The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

The ugly truth about my taste in music

aterialism and music don't mix.
Right? Unlike the narrative-
bound mediums of literature,
film and theater, music doesn't have to
tell a story in order to sell. It's not about
tangible things hap-
pening to tangible
people - sure, I often
picture vast "Myst"-
like dreamscapes
when I listen to
evocative post-rock
by instrumental
bands like Tortoise. JOSH
And, sure, I'll have an BAYER
imagery cocktail party
in my head whenever I play Pavement (I
triple-dog-dare you to hear "he sold his
swollen daughter in a sauna playing con-
tract bridge" without getting some serious
mind's-eye action going).
But, ultimately, music isn't about things.
It's not about conveying meaning or doling
out a take-home-message. It's not about
political expression (although Zack de la
Rocha would probably shank me for saying
that). It's about riding that immaterial wave
of noise and either feeling it in your gut or
not. And while it's probably true that the
best art - regardless of medium - packs a
punch because it woos you viscerally rather
than intellectually, music is abstract in the
sense that its mission statement is not to
represent the physical world.
Now, this isn't to say that reality-rooted
content is merely chump change in the
spiritual realm of music - listening to

a wordsmith like Conor Oberst without
attending at all to his vivid imagery would
be completely missing the point. But,
when push comes to shove, I'm in it for the
way the aural textures mesh with my ear-
drums, not for the amount of lyrical motifs
an artist can slyly tuck into one record.
Someone could transcribe the entire text,
of "Ulysses" into a 30-minute concept
album - if the singer's voice sucks, I'm not
going to give a shit.
Conversely, if the music is great but the
lyrics aren't stellar, I can usually cope.
This is especially apparent in genres
like shoegaze, where the hazy vocals
melt indecipherably into noise-damaged
soundscapes and become just another
instrument rather than a vessel for social
commentary or poetic value.
Loveless by My Bloody Valentine isn't
a classic because of its literary appeal -
the blissfully tragic atmosphere of a song
like "To Here Knows When" is severely
undercut if you read the lyrics: "Slip your
dress over your head / It's been so long /
Move on top / Because that way you touch
her too." Still, while these lines may sound
like a bad translation of a Korean soap
opera, they don't change the fact that the
song's runny-mascara acoustics make me
want to squirt some.
But this is all basically just preamble for
me to come out of the closet - I am a bad,
bad man. And as much as I preach music's
immateridliiy, I, being a devout American,
,have found ways tolet superficiality taint
my enjoyment of the medium. And no, it's

not because I watch MTV (because I don't).
When I listen to Built to Spill on
record, I am smitten. There's something
about Doug Martsch's blue-eyed, pseudo-
nasal drawl that pushes me dangerously
deep into man-crush territory. Based on
their music's bedroom charm, I'd always
pictured the band members to be a bunch
of flannel-wearing, baby-faced slackers
with ripped jeans and offhand sex appeal
- an attractive byproduct of hip mid-'90s
apathy.
But when I saw them live, my man-
crush went through the shredder.
Expecting a bunch of pretty-boy softies, I
Trying to separate
sounds from sights.
instead got the cast of '"The Big Lebows-
ki." With their back-from-the-dead facial
hair and schlubby, plumber-esque get-
up, they certainly looked like slackers,
but not the kind I had fantasized about.
In fact, I can confidently say that Built
to Spill is an ugly-looking band. And, as
guilty and shallow as I felt being turned
off by their Larry the Cable Guy blue-col-
lar-ness, I couldn't help the fact that the
band's homely exterior made me go a big
rubbery one. And, while I was admittedly
quite stoned and therefore hyper-prone
to fixating on incredibly minute details,

I must divulge that Martsch's possessed-
by-the-devil facial tics made me severely
uncomfortable. After a while, I fixed my
eyes resolutely on the band's guitars so
that I could get my head out of the gutter
and siiply revel in their jam-band chops
like a normally functioning human being.
This may seem minor, but it wasn't an
isolated event. The second time I saw
Yeasayer live, I was incredibly impressed,
and it took me a second to figure out
why I had been so irritated the first
time. Then I realized that the bassist
had chopped off his obnoxious-looking
braids, and that had probably made all
the difference. And I have trouble turn-
ing a blind eye to the fact that Avey Tare
from Animal Collective looks a little bit
too much like a frat boy to be fronting
such an enigmatic band.
I am not pleased with myself. If any art
form should be freed from the societal
mold of appearance, it's music. Music has
no celebrity-ptar system. It isn't even a
visual medium. So it seems like, theoreti-
cally, it should be exempt from all that
red-carpet bullshit. ButI just can't help
the fact that, if a musician is unpleasant
to look at, I'm going to have an unpleas-
ant time looking at them. Do I feel like an
asshole? Yes. Yes, I do. I just hope someone
else reads this and empathizes with me so
I can stop feeling like such a heathen.
Did you like Bayer's column until you
saw his headshot? To tell him about your
inner conflict, e-mail jrbayer@umich.edu.

Monday, November 23, 2009 - 7A
CHEF
From Page 5A
sitting in front of a television.
"Chef Academy" is for this per-
son - the sophisticated reality
addict. Bravo does a fine job of
honing in on series that play up
tension and catfights, but here the
network seems to aim for a new
demographic. It's now possible
to see how people improve their
cooking instead of watchingthem
get voted off for a lapse in judg-
ment. While "Chef Academy"
gives young cooks a chance, it
also shows the process of learning
to be a fantastic cook instead of
people proving they're fantastic
cooks.
"Chef Academy" is an inspir-
ing show that doesn't attempt
to make a chef out of you, but
does its best to bring some
respect back into the kitchen.
It's refreshing to geta glimpse of
the candidates before they make
it onto the show. Either Bravo is
really great at setting the mood
or Chef Novelli actually has a
hand in choosing the right peo-
ple for his academy.
On "Chef Academy," reality
meets respectability and cuisine
meets art on a non-competitive
level. With these two arguably
unexplored aspects of culinary
TV brought together, it's worth a
watch even if all it reaps is a pas-
sionate love-fest in the kitchen.
Wine and burgers for dinner?
Well, it's better than justburgers.

'4

~-

IU':

PRESENTS THE

I

SICK OF THE DORMS?
- CAN'T FIND A
PLACE TO LIVE?
Visit michigandally.com/
classifieds to see all of the
great houses and apartments
Ann Arbor has to offer, all on
a convenient map!
Also be sure to check out
the Classified Pages for other
great properties.
AARDVARKS AND WOLVER-
INES! Your attention please!
Campus Management, Inc. invites you
to visit www.CampusMgt.com, the best
local website for the best selection of
apartments and houses. We specialize
in houses and apartments very close to
central campus. Lots of 2 bedroom
apts. and smaller available too! All are
attractively priced, most include park-
ing, many are furmished and some in-
clude utilities. Contact us by phone to
schedule a personal showing with our
rental agent. Ask for Pat. 663-4101.
5 BEDROOM APARTMENT 611
Church, Located on the corner of
Church and S. University above
Amers. Entire building has been com-
pletely renoveted. Completely Fur-
nished (leather couches!), Huge Clos-
ets! Washer and Dryer in unit, Granite
Counter Tops, Stainless Steel Appli-
ances, Dishwasher and Disposal, 2500
S.F., 2.5 Baths. Available May and Fall
2010 $665.00-$785.00/month per per-
son with 6 roommates. Limited num-
ber of units remaining call
734-995-9211 for a lear.
7 BEDROOM HOUSE $450 per per-
son with 7 Roomates, this amazing
house is located just South of S. State
Street on Packard. The home has 3
bathrooms, 2 Kitchens, and 7 Large
Bedrooms. Plenty of room for up to 10
people! For a tour call 734-995-9200.
May 2010
Houses Available
7 Bed. 1129 White St. $3400
6 Bed. 417 N. Thayer $3600
6 Bed. 829 Packard $3700
4 Bed. 1037 Packard $2120
CAPPO/DEINC0
(734) 996-1991
7 BEDROOM HOUSE for 8. 3 Bath,
2 Kitchen, Parking and Laundry. Cor-
ner of South U and Elm. $5000/mo.
Plus utilities. 734-260-4003.
AWESOME LOCATION 2, 6 & 9
Bedroom, fully furn, large kitchens,
full size washer & dryer, on site
parking. For more information call
Laura at Church Street Apartments,
LLC. 734-994-0644.
ANN ARBOR WESTSIDE I bed-
room at $491. 2 bedroom at $714 w/ 2
months free. Call Now! 734-663-8463.

txperience ne virrerence
.1100 Sq. Ft. Apts.
Great for 2-5 people
* Balconies + Patios
for entertaining
* Free High-Speed Internet
* HD Direct TV w/ DVR Service
* Built in microwave,
dishwasher, disposal
" Contemporary Furniture
" Close to CCRB
" Eercise Room, Rec. Room
* Study Lounge w/ Computers
Models open Doily
C B741-9300
www.annarborapartments.net
8 BEDROOM HOUSE - $485/mo per
person with 8 roommates! Located just
about a 10-15 minute walk from the
diag this fully furnished house is a
great choice for those wanting to save
$$$$ and still be able to walk to cam-
pus. 2 Kitchens, 3 bathrooms, and
plenty of parking!!!!
Call 734-995-9200 for a tour today.
811 S. DIVISION 4 bedrooms, I bath,
parking, laundry, $2100/month. Avail
Fall 2010. dklemptner@comcast.net
9 BEDROOM HOUSE $560/mo per
person with 10 roommates!!!!!! Lo-
cated just a 10 minute walk from the
Diag on 1130 South University. Hard-
wood floors, Dishwasher, 3 kitchens, 6
bathrooms, maximum occupancy 14
people. Call 734-995-9200 for a
showing.
AAAAHHH!!! START W/ an unbe-
lievable 2 bdrm with 1100 sqft & 1.5
baths. Add FREE internet, HD directv
with DVR, fitness room, study & tv
lounge & you have Geddes Hill apart-
ments! Call today to reserve your new
home available spring & fall. 741-
9300 www.annarborapartments.net
AFFORDABLE 4-MONTH CON-
TRACTS, Available for Winter Term.
Rates Starting at $529; Includes all
meals, utilities and more.
ICC Student Co-op Housing,
www.icc.coop 734-662-4414.
AVAIL. 9/1/10 WILLIAM & Divi-
sion. Eff.,-I bdrm., and 2 bdrm. apt. w/
security buzzer. Laundry facility & sep-
arate storage lockers. Gallatin Realty
Co. 734-368-0256.
AVAIL. NOW FOR 2010. 2 spacious
furn. 5 bdrm apts. Can be combined as
10 bdrm hse. Call 734-665-2723 or
visit www.ShahProperties.com
AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE
Occupancy 2 Bedroom, Central Cam-
pus with newer kitchen and dish-
washer. Price Negotiable. Heat, water,
parking, and furniture included. Cull
734-995-9200 for details.
AVAILABLE NOW! GREAT 2
Bdrm apt. in prime location, private bal-
cony, heat/water mc., fully furnished,
free parking, $999/mo. 734-665-8825.
WHY RENT WHEN you can Buy?
Check out all of the available proper-
ties for sale in the area.
www.lSellA2.com 734-476-9768
CRAWFORD HOUSE
Luxury 5 bedroom 2 bath apt available
Prime Location! Free parking!
$3999/mo. 734-665-8825
www.campusrealty.com

Beds Location
6 1121Church
6 543 S. Division #2
6 1221 S. State #2
5 1117 Church #1
5 420 S. Division #2

Rent
$3500
$3000
$2500
$3000
$3000

Copi Properties
734.663.5609
CUTE HOUSE AT 1115 S. Forest. 6
rooms, 2 showers, new kitchen in -08,
furnished and parking for 6. $3200/mo.
+ utilities. 734-260-4003.
EAST U & Vaughn. 5 bdrm for 6. Lrg
bdrms, very nice condition. Furn, free
dry + prkg for 4 cars. Easy in/out.
$2750. 734-426-4772.
FALL APARTMENT-LRG 2 Bdrm.,
very nice, 528 S. Fifth Ave. Furnished,
dishwasher, disposal, ldry. Heat, water,
and prkg. included. $1200 + electric.
(734) 662-7121 or gpmiles@aol.com
FOR MAY/SEPTEMBER 2010 lease.
1, 2, 3 bdrm apts at 408 Hill, 908 Sybil,
910 Packard, 1130 Oakland, 1026
Vaughn, etc. 734-769-7025.
jmsprop@sbcglobal.net or visit
www.jmsprop.com
LARGE ONE BEDROOM apartment
available immediately, 2 blocks east of
the business school. Heat, water and
parking included. Call Campus Man-
agement 734-663-4101.
WWW.800FULLER.COM
(734) 769-7520
1 & 2 bdrm., modern, clean, quiet
5 min. walk. Free Wi-Fi,
NOW LEASING 2010,11
PRIME STUDENT HOUSING
761-8000
www.primesh.com
Call today to see your new Home!
Efficiencies:
726S. State
610 S. Forest
344S. Division
515 E. Lawrence
1 Bedrooms:
726 S. State
520 Packard
1000 Oakland
326 E. Madison
721 S. Porest
511 E. Hoover
1320 S. University
2 Bedrooms:
1330 N. University Ct.
726 S. State
1021 Vaughn
1000 Oakland
1333 Wilmot
515 E. Lawrence
520 Packard
326 E. Madison
721 S. Poresm
1320S. University
610 S. Forest
411 High
819 Brown
3 Bedrooms:
1330 N. University Ct.
1021 Vaughn
525 Walnut
1000 Oakland
1320 S. University
4 Bedroom:
720 S. State
*Fully Furnished apartments
*Parking Included
*Free Ethernet
Free heat and water
* Atmost locations)

608 Monroe - Behind S. Quad
Eff, Bi-level 1 and 2 Bdrm. apts.
Cull Amanda at 231.633.7143 or email
68MonroeManagrrs@umich.edu
8155. State - Between Arbor & Hill
Lg. 2 Bdrm. apts (over 1100 sqft. each)
Call David at 248.935.2159 or email
815SouthStateManagers@umich.edu
711 Arch - Between State & Packard
1, 2, 3 Bdrm. apts.
Call Phil at 734.662.5270
Call above numbers or email for
showings or please stop by!
GREAT LOCATION EAST U &
Vaughn. 6 bdrm, first floor of duplex. 2
bath, 2 fridge, free parkingfor 5 cars.
Easy in/out. September lease. $3390.
734-426-4772.
IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY.
LARGE one and two bedrooms apart-
ments on Central and North Campus,
www.michcomrealty.com or
734-662-5500 for appointment.
LARGE FURNISHED 2 or 3 bdrm
apt. at 1111 S. State, Near U-M bus
stop, Avail. Now, May, Fal '10, Heat
& water incl. Balc., A/C, prkg., dry.,
$100$1650, No smkg./no pets.
734-996-3539 or 734-67-7250.
ehtseng@comcast.net
-VARSITY MANAGEMENT:
www.varsitymanagement.com
(734) 668-1100
All apts. are fuly furnished, have new
kitchens w/ dishwashers, include heat,
water, most ine. parking, some incl.
wireless!
*BI-LEVEL 2 BED 2 BATH:
515 Walnut, huge apts. perfect for 4!
Close to CCRB and CC Little.
-FOREST TERRACE: 1001 S. For-
est, huge, sunny, 2-bedrooms large
enough for 4! All w/ big beautiful
kitchens.
-543 CHURCH ST: 2 & 4 bdrm bi-
levels, andhuge 2-bdrms for 4. The per-
fect location! Parking extra for this lo-
cation.
-PARK TERRACE: 148 Tappan, cor-
ner of Tappan & Oakland, huge 2-bed-
rooms w/ new kitchens and great bal-
conies! Underground parking.
-BURNS PARK: 1039 Baldwin, mas-
sive, gorgeous apts. insa converted man-
sin.lHardwood floors, 10ftsceilings,
fireplaces. Youve gal to see these!
Studio, 2bds, & 4 bds avail.
MAY LEASES STUDIO-3 bdrms
avail on central campus. 741-9300
www.annarborapartments.net
NORTH CAMPUS 1-2 Bdrm.
Id. Heat/Water/Parking
www.HRPAA.com 996-4992.
NOW LEASING FOR 2010-2011.
Great Locations! Call (734) 668-1118
or visit www.noplacelikejones.com
SUBLETS
WE WANT YOUR HOUSE FOR
THE WEEKEND! Get paid big bucks
to stay with your friends for the week-
end. Earn $500-$3000 in 2-3 days by
letting us sublet your house. Our in-
sured service ents et houses and
apartments to alumni for fotbpll/bas-
ketball weekends and puts money in
your pocket instantly. Cleaning service
and property insurance included. For
more information email
rentme@gobluehouses.com.
SERVICES
THESIS EDITING- LANGUAGE,
organization, format. 25 yrs. U-M exp.
996-0566 or writen@iserv.net

HELP WANTED
!!!BARTENDING!!! $300 /day poten-
tial. No exp. nec., training provided.
AGE 18+ OK. 800-965-6520 x 125.
ATTN: GRADUATING SENIORS
U-Mis Center for Researchon Learning
and Teaching seeks full-time, year-
round Program Assistant for event
planming and support. Must be depend-
able, detail-oriented, organized, and
possess great communication skills.
Dec I start (neg.). Starting salary in
high twenties, full benefits. Submit
cover letter and resume in single elec-
tronic file to JOB ID 35881 at
www.umich.edu/-jobs/ . The Univer-
sity of Michigan is an Equal Opportuni-
ty/Affirmative Action Employer.
FUNDRAISE FOR THE U! $9.25-
+/Hr. at Michigan Telefund. On cam-
pus, flexible hrs. Students, apply @
www.telefund.umich.edu or 763.4400.
NEED CASH? EARN up to $1,000
during finals week! Better World
Books needs your help buying text-
books and collecting textbook dona-
tions. Help your friends get more cash
for their books and earn money in the
process. Contact Emily at 574-855-
5206 or go to www.betterworldbooks.-
com/campusoperative
PART TIME WORK
Customer sales/service, great pay. Flex-
ible around classes, will train.
734-677-2477. www.earnparttime.com

EARN EXTRA MONEY! Students
needed ASAP. Earn up to $150/day be-
ing a mystery shopper. No experience
required. Call 1-800-722-4791.
STUDENTPAYOUTS.COM
Paid survey takers needed in A2.
100% FREE to join. Click on Surveys.
SURVEY TAKERS NEEDED: make
$5-$25 per survey.
www.GetPaidToThink.com
CHILDCARE
CHILDCARE FOR 7YR old son of
UM professor and entrepreneurial wife.
Cure in A2 home for 12 hes a week.
Great ref(s) req., 1-2 yr.2commitment
pref, must have car. Email resume to
cherylh@humaxnetwsrks.cem
EXPERIENCED DRIVER WITH
good driving record needed to pick and
drop two kids from St. Francis school
Please call for more info 313-399-0652.
TICKETS & TRAVEL
SPRING BREAK 2010. Sell Trips,
Earn Cash and Go Free. Call for Group
Discounts. Best Prices Guaranteed!
Best Parties! Jamaica, Cancun,
Acapulco, Bahamas, S. Padre, Florida.
Information/Reservations
1-800-648-4849 or www.ststravel.com

For Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009 You want long-term results.
ARIES SCORPIO
(March 21 to April 19) (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
This is a great day to make travel plans This is a good day for business and
or plans for further education, training or finances. If shopping. you will want
anything having to do with promoting practical items that will last far into the
your job, your career or your life experi- future. You're also willing to work hard
enrce. Plan ahead! to earn your money today.
TA UR US SAGITTARI US
(April 20 to May 20) (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
You cart make great strides if you sit You're in a serious frame of mind
down with others to discuss shared prop- today. Discussions with people who are
erty, insurance matters or inheritances. older or more experienced will benefit
People are in a very practical frame of you. Listen to the advice of others.
ini d. CAPRICORN
GE:MINI (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
(May 21 to JLune 20) Research or working on your own will
Partners ard close friends are willing pay off today. You're willing to forgo
to talk about practical, long-term solu- today's pleasures for good results tomor-
tions for issues that you both share. This row.
includes taking care of children. AQUARIUS
CANCER (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
(June 21 toJuly 22) Think about your goals and dreams for
Yourtthinking is very careful and exact the future. What do you have to do now,
today. Choose work that requires atten- in very practical terms, in order to see
tion to detail. You have the energy and results a year from now?
perseverance to slog away at routine PISCES
tasks. (Feb. 19 to March 20)
LEO Discussions with authority figures
(July 23 to Aug, 22) bosses, parents, teachers and VIPs -
Artists can make headway in taking will focus on long-range plans for the
care of rUndanre details such as prepara- future. People want to know that they
tion or buying cleaning supplies. This can count on you. And they can!
also is a goodlay to discuss the care and YOU BORN TODAY You're
education of children. extremely energetic and are not afraid of
VIRGO disputes. You stand up for your beliefs!
(Aug. 23to Sept. 22) Furthermore, you're very frank with
Family discussions are practical today. your opinions: You're active, ful-loving
'eople watt to discuss loeg-terrnvseun- arid very posiive. You like to help oth-
rity. Talk to relatives, especially a parent, ers. People count you as a loyal friend.
about home repairs. Recently, you have embarked on a new
LIBRA course. In the year ahead, partnerships
(Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) and close friendships will be important
You're in such a practical frame of to you.
mind today; why not use this energy to Birthdate of: Billy Connelly,
take care of whatever is right in front of actor/comedian; Katherine Heigl,
you? Just roll tip your sleeves and dig in! actress; Colin Hanks, actor.
C. 2009 King Feaures Syndicate, Inc.

r

A