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AISOMETH INGON
Even in the toughest of economic times, there is money to be made. It all depends on
how far you are willing to go to make quick cash. By Kristen Steagall I Daily Staff Writer

Wedesay Mac :25 208 . Dily



QUOTES OF THE WEEK
I need more attractive
waitresses to go along
with the ones I have
right now."
- TOM TSOUMAS, co-owner of Foxy
Lady strip club in Rhode Island, on his plan
to hold a job fair to hire workers who have
been laid off because of the bad economy

"The young naked man
approached her with this
poodle, and she immediately
realized something peculiar."
- CRAIG MAST, a police lieutenant for Oceana Coun-
ty, Mich., explaining how a 14-year-old boy walking
naked with a big white poodle assaulted a 53-year-old
woman who asked if he needed help. The boy pushed
the woman over, broke her cell phone and then fled

TALKING
POINTS
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. Tuition hikes
2. UMMA
3. Global currency
And three things you can't: =
1. Obama's NCAA bracket
2. Cheney's vitriol
3. The Pope's stance on AIDS

"These people are serious. Please help me."
- KHADIJA ABDUL QAHAAR, a 55-year-old Canadian journalist who converted to Islam after the
Sept. 11 attacks, making a plea in a video for someone to rescue her from the Taliban. She was taken
hostage a few months ago during a freelance reporting trip to North Waziristan, and the Taliban
have threatened to behead her if the group doesn't receive a $2 million ransom by the end of March

YOUTUBE
VIDEO OF
THE WEEK
More madness
For many people, March is a time
when most everything else is sub-
ordinated to college basketball. You
spend your days glued to the televi-
sion, bracket in hand, waiting for the
scores to roll in. And that's with only
64 teams in the tournament.
In this video, brought to you by
The Onion, the NCAA has appar-
ently decided to increase the number
of teams in March Madness to 4,096.
But don't panic. College basketball
analysts Tim and Joe are going to
distinguish the "contenders from the
pretenders" when they debate the
newly-expanded tournament in "The
Stream Room."
Was it a good idea to enlarge the
tournament? Definitely, Joe says,
because too many teams were unjust-
ly excluded in years past. Now, the
tournament will include teams from
Divisions II and III, community
colleges, online colleges and trade,
technical and devotional schools,
Regrettably, however, Oxnard Cali-
fornia's Advanced Truck Driving
School was left out this year because
its coach didn't register the team in
time for the tournament.
This revamped tournament will
now be called June Madness. People
will be able to watch 500 games a day
and, if they so choose, 24 games at
once. It's really for the fans, Joe says.
Start filling out those brackets. It
could take a while.
- BRIAN TENGEL
See this and other
YouTube videos ofthe week at
youtube.com/user/michigandaily

THEME PARTY SUGGESTION
Spring Awakening - After a seemingly intermi-
nable winter, it's finally warming up outside, which
means it's time to reunite with the friends you
haven't seen since November. To do this, throw a
party in the Arb on a sunny afternoon. Bring plenty
of alcohol, blankets and, if you must, a Frisbee. Let
the sun warm the outside of your body while the
alcohol warms the inside. Bring a jacket, though.
It'll probably be snowing again when you leave.
Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStotement@umich.edu

BY THE NUMBERS
Amount, in dollars, that a bidder paid for the Pearl Carpet of Baroda,
which was commissioned for the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad
Numbers of years since the carpet was commissioned in India
Estimated number of individual natural seed pearls used to
make the carpet
Source: BBc

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STUDY OF THE WEEK
Moderate drinking in social settings can be healthy
Moderate levels of alcohol consumed in social settings can reduce
ratesofheartdisease andstroke, accordingtoastudyrecentlypublished
in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.
For the study, the researchers looked at the drinking habits, social
networks and cardiovascular health of 19,356 Japanese men aged 40
to 60. Drinking patterns were divided into seven categories, includ-
ing "never," "past" and "occasional." For those who drank more
often, the researchers charted how many grams of alcohol they con-
sumed per week.
After nine years or more of observing the study participants, the
researchers discovered 629 strokes and 207 coronary heart diseases.
Those who drank more heavily, defined as 300 grams of alcohol per
week or more, increased their risk of stroke. But those who drank mod-
erately or lightly in social settings with friends actually reduced their
chances of contracting stroke and heart disease.
- BRIAN TENGEL