The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com KEYS From Page 5A listeners all know what she's capable of. Keys possesses an incredibly flexible voice and a clear gift for musical lyricism. It's a bummer to hear her play it so safe, with tepidly pleasant, harmless songs. But Keys's substantial talent as an art- ist keeps The Element of Freedom from degenerating into pure sentimentalism. Although the album's focus is mostly centered on relationships and break-ups, never once do the love songs sound trite, Keys should heed her own advice. cloying or obvious. If anything, Keys maintains an understatement in her songs that expressively reflects her personal demeanor. Unfortunately, sometimes the subtlety of her songs translates into an unexciting listen. , The album, a mix of forgettable pop bal- lads and the occasional epically awesome anthem, starts to pick up about halfway through its cumbersomely lengthy 16-track running order. The first half, which seems to almost entirely consist of easy-listening for the over-30 crowd, makes for unobtru- sive ambiance, but won't particularly stick or resonate with the hipper, younger set. "Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart" is just as bland as its title sounds, keeping in line with the album's flavorless first half. Monday, December 14, 2009 -7A But the album does contain the occa- sional sparkler. "Like the Sea" samples Debussy's "Arabesque #1"to terrific effect. The nostalgic, trickling piano notes pro- vide a familiar backdrop to Keys's emotive vocals - a clever, believably organic blend- ing of the old and the new. Clear album standout "Empire State of Mind (Part II)" is a refreshing alterna- tive to the first, overexposed collabora- tion with Jay-Z of the same title. There is an honesty in this track that the original lacked. Keys shines on her own in this epic, exhilarating love note to the great- est of American cities - "Concrete jungles where dreams are made of / There's noth- ing you can't do." On the other hand, Keys's collabora- tion with the Mrs. Jay-Z, Beyonc6, is not nearly as "fierce" (to borrow a term from the missus). "Put it in a Love Song" seems to lack inspiration. It's an infectious tune, but not a memorable one, despite the talent and wow-factor of Keys and Knowles. Both artists are known for their striking, unique voices, but in their collaboration, scale back to accommodate the other, which dimin- ishes the potential of the track. Although The Element of Freedom is a decent album, it lacks punch. While a few gems are sprinkled among a landscape of relatively lackluster songs, they aren't nearly precious enough to carry the weight of the album. The opening track, "The Element of Freedom," has Keys sermonizing about taking risks: "And the day came / when the risk it took / to remain tight and closed in the bud / was more painful / than the risk it took bloom." It would be nice had Keys taken her own advice on the album itself last decade or so of his career. De Niro plays Frank, an old widower trying to get in touch with his children after the pass- ing of his wife. But - as those needing to learn life lessons in forgettable holiday films often are - his kids are too busy with big-city jobs and problems to care for their poor, lonely father. Frank wanders from town to town, discovering things about his kids he never knew and maybe learning some lessons of his own. This makes for a grim, stale and downright boring journey that is foremost an exercise in cinematic incompetence. Though audiences gen- erally buy into sappy holiday films, that simply cannot happen here; so little is the film's regard for its audience's patience and common sentiment. A disjointed disaster, "Everybody's Fine" may score a couple of smiles from the Medi- care crowd, but even they know a decided dud when they see one. IMRAN SYED My dream battle royale he way I see it, there are four great TV shows that either spawned or were spawned by game franchises: "Beyblade," "Yu-Gi- Oh!," "Pok6mon," and "Digimon: Digital Monsters." These ter- rific 'toons held my childhood self rapt on many a Saturday morn- ing. And to this day, I find myself perusing YouTube listening to JAME the old theme songs BLOCK that captivated me, ------- every so often watching a full episode. But there is one mystery regarding these four shows that remains unsolved, even now: Which one is the best? They are all magnificent works of overdubbed art. But which one rises above the rest as champion of the children's anime world? There's only one way to solve this. As Yugi Moto so wisely yells, "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!" The Underdog Bracket: "Beyblade" vs. "Digimon" In the blue corner, we have "Beyblade," an epic anime centered on battle tops - yes, battle tops. But these aren't your grandma's fighting dreidels. These twirl- ing towers of weaponry are equipped with blades, spikes and, most important- ly, the spirits of ancient mythical beasts. In the red corner, we have "Digimon," a world of computer-generated giants and the kids who must save it. With such convoluted, ripped-off terms like "digivo- lution," "digivice" and, oh I dunno, "Digi- mon," you know the show is full of tacky, overblown digi-goodness. And as the theme song proudly proclaims: "Digimon are the champions." But are they really? "Beyblade" launches into the arena, armed with a simple formula of show- ing off tournament competition in its fictional, top-centric world. But in stomps "Digimon" atop an angry Raidramon, highlighting the show's subdued-yet- spiky anime style. All of a sudden, a giant dragon emerges from "Beyblade" for some unexplained reason, but "Digimon" swiftly evades the monster and lunges in for a bite to the jugular (if tops have jugular veins). The dragon re-emerges, and "Digimon" once again evades. With such limited subject matter and repetitive plot form, "Beyblade" can't win. The engaging plot advancement of "Digimon" is just too quick. "Digimon" wins the bout, and the dreidel comes up nun. The Popular Bracket: "Yu-Gi-Oh!" vs. "Pokdmon" In the mauve corner, we have "Yu-Gi- Oh!," the ultimate in spiky-haired, card- dueling tomfoolery. With a strong set of developed characters, small-business struggles, corrupt CEOs and a more-than- healthy dose of Egyptian mythology, there was no theme "Yu-Gi-Oh!" couldn't touch. Combine all that with elves, drag- ons, traps, magic and giant holograms and you've got a nerd's wet dream. in the chartreuse corner sits "Pok6- mon," which requires no introduction. Accompanying one of the best game franchises of all time, the show made everyone's favorite cute and cuddly com- panions even cuter and cuddlier. Add to this an unfailing sense of humor, great music and moral messages and you've got one hell of a series. "Pok6mon" chooses you, Pikachu, with your adorable, children-friendly pugnacity. Meanwhile, Yugi Moto sum- mons his favorite monster, Dark Magi- cian, revealing the darker fantasy vibe of Yu-Gi-Oh! Oh no! Oh yes! "Yu-Gi-Oh!" Pikachu tries to use tackle, but misses when he does a pratfall for attempted comedic affect. It's not very effective. But Pikachu recovers and uses Thundershock, illuminating the visual spectacles of the "Pokdmon" series. But then Yugi yells "You've activated my trap card," and you fuckin' know all is lost for the little electric mouse. With unpre- dictability inherent to the card game it features, "Yu-Gi-Oh!" defeats the overly immature and formulaic "Pok6mon" series. "Meowth, that's right," everyone. "Pok6mon" fainted. The Championship Round: "Digimon"vs. "Yu-Gi-Oh!" All right, readers, this shit just got real. Let's slow things down and have a real, detailed fight here. Nothing dirty. Noth- ing below the belt (not that the target audiences for these shows even know what that means). And no more oddly scripted pseudo-battles. This is important stuff we're doing. It's no coincidence that the two darker shows made it to the finals. It's an inde- scribably impressive feat to create a show that keeps children engaged (by some- thing other than paralyzing fear) while still maintaining a sense of foggy, sinister intrigue for older audiences. Yugi's grand- father was kidnapped by a corporate monster, and there's an entire alternate reality in "Yu-Gi-Oh!" appropriately titled "The Shadow Realm." The Dark Emperor of "Digimon," on the other hand, was none other than the depressed, overachieving pariah from school with a vendetta against the world. Both shows pull off the drama to a point, but "Digimon" undeniably goes deeper into the perils of human and digimon psyches. "Yu-Gi-Oh!" presents trauma in the form of an epic mission designed to inspire impressionable kids while "Digimon" shows life's hardships as they really are, except the show's brooding anti-hero gets a virtual world in which to vent. But for any fantastical show, the fiction realm where it unfolds must be perfected and captivating. "Digimon" presents a stereotypical middle school experience, paired with a visually stunning digital world. But, at Ieast in the first season, much of "Yu-Gi-Oh!" takes place purely in reality, with fantasy elements appear- ing only in the form of the namesake card game. And even when the show takes a trip to ancient Egypt, there is a stron- ger sense of reality. Because "Digimon" doesn't make its real-world setting suf- ficiently exciting, "Yu-Gi-Oh!" wins the setting scuffle with its corrupt corporate metropolises. Visually, both shows are equally matched, though they sport notably dif- ferent aesthetics. In the end, the true decider must be addictiveness. Both shows are great diversions, but only one keeps you coming back week after week. Barring the last few episodes of each sea- son, it's safe to miss an episode of "Yu-Gi- Oh!" and just assume someone challenged one member of the main cast and lost. But with "Digimon," every moment is vital. The world isunder constant threat, the characters are constantly forming and shifting their relationships with their digimon and with one another. And new powers, forms and realms are always being discovered. It was a long and noble effort by both competitors, but in the end there can only be one winner. And as the show itself so presciently postulated, "Digimon are the champions." Block is dreaming up another tournament: all-time-best pocket protector. Nominate your favorites to jamblock@umich.edu. ARTS IN BRIEF FILM REVIEW Sappy De Niro pic is far from'Fine' Everybody's Fine At the Quality 16 and Showcase Miramax "Everybody's Fine," an unabashed tear-jerker of wandering form and nar- rative, is definitely one of two things: an OK film that only those with age and experience will appreciate, or simply a horrendous conception that is stock, sterile holiday Hollywood fare at its worst. It certainly seems to be leaning toward the latter. The film stars the venerable Robert De Niro in another of the many forget- table roles that have characterized the # Beds Location Rent Now Showing for Fall 2010-2011!! Studio, 1,2 & 3 Bedrooms Apartments!! * Central Campus locations " *Fully Furnished " *Heat, Water, Internet and Parking included " Pleasant and Experienced Office and Maintenance Call us today to find your home for the fall!! *varies by ion 734.761.8000 www.primesh.com AARDVARKS AND WOLVER- INES! Your attention please! Campus Management, Inc. ivites you to visit www.CampusMgt.com, the best local website for the best selection of apartments and houses. We specialize in houses and apartments very close to central campus. Lots of 2 bedroom apts. and smaller available too! All are attractively priced, most include park- ing, many are furnished and some in- clude utilities. Contact us by phone to schedule a personal showing with our rental agent. Ask for Pat. 663-4101. AMAZING SIX BEDROOM HOUSE in prime location. 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