The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

Tuesday, October 14, 2008 -5

Jingle love

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can Idol
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nce again, the Canadi- The chalkboard and coach gags
ans have ruined every- don't really have any peers and
thing. They've allowed Danny Elfman's tune alone is as
ngle greatest piece of iconic as Marge's hair. There's
e stolen from its home really not much else that needs
mmissioned some boob to be said here.
berta to replace it. After "COPS" (Debuted1989):
anada's BBC) allowed It's not possible to listen to "Bad
s to Boys" and not get a little excited.
eckey No other TV theme holds as
n much promise as the theme
i" from "COPS." Are you going to
ong see some toothless meth addicts
-e, the getting their trailer stormed by
was i officers? Are you going to see
up by some toothless meth addicts
an- MICHAEL getting bitten by a police dog?
SPN pA lg Are you goingto see some tooth-
even less meth addict's dogfight a
mething called "Sports- police dog while cops storm
) and permanently sepa- their trailer? The possibilities
om its rightful home. are endless, and it's a feeling
s wasn'tjust any theme only the "COPS" theme can
was the finest TV sports deliver.
ition ever produced "The Fresh Prince of Bel-
n that, John Tesh). It Air" (Debuted1990): You
s well have been the could make a decent argument
an national anthem. But that the theme from "The Fresh
just a throwaway jingle Prince of Bel-Air" is the hip-
le network no one out- hop song most known by white
nada can see. people ages 18 to 30.I haven't
news that CBC lost the watched a full episode of the
y Night in Canada" show in years, butI can spit back
sn't new; the story broke that theme (well, at least the
ago. Butthis weekend one that was cuta couple verses
ong was chosen to usher short for syndication) like it's
IC," dnd it's just sad. nothing. Maybe if "Hancock"
suing a challenge to all had a little rap intro I would
da to find a new "HNIC" have liked it, too.
new theme was chosen "The Wire: Season 2"
Ican onlyassume was (Debuted 2003): The Blind
nd of awkward "Ameri- Boys of Alabama version of
" with less America and "Way Down in the Hole" - the
avy-covered fries. Ulti- song featured in season one - is
the best and most accessible of
the five songs the show used
as its theme. But Tom Waits's
he first five version, used in season two, is
the show's finest, as the open-
ductions to ing bars in the first episode
TV the make it clear how much things
tem e have changed. As season two
11 of fame, of the show drastically shifted
its focus to Baltimore's ports,
Tom Waits's song is equally
far removed from the soulful,
urban theme used in season
Alberta school teacher one. Like the season itself,
berst's theme was cho- the theme is something of an
e jingle kicks off with acquired taste and takes some
s or something equally time to ease into. But after
nd it's all downhill after twelve episodes, it's clear how
on't think I'll ever be perfect it is.
ook at Don Cherry the "Mad Men" (Debuted
ay again. 2007): The entirety of "Mad
n mourning the dis- Men" can be boiled down to its
ent of one of TV's opening credits. It would be a
great themes, I'm little difficult to figure this out
ed of some of its peers without watching the show, but
re not ganked by satanic the falling ad man in the intro
tworks. So in memory is basically everything. It's the
HNIC" theme, which ultra-cool theme, however,
dead to me, I thought I which opens with a dark string
onor some of its peers arrangement and picks upa
todern TV Theme Hall strong drum track that makes
. The rules for entrance it work. I'm just surprised it
Hall are as follows: took someone this long to give
heme has to be from a the four-martini lunch a proper
w that debuted inside theme.

When the National Ninja Turtles Conference took a turn for the worse.

SEATTLE CALLING
Dramatic film revisits the 1999 WTO riots in Seattle
By Hans Yadav I Daily Arts Writer

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Capitalism has failed: the rich
get richer, and the poor just
die. In
poor countries,*
is making that
extra buck more B .e
important than Battle in
saving a human Seattle
life? Is it worth Ath
keeping the Atthe
price of medi- Michigan
cine high enough Theater
to exclude the Redwood Palms
millions who
can't afford it
while ensuring steady profits for
shareholders living comfortably in
Europe or the United States?,
"Battle in Seattle" brings these
opinions to the table by heav-
ily criticizing capitalism, specifi-
cally the policies and actions of
the World Trade Organization the
international body that establishes
trading policies between many
different countries. Acting as an
insightful and compelling drama,
the film caters to people with vary-
ing opinions of the aforementioned
topics (and of the WTO), but also
splices in documentary footage to
highlight some of the film's most
important messages.
By focusing on the protests dur-
ing the 1999 WTO conference in
Seattle, "Battle" portrays the WTO
as an image of debauched capi-
talism. Jay (Martin Henderson,
"Smokin' Aces") is the leader of a
nonviolent protest group working
against the WTO. His martyr-like
devotion to the cause, while never
fully explained, is motivated by
past and personal issues. March-

ing alongside him is his faithful
partner, Django (Andr6 Benjamin,
"Semi-Pro"). The performance
from both individuals is nothing
spectacular, but Benjamin at least
provides some much-needed humor
in an otherwise weighty movie.
The plot is simple. The evil WTO
is planning on meeting, and a group
of protesters march to prevent the
conference. But there are also sev-
eral little side stories entwined in
the movie. Ultimately, these sto-
ries provide a solid backbone to the
social commentary and criticism
the movie aspires to achieve. This
technique is eerily reminiscent of
previous works such as "Crash" and
"Babel" that use individual stories
to weave together an intricate plot
exploring deeper issues. The prob-
lem with the way "Battle" handles
this is the abundance of burdensome
dialogue throughout the film. Much
of it is important, but the plot and the
actions are much more interesting
and get across the same message.
Stuart Townsend ("Chaos The-
ory"), normally an actor, may have
been too ambitious with his direc-
torial debut, and his inexperience
shows from time to time. "Battle"
tries to do what both "Crash" and
"Babel" did marvelously, but falls a
few steps behind.
On that note, the movie would
have benefited with elaboration on
a few of the stories. Devoting more
time to the characters' trials and
less time to showing police brutality
would surely have made the movie

better. There are many repetitive
scenes showing the armor-clad
police shovingtear gas in protesters'
faces. Clearly,the repetitionis aimed
at gaining sympathy for the protest-
ers (and it works to a certain extent),
but seeing the same images again
and again becomes a nuisance.
Despite of the film's shortcom-
ings, Townsend does a good job in
his directorial debut. There are so
many powerful images - the des-
perate lobbyist begging for the

attention of indifferent reporters
for one - that produce a great deal
of emotion. In certain moments,
the characters' struggles seem so
real and so close that it's easy to see
why the WTO is the center of hate
in the movie. If you don't know
what the WTO is, the movie will
certainly fill you in. If you do, then
you'll see that the movie is clearly
biased. But it still affords a side of
the story that you probably never
thought of.

the last 20 years (you didn't
think I was going to make a list
that incorporated "Cheers,"
did you?). Unfortunately, this
disqualifies the theme from
"Greatest American Hero"
(YouTube it. Now.), which
is totally awesome, but I've
never watched more than five
minutes of the show, so I don't
think that's really fair. 2) The
theme has to fit the show well.
I'm looking for a theme that
accurately reflects the show,
not just something that's audi-
bly pleasing. 3) These must
be actual theme songs/jingles
with credit screens - not just
noises. Therefore, the "Lost"
title screen, which is pretty
badass but only 3 seconds long,
and "Seinfeld" are not eligible.
And so, I present to you, the
inaugural class of the Modern
TV Theme Hall of Fame.
"The Simpsons" (Debuted
1989): This one's a gimme. I
originally considered not includ-
ing it here because it's too easy,
but by that rationale Babe Ruth
wouldn't be in Cooperstown, so
I had to reconsider. This one is a
combination of the actual theme
and the credit sequence itself.
WANT TO
WORK FROM
THE COUCH?
* APPLY TO BE
A TV WRITER.
E-mail us for an application.
battlebots@umich.edu

Passman sings the above
jingles in the office all day.
Tell him to stop now at
passmanomichigandaily.com.

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