2B - Thursday, December 10, 2009 iPHONE APP -n A UACCOUNTIN CUR SE ps 1 CYCLE Pre! I' du re aeta ria baance ACCOUNTING MINI COURSE Ever wanted to take a class in account- ing? How much are you willing to pay for it? $1,000? How about $2.99? Buy the Accounting Mini Course. It provides various chapters that "summarise" (sic) the material and quizzes at the end. Read the disclaimer, though: "In all cases, we recommend that you obtain professional accounting advice." Just what you need! The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com INTERWEB EAVESDROPPING (910): dude i woke up to her mak- ing a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her? Michael Ian Black: Unless the next one has a dick, I don't want to hear any more about Tiger. Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my FML birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML High Five A notable Ann Arborite gives five answers to a curious question. Mark Clague Associate Professoi of Musicology What are your five favorite Motown songs? 1. "Cometo Me," MaryJohnson (1959)-This is the first songBerry Gordy wrote and recorded with the $800 loan from his family's investment fund. The hot, dedicated microphones on the tambourine and bass singer give the listener the feeling of being in the band. If "Come to Me" had not been a hit, Tamla / Motown would have gone out of business before it even started. 2. "Ball of Confusion (That's What the World Is Today)," The Temptations (1970) - While Gaye's "What's Going On" is the emblematic Motown political song, "Ball of Confusion" is earlier and hits topics such as the Vietnam War, racial segregation, white flight, drug abuse and political corruption with a funk bass line that drives the whole message home. 3. "Dancing in the Street," Martha and the Vandellas (1964) - Before Diana Ross, Martha Reeves was the original female lead of a hit Motownvocal trio. "Dancing in the Street" helped define the "Motown sound," and captures the positive, worldwide message of friendship and brotherhood for which the label is justly famous. 4. "ABC," The Jackson 5 (1970) - The supergroup's second hit of five in a row, "ABC" features the passion, power, and joy in the voice of 10-year-old Michael. It's an infectious song and maybe more than any tune, suggests that everyone loves Motown. 5. "Superstition," Stevie Wonder (1972) - Stevie won artistic independence from the corporation and asa result remains the one artist of the classic era who remained loyal to the label. The electric groove (played by Wonder on clavinet - an early electric keyboard) and power-pop horn lines can't be beat. SINGLE REVIEW BEACH HOUSE "ZEBRA" Beach House has been steadily making a name for itself with its narcotic dream pop, and "Zebra," the leadoff track to the band's Sub Pop debut Teen Drean, finds the Baltimore duo setting their ambitions ever higher. But despite the track's thick- er arrangements and quicker pace, the band retains its praise-worthy knack for winning melodies and minimalist arrangements. The band's ode to the "black and white horse" is a shimmering display of'slow, hand-plucked guitar and woozy vin- tage organs, anchored by lead singer Victoria Legrand's smoky and intoxicating vocals. MIKE KUNTZ 0 ONLINE GAMES OF THE WEEK SPIN THE BLACK CIRCLE 2 SNOW LINE S 0 I, The name of the game says it all. Your ball is trapped in a maze that is contained in a gigantic, ominous rusty circle. Rotate the maze itself to navigate your ball from start to fin- ish, avoiding the spikes, fire and other challenges that stand in your way. Hone your patience and precision and show the world how you roll. Find it at: http://tinyurl.com/play-black-circle-2 Oh no! Santa is caught on a sheet of ice suspended in mid air and his presents are floating in space surrounded by snow-tor- nadoes, volcanoes, trains, tunnels and all the other obstacles one expects in a typical Christmas present delivery game. Draw a line of snow to show him the precarious path to free- dom and cheer. If you fail, you'll ruin Christmas. Find it at: http://tinyurl.com/play-snow-line When you're lonely, TV is your best friend By CAROLYN KLARECKI Daily TV/New Media Editor If you watch a lot of television, maybe you don't have any friends. On Oct. 28 the University released a new study with conclusions to that effect. After surveying 300 people, the Communications Department big fan of the small screen, when nity to present audiences with a found that those who relate to or I first read reports of this study it narrative that carries on for months identify with TV characters are sounded like the biggest piece of or even years. They want to give us typically lonelier than those who bullshit I'd heard in a long time. something we'll watch week after don't, and they may be using their Some people are easily captivat- week, and we want to get lost in TV interactions to fill a social emp- ed by stories. That's what the whole something with substance. These tiness. TV industry is about. TV writers two desires are interdependent. As TV/New Media Editor and a and producers have the opportu- And one of the most successful ways to attract long-termviewers is deduce that the show's triumph is to use relevant and relatable char- the result of its viewers' pathetic acters. social lives. I may wish with all Perhaps the reason we identify my heart that Artie Abrams from with TV characters and personali- "Glee" were a real person so we ties isn't because we're miserable, could be best friends - and I do. friendless sad-sacks, but because we appreciate high-quality pro- gramming. Let's not undermine the work of the TV writer. These The Blue Ranger: writers set out to produce at least social pariah. a season's worth of screenplays, without making them lackluster ("CSI"), outlandish ("Heroes") or cheap ("The Secret Life of the Does that make me a depressing American Teenager"). loser? Maybe. Does it say a lot about When producers are success- Kevin McHale's portrayal of Artie ful in creating a small-screen and the quality of the character's gem, we shouldn't immediately See TV FRIENDS, Page 4B 6 6