6B Wednesday, April
We6dnesday, Apri7,2010 // The Statement 3B
news in review
Five of the most talked-about stories of the week, ranked in ascending order of actual importance
After years of disappointing Fans of major league baseball, Last Saturday saw a rash of suspi- A 7.2 magnitude earthquake The U.S
performances and literal dropped rejoice - April 4 marked opening cious fires in areas of off-campus hit Southern California at the a city in
balls, Duke finally won another day for the 2010 MLB season. There student housing around Ann U.S.-Mexico border last Sunday attacke
NCAA championship on Monday were upsets, drama and replay- Arbor. A house fire on State Street afternoon. According to the U.S. lamists
night. Congrats, Blue Devils, but worthy moments galore. MLB op- resulted in the death of 22-year- Geological Survey, this was the for Paki
you can't help but feel bad for lil' ponents rejoice as well - one game old Eastern Michigan University largest quake to affect the area in that his
old Butler. down means lust 161 left to go! student Renden LeMasters. 18 years. the atta
S. consulate in Peshawar -
northwest Pakistan - was
d by a group of militant Is-
on Monday. A spokesman
stan's Taliban told Reuters
group was responsible for
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S1 23 !34l 6 7 8 9i10
quotes of the week on the cheap
"Suggested usage options (for the Plenta) include popcorn Graduate without going broke
receptacle, rain hat, perennial planter, lampshade or yoga
block. The Micra also serves as a convenient milk dish for kit-
tens, soft boiled egg cup or paper clip holder."
An April1 statement on STARBUCKS.COM explaining the introduction of two new cup ,
sizes - the 128 oz Plenta and 2 oz Micra - in response to customers' requests for more size
options. The cups were part of an elaborate April Fool's joke.
"Look at those dead bastards. Nice."
AN AMERICAN ARMY PILOT who flew one of two U.S. Apache helicopters during a 2007
attack on 12 unarmed civilians in Baghdad. The footage was released via WikiLeak.
"We will do our best to be the Harvard for our industry."
Dean of Hamburger University, SUSANNA LI, on her high hopes for the school.
Based in Shanghai, the school is the first McDonald's Hamburger University in ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE EBERTS
China and will help the company train new managers to accomodate their pro-
posed franchise expansion in the country. veryone has fully embraced the glorious weather we've experienced lately. Freshmen
and sophomores populate Palmer Field with Frisbees. Juniors grip red Solo cups as music
bumps from outdoor speakers. Even professors and GSIs hold class on the Diag. But for
the rules seniors, warm temperatures bring only thoughts of graduation. After four years of living on a
student's budget, why not finish strong and graduate on the cheap?
First and foremost - and several years late - avoid student loans. You don't want to think
No. 263: No. 264: No. 265: about the thousands of dollars you'll owe for the next 20 years as you chow down on your cel-
Please refrain from For an afternoon of Landlords can't cor- ebratory post-graduation meal.
There's no need to spend $50 on a cap and gown you'll only wear once. Try to find the whole
whispering in class day-drinking, beer plain if you clog your ensemble at a thrift store. But please, spring for dry cleaning.
about all the places on and wine are the only toilet on account of Ignore the University's very strict, very public announcements regarding the consequences
you'll face if you try to scalp graduation tickets. Obama at commencement - ain't nothing more
campus you and your options. Stay away Passover and massive exciting, or lucrative, than that.
boyfriend plan to "do it." from the hard stuff. matzoh intake. Have advice for life on the cheap? Let us know E-mail email@example.com.
by the numbers COURTESY OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Millions of census workers will travel across Number of villages the census work- Billions of rupees - or $1.2 billion
India in an attempt to complete a national data- ers will visit throughout the country. - the census will cost the Indian
base of the country's one billion inhabitants. government.