realized P!nk had an
exclamation point in her name.
The song hasan F-bomb in the
title. Believe in yourself. So like
Perry in "Firework," P!nk sings
in widescreen - more power
to her. Is this the sort of song
which might save somebody
from killing themselves? Does
P!nk believe that she has that
ability to do that? Was it always
punk to care?
Like the friend who's found
Jesus, she's come so far from
"There You Go." I wish we could
go back there, but like she said
even back then - "Can't Take

is this song a promise? Running
commentary?
Regardless of the answer, no
song on this list had as clever
a pick-up line as "Let's remove
the space between me and you."
Think about that one for a few
seconds.
Done? Now another. Is Lud-
acris impossible to hate? That
one might take a little longer.
7. "ROCKETEER" -- FAR
EAST MOVEMENT FT. RYAN
TEDDER
Now, this is how you do it,
Katy. "G6" was fun, but this one
flies beautifully. Vaguely Bale-
aric, some huge piano and that
ubiquitous out-of-the-clouds
Bruno Mars hook (it's sung
by Ryan Tedder, but Mars co-
wrote). I want an instrumental
of this one - it's airborne.

No longer sharing
Murphy's 'Glee'

Second season of hit
FOX show alienates
with its immaturity
By CAROLYN KLARECKI
Daily Magazine Editor
Ryan Murphy, what have you
done? You took a show with heart,
character and ingenuity and bas-

tardized its
second season.
Instead of creat-
ing a show that
makes people
think, you've
pandered to the
lowest common
denominator.
You give the

*
Glee
Season Two
Midseason
Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
FOX

Me Ho
5. IN
DRE F
LARG
Mar
blown
two w
know
be
Post

ame." 8. "WHAT'S MY NAME" -
RIHANNA FT. DRAKE
NEED A DOCTOR"- DR. I reviewed this in 2010, and
FT. EMINEM AND SKY- I'm still not tired of it. Even if
3REY Willow Smith beat Rihanna at
n, Eminem has never her own game with a single song
harder. I mean that in last year, tunes like this keep
ays, and not sexually. We her in the ring after Gaga's diva-
how he feels about gays. destruction-derby. Buoyant,
tense, tropical ... it makes good
on that "Rude Boy" promise.
But Drake, I'm not sold on you
yet, and your verse on this sure
broken, but isn't convincing me.
3illboard is 9."HEY BABY (DROP IT TO
THE FLOOR)" - PITBULL
still here. FT. T-PAIN
Againwiththe Eurobeat! It's
fun stuff. But why's it credited
to Pitbull? T-Pain does all the
t-rehab Eminem spits his heavy lifting here.

masses sequins
and jazz hands instead of compel-
ling narratives, hoping they don't
notice you're feeding them com-
mercialized crap. The sad part is,
they don't notice. People still tune
in to "Glee." They may always
tune in to "Glee." Ryan Murphy,
you've created a monster, and you
ought to be ashamed of yourself.
The list of grievances is so long
it's hard to know where to start:
the shot-for-shot replicas of Brit-
ney Spears videos (we can see
those on YouTube, Murphy), the
weekly guest spots for any celeb-
rity with a passing interest in
"Glee," the whiny and immature
characters who are impossible to
root for. Let's begin with realism.
Yes, a show where high school
kids break out in song and dance
to convey their feelings isn't going
to be realistic. However, the writ-
ers have taken measures to bring
the musical numbers into the

realistic realm. In the second
season, there aren't random solos
just because Rachel (Lea Michele)
feels the need to express herself.
All songs have a motivation -
wish the plot did.
In the second season, "Furt"
brings Kurt's dad and Finn's mom
together for a tacky shotgun wed-
ding, where the glee club dances
down the aisle, viral video style.
Meanwhile, Sue Sylvester (Jane
Lynch) decides to get married to
herself Mercedes (Amber Riley)
gets a small story about body
image, but only to serve Gwyneth
Paltrow's guest spot - once she's
gone, the story stops. Sue inex-
plicably paints herself green for
the Christmas episode - as if we
wouldn't get it. Lauren (Ashley
Fink), better known as the geeky
wrestler girl, joins New Direc-
tions after rescuing Puck from a
Porta-John and hooking up with
him ina supply closet.
Will Schuester (Matthew Mor-
rison) displays the emotional
maturity of a12 year old in "Rocky
Horror Glee" where he desperate-
ly claws his way through school
policy so his students can perform
"Rocky Horror" - all so he can
win back the doe-eyed counselor
he cheated on in season one. He
shows a similar display of judg-
ment when performing "Toxic"
at a school assembly with New
Directions as kids in the audience
get so hot and bothered, they start
ripping their clothes off in the
most uncomfortable minute tele-
vision has ever seen.
Let's not forget that in season
one, when the glee club sexed
up a performance for the high
school assembly, Will was right-
fully aghast. Similarly, while per-

forming (another) mash-up with
the football team for the cham-
pionship game brought everyone
together for the big win this sea-
son, so did "All the Single Ladies"
last season. No one grows, and the
stories don'tchange.
Rachel is a mega-monster and
will always put herself first. Will
will always be a creepy loser. The
Quinn-Finn-Rachel-Puck-Sam
love pentagon will stand strong.
Sue is doomed to outlandish,
childish schemes as the writers
try to top her last stunt. The glee
club will fight, they'll get slushies
to the face, Will will try to reign
them in, they'll sing some Top 40
(specifically selected for maxi-
mum iTunes purchases) and go
home happy.
There is one redeeming quality
to the second season of "Glee" -
Murphy's commitment to tell the
story of the lone gay student liv-
ing among the intolerant. We got
chills when Karofsky (Max Adler)
threatened to kill Kurt (Chris
Colfer). We were angry when
there was nothing the school
could do about it. We celebrated
when Kurt found acceptance in
Blaine (Darren Criss). Amid the
petty fights over solos and scissor-
ing cheerleaders - added solely
for shock value - there is one real
issue with real emotions stillleft.
Still, the second season has
been nothing short of a train
wreck. "Glee" now exists solely
to make money. Songs for "Rocky
Horror Glee" were censored to
boost iTunes sales, the Glee cast
does commercials for Chevrolet,
and in the last episode, Blaine-
sang in a product-placed Gap.
This is no longer a TV show. It's a
schizophrenic cash cow.

rhymes so loud, so hard and so
free of range that it's all become
mush. He can't sit with a single
damn beat on any tune, no mat-
ter how pop the chorus, how
slick the collaborators. And in
the end, his shouting amounts
to so little. Hell, "We Made You"
was better than this.
Well, maybe not.
6. "TONIGHT (I'M LOVIN'
YOU)"- ENRIQUE IGLE-
SIAS FT. LUDACRIS AND DJ
FRANK E
Geez, Euro isback in a big
way. We're in tle middleof a
recession, and never have people
liked to party harder. Or at least
hear songs about it. And Enrique
has never crushed it harder. But

10. "HOLD IT AGAINST ME"
-BRITNEY SPEARS
Black Out's "Freak Show"
hinted at it, and here we have
it - Britney does dubstep. It's
sleazy in doses, fits her fine and
is still tame and pop enough to
chart.
This is probably the best song
on'the list by far, and if I said I"
was looking forward to her next
album you might scoff. But I
mean it when I say that Blackout
was one of the best albums of
the decade. It's good to have you
back, Britney.
Dimuzio is taking the bus. To
help him bide his time, e-mail
him at shonenjo@umich.edu.


ALernin PinFs
Learning in Las Vegas

By DANIEL CARLIN
DailyArts Writer
While many students go to
Europe to "find themselves" fol-
lowing graduation, University
undergraduate alum Rick Lax
chose a different location after
his graduation from law school:
Las Vegas. In his second book,
"Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hook-
ers, Headliners, and How Not to
Get Screwed in Vegas," which
came out last month, Lax takes
readers through his tales and
encounters of deceit in Sin City.
Lax isn't new to the author
experience. At the age of 26,
Lax had graduated from DePaul
School of Law and had already
published a memoir on that
experience, a book entitled
"Lawyer Boy: A Case Study on
Growing Up." Though most
of his peers tend to journey to
Europe following their gradua-
tions, Lax decided to make the
sojourn to Las Vegas.
"They go to Europe to go and
'find themselves,'" Lax said in a
recent interview with The Mich-
igan Daily. "I am pretty sure
that is code for just doing drugs
in Europe. For me, I don't like
backpacking, I like to be indoors
and I like air conditioning, so I
wanted to come to Vegas."
"Fool Me Once" leads readers
through the casinos of the Vegas
Strip and into a world full of fear
and deception. Lax has come to
Sin City on a mission: to figure
out a way to outsmart predators
and to not be duped.
"In Chicago, the girl that I
had been dating at the time -
she got conned by a drug dealer,
and that scared the shit out of
me," Lax said. "Iwanted to make
sure something like that would
never happen to me or anyone

else I
learn
and Ve
place ti
Lax
irony
to Las'
lying.
"Th
with e
consta
that I
more f
ple - I
ties fo:
courtr
CU
La
lea
His
book
accoml
not be
deceive
to Sin
during
describ
sense o
"It h
time w
has ma
person
Still
years,
by Las
as a f
Vegas
explore
Desi
sion, L
science
uate y

cared about. I wanted to himself as a "writer" while a
more about deception, student at the University - Lax
gas seemed like the right noted that he only took one
o do it." writing class, a class that was
understands the overall taught by current LSA English
of a law graduate moving Prof. Tish O'Dowd.
Vegas to learn more about "Professor O'Dowd was won-
derful and gave fantastic notes
at's the joke that I deal on my stories," Lax said. "And
very day," he said. "I am that kind of gave me a feeling of
ntly explaining to people what it was like to have a really
don't think lawyers lie good editor go through your
requently than most peo- stuff."
think it's less. The penal- While still a student,. Lax
r getting caught lying in a had two of his plays produced
oom are very severe." through Basement Arts: a col-
lection of comedy sketches titled
"Who Are You" and a piece for
Y alum Rick the 24-hour theater.
Lax was also a writer for both
ix speaks on the Daily's Arts and News sec-
tions. He covered a number of
rningto not stories and faced a synthesis of
St n the two sections when he cov-
et screwed. ered the union strike at the first
opened Borders Books on East
Liberty Street.
Though Lax didn't want to
wacky adventures in the be labeled or categorized as a
demonstrate that he has writer throughout college, it's
plished his goal. Lax does clear that he did have a way with
lieve that he has been words - both visually and oral-
ed at all since his arrival ly. For instance, when he was
City - his experiences unsatisfied with the lack of stu-
the period his memoir dent representation on the Ann
ses have heightened his Arbor City Council, he decided
)f doubt. he would run for election him-
turt me spending so much self. Though he did not end up
ith deceivers because it winning, the election proved to
de me an overly skeptical be a worthy experience, as he
," Lax said. later tackled law school.
after two-and-a-half Time will tell if Lax plans to
Lax remains spellbound captivate courtrooms anytime
Vegas. In his second year soon, but at the moment he's
tull-time writer for Las enjoying writing and colliding
Weekly, he continues to with the colorful characters that
e the wonders of the city. make up the seedy underbelly of
pite his current profes- Las Vegas.
ax, who was a political "I don't have any lofty goals
major in his undergrad- (when writing)," Lax said. "I just
ears, never thought of like money, attention and sex."

We see the big picture, identify and solve core problems,
discover new opportunities and implement the game-changing
strategies that deliver sustainable results to companies around
the world. We use our niche experience and broad knowledge
of supply chain, operations, and information technology to
solve complex problems in all areas of a client's business.
CGN & Associates, Inc.
United States Europe I India I China
~----cgn 'nt------------------------------------------- - --
------------------------------------------------------------------------ - ---

I

I