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Weneda, ebury24 -210/ Te taemn

news in review

Five of the most talked-about stories of the week, ranked in ascending order of actual importance

What's happening?

Latest:;- .< x .. .n ta Y us m yuloe utdrpe he ffatM o i
Home
unclerick Cruising for young ladies. 18 and over, please, but not by much...
6i mntos goaivia wttiic
NoCoverGuy Dancing @Skeeps. So hot right now.
+miutes agoviVa Sl w.tteriffi.
BlueCabVan @mustangsally God, srsly? Whatever, at least I didn't have to
deal with the drunk freshmen who got rejected from Studio.
minuts ago -i t
cabelvin @BTB_Party old burritos, or stale puke? just upped my vomit fee
to $150
cabsean @BTBParty nachos...yummm. nachos crunch, nom nom nom.
29 minurtes a iati
BTB.Party this bus smells like old burritos. now i'm craving nachos. damn
o. clean energy.
40 ninuts ago via web
mustangsally @BlueCabVan Sucka! You snooze you loose. I just dropped
them off at #Studio.
51 rnnutes ago via Twitteriffic
BlueCabVan Just got stood up by a group of 6 girls. Should never respond to
calls from Markley.
58 minutes ago via TAttie
* ~t

Tiger Woods held a press confer- Beginning in 2011, public high
ence on Friday to publicly apologize schools in eight states will allow
for his infidelity. He failed to give students to graduate after two years
details of his multiple indiscretions if they pass a number of proficiency
or a time frame for when he will tests. The program aims to reduce
return to golf. What is the mistress the remedial courses students
count up to now, anyway? would enroll in at college.

American speed skater Apollo
Ohno won his seventh career
Olympic medal on Saturday, tak-
ing the bronze in the1,000-meter
race. The medal makes Ohno the
most decorated American Winter
Olympian of all time.

A man crashed a small plane into At their monthly meeting last
IRS offices in Austin, Texas on week, the University's Board of
Thursday. The man, identified as Regents approved Philip Hanlon as
Joseph Stack, had a history of run- the next provost. Hanlon will take
ins with the IRS and posted a rant over July 1, replacing Teresa Sulli-
online earlier in the day, detailing van, who will become president of
his issues with the tax agency. the University of Virginia June 30.

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quotes of the week on the cheap
"Washington right now is broken." Saving the worldfor next to nothing
Vice President JOE BIDEN on the severe bipartisan political climate in Wash-
ington, D.C. right now.
"The evidence the FBI produced would not, I think, stand up in
court.
Representative RUSH HOLT, a New Jersey Democrat, on the Justice Department's
findings after an eight-year investigation into the 2001 anthrax attacks. Thought'
the investigation found Army scientist Bruce Ivins as the source of the deadly sub-
stance, he killed himself in 2008, ending the investigation. Even with his death, many
prominent critics do not believe the FBI would have been successful if the case were
brought to trial.
"I was positive that I won...but I saw that Evan needs a medal
more than I do. Maybe because I already have one."
Russian men's figure skater YEVGENY PLUSHENKO reacting to his.loss of the ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE EBERTS
gold medal to American Evan Lysacek. veryone wants to be a super hero. Fighting crime and saving people is rewarding and it
sure looks good on a resume. But while not all of us can rock a cape and spandex body
suit, everyone can do something - no matter how small - to positively affect the world.
the rules Start small by carpooling and using public transportation. The ozone layer will thank you.
Try sharing loads of laundry with a friend if you only have a few socks to wash. Turn the water
off when you brush your teeth. Cut your shower time by one minute. Conserve water.
No. 254: No. 255: No. 256: Recycle! You might even make a few bucks if you redeem your cans and bottles for cash
The real purpose of Offering to help pay Facebook friend prizes - thank you, Michigan.
Ditch the plastic and paper shopping bags in favor of reusable cloth ones.
the Block 'M' in the for parking when requests are never a Volunteer as much as possible. Not only will you be doing good for humanity, you'll feel great
Diag? To mark the ex- you're a passenger in good idea at 3 a.m., about yourself during and after your good deed.
Have advice for life on the cheap? Let us know. E-mail onthecheap@umich.edu.
act midpoint between the car is the polite especially after a
Skeeps and Rick's. thing to do. night of drinking. - ALLIE WHITE
by the numbers
COURTESY OFTHE NEW YORKTIMES
Number in millions of Americans New jobs needed each month to Number in millions of joblessAmericans set to
who havebeen out of work for six account for newcomers to the labor lose unemploymentby April if President Obama's
months or more as of January force, according to labor experts proposal to extend payments isn't passed