2B - Thursday, October 28, 2010 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com JudgingA Book By Its Cover Why read a single page when the cover tells the whole story? EPISODE REVIEW For the past few seasons, it seems that "Weeds" has gone from origi- nal storylines to plots that are just plain crazy. In its Weeds most recent episode, which takes place "Dearborn-Again" in Dearborn, Showtime Michigan, this craziness has reached a point of no return. The main source of this madness comes from the over-the-top nar- rative that tries too hard to push the limits that the show already has pushed many times before. The Botwin family started off as a middle-class family whose mom sold drugs to maintain their com- fortable lifestyle - a unique twist on the idealized middle-Ameri- can family. But now, the family is on the run from Nancy's (Mary Louise-Parker) drug-lord ex-hus- band, with whom she had a child, because her other son Shane (Alex- ander Gould) killed someone in his posse. This has led them to Nancy's hometown of Dearborn in order to procure passports so they can flee the country. Nancy has done a complete 180 from the likeable and relatable mom who just wanted to make sure her kids were happy to a manic, self-loathing drug dealer no one can stand. To make matters worse, the set doesn't even attempt to look like anything resembling Dearborn. There are palm trees everywhere and it seems to be sunny the entire time, just like Los Angeles. The only thing that's supposed to separate L.A. from Dearborn is the abun- dance of stereotypical Middle East- ern people. Plus, the offensive jokes about Muslims aren't even funny. "Weeds" makes it seem like every0 single Muslim in Dearborn is a con- niving thief. Looks like the offensive jokes were all the "shocking" mate- rial the program could come up with this time. -LINDSAYHURD TRAILER REVIEW Flynn Meaney msay be new to the teen novel scene, but he's read his "Twilight" books. And Edwin Mullen, the heart-shaped protago- i:st of Meaney's bestselling vamp- romance "Bloodthirsty," may be new to the lonely town of Phorx, but he has also read his "T wilight" books. And so, when the beautiful but aloof Ella appears in his biol- ogy class one day, Edwin knows all the right moves. After a quick trip to the local Spirit store, our hero gets into the groove with a ness set of pointy canines, a face fill of porcelain- tinted foundation and some glitter to apply when the sun comes out, And before you can say "rip-off," Edwin is the newest and toothiest heartthrob in Phorx, effortlessly winningsover Ella as well as hordes of young readers everywhere. But how to keep up the fagade of being a super-human sex sym- bol when you've a way-too-curious moody girlfriend poking around? Mullen is good of heart and true of blood, but he soon finds out it's hard to fake extreme speed and agility, and it gets tough for him to muster map the strength to resist Ella's advances because of his sup- posed vampiric urge to bite - the poor guy only wants to get laid. What to do? Edwin's back hurts from carrying Ella up the sides of trees, but he can't give up his newfound popularity or his true love. Will Edwin tell Ella the truth about his identity? Will she still be with him, even knowing he's not a real vampire? Behind the heart- shaped fanged smiley face lies the answer. - -SH ARON JACOBS Bieber Fever will never die, people. Never. Die. This pre- pubescent demon spawn :( ( ( ( ( is unstoppable. He's a media- Never Say saturation Never monster hell- bent on world Waster Bros. domination. And just in time for Hallow- een, the darkest fiery pits of the underworld have unleashed a trailer for the unholy documen- tary monstrosity known to mere mortals as "Never Say Never," in terrible, expensive 3-D. What more can be said about this upcoming "film," whose prophecy was foretold by sooth- sayers hundreds of years ago? How must we convince the unsuspecting public to snap up their torches and pitchforks and take to the streets, mob-of- angry-villagers style? Who will be entertained by 90 minutes of Bieberized home videos inter- spliced with cult-brainwashing concert footage and interviews 4 GET YOUR SENIOR PORTRAIT TAKEN Monday 10/25 - Friday 10/29 in the Sophia B. Jones room of the Michigan Union The sitting fee is just1S! This price includes your portraitfeatured in the 2011 Michignensian Yearbook Sign up online by visiting www.OurYear.com and entering School Code: 87156 Phone 734.418.4115 ext. 247 E-mail ensian.uma)umich.edu C Bring in this ad and receive $2 off the sitting fee. ?OFFER Michiganensian YEARBOOK with fawning teenage girls? Why Almighty Hand of Usher? mond mines. does this trailer imply that there Justin Bieber will enslave your Look at what you all have was somehow a large amount youth and murder your pets. wrought upon humankind. Look of hardship for His Bieberness When he elects himself president into his dreamy 3-D eyes, and to overcome, when in truth he of the world, he will command us weep for all eternity. was prenatally blessed by the to toil for long hours in his dia- -ANDREWLAPIN Halloween Staff Picks * "NEAR DARK" Vampires, despite all recent pop-culture evidence to the contrary, don't suck. Matter of fact, they're pretty damn freaky when handled in the right way. Take Kathryn Bigelow's * 1987 cult classic, in which bloodsuckers trek across the American southwest. No pretty- boy whining here: This vamp clan would prefer to knife up their prey before feasting on the sweet nectar of someone else's flesh. Ideally watched, you guessed it, near dark. * "THE TWILIGHT ZONE" There's never a better time than Halloween to revert back into the Golden Age of television with Rod Serling's "The Twilight Zone." The eerie sci-fi series showcases the best TV writ- ing of the decade and expertly flirts with the line between truly horrifying and hilariously cheesy. Time travel, aliens, monsters and Serling's ever-creepy voice will make for an epic Halloween weekend TV marathon. * "THRILLER" Well, duh. "Thriller" is bound up in Halloween just as "Jingle Bells" is to Christmas; something about the track's creaking doors, howling wolves and weird Vincent Price narration cap- tures the spirit of All Hallow's Eve better than all the candy in the world. Spooky theatrics notwithstanding, "Thriller" finds Michael at the apex of his game; the way he rides that indel- ible bassline is one of pop's greatest moments. "Monster Mash" should be embarrassed. COURTESY OF EPIC * "SWEENEY TODD" (THE MUSICAL) Before Johnny Depp ever picked up his silver razors, "Sweeney Todd" took Broadway by storm - a morbid, brooding, cannibalistic storm. The titular barber's dementia dominates the stage, and the broadway production allows for an entire chorus to balladize his dark struggle for revenge. As one of the greatest works by one of Broadway's greatest minds, Stephen Sondheim, "Sweeney" is the ultimate horror musical. 0 SALEM Want to celebrate All Hallow's Eve in a totally inaccessible, pretentious and hipster-to-the- max fashion? Then check out Salem, the trendy new "witch house" band whose LP King Night earned a7.5 on Pitchfork earlier this month. The aloof ambient sounds that drift through the synths and mumbles are designed to weird you out, and rest assured you'll be shivering behind your neon shades and hugging a can of PBR for comfort.