The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, January 16, 2008 - 5A SThou shalt nc see ti Despite a cast of headliners, 'First Sunday' fails to garner any laughs By IMRAN SYED Daily Arts Writer Idon't know that much about rap, but apparently Ice Cube was really good at it. And that makes me feel better about what I have to say about his new movie "First Sunday," an honest, though disastrous attempt at a meaningful family comedy. Further attempting to build up the ill-fitting, unnecessary persona First Sunday established in "Are We There Yet?" and its even At Quality 16 more hapless sequel, and Showcase Ice Cube plays Durell, a Screen Gems hardworking, down-on- his-luck man struggling to stay afloat. Threatened with the possi- bility of never seeing his son again when his mother decides she'll have to move out of state to make a living, Durell needs to find $17,000 right away. His friend Lee- John (Tracy Morgan, "30 Rock") banks on a lucrative deal involving black market sales of pimped-out wheelchairs (complete with custom leather and 24-inch rims), but when that goes awry, Durell and LeeJohn are left more desperate than ever. And desperate people do desperate things. For Durell and LeeJohn, that means breaking into a church and steal- ing from its vault. That's not as easy as it From Bush to Lil' Wayne in four steps COURTESY OF SCREEN GEMS "No seriously, the fish was this big." may seem. Through their ordeal, the two friends will learn to do the right thing, and at least one of them will possibly find Jesus, but the laughs are thin and the moral undertones are about as perceptive as the foreign affairs suppositions of "xXx: State of the Union." This movie wants to do the right thing, which is commendable, and there's cer- tainly an attempt made to criticize the selfish, near-sighted thinking that leads people to their own destruction. However, trivialized and watered-down to a mind- numbing degree, the message is easily ignored, while the sophomoric gags and one-liners keep coming. There are funny moments, of course, just not nearly enough to lift the film to the status of anything more than a wasted Friday evening. Ice Cube, who, to be fair, has seen bet- ter acting days ("Three Kings," "Friday"), hardly has the emotional wherewithal to sustain a two-minute father/son heart-to- heart on screen, let alone an entire movie built around the concept of a well-mean- ing father struggling for his son. That's not to say he doesn't have a soft side - I'm sure he does, and I'm sure it's great - but this simply isn't a role he is suited for, or one that he can excel in. While Will Smith may have the versatility to pull off a tear-jerker like "The Pursuit of Happyness" in addi- tion to throwing down in "Independence Day," most other actors should be con- tent with finding one screen persona that works for them and sticking with it. Morgan - the former "Saturday Night Live" standout who has recently gained credibility amongst the wine and cheese crowd for his spot-on satire in "30 Rock" - has generally been a non-factor in his big screen performances, limited to banal roles such as an effeminate inmate in "The Longest Yard" and the guy who keeps asking "Is 'Martin' on yet?" in "Head of State." Here, in what is his first starring film role, he is wasted in ironically the same type of derogatory, meaningless comedic antics that he pokes fun at in "30 Rock." His character feigns depth and seems genuinely likeable, but, hung up in between empty drama and equally vapid jokes, there's almost nothing here to make him worth watching. The standards aren't all that high on a film like "First Sunday." Regardless of what old, purist critics may say (and they haven't said anything good), this film is a success if it makes people laugh. The problem is that it fails to do that while trivializing its wholesome premise and well-meaning cast. The formative years of my musical taste is something of a blur. Some- where in the past 15 years, I went from listening to Bush to Metal- lica (full disclosure) to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones to Mogwai to, now, Lil Wayne. Like most pre-teens, I followed the trends. I loved Deep Blue Some- thing when they released "Break- fast at Tiffany's." Live's' "Light- ning Crashes" and Bush's "Machinehead" were instant hits. These were CHRIS the songs of my GAERIG youth, and I devoured them in all their 89X/MTV/what-have-you glory. I grew up during the peak of the alternative craze - a time when, seemingly, every hack that picked up a guitar released a good song, if not entire album. Think about it: Blues Traveler, Gin Blossoms, Fuel, Creed, Bush, Oasis, Counting Crows and Garbage. While groups like the Pixies were exploding in the college- radio/indie-rock scene, mainstream radio had its own set of stars and Billboard toppers. But as these groups aged, so too did their formula and the wide- spread production ofthese incredible singles. "Hey Jealousy" gave way to "Last Resort" The airwaves became flooded with cookie-cut pop-punkers like Papa Roach and Blink 182. The ingenuity and catchy hooks dissolved into a mass of 7-string guitars and rocking-out-with-one's-cock-out. It seemed for some time that mainstream music had been com- pletely ruined. There was nothing worthwhile on the radio, MTV was a vapid wasteland and with each new, passing fad, it seemed like the popu- lar realm was moving more towards banality, lacking all originality and those famously singable choruses. But like nature, the mainstream always finds a way. In the past several years, despite what anyone tells you, popular music has found its savior in mainstream hip hop. I know what you're thinking: "Aesop Rock and Talib Kweli are the only legitimate rappers and any- one who glorifies the thug lifestyle is (insert derogatory adjective)." To you: I call bullshit. Not only is the indie-/conscious-rap genre typically played out and overly aggrandized, but also, there's much more to the tracks constantly spinning at your local hip-hop radio station. Let's take, for example, 50 Cent. A top-to-bottom atrocious rapper, 50 released one of the better gangster rap albums of the last decade in Get Rich orDie Tryin' (not to be confused with his film of the same name). The breakthrough single "In Da Club" IN CONCERT still gets played at clubs and parties, while it boasts the most memorable chorus sung by a dude with a drawl- ing slur this side of Kanye West's "Through the Wire." Get Rich also produced singles "What Up Gang- sta," "21 Questions," "Wanksta" and "P.I.M.R." aside from all of the incredible album tracks like "Many Men" and "High All the Time." Many attribute the album's suc- cess to Dr. Dre's production, argu- ing that anyone could make a great album with that many great beats. And while that may be true, it doesn't matter. 50 Cent released a great album by whatever means. Similarly, the Virginian duo Clipse and the Houston goliath Slim Thug have both released classic albums with the help of wonder-producers the Neptunes. Though both artists have impeccable flow on their own, their recent albums Hell Hath No Fury and Already Platinum, respec- tively, were essentially guaranteed to be stellar with the help of these astounding beats. But even though not all main- stream MCs are afforded the luxury of an entire disc of mixtape-worthy beats like 50, Clipse and Slim Thug, everyone seems to be dropping Why mainstream music isn't all bad sugar-sweet hooks and explosive singles. Fat Joe - who has, arguably, the worst lyricism and flow in recent memory - released the incred- ibly catchy "Lean Back" even in the face of his own ineptitude, while artists like Rihanna can release an "Umbrella" without batting an eye. Say what you will about Unk, "Walk It Out" is one hell of a club banger. Everyone complains that this mindsetmeansthe deathoftherecord industry - the focus on singles rather than outstanding albums - but this is the way its always been. It's difficult to pin down the best albums from the Motown/Stax period because of their insistence on high-flying sin- gles. Hell, the mid-'90s were all about the singles. How else would anyone remember Creed? Faced will all of this, it becomes clear that we're currently experienc- ing the golden age of mainstream hip hop - as bothersome as that might be for some people. But those people have tolearnthatgreatmusic isn't all about being "deep" and "arty." The '00s will be remembered as the shift from legitimate pop-rock to pop-hip hop. Just let it happen. Or just "Lean with it, rock with it." Gaerig's favorite Friday-night activity is singing "Breakfast at Tiffany's." E-mail him at cgaerig@ umichedu to sing with him. I ew Mafia' In ftown doesn' look to be ahit By DAVE REAP the City" movie coming out Daily Arts Writer this summer. - -- Now, how does this sound? Four overly-aroused mid- Four, slightly more attractive, dle-aged women living in New overly-aroused middle-aged York City. Ring a bell? If you're women living in New York City. drawing a That's the not-quite-novel con- blank, then ** cept behind ABC's "Cashmere you probably Mafia." "Cashmere Mafia" is haven't seen Cashmere pretty much "Sex and the City" I HBO for the - note that the two even have past 10 years. Mafia the same executive producer, Everyone and Wednesdays DarrenStar. Butthe show's lack their brother, ato10 p.m. of creativity may not be such a or in this case bad thing. ABC's just trying to sisterhasseen ABC give "Sex and the City" fans an episode of more of what they want to see "Sex and the City." The show on network television. There's was tremendously successful even a small chance that ABC - hell, there's even a "Sex and can improve on a battle-tested "Here's to being in Lucy Lui's shadow." TV for Girl" d In diffict Mafia three eleme It's ti wit on versit' girl w her tr portra as ha tives i home: shoul womel Blacki their simult sonal group makes ing pl the pil off ag promo to the a-day dimen Mafia "Sex,. rmula like CW's "Gossip Liu is the primary draw lid with Fox's "The O.C." here as the three other mafia order to accomplish this members, Frances O'Connor ult task, "Cashmere ("Bedazzled"), Miranda Otto puts a lot of stock in ("War of the Worlds") and potentially compelling Bonnie Somerville ("NYPD nts - BlackBerries, Uni- Blue") have little TV or film experience. But, the show's success won't hinge on Liu's like 'Sex and performance, but on how the girls interact with one another. he City' but While the four have the poten- tial to form an entertaining th jobs ... and quartet, they still have a long way to go until they get to the network TV same league as the "Sex and the City" group. The most intriguing element of the pilot came in the form of Somerville's character, Caitlin y alum Lucy Liu and a Dowd. She breathes life into a ho is trying to discover show that would otherwise be ue sexual identity. The too repetitive. Dowd is a mar- yal of the four women keting executive with a tough rd-working top execu- New York accent and is without s incessantly hammered a husband or kids. In the pilot, to decide when they she begins a relationship with d meet for drinks all four another woman. Somerville, n must whip out their not Liu, is the primary reason Berries to glance over for watching the show because schedules. While the her character provides much- aneous checking of per- needed breaks from segments planners gets old, the dealing with jobs, husbands 's fixation on their jobs and children. for somewhat captivat- As hard as it may try, it seems ot lines. For example, in all but certain that "Cashmere lot, one of the girls faced Mafia" will never overtake ainst her husband for a its predecessor in popularity tion that ultimately led or fame. But by utilizing the ir separation. The work- "Sex and the City" formula, world gives another with moderate tweaking here sion to "Cashmere and there, "Cashmere Mafia" ," making it more like should draw in enough viewers Jobs and the City." to achieve some success. "l COURTESY OF ABc You'l see none of these people naked. This show's not on HBO. 4.