The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Thursday, October 9, 2008 - 38 The Michigan Daily - nichigandailycom Thursday, October 9, 2008 - 38 Down to new lows The Dow Jones Industrial Average isn't the only thing that plummeted last week. Since his three gal pals Holly, Bridget and Kendra jumped ship earlier this month, Hugh Hefner's 82-year-old penis is lower than in his pre-Cialis days. The girls, best known for starring on the E! reality series "Girls MARK Next Door," U TZ are reportedly standing guard at J. Howard Mar- shall's grave, waiting for him to rise from the dead and put them in his will. According to The Daily Tele- graph, the three bust-keteers might be leaving because of the financial troubles faced by Playboy; Hefner had to lay off many staff members two weeks ago. Of course, his per- sonal robe washer and pipe unclog- ger are still gainfully employed. You know who else doesn't have a job? Britney Spears's old flame Adnan Ghalib. That maybe why he's desperately hawking a sex tape of him and Spears to the highest bidder. The tape, which is appar- ently an excruciating two hours long, features Spears in a pink wig and, most likely, whacked out on a combination of Xanax, vodka-red bull and those silica gel packets that come with new clothes. Fortunately for Spears, her law- yers are working overtime to make sure the tape never sees the light of day and Ghalib has recently said, probably with a.45 to his head: "There is no sex tape." Right, and Bill Clinton never had sexual rela- tions with that woman. The bottom line is that Spears's sex tape will probably remain in Ghalib's VCR - at least until Spears runs out of money to pay her lawyers. But think about it: If you piece together the flurry of images from the last five years featuring Spears writhing half-naked on film and exposing every (and I mean every) part of her body, you'll probably get a decent idea of what her having sex would look like. On a completely different level ofcelebrityvoyeurism-for-bucks, a letter from a young Princess Diana - in my opinion, the over- rated Kurt Cobain of royalty - in which she pleads with her sister to marry Prince Charles, was recently sold at auction for 12,432 pounds, or $43 million. (Actually, it's about $22,000) Prince Charles must be breathing a sigh of relief right now. Whew, Chuck, thank God you held out for a princess who first eclipsed you in social and celebrity status and then These are the people we love? divorced you, and followed it up with Camilla Parker Bowles, a.k.a. the Dog-Faced Woman. Ouch. That was harsh, maybe too harsh. But, hey, you don't read this kind of stuff without expecting your sense of gentility to be offended, do ya, Cammy? Camilla may be ugly, but at least she isn't a bad parent. I wish I could say the same for Sharon Stone, who recently lost custody of her eight year-old son, allegedly because she wanted to Botox his feet. Honestly, I think it's just too damn predictable at this point to make a joke about where the So-year-old actress should really be applying Botox. Speaking of bad parents, Spears's dad Jamie - who prob- ably needs detox, not Botox - has barred his daughter from seeing some of her friends and family members, including her close cousin Alli Sims, according to TMZ. Look, Jamie: I think Brit- ney needs to be spending more time with supportive family mem- * bers and less time ... well, see the second paragraph. It seems like every celebrity who isn't making a sex tape is speaking about the upcoming election. "The Hills" pseudo-ce- * lebrity couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, a.k.a Speidi, have recently endorsed Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Pratt, using as many sen- tence fragments as Palin herself, told Hollyscoop: "Well, I got a six See GOSSIP, Page 4B Virgil Moorefield presents "Five Ideas About the Relation of Sight and Sound" this weekend at the Duderstadt Center. f you've ever looked at an advertisement and thought, "That blue really doesn't go with the letter T," you may be a synesthete. The taste of a word, the color of a number or the sound of a shape are mere poetic devices for most people. But for others, these experiences are real. Neurologists Five Ideas believe all people are synesthetes About the until about age four, but as our Relation of brains develop, these connections disappear. But not everyone loses Sight and the ability to access synethesia. Sound For as many as one in 23 people, the brain fails to disconnect these Friday and cross-sensory activations, allow- Saturday, ing the associations to continue 8p.m. - colors with letters; shapes with At the sounds; textures with smells. Duderstadt Center Even though most cases are Free genetic, synesthesia has also been reported from individuals who have experienced epileptic seizures, blindness and deafness, and also those who have used psychedelic drugs. You don't, however, need to take illicit substances or gouge out your eyes to experience synethesia - you just need to go to North Campus. Tonight and tomorrow at 8 p.m. in the Duderstadt Video Studio, Virgil Moorefield, an Associate Professor in the School of Music, will premiere his latest intermedia piece, "Five Ideas About the Relation of Sight and Sound." The word "synesthesia," derived from the Ancient Greek words meaning "with" and "sensa- tion," is the crossing of the senses, in this case those of sight and sound. The performance simulates the experience by simultaneously compiling live, acoustic music and real-time visual imagery with 7.2 surround sound and nine screens, including a custom-built 60-feet-by-10 feet "wave screen." The anticipated result of this combined media is an all- consuming sensory immersion. "We don't work with (a pre-arranged) video clip," Moorefield said. "We're actually generating a matrix, a video matrix, from the sound. So we're going directly into the computer, hitting the com- puter with audio and saying, 'Translate accordingto these rules,' and it creates a video from that." This aspect of real-time performance adds to Moorefield's concept of what he calls "comprovisa- tion," the art of composed improvisation. Certain elements are improvised in the performance space while the large-scale themes and musical scores are structured. Moorefield integrates "comprovisation" into his pieces regularly, and "Five Ideas About the Relation of Sight and Sound" is no exception. The visuals aren't arranged beforehand, but occur as the notes are played - thus giving the element of. improvisation - but the computer program behind the improvisations has been perfected over many See SIGHT, Page 4B MADMN AND SPECILIT A satirical tragedy hy the Mabel Prize-winning Arican playwright by Wale Soyinka Directed by Mbala Nkanga Dept. oft theatre & Drama Oct. 9 & 16 at 7:30PM Oct. 10, 11,17, & 18 at DPM Oct. 12 a 19 at 2PM Arthur Miler Theatre tickets $24/$9 student wIlD league Ticket Office 734-764-2538 jI Graduate School Information Fair 2008 Tuesday, October 14th The Michigan Union, 4pm-7pm Meer with over 100 graduate schools from across the country Explore options, collect application information and ask about financial aid Visit The Career Center's website for a list of schools scheduled to attend S6eaute...one day can make all the difference! Forutmoreinortonctatua: TheCareerCenter tDlsieeof StudentAffair