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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Thrdy aur 009.Dail

Bringing your
By ZACHARY MEISNER holiday (read: a faraway fuck-filled On
ManagingPhoto Editor extravaganza), consider wheth- Ass
er the amount of money you are secur
Beingseparated from your loved spending to travel could be wasted prepa
one for months on end can be try- by visiting a cheating lover. Let's your]
ing, especially when he or she is face it: Your relationship may not break
hundreds of miles away. Don't have held up between the time you ably g
sweat it though - spring break kissed your lover goodbye and the of sex
offers the perfect opportunity time you decided to visit them. Eveni
to re-unite with your significant And the last thing you want is to presst
other and make up on lost time. arrive in a foreign locale and not and/o
If you decide to make a long-haul have anyone to spend time with. your
travel to see your special one, it's That's why the location of your flight.
important that you leave that per- partner is key. If he or she is in yourF
son satisfied with your company Puerto Vallerta, for example, you the ni
- especially in bed. With a little don't need to know anybody to greate
preparation, you'll be well on your have a good time; if your lover bring
way to a vacation that can serve as has unceremoniously eloped with rehea
the sexual embodiment of every- some exotic foreigner, you can just head,
thing the springseason represents: find a new consenting partner and arrest
beauty, awakening, growth and be on the rebound in, oh, about five If y
taking off the clothes you wore all minutes. Butnot every trip location much
winter. will put you in such fertile mating the M
To go or not to go? ground. So be careful; who wants for co
First, before embarking on to be stuck in Siberia for spring get wl
what you hope will be a romantic break without guaranteed sex? to be

break to a climax

Spring break fees the

It's tough enough traveling
on a college budget ... but in
+kha murlctf rrccinn tnnr~

theplane
suming your relationship is
e, and the location is legit, get
red for the longest flight of
life. By the time your spring
trip rolls around,you're prob-
oing to have at least a month
:ual build-up under your belt.
if you have been relieving that
ure using Skype (or dildos
r Fleshlights) you might find
mind wandering during the
. When that happens, close
eyes and prepare yourself for
ights to come. Imagine your
:st fantasies and get ready to
them to life. You could even
rse your dirty talk (in your
that is; you don't want to get
ed when you land).
our imagination becomes too
to take, don't be afraid to join
lile High Club (it's not just
uples). And guys, when you
here you are going, you want
able to perform your high-

est possible level so be prepared to Afteryou land
build up your stamina. If you need Even though sex is going to be
lubricant, make sure to bring a on both of your minds the minute
bottle less than three ounces in vol- you see each other, you'll have to
ume, or you might be embarrassed pretend like doing it isn't all you've
during a search by an overzealous thought about throughout your sep-
Transportation Security Adminis- aration. So say hi, grab some exotic
tration officer. food and be like "Oh baby, I missed
If you're planning on engaging you!" During this lengthy reunion,
in a little self-love in the airplane you'll be happy you masturbated the
lavatory (seriously, is there any- whole flight.
thing more romantic?), try and Making the moment count
secure an aisle seat at check in. When the time finally comes
to consummate the trip, surprise
your lover with some special
Don't et stuck underwear. For men, try bikini
briefs. Don't be nervous, they're
in Siberia more comfortable than briefs and
exponentially sexier. They may
w ithout sex. require more pubic hair trimming
than you are used to, but again,
they're sexy and comfortable.
Women, don't let Victoria's Secret
This way you won't have to bother be your sole creative muse; think
the people next to you every time outside the pink box.
you come (or cum) and go. If exe- There are two items I recom-
cuted properly, in-air masturba- mend buying on location: condoms
tion can be the perfect activity for and cigarettes (and I recommend
a long travel: It's a great way to kill using them in that order). As far
time, get in the mood to see your as the actual sex goes, you won't
lover and put yourself to sleep. need much inspiration to be on top
Most likely, your flight is going to of your game. You've already pre-
be long enough that you'll need to do pared, so you should have no short-
some personal grooming before you age of ideas or endurance - the rest
land. Don't let down your partner should come naturally after the long
by looking like you learned hygiene separation. 3
and style from Michael Moore It's always a good idea to broad-
or Amy Winehouse. Bring a sexy en your sexual horizon, but hav-
change of clothes, some hair prod- ing great sex on your spring break
uct and smell-nice stuff (read: not trip is vital. Your lover will know
Axe, loser). Your grandma might not you care based on the price of your
tell you to masturbate on a jumbo plane ticket alone, but leaving a
jet, but even she would tell you to sexy taste in his or her mouth will
put your best foot forward. keep them hooked.
SPRING BREAK ISSUE
COVER ILLUSTRATION: Rose Jaffe
INSIDE ILLUSTRATIONS: Laura Garavoglia
MANAGING DESIGN EDITOR: Maureen Stych
SENIOR DESIGN EDITOR: Hillary Ruffe
DESIGNERS:Sara Boboltz, Hillary Ruffe
WANNA GET CLOSE TO
THE ACTION?
WORK FOR PHOTO.
E-mail photo@michigandaily.com.

L I I II IlaLALVI (Cl I C..CaIVI I, w
See how students are coping
with monetary stress.

By Elin Bergman I Daily Staff Reporter
For most students, spring break is a time to sit back, said. "We decided not to get it with a party package. It's a
relax and sip on fruity cocktails at a tropical resort in lot cheaper without the package. You can still get into the
Mexico. At a time when the U.S. economy is at its worst parties."
point in recent history, though, some students are opting Toll said the deals fraternities and sororities get from
for cheaper destinations closer to home. Bianchi Rossi usually run at $1,500-$1,600 for seven days.
Although many students are still looking to get away By going through a private travel agency and skipping the
to exotic destinations, STA Travel, a student travel asso- party package, Toll's fraternity Phi Kappa Psi managed to
ciation, has seen a larger interest than usual in U.S. loca- cut costs to $1,100 for the week.
tions for spring break compared to past years, said Patrick Toll said the economic downturn "was not a driv-
Evans, marketing communications coordinator at STA in ing force" behind the fraternity's decision, but added
an e-mail interview. that, "people did react when they were told it would be
"This year, we've seen greater demand for spring break $1,500."
packages to domestic destinations," Evans said. "The most Tasha Vardya, outgoing president of Delta Theta Psi
popular domestic destinations this year sorority, said she noticed changes in her
are not that different than in past years ... sorority sisters' spring break plans this
South Padre Island, Panama City Beach year. Many of the members were think-
and Miami are again popular this year." Airfare is too ing of taking roadtrips in the United
Evans also said students are looking to States as a cheaper alternative to inter-
minimize their spring break costs by tak- expensive for national spring break options.
ing a bus instead of flying. il "People are considering staying in the
"Our party bus road trip packages that international U.S. instead of going to, say, Mexico,"
head to places like Miami and Panama t eVardya said. "I'm considering a roadtrip
City Beach are popular this year," he trave. myself."
said. LSA sophomore Lauren Dreifus said
Even though the economy hasn't com- that because of the poor economy, she
pletely changed the way students cele- chose to visit her family in New Jersey
brate spring break, students still seem to factor in the cost for the break instead of going on atrip with her friends.
in a manner unlike previous years, said Wade Lindquist, "That money could go toward something else," she
Midwest sales manager for Student City, a student travel said. "I'd rather just go home, stay home for free and hang
agency. out."
To accommodate cost-conscious travelers, Lindquist Dreifus said she didn't know about her friends' vacation
said Student City has started offering more affordable plans, but said many were going home to their families.
trips. While sales for this year are up, Lindquist added that "I think a lot of people are just going home for spring
Student City has also seen increased demand for cheaper break for similar reasons. Nobody really wants to spend
domestic trips. the money to go away this year," she said. "If the economy
"We're offering more budget-conserving packages was better, I think a lot of people would be more willing
and we've adjusted to the increased price consciousness to spend the money and go down to Florida or something
among students," Lindquist said. "We'vedone more cost- like that."
effective packages, like offering gas rebates for Panama Kinesiology senior Erin McCarty is on the Alternative
City trips." Spring Break's financial and fundraising committee. She
Linquist also suspects the effect of the economic down- said ASB, a community service student group, has not had
turn would have been worse if the agency hadn't imple- to make any changes.in response to tough economic times.
mented less expensive travel packages. McCarty did notice, though, that it's getting more chal-
Blake Toll, vice president of public relations for the lenging to find donors to fund the program and that the
Interfraternity Council and social chair of Phi Kappa Psi, number of applications for scholarships and fee-waivers
said his fraternity's spring break plans for this year are increased.
slightly different compared to past years. McCarty said it was too early to tell how much the
Toll said most fraternities and sororities book their economy would affect the willingness of people to donate
spring break trips through student travel organizations, money to the organization, but said that they've already
like Bianchi Rossi or Student City, and the trips usually noticed a decline.
come with a special "party package" that includes VIP ASB's advisor Tracy Welch said an anonymous dona-
passes to nightclubs. tion made it possible for the program to avoid cutbacks in
In an effort to save money this year, Toll stated that his the number of participants this year.
fraternity has chosen to bypass the expensive party pack- "We're starting to lose some of our bigger donors,"
age trips. McCarty said. "It's also been harder to get donations from
"We switched this year to a private travel agency," Toll family, friends and local business."

ROAD TRIP ESSENTIALS
If you're saving money this spring break by road-tripping,
you should probably keep the next few items handy. You never
know what you may need along the way.
MAP
You need this to figure out how to get off the highway so
you can make fast-food dives and get back on the road without
winding up in Nowhereland.
MP3 PLAYER AND MIX CDS
There's nothing b'etter than howling renditions of Warren
Zevon's "Werewolves of London" to keep you awake during a
10-plus hour car ride.
CAMERA
So you can take pictures of your travel mates while they're
sleeping and drooling all over themselves. A picture like that
could buy you a free dinner sometime.
ADVIL
You might get a headache after arguing about whether or
not to stop by the creationist museum or the "Touchdown
Jesus" on your way to your destination. It's best to be safe and
keep a bottle around.
SNACKS
The food triangle of road trip nutritionbegins with starches
(Teddy Grahams, Wheat Thins), then goes to fruit of the grab-
in-your-hand sort (grapes, apricots, blueberries), and finally
to sugars (sour gummy Life Savers and Starburst jellybeans).
DO YOU LIKE
HIP HOP?
WRITE FOR
ARTS.
Join our music staff.
E-mail battlebots@umich.edu