The Michigan Daily - michigandailytcom

Thursday, March 20, 2008-

I

Gaming obsessions
die hard

By DAVID WATNICK
Daily Arts Writer
I recently recovered from an
addiction. Or, if you subscribe to
some counseling model, I'm still
recovering. Whatever. But I'm
talking about an addiction of a
most serious kind. It's a sinister
addiction, the mere thought of
which afflicts mothers of male col-
lege students with recurring night-
mares. I'm talking about video
games, and Wii bowling was my
drugofchoice.
As a warning to those of you
thinking of trying it, consider the
destruction that a one-time use can
cause. Let me share the story of my
gateway experience.
Half-heartedly attempting to
escape the suburban bore my home
presented to me during Thanks-
giving break, I strolled out my
back door one evening the same
way I had begun so many plain
evenings of my youth. Crossing
my backyard, I traced the same
tree branch-dodging, fence-hop-
ping path I've known since I was
seven, arriving at the house of my
dearest friend Max for a night of
talk, TV, video games and snack-
ing on whatever his mom had
bought at Costco that week. I was
hoping for chips and guacamole.
But soon, none of that would
matter.
As I planted myself on the
couch in Max's family room,
I found the familiar, obsolete
gaming consoles of my adoles-
cence had been replaced with
the petite and unassuming
- yet supposedly unimagin-
ably awesome - Nintendo Wii.
When it comes to video games,
I'm bordering on a Luddite,
endlessly preferring a game of
Ken Griffey, Jr. Baseball on my
Nintendo 64 to whatever fla-
vor-of-the-week game you're
playing on your newfangled
machine. So I had yet to donate
an instant of my precious time
to this impure system.
But I'm no chicken, so when
I was offered a game of bowl-
ing on Wii Sports with my
other friends watching, I placed
that fat white magic wand in
my hand and prepared to put
my virgin skills to the test. No
instructions for me, thank you.
of course, my first few rolls
were pretty amateur: no strikes,
no spares. I decided to swallow
my pride and at least examine
Max's technique: bigbackswing,
explosive surge forward, abrupt
snap of the wrist. I understood.
I was ready.
I set my feet, took a sizeable
backswing, thrust the control-
ler forward and ... oh shit. Before
my brain could process what was
occurring, the controller was
ripped from my hand on inad-
vertent contact with a chair,
careened off the coffee table and
struck the top corner of the fami-
ly's brand new bigger-than-yours
plasma screen TV. As the con-
troller came to rest on the car-
pet, a big, black bullet hole-style
shatter wound appeared on the
corner of the screen; a hideous
spider web permanently imbed-
ded in the picture like the freeze
frame of the moment seared onto
my retina.
Absolutely humiliated, I
retreated to the couch, hung my

head in
never to
My i
pain. I
needed
diatelyJ

j

shame and resigned to All the shame and destruction of
'uch a Wii again. my first time was erased from my
nsides were wrought with mind and body by the euphoria of
was in utter agony, and I trying it again. I didn't care whose
a way out. And I imme- TV was broken in my wake; I was
found it: another game of hooked.
And on it went for months. I
need not bore you with the details
of my full-fledged addiction, but
O ne man's let's just say Wii took priority over
life's more important things. Like
journey to studying.
Now that I'm finally clean, I
vercom ing hope others can learn from my
experience. If you're ever caught
the W up in Wilike I was, an experience
I would wish upon no one, I leave
you with one more piece of advice:
If you're ready to kick the habit,
wling. The only emotional there's no better remedy than
nce more powerful than bowling a 300. It worked for me.
of quitting a game of Wii oh, and the 7-10 split pickup didn't
is beginning a new one. hurt either.

Wi bov
experie]
the pain
bowling



4%
4%
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/ Music & Lyrics by David Yazbek
/ Book by Terrence McNally
Based on the Motion Picture Released by
Fox Searchlight Pictures and
Written by Simon Beaufoy

'I

Directed by Alex Bisker

FRIDAY MARCH 21 8 pm
SATURDAY MARCH 22 8 pm
SUNDAY MARCH 23 2 pm
Power Center for the Performing Arts
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$ 13 Adults
Tickets available at Michigan League Ticket Office
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Music Directed by Brian E. Buckner
Choreographed by Ashley Williams
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