The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, November 24, 2010 - 7 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Wednesday, November 24, 2010 - 7 : ~ DUELING COLUMNS In the week leading up to the Michigan-Ohio State football game each year, football writers from the Daily and the student news- paper at Ohio State exchange columns. As both teams prepare for The Game on Saturday, here's this year's installment: The Michigan Daily's Joe Stapleton: The Ohio State Lantern's Zack Meisel: Columbus smells like piss. And I don't mean it smells like some of its honorable residents decided to relieve them- selves one too many times behind a secluded pine tree or in an abandoned alley. I'm saying that upon entering Columbus you are immediately hit with such a strong stench of piss that it's best described JOE STAPLETON as an aura, hang- ing over the city like the dark, grey clouds that give it its depressing, hopeless charm. The stink is so strong it seems possible that those clouds, when let loose, release not rainwater but that foul, acid-yellow expulsion; God's very own personal urinal. Unfortunately, the intense, almost attacking smell that hits you at the city limits is not enough to base a column on. Still more unfor- tunate is the fact that the Buckeyes have beaten the Wolverines in "The Game" for six straight seasons, leaving little on-field inspiration to draw upon for material. But in an extremely lucky twist of fate, I have fell into the posses- sion of something that couldn't be 4 more timely or essential: a series of entries from Ohio State quar- terback Terrelle Pryor's personal diary. Without further ado, the inspired writings of Mr. Pryor: Jan. 25th, 2009 Dear Diary, WTF, Diary? Just lost the Fiesta Bowl against Texas. It was the third straight loss for us ina bowl game! Why can't we win when it counts??? Nov. 2nd, 2009: Dear Diary, I saw on the news today everyone hating on Mike Vick just for killinga few dogs. WTF is everyone making such a big deal out of it? Don't they know everyone murders? Nov. 21st, 2010: Dear Diary, There are so many haters out there! I'm gonna go get some food- gotta find 10 pairs of socks in order tofit into my own shoes. Man I was watching College Gameday today and saw Kirk Herb- streit talking shit. He a fake Buckeye. Wait, that's too good not to tweet. Alas, that's all I have. Well, it's all I could make out - the rest was a jumbled mix of poorly-drawn pic- tures of his house labeled "home- work" and simple algebra written in crayon. ButI think what we have, though meager, still gives us a glimpse into the amazing mind of Ohio State's starting quarterback. The piercing scent of urine that seeps into clothing and pores so you can't get the smell out for a week after leaving that depressing troth of a city? That aura of human waste that hangs over the center of Ohio like an atmosphere? It's merely a physical manifestation of the attitude of Columbus. The city's citizens, and indeed Ohio State's students most of all, wallow in this hopeless mediocrity which is made all the more saddening by their lack of understanding of it. They exist in a sort of bliss, willfully ignorant of the futility of their attempts at being "better" than Michigan. Yes, the Ohio State football team has dominated Michigan's for six years. But to compare the University of Michigan to Ohio State University is to compare a filet mignon to a steaming pile of human feces. The sad part? They still try. But when you are so steeped in a tradition that demands willful ignorance, medieval values and sub-par results, how can you expect to compete with a school that con- sistently churns out the leaders and best? Even Terrelle Pryor, who by most measures has been a very good quarterback, seems unable to fit into his own shoes - Buckeyes just aren't used to exceedingly high expectations. One of the most applicable quotes I could find on the existence of Ohio State students comes from Bill Watterson, an Ohio native who understand the plight of Ohio State University better than anyone and the author of the timeless comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. In one comic, Calvin explains what he believes to be the existence of girls by comparing them to insects. In my paraphrasing, I'm replacing "girls" with "Ohio State students": I imagine bugs and Ohio State students have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it. So Michigan fans, hate Ohio State all you want, just remember how sad and pitiful the "institu- tion's" existence really is. And for all the students attend- ing this poor excuse for a Univer- sity, don't hate them - feel sorry for them. They just don't know any better. M aybe we would have been better off if the "Game of the Cen- tury" never took place. There couldn't have been a bigger stage for the 2006 meeting between Ohio State and Michi- gan: No.1I vs. No. 2, fight- ing for the ZACK right to the MEISEL BCS Champi- onship Game. Bo Schembechler's death the night before even provided an emotional undertone. Then, the game exceeded expectations, as the Buckeyes escaped with a 42-39 victory in a contest marked by big plays, costly penalties and an uneasy audience. Four years later, we still clutch onto memories of that epic affair. It spoiled us. OSU takes pride in beating Michigan, and vice versa. But the Buckeyes' recent dominance in the series - OSU has won six in a row and eight of nine against its nemesis - has tamed the rivalry a bit. The more at stake, the big- ger the reward. When OSU and Michigan are the cream of the Big Ten crop, the game has more meaning. In 2006, the Buckeyes knocked the Wolverines out of contention for a trip to the national title game: On Satur- day, an OSU win could redirect r4_ . ' ' ' . , :' An Ohio State fan holds up a sign at last year's Michigan-Ohio State game. Michigan from the TicketCity Bowl to the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. I'm not sure how much motivation that provides. Of course, players and coaches will say the right things and play up the significance of the matchup. It still means a lot - there would be no sweeter culmination to an up-and-down Michigan season than an upset at the Horseshoe. However, the rivalry is at its best when both teams are at their best. The Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers maintain a rivalry because of their history of games with NBA title implica- tions on the line, not because of a few April meetings in which they jostled for draft position- ing. "The Game" will probably never reach the pinnacle of importance it hit in 2006. But it serves the rivalry and its fans better when there's more on the line. Until both teams return to their typical perch atop the Big Ten, we'll keep reminisc- ing about the game that epito- mizes what Ohio State-Michigan is all about. Legends Classic Preview By Zak Pyzik |1 Daily Sports Writer The Michigan men's basketball team will spend its Thanksgiving break in Atlantic City, NJ for the Legends Classic tournament. The Wolverines (3-0), who have so far breezed through opponents, take on Syracuse on Fri- day night. Michigan has looked good in its wins over South Carolina Upstate, Bowling Green and Gardner-Webb - beating each by at least 19 points. If Michigan beats Syracuse it will advance to play the winner of the Georgia Tech and UTEP game in the final round. If the Wolverines lose, they play the loser of that game in a third-place contest. Here's a look at Michigan's potential opponents in Atlantic City. Michigan coach Red Berenson will coach in his final College Hockey Showcase this weekend. Mich an to face off in 18th and final College Hockey Showcase By MARK BURNS Daily Sports Editor For the last 17 years, the Michigan hockey team has squared off against Minnesota and Wisconsin - both premiere Division I programs - in the College Hockey Showcase over Thanksgiving weekend. Michigan coach Red Beren- son described the event after Tuesday's practice as a "big test for our team every year, and it's a test for their teams as well." Among the three schools, there have been five national championships in those two decades along with a slew of famous alumni, like Brendan Morrison (Mich., 97), Jordan Leopold (Minn., 02), and Dany Heatley (Wisc., 01), who have cemented themselves as solid NHL players. But following the 18th install- ment of the College Hockey Showcase this weekend, the tra- dition will cease. Both the Wolverines and Michigan State - the fourth team included in the showcase - will head on the road this weekend to face the Badgers (6-6-2) and 15th-ranked Golden Gophers (7-4-1). "I think all of the programs involved have a strong tradition and history of being - you could say elite level or borderline elite level programs," Berenson said. "They're not just building or emerging schools. The fact that they're Big Ten schools gives them some added credibility and just seems to add something extra. "I know our fans love to see a Big Ten matchup, and I think our players do too." Berenson said that there's "no specific agreement" to face both Wisconsin and Minnesota in the future, but that "there's a sen- timent among three of the four coaches that we should continue playing." According to Berenson, Wis- consin is indifferent to continu- ing the tradition. As these are the Wolverines' only contests against Western College Hockey Association teams, Michigan hopes to grab two wins to improve its position in the Pairwise Rankings - a formula used to determine the field of 16 in the NCAA Tourna- ment. For the eighth-ranked Wol- verines (7-2-1-0 CCHA, 8-3-3 overall), Berenson sees these games as early benchmark con- tests. Berenson also cited a prefer- ence for being on the road for these Thanksgiving-weekend matchups, saying his team is generally "more focused" away from Ann Arbor. "Sometimes when we're home, we're kind of half full of turkey and half ready to play," Berenson joked. Michigan's nine seniors hold a 3-0 record against the Golden Gophers and 2-1 mark against the Badgers in the showcase. The Wolverines grabbed a home-series sweep in the show- case last year in what Berenson called "the team's best weekend in the first half" of the season. And regardless of where the team currently stands in the CCHA - the Wolverines sit in second place, one point behind Notre Dame - senior forward Matt Rust knows that two games against two "powerhouses" could springboard a team that is trying to secure its first national title since 1998. "It was definitely big for us last year with the way the sea- son was going and everything," Rust said. "This year, it still car- ries the same importance. It's big at the end of the year, and it's big to keep our winning streak going." Syracuse The ninth-ranked orange have an unblemished record in 2010 and are expected to do great things this season. But the sto- ried team may not be as good as its hype suggests. In fact, Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim said this year's squad is the most overrated Syracuse team he has coached in his 34 years with the orange. The team struggled against a William and Mary team that hasn't won any of its three games this season. The Orange snuck out of that game by making free throws at the end after shooting a miserable 22 percent from three- point range and 37 percent from the field. The Orange (4-0) beat Detroit Mercy 66-55, but the Titans kept it within two points until the final minutes of the game. Against Detroit, Syracuse shot 23 percent from three-point range and 36 percent from the field. Distance shooting is clearly not Syracuse's forte. In the post, how- ever, 275-pound, seven-foot fresh- man center Fab Melo is expected to have a big impact this season, though he has averaged just two points per game. Michigan coach John Beilein has a 0-8 record against Boe- heim. But considering Syracuse's struggles, the Wolverines might be able to pull off an upset. This season, the orange's shots simply aren't falling and their games have been too close for Boeheim to con- fidently say that he has a national championship-caliber team. Georgia Tech Georgia Tech obliterated the Wolverines 99-68 the last time they met in the 2004 ACC/Big Ten Challenge. The Yellow Jackets (3-1) hold a 4-3 all-time edge over Michigan. Junior guard Imam Shumpert, the Yellow Jackets' top scorer, averages 15 points per game this year. The 6-foot-5 guard plays big- ger than his size and resembles Michigan sophomore guard Dari- us Morris in the way that he takes advantage of smaller guards who defend him. In Georgia Tech's four games this year, Shumpert has had 10 steals, good for second in the ACC. Daniel Miller complements Shumpert in the post. Michigan may have trouble matching up with the 6-foot-11 redshirt fresh- man, who had a season-high 10 points in the Yellow Jackets' 78-51 win over Albany in the regional round of the Legends Classic last weekend. Georgia Tech's lone loss came courtesy of Kennesaw State when the Yellow Jackets shot just 35 percent from the field and allowed the owls to spread the ball very effectively - five players tallied double digits in that contest. If Michigan redshirt freshman forward Jordan Morgan has as big a presence in the post as he did in the Wolverines' first three games, Georgia Tech may struggle to defend him. That would open things up around the perimeter for Michi- gan. UTEP If Michigan plays the Miners (4-1) in the second round, there may be some conflict in the Hard- away family. Freshman guard Tim Hardaway Jr.'s father and ex-NBA pro Tim Hardaway Sr. will have to choose between his son's school and his own alma mater. "He's going be rooting for me," HardawayJr. said. "No question. I'm going to be excited if we play them. "That's one of the reasons my dad is coming out there, to see his old college play." UTEP's one loss came against Pacific, 66-61, after the Tigers col- lected 11 offensive rebounds lead- ing to a lot of second-chance points. Senior guard Randy Culpepper - 2009-10 Conference USA MVP - has scored more than 13 points in every game this season. The Miners floor general has a nose for the open man. UTEP's starting lineup can score from almost anywhere on the court. At least four players have scored in double digits in three of the Miners' five games this year. The keys to winning this game for the Wolverines will be to play aggressive defense and prevent UTEP from spreadingthe ball with Culpepper. LOG ON TO MICHIGANDAILY.COM For live, interactive coverage of the Wolverines' games in Atlantic City this weekend.