The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Monday, January 14, 2008 - SA
ARTS IN BRIEF
service announcement. Kids, don't
Name of the King do "Dungeon Siege."
BLAKE GOBLE
is a lazy and stupid
fantasy rehash NBC remake
The ghosts
of horror
films past LEFT:"Y
'Orphanage' finds Bayona crafted something the
horror genre doesn't see often: a
the fear that's been great film.
A Spanish orphanage is
lost in horror films reopeninginmodernSpain,and
of late its past is muddled in the eyes
of the new operators, Laura
(Belen Rueda, "Savage Grace")
By BLAKE GOBLE and her husband. Laura used to
DailyArts Writer be a resident of the orphanage,
a place for unique children.
It's been a while since we've She has decided to clear the
been genuinely scared by a house and re-open it with her
movie. "I Am Legend" came own son Simon in mind (new-
close. So did "Knocked Up" - comer Roger Princep). Simon's
well, unintentionally. But there ill, and it hangs a pall over his
havebeennext parents.
to no horror One day at a nearby beach,
films lately young Simon wanders into a
that have truly The cave, where his mother finds
startled. him talking to an unseen friend.
To brand Orphanage Laura brushes it off as another
"The Orphan- At Showcase imaginary friend for Simon,
age" as a hor- Picturehouse but something's not quite right.
ror film is a bit Countless treasure hunts ensue.
unfair. This is New imagined friends keep
one of those rare ghost stories showing up. Items mysteri-
that is actually compelling. So ously vanish within the house.
atmospheric, tense, emotional Though cute at first, the inci-
and competent a film is this that dents become more and more
it goes beyond the trappings sinister.
of that unfortunate genre. No At the opening party of the
brass soundtrack shocks, point- renovated facility, Simon disap-
less nudity or gratuitous blood pears. Without giving away too
is to be found here. In one of much, the film makes its way
the most promising directorial into a mysterious and dizzy-
debuts in recent memory, J.A. ing search for the missing boy.
URTESY OF PICTUREHOUS
"In the Name of the King: A Dun-
geon Siege Tale"
At Showcase and Quality 16
Freestyle
"In the Name of the King: A Dun-
geon Siege Tale" is like Grand-Theft
Tolkien, a lazy pastiche of recent
fantasy fare, with standards so low
it doesn't care how obviously it
steals from other films. Yet another
low in the craptacular career of Ger-
man filmmaker Uwe Boll, "Dungeon
Siege" is a movie you just don't need
to see.
The plot is as bare-bones as it
gets: A peasant (Frodo), is attacked
by goblins (Ores) and must help his
king obtain status (Aragorn) and
face an evil wizard king to save his
wife (any movie). Yet at over two
hours, it's harder to finish than the
Boston Marathon.
"Dungeon Siege" is a big budget
fiasco in which every lapse in judg-
ment shows up right on the screen.
The dialogue seems to have been
written by a 10-year-old, scenes
are like pieces of a loose puzzle
and the acting is pitiful consider-
ing the somewhat recognizable cast
- what did Jason Statham (Farmer,
"Revolver") do to be in this? In fact,
the only worthwhile aspect of this
film may be the opportunity to play
drinking games every time Burt
Reynolds's (King Konreid, "The
Longest Yard") hair shifts.
Director Uwe Boll is an idiot,
plainandsimple.Hetriesreallyhard
to be a notorious schlock filmmaker,
making B-level films that could be
fun. But "Alone inthe Dark,""House
of the Dead" and
"Bloodrayne"
are embarrass-
ing, and "Dun-
geon Siege" is no
different.
Think
of this
las a
public
surprisingly
entertaining
ou seriously don't want to see this side of my face."
The elephant man in his formative years
Months go by, all hope seems
lost. Laura becomes mania-
cal searching for her lost child,
desperate for at least one more
embrace. Harkening back to
classic mystery fare such as
"Don't Look Now" or even "Pol-
tergeist," this is "The Searchers"
of Spanish thrillers. An unre-
lenting quest by Laura, we feel
her pain and loss, yetnbelieve her
and want to support her desper-
ately.
"The Orphanage" is a case
study in how a film can be both
smart and scary. It's a standard,
old-school ghost story, one
that's reminiscent of Val Lew-
ton. You develop your leads so
that sympathy is earned, not
manipulated. Set design and
photography marry to create
an eerily accented, yet beauti-
ful, place to set a film. Music
and sound coexist to confuse
one another, never allowing
the audience to be entirely sure
of what might happen. View-
ers never know what's around
the corner, whether they'll be
assaulted by another horrify-
ing image or simply relieved
something's over. Just try and
sit through the medium's house
exam or Laura's petrified noises
without feeling something.
It all leads up to a contested
conclusion that will leave audi-
ences feeling either cheated or
heart-warmed. After the slight
confusion over the premise, and
some possible controversy about
the liberties taken from other
works, "The Orphanage" comes
to stand on its own as a mas-
terful work of suspense. Som-
ber and sad, the film becomes
a meditation on love for others,
regardless of circumstance. It's
surprisingly touching.
It's easy to pop something
up in front of a screen and
make someone jolt. Anyone
can do that on Halloween. But
to actually terrify an audience
and keep them emotionally
invested at the same time sel-
dom happens in the genre any-
more. This film works well. It
should be noted that Guillermo
Del Toro ("Pan's Labyrinth")
presented this film. Similar to
"Labyrinth" in its sleepily scary
aesthetic, "The Orphanage"
makes a fine, arguably superior
companion piece.
Seeing this film is like a purg-
ing breathe of fresh air. It's
alright to be frightened, because
it only means "The Orphanage"
is doing something right. J.A.
Bayona has made an engaging
and bittersweet spectral drama
- one that shouldn't be missed.
"American Gladiators"
Mondays at 8 p.m.
N BC
Never before was it so appropri-
ate to yell, "Oh, shit!" while watch-
ing a game show.
NBC's recently updated "Ameri-
can Gladiators" centers on amateur
athletes competing against fright-
ening muscle-headed "gladiators"
for a chance at $100,000. Unlike
the '90s version, the Hulk Hogan-
hosted remake focuses more on the
contestants' backgrounds than the
sheer power of the opposing gladi-
ators, forcing us to cheer for toilet
paper saleswomen.
The challenges are as exhaust-
ing to watch as they are pleasing
to ridicule. With instructions like,
"get ball in hole," it's clear you don't
need an elementary school educa-
tion to become a TV star - just del-
toids the size of Cadillacs.
As the "Gladiators" host, Hogan
is the only unnecessary element;
his main role is to shove a micro-
phone in the contestant's face after
challenges and ask, "How did that
feel, brother?" Even more unnec-
essary: his bandanna. We know
you're bald, Hulk. Quit hiding your
shame.
But while it's obnoxiously tes-
tosterone-heavy (and sometimes
just stupid), "American Gladiators"
successfully fills the void left by the
recent absence of "Monday Night
Football."
JOHN DAAVETTILA
SINGLE REVIEW
"BUBBLE POP"
DEL THA FUNKEE HOMOSAPIEN
****
K nown in most households as the guy that rapped on the
Gorillaz's breakout hit "Clint Eastwood," Del tha Fun-
kee Homosapien has actually had a rather prolific career.
On the verge of his fifth proper album, Jlth Hour - and first
since 2000 - Del's "Bubble Pop" is the perfect display of
his playful rhymes and outlandish beats. Sampling "Peter
Piper" by Run DMC (the same sample Missy Elliot uses at
the end of her Billboard smash "Work It"), the production
is a swarming coalescence of jingling bells and looped, fad-
ing horn lines. But the song suffers from the painfully inane
chorus ("Why do you think that you are all that /'Cause you
ain't"). And though it's promising to have Del in the lime-
light again, this single isn't overly promising.
CHRIS GAERIG
Indie film boasts
old school acts
By SASHA RESENDE
Daily Arts Writer
Common sense doesn't normal-
ly associate an unplanned teenage
pregnancy with anti-folk anthems
and wacky indie-
pop tunes. How-
ever, "Juno" * **'
isn't your typical
knocked-up tale. Various
The film follows ArtiStS
the tribulations
of 16-year-old Juno OST
Juno, a sarcastic, Rhino
anti-establish-
ment adolescent
who finds herself pregnant after
a one-night romp with her best
friend.
Juno's quirky and unaffected
attitude is reflected through a
series of songs spanning over
four decades, ranging from early
Kinks hits to catchy Tigermilk
tracks. These pop-rock staples are
accompanied by a series of cutesy
melodies by folk heroes and solo
vocalists. It makes sense that one
of the quirkiest movies marketed
to an indie-friendly audience in
2007 also has one of the quirkiest,
indie-friendly soundtracks of the
previous year.
"Juno" reportedly received
its lo-fi-inspired feel from a sug-
gestion by Ellen Page, who plays
Juno. When director Jason Reit-
man asked the young actress what
music she thought her charac-
ter listened to, Page suggested
the late- '90s anti-folk band the
Moldy Peaches. Sure enough, the
Peaches's playful acoustic tracks
serve as both the film's and the
soundtrack's backbone. While only
one original Peaches song appears
on the soundtrack, the atypical
forlorn love song "Anyone Else But
You," several solo tracks from the
band's female voice, Kimya Daw-
son, serve as substitutes. Dawson's
raw, inspired ballads - sung in a
playful voice over simple acoustic
guitar - perfectly narrate the ado-
lescent angst and teenage affec-
tion that permeates the film. These
tracks, which focus on childhood
symbols like tire swings and inno-
cent crushes, reflect the naivete
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of the i
as they
issues.
Reitm
rest of t
of song:
pop ("A
Th
reS
. e
md
The Ki
post-pu
Youth)
tish it
and "Pi
by Bell
movie's young characters None more emo.
deal with very grown-up
only deviants from this fun and
nan and company fill the widely varied collection is the
he soundtrack with a mass soundtrack's designated love bal-
s ranging from '60s garage lad, "Sea of Love." It's sung in a
Well Respected Man" by soulful, haunting voice by the tal-
ented folk vocalist Cat Power. Far
from clich6, the slowly-sung track
perfectly captures the agonies of
ie film's lead unrequited love and the inability to
express such emotions. Her strong
actress is yet soft voice contrasts perfectly
with the raw and unpolished guitar
sponsible for strings. The combination is simple
and yet creates an uncannily flow-
ie mainstays ing effect for the listener.
While the soundtrack offers a
solid collection of eclectic tracks
from the past half-century, the
nks) to '80s experimental album is somewhat slowed down
nk ("Superstar" by Sonic by the numerous skit-like songs
to contemporary Scot- scattered throughout. While these
ndie-pop ("Expectations" minute-long cuts work well within
iazza, New York Catcher" the context of the film, they sound
e & Sebastian). One of the awkward on the soundtrack and
take away from the album's playful
feel. Rather than including these
on the album, the soundtrack's pro-
ducers would have been better off
using a few songs played through-
out the film, but excluded from the
distributed soundtrack.
Although the soundtrack is solid
as a whole, the songs selected for
the album do not reflect young
Juno's stated musical taste. Early
into the film, Juno expresses her
love for late-'70s punk rock and she
has an elaborate musical exchange
with her unborn baby's adoptive
father. Despite these proclama-
tions, the soundtrack is devoid
of any early punk flavor, instead
choosing to go down the route of
folk melodies and stripped-down
beats. In spite of these shortcom-
ings, the soundtrack still offers a
solid listen for Io-fi enthusiasts and
"Juno"-lovers alike.