The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 5 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 5 The endless chain of reality TV losers And then villainess Lola McStinkyfarts was finally brought to justice. Horror gon insan 'The Crazies' covers all the often-missed bases with genuine tension By NICK COSTON Daily Arts Writer Contemporary horror is a cesspool. Its entrants are neither scary nor enter- taining nor remotely organized. So here's something weird: "The Crazies" is all of those The CrazieS things. Yeah, it's deriva- tive and, yeah, the sec- At Quality 16 and half is too reliant and Showcase upon jack-in-the-box Overture spooks, but let's not get too greedy here. This is a cohesive, plot-driven, well acted horror film. A pitchfork through the chest has never been such a pleasant surprise. A remake of George Romero's 1973 film of the same name, "The Crazies" takes place in Ogden Marsh, Iowa, where David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant, "Live Free or Die Hard") is the town sheriff and his wife Judy (Radha Mitchell, "Silent Hill") is the town doctor and that crazy man on the high school baseball field with the shot- gun is - uh oh. Residents of the peaceful little town begin behaving strangely and violently, and David has to protect his pregnant wife and stately sheriff mus- tache from their growing lunacy. The film works the farmers-gone-psy- cho angle best in the beginning, when neither David nor Judy has a clue what the hell is going on with their neighbors. Olyphant and Mitchell, veterans of the crappy horror circuit, have mastered con- fusion and determination, the two neces- sary faces for actors working in the genre. Joining them on their Corn Nuts survival quest is David's deputy Russell, played with an admirably uncertain state of san- ity and a genuine hick accent by England's Joe Anderson ("Amelia"). The trio sets itself apart from standard horror pro- tagonists: they're not young or hip or sexy or hedonistic, and the audience's rooting interest in their endurance is strength- ened because of it. But after a rough encounter with a big steaming plate of plot device, both the characters and the audience have a little too much information to work with and the film makes an unfortunate switch from unease and tension to good old shock value. Our ragtag group of plucky survivors makes its way through a series of gory set pieces in such a resolute state that it's hard to fear for their survival even when it's not hard to jump at the surprises. And the jumps are great. "The Crazies" deliberately avoids the cheeseball dream sequences and instead uses dramatic irony to full effect. The pitchfork through the chest doesn't come out of nowhere; you see it scraping along the floor, mov- ing from body to body, and there's noth- ing the characters or the audience can do about it. Waiting for the killer blow is far more intense and makes abetter film than simply jamming a knife into someone's head from off-screen just because no one was expecting it. Even those who haven't felt forced to scour the international market for good horror probably remember 2002's "28 Days Later." Like "The Crazies," "28 Days Later" focuses on a small group of survi- vors trying to make sense of the chaos around them and struggling to retain a semblance of humanity in a frothing sea of zombie inhumanity. The film was lauded for its examination of what it means, exactly, to be human in the first place. But audiences just looking for zom- bie scares might have been bored by its deliberate pace. Filmmaker Kevin Smith has an anec- dote that's now a YouTube mainstay about his pitch meeting for a Superman movie with wacky Hollywood produc- er Jon Peters. Smith's script was good, Peters told him, but it needed more action beats, one every ten pages or so. Super- man needs to fight some polar bears here. He needs a gay robot sidekick here. And he has to fight a giant spider in the third act. "The Crazies" is a gutted ver- sion of "28 Days Later" with a truckload of leftover Jon Peters Action Beats. It's the perfect film for anyone who doesn't want morality sauce getting on his zom- bie platter. "The Crazies" is a treat for American horror fans. Though it might be formu- laic, redundant and rehashed, it's still a far greater effort to compose a real film - not just a sequence of teens getting mur- dered - than most of the garbage that floats through modern horror cinema. You know that slew of reality pro- gramming that comes from the incredibly specific and narrow source of other reality programming? I'm talking about televi- sion in the vein "Flavor of Love," "I Love New York" and "Real Chance of Love." There are tons of reality shows like this that regurgitate4 their loudest, most obnoxious competitors whom you love to hate CAROLYN and hate to love and KLARECKI put them in their own series, rinse and repeat. And it's pretty widely agreed upon that these shows are crap. With the advent of reality TV, we were introduced to the idea that anyone could be a star. What has really come to pass, though, is that anyone can be a star if that person is loud, aggressive, willing to fall instantly and madly in love with an ex- rapper, can't handle rejection and is willing to display all of that crazy on national tele- vision. And if everyone's expectations of crazy are exceeded, then these people can make their stardom last longer than a sea- son when they get a whole new show just to highlight the madness. And this brings us to the realization to which we all came after the premiere of"I Love New York": Justbecause anyone can have a TV show doesn't mean everyone should. Still, people watch these shows. This programming must be in high demand considering the way these melodramatic pseudo-divas are handed TV shows left and right. And despite the sermons from my higher-brow friends stating otherwise, I don't think there's much wrong with watching these shows. Following the trajectory of this new brand of celebrity is really quite fascinat- ing. It doesn't even require watching the show every week. All you need to do is see one episode partway through the season and keep up with the episode promos and you'll know that Bret Michaels is picking between Jes and Heather. The phenomenon of former reality con- testants getting their own show on which more contestants can compete not only for some grandiose prize, but also the chance to also get their own show, is fairly recent in the history of TV. We can see the pro- gression of television before our eyes in a shorter time span than ever before. The path to fame of these types of reality show stars displays a little slice of modern Ameri- can culture, albeit a rather tacky slice. These shows have their own special gene- alogy - a family tree linking Megan Haus- erman to her dysfunctional family members "Beauty and the Geek," "Rock of Love," "Rock of Love: Charm School" and the short-lived "Megan Wants a Millionaire." Just to demonstrate how fascinating this style of TV is, I'll illustrate the prime example, courtesy of only the highest qual- ity of VHl programming. You might want to make a flowchart to follow this one. If you know who Flava Flav is, then you probably know he brought about the fame of Tiffany Pollard, better known as "New York." You might not have known that the rapper fell back into the spotlight with an appearance on "The Surreal Life" where he met and dated Brigitte Nielsen. They received their own show "Strange Love," where she dumped him at the end of the season. So he got his own show "Flavor of Love." And that's just where the mess begins. The loud and boisterous Tiffany "New York" Pollard was the first runner-up on the first season of "Flavor of Love." Though she didn't'take her rejection well, she also mended her broken heart with a mess of her own shows including multiple seasons of "I Love New York," "New York Goes to Hollywood" and "New York Goes to Work." "I Love New York" gave birth to the So lowbrow you can't help but watch. fame-monster Kamal Givens. Givens (dubbed "Chance" by Pollard) competed for her love and followed the rejection trend after his loss with an appearance on "I Love Money" and by starting his own love-seekingshow ("Real Chance of Love") with his brother and fellow competitor for Pollard's affections, "Real." So in summary, Flava Flav was turned down, got his own show, turned down "New York," who then got her own show so she could turn down "Chance"'and "Real" who then got their own show. Yes, this is a ridiculous and probably unwarranted way to achieve fame, but it's also fascinating and just as entertaining (if not more entertaining) than the shows themselves. Maybe I'm still attached to the fascination that anyone - including myself - could become famous through reality TV. After all, Tiffany Pollard and Kamal Giv- ens were regular people at one time before their transformation into "New York" and "Chance." It's harmless to follow reality spin-offs - to smirk at their absurdity and to treat them as the novelties they are. They're admittedly lowbrow, but that's all they're supposed tobe. Klarecki is loud, aggressive and willing to fall instantly and madly in love. E-mail her at cklareck@umich.edu. Parental disapproval The Avett Brothers' ascension By JAMIE BLOCK ManagingArts Editor The label "family show" is used nowa- days to tell the audience ashow is friend- ly for all audiences, but NBC's new series "Parenthood" wants to turn family into Parenthood a standalone genre. With as many parts Tuesdays drama as comedy, none at 10 p.m. of which are particu- NBC larly original, "Parent- hood" sinks into pure family schmaltz as all the other emo- tional stimuli cancel each other out. "Parenthood" is obvious if nothing else, both for the writers and the audi- ence. After the first few staple plotlines of the family saga are revealed, the rest fall neatly into line. A rebellious teen daughter dating a shirtless rocker seg- ues seamlessly into a heartfelt utterance of "It wasn't my weed." A dating mother predictably gets caught in a compromis- ing position by her wayward son, who then runs off. The men are macho and NBC follows the family formula too closely. want the children to excel at sports. The women are gossipy, mock the men and claim emotional high ground. But then there's Max, the youngest male of the Braverman clan. At only 12 years old, actor Max Burkholder ("Fam- ily Guy") brings something pure and real to the Max Braverman character. He has an awkward air about him; he is always slightly aloof, somewhat confused but motivated by the best of intentions. The subtly just-over-the-line abnormali- ties Burkholder puts into the character are all the more impressive when it is revealed that Max has Asperger syn- drome. It's just a shame that the show also used several less subtle hints, ruin- ing the moment. Max's parents also shine as the best adult actors in the cast. Peter Krause ("Six Feet Under") and Monica Potter ("Boston Legal") serve as beacons of realism among caricatures. Not moti- vated by finding a man or being the favorite parent, Krause and Potter focus solely on the fate of Max. They work through his problems, trying to find a way to make him happy when it seems like nothing is working. Their struggle with making a good life for their son and coming to terms with his condition is the only plotline among the barrage of subplots begun in the pilot that stands above pettiness. And it stands extremely far above. And this isn't just because of the serious subject or the strong acting; it's because it epitomizes what a show called "Parenthood" should be about. Before we can delve into the perils of dating with kids or struggles among adult sib- lings giving each other unwanted love and parenting advice, we need to really see the pure love of a parent. In one scene, the four Braverman sib- lings are standing around, joking about the sexploits of the ever-annoying Sarah Braverman (Lauren Graham, "Gilm- ore Girls") while Sarah's son is missing. Yeah, your son could be anywhere right now, but let's take a moment to joke about a fling you had with an ex-boyfriend while your sister talks about how good of a lawyer she is. Nobody even seems concerned that her son has disappeared until they all receive a phone call saying where he is. Were they even planning on lookingfor him? A show aboutcparenting does not work if all the focus is put on the adults, and only Max, both as an actor and a char- acter, is strong enough to save the show. As "Parenthood" progresses, everyone should take some time to remember that in the lives of parents, and in the lives of shows about parents, one thing should matter above all else: making a good life for your children. By MIKE KUNTZ topped many year-end music Daily Music Editor lists, winning over fans and critics with its organic yet con- The Avett Brothers are con- temporary take on Southern ventional folk musicians like bluegrass and folk. The band Jackson Pole now counts among its many lack was a TheAv accolades Album of the Year conventional (2009) from Paste Magazine, a painter. The Brothers Best New Artist tag from Roll- band, like Pol-T h ing Stone and a feature on the lack, turns Tonghtat famed music institution "Austin tradition on its 7:30 p.m. City Limits." head, choosing Michigan Theater After a well deserved break, bits and pieces Tickets from $26 the band was all too eager to get for themselves back on the road and greet the before moving hype by performing - a return forward into the wild unknown. to how the Avetts secured their The Avetts' brand of folk loyal following throughout the music - a genre-defying hodge- U.S. over the past few years. podge of punk, bluegrass and "It's all exciting right now, rock'n'roll influences - is the because this is our first day of kind that breaks 32 strings in the tour," Kwon said. "But I'm a night and leaves blood on the sure you could ask me in a cou- banjo. They attack their songs ple weeks and I'll be like, 'Get with a passion and fury more me off of this road!"' akin to a punk show at CBGB Despite its glorification in circa 1978 than a hippie-dippy rock'n'roll lore, the road, as gathering of picnic blanketers. any touring musician will tell In light of the band's stop at you, isn't without its share of the Michigan Theater, the Daily gaffes and grease stains. Driv- recently spoke with the Avetts' ing through Appalachian Ohio cellist, Joe Kwon, about the through the night, before their band's tour, its growing fanbase first show, the Avetts had a pret- and the role of college students ty close call themselves. within the music industry. Hav- "As soon as we pulled out ing just soundchecked for its set of the mountainous area we at Ohio University's Templeton- got onto a straightaway and Blackburn Alumni Memorial blew one of our tires," Kwon Auditorium, the first stop on explained. Having just missed their spring and summer tour, beingstranded in the mountains the band was admittedly shak- - avoiding what might have ing off some rust. been one of the worst possible "We were working on some omens to start a tour - Kwon songs and just making sure was ready to see the bright side. we remembered them," Kwon Chalk it up to beginning-of-the- said, speaking from the Athens, tour optimism, he said. Ohio auditorium. Kwon joined "It's like a total blessing brothers Seth and Scott Avett because if we had blown the tire to record 2007's Emotionalism, in the middle of the mountains and has been with the group it would have been deadly," ever since. Kwon said, referencingthe hair- The band's acclaimed 2009 pin turns and carved-out roads release I And Love And You skirting the Appalachian moun- tainsid Befi as ap Southe didn't instead rest of "I'm these I've ni Kwon excited becaus before Wit lined u e. But even with all the new- tting the band's image found hype, Kwon and the band o-guts-no-glory gang of are ever conscious of the role rn folk rebels, Kwon college students play in devel- dwell on the mishap, oping momentum for newer d looking forward to the acts - the Avetts' upcoming the tour, tour includes stops in Minne- really excited about apolis, Minn. and Boulder, Col. Europe dates, because in addition to Athens, Ga. and ever been there before," Ann Arbor. The band will also said. "I'm also really be playing Coachella and Bonn- d about going to Australia, aroo, summer festivals known e I've never been there for attracting large crowds of either!" younger listeners. h international dates "I remember what it was like ip as far as Oslo, Norway in college, tryingto find the next new band - you seek it out," Kwon said. "That's the age kids really seek out different music, Bringing a new music. With help from the Internet hype machine and endless praise f folk to the from critics worldwide, Kwon contends college-aged students M ichigan. are crucial in bringing attention to artists that fall left of the dial. "And they're gonna know about small bands from North rdney, Australia, it's easy Carolina like us," he added, why Kwon is so enthu- laughing. In just a few years, The Presented by The Ark, The Brothers went from whis- Avett Brothers will be perform- about critics' darlings ing at the Michigan Theater tull-fledged international tonight at 7:30 p.m., with The g machine. Low Anthem supporting. u of and Sy to see siastic Avett I pered- to a f tourin The Avett Brothers' /AndLove And You topped many year-end lists.