The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com St r20 7

September 7, 2010 - 7B

THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT
It CouIdB You! illl
By John Sr'th
Today BIB Bonrito atnounc'd tha t toey wiii be
giving away fre bonritos for a yeat to 00e locky tindivid-
o'L. Deta iis ate availa ble on th eir 'ebsite btbborrito.cotm.
Times are toogh, atnd BTB is 'onvitnced that fre borr'itos
will make a great ye'ar for one customer. CM IBroot leg-
wool :ays, "it sore beats the 'Sub S'andwic-h Diet.Gt a'
little ground beef, queso, :teak, beits, maybe some ohipis
and sals. *Now that's the reat deal, Jared!"
BIB is a'so coupling the FREEh BURRIT[OS
'OR A YEAR daw'itg with a hi rrito e'ating 'ontest ti
be hell on the s'me day. Nt will be a day that lives on
in bonrito legend. They are ac'cepting cotasta nt sigi tips
cunrently 01 heir we-bait.
Tb' annoon'ement of the free bonito draw-
ing drew rave reviews: 'nd 'x 'iteme nt fronm cu'rent UM
students, but at least ane tuntus awas pe'rturbed. "Why
couldn't they do this 'hen I was a stude'nt! So unfair!
whined outgoing UM Se nior Lanm'y Lanmerson.
One thing is for sore: If you're eating BT[B oetey
day your year is guaranteedi to be a sue sa. You 'an
enter the contest at any BTB lo'cation. Chec'k out www
btbbort'ito. 'om far tmore info! The drawvtng awill b' heold
mid-September. See FREE BUR RITOS, Page 3 BSTB Emptoee a'nnnuncs 5h chanc in in ifre tinritas tic a year yetray at the tigtit anticipated pesis conference.

NBA" DROPS GATORADE*
AND PICKS UP
BTB
By Ghost Writer
David Sternson announced today the NBA 
is dropping longtime sponsor Gatorade" as the official
refreshment of the NBA, and instead is going with up
and coming BTB Queso. In a prepared statement re-
leased by the league Sternson said, "Truthfully, Gato-
rade* was offering us more money, but the player's and
owner's just prefer Queso!"
BTB Queso has been spotted on the sidelines of
games since BTB intoduced the melty cheese dip at
it's Cantina location 8 months ago. But it hadn't really
taken hold until the NBA* Finals, when Lakers play-

er's dumped Queso on coach Phil Jackson, rather than
the traditional Gatorade* After that point players, both
professional and amateur, have been seen chugging
queso during games as a thirst quencher. Even runners
are getting into the action, preferring spectators to hold
cups of queso on the sidelines instead of water.
The decision by the NBA* is a niajor blow to Ga-
torade*, who has long held the position as the drink
of choice of the major sports leagues. Gatorade' ad-
mits to being blindsided. "We thought that Powerade'
had the best chance of taking our sponsorship spot, not
a cheese dip from an Ann Arbor based Burrito place!
We've done tests! Queso doesn't even have electro-
lytes!"
Although Queso does not have electrolytes,
word from the BTI B Burrito camp is that is has fresh
red., green, and jalapeno peppers, along with 3 kinds of
cheese and is made fresh daily. For these reasons, GM
Brent lgwood is not suiprised by Queso's acceptance
in the mainstream. "We knew it would catch on eventu-
ally" See QUESO, Page 6

CONFUSION
ENDS IN JOYOUS REUNION
By Jane Doe
BTB's giant steak burrito fits perfectly in a
car seat, just ask Tom Smith. At 8:02pm on Friday,
Smith was seen carrying a giant burrito out of B'B
Burrito on State St. ie allegedly cradled the burrito
in his aims as he walked to his car. He proceeded to
open the back door of the vehicle to place the burrito
in a car seat, all the while speaking baby-talk to the
giant burrito.
Bystanders watched in confusion as Smith
buckled the bUtrito into the seat, shut the door,
jumped in the driver seat and drove off. "He seemed
to be distracted, he was talking into his phone excit-
edly how much he loves BTB," says Joey Mesik, a
student at IJniversity of Michigan. Mesik said sur-
rounding bystanders exchanged perplexed glances as
they heard Smith exclaim loudly into the phone "I
just can't get enough of this place!" while buckling
the burrito safely in the car seat.
"I jst can't,
get enoughC of
th is place'."

4
EGEND

According to Patron
By Anonymous

80's Night on Tuesdays to our dance cub like week-
ends Thursday Saturday, the Cattina is hands down
the best place to party. We recently expanded our i-
in no in'ier silctio~i n-aothei innnnt bin,, ior

AR a fit,'e.imc, VTR 'e

tPNmn'nweinfmi'

BTB BUCK SURPASSES
By Joe Sihmo

According to a statement released from Federal Re-
served, the BTB Buck is now the most valuable curren-
cy iii the world. "It's no surprise," says the Reseirved,
"With last month's introduction of queso and this week's
launch of ground beef it was only a matter of time un-
til this happened. Throw in the amazing artwork on the

currency and new versions annually, you've got your-
self a currency that will stand the test of time." Secre-
tary of the BTB Treasury Brent Hegwood has continued
to make the right moves to solidify the BTB Buck as a
force to be reckoned with. Cantina day manager Logan
Saxby recently See BTB BUCK, Page 10