2A - Tuesday, September 2, 2008 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 4 2A - Tuesday. September 2, 2008 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom I I Machet I was on the Diag when I stum- bled upon a 10-foot unicycle lying on the ground. My friend was unsuccessfully imploring me to mount it when a man next to us started yelling that he was starting a show that would end with him juggling machetes on the unicycle. A volunteer from the audience was asked to lie on the ground, around which the showman sprayed lighter fluid in a circle. "Ladies and gentleman, this is water!" he said, awaiting laugh- ter from the audience. Nobody laughed, probably because they all wanted to see a guy set on fire just as much as I did. The show went on until the uni- cyclist fumbled the machete that, after first slicing his hand, fell inch- es to the volunteer who tossed it up to him. After nursing the cut on his hand without dismounting the unicycle, the showman managed to juggle the knives gracefully. So I gave him a dollar anyway. SARA LYNNE THELEN es + unicycles= ouch Woman vs. beast Clown face, please A CATHOLIC COOK-OUT Post-game relaxation was shat- tered SaturdaywhenIheardshrieks from my housemate: a bat was swooping around our living room. All my housemates, including the men, fled to their rooms. The task was up to me, As my housemates shouted reminders from behind the safety of their doors to avoid contract- ing rabies, I battled the beast with proper attire for such a feat: oven mitts, a hoodie tied so that only my eyes were visible, and a broom. I crouched, screamed, and coaxed the bat into a room with an openwindow. With amakeshiftnet (a garbage bag, packagingtape, and the broom handle) I finally cap- tured and freed the animal. Once confident that the bat was gone, my housemates emerged from their rooms, thanking me for being the man of the house. ZENAIDA RIVERA I was nearing a house party a few days ago, but saw an empty lawn, vacant patio and silent exterior. Concerned, I was soon directed by pseudo-bouncers and shuttled to the back of the house. A bustling party was waiting. When my friend tossed me a bag of customized M&M's say- ing "EECS House," - confectioned proof that the party was hosted by Electrical Engineering and Com- puter Science students - I knew the night had limitless potential. Outside on the back lawn, I sawa lot of activity around a picnic table on the lawn. Not beer pong. Not flip cup. It was a face painting sta- tion. One person was attempting a rendering of Heath Ledger's joker make-up on a guy's face and some- one else was boasting a Harry Pot- ter lightning bolt. My inklings of a successful party were confirmed. SALIMAH MOHAMED SAID ALSALAH/Daily Biology freshman Lindsay Brentin enjoys a barbecue at the St. Mary Student Parish courtyard yesterday. The outdoor cook-out was aimed at introducing people and welcoming new students to the University. t lt Midi Xan Dail 420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1327 www.michigandaily.com ANDREW GROSSMAN ELAINA BUGLI Editor is Chief Business Manager 734-647-3336 734-764-0505 grossman@michigandaily.com bugli@michigandaily.com CONTACT INFORMATION Newsroom Office hours:Sun.-Thurs.11am-32a. 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Additional copies may be picked up at the Daily's office for $2. Subscriptions for fall term, starting in SeptemberviaUSmalare.$11.WintertermJanuarythroughoApri)is$11syearlong(September through Apr)is $195. University affiliates are subject to a reduced subscription rate.On-campus sscripton dltar .subitiyonmuterepaid.TheMichigan Daiyisamemberof nTe Asoatdres and he oiatdCllegat ressn. 0 CRIME NOTES CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES MIP issued to her room, PS reported. She was taken to the emergency Mixer hosted Jazz drummer's by Sigma frat masterclass girl being toted room fr treatment. down a street Thief nabs goods WHERE: 600 Block of E. Uni- from duffel bag ira Cy acne. versity Ave. WHEN: Sunday at about 11:40 p.m. WHAT: A student from New York was being carried along the street by her friends when an officer bicycling by noticed and issued a minor of posses- sion of alcohol, the Department of Public Safety reported. . _lf WHERE: Mitclpell Field WHEN: Sunday at about 12:25 p.m. - WHAT: A student left a gym bag on the field's sideline dur- ing his rugby practice and later WHAT: A welcome week event and mixer featuring slushies and other barbecue fun WHO: Black Welcome Week, Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. WHEN: Today at 5:30 p.m. WHERE: Mary Markley Residence Hall WHAT: Gerald Cleaver, a jazz drummer from Detroit, will perform in a free concert WHO: Gerald Cleaver WHEN: Today at 2:40 p.m. WHERE: E.V. Moore Build- ing, Rehearsal Hall Christian found the bag unzipped, DPS reported. His wallet and cell prayer Imeetin phone were gone. Open house WHAT: The first in a series n at Spectrum of weekly prayer meetings. mear found on Students of all backgrounds The Michigan Football Team will hold open try- outs tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. in Schembechler Hall. Make sure to bring a signed copy of a physical form. ,Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain only met once with Alaskan gover- nor Sarah Palmn before choos- ing her as his running mate. "FOR MORE, SEE PAGE 4A 3A man who was arrest- ed for drunk driving in Iowa City, Iowa, was also charged with bribery after he offered the police officer free Jimmy Johns sandwiches if he let him go, The Press-Citi- zen reported. After the officer declined, the man allegedly replied "C'mon...Nobody's going to know" I I Housing oficer dry erase board Center injures foot WHAT: On n house to meet WHERE: Alice Llyod WHEN: Sunday at about 10:30 a.m. WHAT: A housing security officer injurfd her foot while helping a student move into WHERE: Mary Markley WHEN: Sunday at about 1p.m. WHAT: A resident found the word "gay" written on a door's dry erase board, DPS reported. The board was erased. the center's staff and other new community members WHO: The Spectrum Center WHEN: Today from 4:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. WHERE: Michigan Union, Room 3200 welcome. WHO: University Christian Outreach WHEN: Tonight at 8 p.m. WHERE: Campus Chapel, 1236 Washtenaw Ct. Please report any error in the Daily to corrections@ michigandaily com. Gonzales mishandled classified notes, memo says E.U. leaders: Talks with Russia halted until troops leave Georgia WASHINGTON (AP) - Former Attorney General Alberto Gonza- les mishandled highly classified notes about a secret counterter- ror program, but not on purpose, according to a memo by his legal team. The memo, obtained by The Associated Press, acknowledges that Gonzales improperly stored notes about the program and might have taken them home at one point. Removing secret documents from specially secured rooms vio- lates government policy. Gonzales'lawyers wrote intheir memo that there is no evidence the security breach resulted in secret information being viewed or oth- erwise exposed to anyone who was not authorized. The classified notes focus on a March 2004 meeting with con- gressional leaders about a national security program that was about to expire. Efforts to renew the program sparked an intense Bush administration debate that played out at the hospital bedside of then- Attorney General John Ashcroft. The memo was prepared by Gonzales' legal team as a response BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) - Europeany Union leaders warned Russia yesterday that talks on a wide-ranging political and eco- nomic agreement would be post-" poned unless Russian troops pull back from positions in Georgia. The threat to delay talks set for this month on the "partnership and cooperation agreement" with Russia came after Britain and east- ern European nations held out for atougherline. ButEurope's depen- dence on Russian oil and natural gas deterred stronger sanctions. "I think we found an excellent compromise (by) not going back to business as usual, but still mak- ing clear that we want to maintain contact with Russia," said German Chancellor Angela Merkel. At a four-hour meeting, the leaders ordered EU bureaucrats to study alternative energy sources 4 to reverse growing dependence on Russia, which supplies a third of the EU's oil and 40 percent of its natural gas. The Bush administration wel- comed the EU's move. 4 "This extraordinary EU sum- mit demonstrates that Europe and the United States are united 1I p um market- Offering our guests the very best selection of natural, organic, local & specialty items in a full-service shopping experience. www.plummarket.com I - hUuuK Eu....El Arbortapud3l e 32.0 5. 4 I &