0 0 0. 0 8B The Statement // Wednesday, April 14, 2010 PERSONALSTATEMENT A LESSON FOUR YEARS IN TI BYALLIE WHITE have always been relatively sake of full disclosure, I'll admit that behind the curve when it comes by the time I had my first real kiss, to milestones in life. most of my peers were several bases Obviously, I blame my parents for ahead of me. I reached legal drink- this abnormality. Born in September, ing age many agonizing months after they had the choice of making me the nearly all of my classmates. And at oldest kid or the youngest in my grade, 21, I am just now getting my 12-year and wanting to believe their firstborn molars. was exceptionally gifted, pushed me So while I never particularly into preschool early, forever cement- enjoyed always being a step behind ing my status as the token "young one." my peers, I accepted it as a simple fact I struggled through a year and half of life and settled into the comfort of bar and bat mitzvahs before it was of knowing I'd always be late to the my turn on the bema. The appeal of game. boy bands didn't hit me until they When I got to college, I thought were on their way out. I was the last that maybe I would finally be able to one to get a driver's license and spent catch up - or at least speed up - to my junior year of high school bum- the pace set by the masses. ming rides to avoid the bus. For the I joined a few clubs, rushed a soror- HKbubble. Trying something new meant H E lv M A KiN G getting a different dressing on the same salad I ordered at the restau- rant Iate at all the time. I knew what I liked and I stuck with it. Three years later, I was still coast- ing along, doing what I'd been doing since freshman year with the same people I'd been doing it with in the same places as always. The routine of ity, pregamed on football Saturdays, my freshman, sophomore and junior hung out with the kids on my floor, years was beginning to lose some of talked shit about my GSIs, drank crap- its former luster. py beer and pulled all nighters. By all I jokingly referred to what was accounts, I was on par with the rest of afflicting me as ennui - a feeling of my class, on track to becoming a stan- inexplicable listlessness - but the more I said it, the less "There was no flash of light, funny it got. Even a brief stint abroad no epiphany or revelatory during winter 2009 couldn't pull me out of moment, but I realized some- the funk I'd fallen into. I still loved my friends thing had to change..." and the University, but the summer before my dard college student. senior year found me sitting opposite And despite the repetitiveness of a psychologist once a week, trying to my actions, I was completely content figure out what was bugging me. in my consistent and homogenous After several weeks and several payments, the problem was exposed as a case of the doldrums. I was sad about my impending graduation. I worried about my prospects after college. I wondered if my relation- ships would be the same when every- book one returned to Ann Arbor. I was stuck in a serious rut that t d was a result of minimal variation in it ha rd . my habits and an inherent fear to move outside of my comfort zone. There was no flash of light, no is , e a sy. epiphany or revelatory moment, but WU J I realized something had to change if I was going to truly embrace my last year on campus. In keeping with the theme of this issue, I'll say that my senior year bucket list came to con- sist of one major goal: try something completely new. Enter The Michigan Daily. Traditionally, students get involved with the paper earlier in their college careers rather than later, work their asses off in the name of editorial freedom through the first half of their senior year and then (caffeine + 8 key nutrientS take a much-needed break during their final semester. Olin e + choline) Keeping with my own personal tradition, I was late to this phenom- enon. So now, rather than spending my weeknights drinking with the rest of the senior class, I'm in the news- ' inw 'rroom, one of only a handful of sec- . wa er ond-semester seniors still on staff. Now bear with me for a moment as I am a senior and we tend to get sen- timental. I won't get into specifics or cheesy, emotional details, but I will say this about my time at the Daily: what began as a whim and a group of people who were merely acquaintanc- es quickly evolved into a deep respect for the tradition of the paper and true friends. You know a relationship is getting serious when the realization hits that you talkto your editors more than your own parents. But despite the disagree- ments over headlines, page layouts, sentence structure and where we'd eat dinner, my colleagues in the newsroom became my extended family. Most are younger than me and at first I was naturally inclined to think I knew better. But I quickly learned to shut up and listen. I now respect this group of amazing people more than I think I could ever effectively convey to them. They may be just a bunch of col- lege students with access to a printing press, but they never cease to amaze me with their dedication, brilliance and capacity for simultaneous profes- sionalism and compassion. So now that my time at the Daily is officially over and I realize what a truly incredible and influential part of my life it has been, I could easily bemoan my late start. But rather than look back and lament "coulda, woul- da, shoulda," I choose to embrace the experience I've had. This maybe mypersonal statement, my own experience at Michigan, but the gist of what I'm tryingto say is not unique to only me. I am positive I am not the only person on this campus who has experienced the phenom- enon of despondency. Looking back at my seemingly contended fresh- man self, I am sad for that girl and for everyone who doesn't embrace new opportunities when given the chance or seek an experience other than what they're used to. We so often hear people say, "col- lege is the only time in your life you can do this" or, "once you're in the real world, that won't be acceptable." While I agree to some extent - streak- ing through the quad probablyisn't OK when you're married with kids - it's never reallytoo late. Being ahead of the curve is overrated.E - Allie White is an LSA senior and The Statement's Deputy Editor. rA 11 X/ ^K FIN I DA LIILY N FACEBOOK