T The Michigan Daily - michigandailycomWensaOthr2,08-A Wednesday, October 29, 2008 -5A Getting into the Halloween spirit he leaves have fallen, the air is brittle and every other storefront is. dressed in autumnal rega- lia. Meanwhile,, costumes have started to come out of the attic and "Monster BRANDON Mash" can CONRADIS be heard on every oldies station from here to Hawaii. It means only one thing... Even though I'm a college student, I can't help but get all nostalgic when Halloween rolls around. Yeah, I've outgrown trick-or-treating and hardly think of the holiday as anything more than a fun diversion (and the cause for a severe hangover), but there's just something about the season that brings it all back to me. One of my fondest memories is watching Halloween-themed movies on television all through the month of October. Sadly, since college, I haven't had time to *indulge myself. So I figured, this month, why not? So here, in no particular order, is a list of what I consider to be the best Halloween-themed mov- ies you can find - movies that just So haispen to be from my child- hood. They're all perfect for view- ing a day, or even a week, before the Big Night. (And, no, I'm not endorsing staying in on Hallow- een to watch "Hocus Pocus." So don't take me for that kind of guy.) "Ernest Scared Stupid" (1991): The immortal Jim Varney decided to get in the Halloween spirit with this film, perhaps the most fucked-up children's movie everoade. Here's a taste of the plot:A troll is running around a small town turning little kids and dogs into wooden statues to add to his collection, and it's up to our resident goofy hero Ernest (Var- ney) to save the day. Even as a five-year-old I was no wuss, but this scared the crap out of me. And, honestly, I don't know what's more disturbing: think- ing about the troll waiting for me under my bed, or thinking about whoever wrote this head-trip itting next to me somewhere in public. Yeesh. "Hocus Pocus" (1993): To be perfectly honest I haven't seeq this film in years, but I felt I had an obligation to put it on the list - I loved this film when I was a kid. Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy play witches resurrected in modern- day Salem, Mass. They spend most of the movie chasing a bunch of kids who, for some reason or another, have the ability to destroy them. If I recall correctly, it had something to do with a book. And there's a talking cat in it, which is cool. "Halloween II" (1981): Okay, so there had to be at least one full-fledged horror film on this list. This sequel scared the bejeezus out of me every time it played on American Movie Clas- sics when I was younger, and, years later, I can still attest to its effectiveness. I mean, there are only a few things scarier than hospitals, and one of them is a masked maniac running around with a knife. Sadly for us, "Halloween II" fea- tures a masked maniac with a knife running around the inside of a hospital. If that's not enough to make you bury your head beneath Charlie Brown, Michael Myers and Ernest - best Halloween ever. a hill of pillows, I don't know what is. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (1966): Behold, the greatest Hallow- een-themed film ever made. Charles M. Schulz was an American genius, and "It's the Great Pumpkin" is one of his defining achievements. Spooky, goofy and very odd, this classic cartoon tells the tragic tale of Charlie Brown's friend Linus and his doomed goal to stay up late to see the Great Pumpkin rise from its place in the pumpkin patch one faithful Halloween night. Of course, it never does. Humorous, bitter and poignant, as only some- thing written by Schulz could be. Don't be mistaken- Conradis will be getting very drunk on Halloween. E-mail him at brconrad@umich.edu. A scene from "The Life of the French and the Famous." Looking for love, finding emptiness Claude Chabrol's latest experience. It's the kind of preposterous, cold and drama invokes little ugly film that only the most masochistic and scornful people will enjoy. It's a film for sympathy for its dull and sadists; it's relentlessly life-sucking. Gabrielle Snow (Ludivine Sagnier, self-centered characters "Swimming Pool") is an attractive, young and intelligent French weatherwoman. By BLAKE GOBLE She's tired of being referred to as a child Daily Film Editor and not being taken seriously. There's something funny beneath her restrained Mass media often stereotype obscure- demeanor, but it's impossible to pinpoint foreign films as impenetr'ble, sub-porno- just what makes her tick in this completely graphic Showtime fod- superficial film. der that only teenage boys f Gabrielle attempts to stimulate herself watch when Spice Network by predatorily courting the mature, sadistic. is blacked-out. Remem- \Girl Cut author Mr. Charles Saint-Denis (Frangois ber the dirty foreign flick Berleand, "Transporter 2"). He's worldly about incestuous cous- and passionate and perfect for Gabrielle. ins that George Michael At the And he's a stuffy bastard. fawned over in TV's Michigan But while Gabrielle tries to woo the liter- "Arrested Development"? Theater ary pervert statesmen, a talentless, childish Well, "A Girl Cut in Two" IFC heir desperately tries to win her affection. is the woeful actualiza- That aspiring suitor is Mr. Paul Andre tion of that kind of mate- Claude Gaudens (Benoit Magimel). He bites rial. Except it's not funny in the least. It's his fingers, wears garish outfits and is envi- a miserable film that portrays a ridiculous, ous of Gabrielle's fawning for Saint-Denis. contrived dilemma as if it were a universal Awkward sexual proclivities, like hint- ALBUM REVIEW No Cure' for this excruciating sonic nightmare ed sadomasochism, define Gabrielle and Charles's relationship. To pique Gabrielle, Charles dresses her in costumes and berates her for her various failings. And he forces her to sleep with other men in his presence. Paul isn't better behaved. Nervous that she might be thinking of Charles, Paul aims a gun at Gabrielle as she gives him a blow job. "Girl" is meant to be an ironic dramedy about a poor young woman's struggle to find happiness. But it's merely another love triangle piece, burdened with three truly self-centered people. Characters may seem to have deep, revealing attributes that are aimed at adult emotions: But in the end, they provide only restrained shock value and bitterness. Not only are the characters bad people, but they're in a poor film. "Girl" is handled in' an emotionless and tactless manner, and though it intends to be suave, subtle and engaging, it achieves none of its goals. It's the cinematic equivalent of an inescapable mausoleum. Like a bad parody of pretentious foreign films, "Girl" finally gives mercy when it flames out in a big, pompous, worthless metaphorical conclusion. ARTS IN BRIEF Film Edward Norton and Cohn Farrell propel 'Serpico'-style street thriller "Pride and Glory" At Quality 16 and Showcase New Line As far as gritty, dark police dra- amas go, "Pride and Glory" is enter- taining. The film stars Colin Farrell ("Miami Vice") and Edward Norton ("The Incredible Hulk") as two New Yolk City police officers from the same family. Both find themselves on opposite sides of an investigation into the deaths of four other offi- cers who were shot while allegedly responding to a routine call. When the investigation points to dirty cops and drugs, the entire farily is torn apart in a laudably woven thematic web, which has enough drive and swagger to feel fresh despite the film's genre- bound execution. The plot of "Pride and Glory" is verysimilarto lastyear's "We Own the Night" (starring Mark Wahl- berg and Joaquin Phoenix). Easily better than that film, it evokes the gravity and steep tension of the pinnacle of the "dirty cop" genre, Sidney Lumet's "Serpico." Norton conveys some of the same righteous outsider/hopeless do-gooder aura that earned Al Pacino a 1974 Oscar nomination for the title role in that film. For his part, Farrell comports ruth- lessness with shocking ease and brings a nasty efficiency to his anti-heroic role. The film itself, however, doesn't measure up to the fine perfor- mances that anchor it. Though emphatic, determined direction and a few shockers keep the plot moving, it ultimately amounts to a level no higher than a decent episode of "24." It's exciting and features moments of exceptional effectiveness, but on the whole, "Pride and Glory" is a rather con- ventional, if slightly above-aver- age, crime movie. IMRAN SYED By JOSHUA BAYER DailyArts Writer The Cure was the crowned chameleon of '80s alternative rock, skittering anxiously from angular punk to doomy goth to sparkling dream-pop and T everything in between. This 4:13 Dream bold eclecti- Geffen cism has lent the band a sur- prisingly long shelf life. But after over three decades of ricochet- ing between genres, The Cure now seems a little bit dizzy and considerably jaded. Album opener "Underneath the Stars" really shows the group's strengths. A slowly aching heart- burn that simmers for six majes- tic minutes, the track is a genuine purging of emotional sinuses and showcases The Cure at its hap- lessly romantic best. Drenched in reverb and peppered with trick- ling wind chimes, it's the perfect song to listen to repeatedly after a particularly painful breakup. It's a shame the rest of the album lacks the goosebuinp-inducing sincerity that ripples so warmly on "Stars." According to eyeliner-smitten 'frontman Robert Smith, t4e band cranked out a whopping 93 songs during the recording session for 4:13 Dream, an album initially slated as a double-album. It's a blessing they narrowed the cuts down to one disc's worth of music. At 52 minutes, the record already feels excruciatingly long. Angry tracks like "Switch" and "It's Over" feature Smith spew- ing out atonal rants over repeti- tive song structures, constantly venting without ever achieving true intimacy. The meek chord progression meanders back and forth, never building to the emo- tional climax that's absolutely crucial with such moody music. The end of "Reasons Why" is a perfect example of the band's declining ability to climax. Lean and muscular, with airy gui- tars, crisp drums and a buoy- ant bassline, the track slinks along sexily until Smith decides it's the perfect time to bust out his monotonic caterwaul. After such cool-headed vibing, Smith's splashy howl comes off as melo- dramatic and schlocky. Even slower numbers like "Hungry Ghost" and "Perfect Boy" bring little variety to the table. They're essentially tran- quilized versions of the more tes- tosterone-soaked tracks. Smith's recent fetish for stuffing too much lyrical content down each song's throat inerferes with his typical knack for punch-drunk LIKE TO TALK ABOUT TV? GOOD. NOW WRITE ABOUT IT FOR US. Daily Arts is looking for TV writers. E-mail battlebo*@umich.edu for an appjlication. Nope - not related to Halloween at all. hooks. Without strong melodies his sexual escapades. Though it's holding the songs together, the absolutely ridiculous, the song is bulk of the album blurs into an a jolt of much-needed energy in artificially-dreamy pastel smear. such a bleary-eyed song cycle. A handful of tracks find ways The aptly titled "The Scream" to stand out, but not necessarily is an oddity, even for The Cure. It because they're good. Lead sin- starts off with promise, hinging gle "The Only One" doesn't hold on a tight.groove that slowly gets lost in a hazy swirl of guitars and synthesizers. Then Smith seems to get lost himself, letting loose Sure enough, a bloodcurdling scream and con- tinuing to "sing" in this mode for time has passed the rest of the song, redefining the term "emo" in the process. these '80s goth The whole affair feels unbeliev- ably forced and is almost embar- rockers by. rassing to listen to. Unlike The Cure's earlier material, 4:13 Dream erects an alienating wall between the lis- a candle to The Cure's radio hits tener and Smith's woozy rumi- of yore, but it's the peppiest thing nations on tainted love. Rather the band has recorded in a while. than stirring up empathy over Party-starter"Freakshow"chugs heartache and heartbreak, it alongonunabashedlytackydeath evokes pity for a once-prolific metal distortion a1 wah-wah band suffes g from a creative pedals as Smith unloads about drought.