6 S S 0 0 tement Unfit for "The Real World" t started as a joke. A friend told me this spring that MTV's "Real World" was accepting casting applications on its website for the show's 22nd season, so we both sent in our name, age and a picture and promptly forgot about it. But then, a few weeks ago, an e-mail appeared in my Gmail with "RW Casting" in the subject line. The Real World crew was coming to Scorekeepers on Saturday, Sept. 20 and that I was-invited to come to the casting call, with a guest, as a "VIP applicant." Well, what the hell? I thought. I might as well go all the way on this one. When I told a few of my friends I was going to try out, their reac- tions were mostly the same - disbe- lief, then laughter. "You should just tell them that you love to have sex and throw up on television," they advised. I chose the friend I had originally applied with as my guest. He wanted to go to the casting call and act like a stereotypical "bro" - popped collar, raspy voice and an air of arrogance. We went into it with low expectations. And we quickly found out it really was that bad. It was when we were approach- ing Skeeps that our decision to try out looked less like a snarky inside joke and more like a bad idea. Girls in low-cut tops and skimpy dresses were leaning against the front of the building, filling out applica- tions. A teenager in a white, collared shirt and spiky, gelled blonde hair strolled past us on the way into the bar - his fake diamond studs were so big that his earlobes sagged from the weight. The first part of the application asked if we had ever acted profes- sionally and where we attended school. The second half was a list of short-answer questions like, "What do you want to be when you grow up, and will you use the Real World to pursue those interests?" and "What is your most embarrassing moment?" We had to describe how well we get along with our parents, what we look for in a "mate" and how our friends would describe us. The g tion nex space on was feve I looked cation. F written' WI m I attribute Once waited casting had com two or1 trying o Master of Engineering in Manuf Creating Global Professionals ;uy filling out his applica- support. We watched football until t to us had used up all the a casting assistant came up and the front of the paper and directed seven of us to a long table rishly writing on the back. in the back of the bar. over at my friend's appli- The "tryout" was simply a or "best attribute," he had 20-minute group chat with one "ghetto booty"; for "worst of the casting directors, a twenty- something woman in jeans and T-shirt. She asked us to go around the table and introduce ourselves. hen I stopped Besides the guy in the diamond studs, our group included a husky )eing polite guy who proudly proclaimed dur- ing that he was "Kwame's cousin" oanda 19-year-old girl whose mother sat at atable behind us for the entire iourning my interview. "Where's a good place to start?" g n a o the casting director asked us after the introductions. "Sex," replied Kwame's cousin. "Well, why don't we start with ," it only said "my tail." oral sex?" the director responded, we finished registering, we not missing a beat. about 30 minutes for our Having been acquainted for only group to be called. Nobody minutes, our seven-person group e alone - alot of people had shared our attitudes on oral: "Yes three friends who weren't or no, should oral sex be consid- ut but were just there for ered sex?" The conversation then evolved into a comparison of the merits of dating versus sleeping around. Most of the group agreed a ctu i n git was easier for young people to actUring justhook up, no strings attached. Then the casting director want- ed to know what we thought about politics. It was painfully clear that kets require a new the people around that table knew repare students with more about past seasons of the ence they need to Real World than they knew about field of global current events. One girl said she was voting for John McCain - because of his in Manufacturing is experience in Vietnam, he would gra m with an know best how to manage the Iraq d curriculum war. Another girl, who said she cience. A group was pro-life but anti-war, said she tudents real-world had to "do her research" because she wasn't sure where McCain and Barack Obama stood on issues. ties for global study DiamondStudswastheonlyone with strong political views. The teen explained at length how the xess, United States has had the oppor- cturing, tunity tocapture Osamabin Laden terials, visit wring/ iring!WHAT sachusetts PERSONAL tute of nology E-mail submissions to TheS several times but has let him go free. He was stealing the show and loving it, and the rest of the table looked on silently. Eventually, the casting director interrupted and posed a question that everyone at that table could answer - if you could hook up with one celebrity, who would it be? Britney Spears. Sid Crosby. Rosa- rio Dawson. And a porn star for Kwame's cousin.That got every- one interested in the conversation again. Finally, mercifully, time was up. As a closing remark, we had say one word that best described ourselves. My friend and I had been mak- ing side comments the whole time, prompting dirty looks from the casting director. I decided on aword that would ensure I wouldn't be get- ting a callback: "Smartass." Diamond Studs looked at me. "That's two words, not one," he said smugly. "It can be both," I said, rolling my eyes and leaving the table. I was almost out of earshot when I heard him sayto the casting direc- tor, "If I have to use one word, it would be 'awesome.' But if I can use two words like that girl did, they would be 'super awesome."' Right before I left, I bumped into a friend who was working the door. He rolled his eye's when he found out we had just left the casting call. "I have so much less respectfor you right now," he said. I said it had been worth it - at least we got a few good stories out of it. "You definitely should have seen this one guy at our table," I told him. "What an idiot." The casting director, talking on her cell phone near us, took her phone away from her ear to respond to my comment. "Excuse me," she said indignant- ly. "I thought he was nie." And that was our cue to leave. -Courtney Ratkowiak is a senior sports editor for The Michigan Daily 'S YOUR STATEMENT? tatement@michigandaily.com Manufacturing is more important than ever, in the U.S. and around the world. , 5% 10'% 15% 20% 25' Percent of Global Value-Added Manufacturing, 2005 Source: United Nations Statistics Division New technologies and mar kind of professional. We p the knowledge and experiE become innovators in the f manufacturing. The Master of Engineering an intensive one-year progp integrated, project-oriente grounded in engineering s project in industry gives st experience. Fellowships and opportunit are available., ES! Become a leader in manufacturing and learn the pro product, system, and business aspects of manufa For more information, including application ma - http://web.mit.edu/meng-manufactL TrO DETROIT University grads are returning to the city their parents left behind. (See Page 4B) Master of Engineering Program MIT Room 31-230 77 Massahssetts Aenue Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139 617-258-5622 menginfo@mit.edu '''sInstTech