The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, December 4, 2007 - 5 ALB', RVIEW the flow Dine Jason! Christmas film as it should be ow that it's December, it's officially OK to talk about Christmas. Stores began putting up lighted trees and garlands on Halloween, and "Fred Claus" came out in early November, but now Thanksgiving is over and it's time to get festive. For me, and it seems nearly every network on television, it's time to start watching the endless parade of Christmas-movie marathons that air until the fat man slides his way down the chimney. 4 Everyone's seen "A Christmas Story" because the TBSnetwork} plays the clas- PAUL sic as if it's the TASSI only movie ever made about this COURTESY OF DEF JAM holiday; and as charming as it is, we really don't need to watch "A Char- lie Brown Christmas" for 4,000th licate piano keys. time. And don't get me started on ance, Ghost could "It's a Wonderful Life." Lil Wayne whose There are the obvious staples of off the Drought Christmas movie viewing, and then utilizes the same there are those that are much less matic ingredients obvious. Often overlooked in a genre a more authentic flooded with classics like "Miracle derness. on 34th Street" and disasters like se sub-par second "Deck the Halls," these films will o is salvaged by a make even the most sour Scrooge ngly solid bonus smile. Ghostface like Denzel's intro in American Gangster - he's both violent and at his most compassionate. But it's not really compassion. You know Ghost is lyrically playful just going to keep the girls and add interest to their debts before By GABRIEL BAKER ultimately smoking them. DailyArts Writer As soon as the motorcycle rev of second track "Tony Sigel" sinks Ghostface Killah is ridicu- in, you can tell Ghostface is more lously consistent. Each one of his than ready. And once he gets individual albums plays out like a started, it seems like he can't be stunner, some stopped. There's something abso- even garnering lutely captivating about his flow essential status *7NN as it weaves from topical refer- (Supreme Clien- ence to anecdote in an abstract, tele). TheBigDoe GhostfaCe almost poetic way. Even when Rehab follows Killah his verses seem consumed by ten- adequately in sion or violence, Ghost is capable this vein, even The Big Doe of delivering an unexpected gem if it's not quite Rehab to lighten the mood. On "We Cel- the revolution- Def Jam ebrate," Ghost raps, "Now I'm in ary sound that the middle / Watch is all chiseled a Ghostface / I can holla at the bird like Doc- releasehastendedtobe.The album tor Doolittle / 'What's that in ya finds plenty ofsupport from Theo- pocket, Ghost?' / A dill pickle / dore Unit and Wu-Tang members 'Not that!' / Oh that's just the 45 but, as is almost always the case, stainless nickel." it's Ghost's stream-of-conscious- On "White Linen Affair," Ghost ness flow and impeccable delivery blurs the distinctions between that dictates the record. skit, song and concept. Playing Think of the first minute of host to an awards show for hip The Big Doe Rehab as Ghostface hop's biggest names, Ghostface is Killah's don-like portrait. He the MC, the coordinator and the strolls into the cabana with his facilitator. He introduces celebri- entourage surroundingsome poor ties, announces special perform- fools who thought they could skip ers, and even seats his guests. out on their promissory note, but The song shifts between Ghost's instead of blasting them he shows gratuitous namedropping and a little mercy by taking their girl- a quasi chorus that works as a friends as a down payment. It's lead-in from commercial breaks. The song or skit, whatever you want to call it, is feather-light humor with one-liners like, "And for my ladieeees, we got Ne-Yo and Usher." There's something hilarious about Ghostface excit- edly introducing Ne-Yo. I know they put out a single together, but I can't really picture the two of them ever hanging out. "Supa GFK" recalls The Pretty Toney Album on which Ghost classically raps over the Delfonics track "La La Means I Love You." Here he adds slight production to Johnny "Guitar" Watson's often sampled funk swell beat, and then delivers the best rap-over it's ever produced. It's yet anotherexample of how flawlessly self-assured he is as a wordsmith - all you have to do is put on a funk-soul record and he'll become its proprietor. To balance out the violent, playful first half of the record, Ghostface hastily attempts to add some biblical, soul-search- ing depth toward its end. After an R&B a cappella interlude that runs a minute too long, Ghost tackles self-sacrifice and personal ascen- dancy on the hard ballad, "I'll Die for You." The song is introspec- tion extended outward. Ghost questions his role in his family, his community and even in biblical history. But despite his solid lyri- cism, the track is just plain bor- ing. Its passion seems perfunctory - Ghost references his love for his mother, his kids, Brother Malcolm and so on over de In this rare inst; take a tip fromI track "Trouble" Is Over mixtape musical and the; while generating and resonant ten Thankfully, th half of the albur pair of surprisi tling his mail-carrying nemesis and making his son proud. on a related note, is Sinbad still alive? "Love Actually" - I will defend this movie until death. I've already earned a number of feminine and homophobic nicknames for my love of this movie, but really it is one of the best Christmas films out there. Featuring every British person who has ever been in a movie during the past 30 years, the movie features about 20 different love stories hap- pening simultaneously - so many that one is bound to apply to your life. It's terribly cheesy at times, but you'll only hate it if your heart is three sizes too small. "Ernest Saves Christmas" - There are an infinite number of screwball Christmas comedies, the most notable being of the National Lampoon variety, but as part lov- able goofball, part mental patient, Ernest (played by the underappre- ciated Jim Varney) must help Santa find his replacement. Ernest movies are amazing; I don't know why more people don't know this. "Die Hard" - Yes, "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie. Think back: Remember all the snow, the Christ- mas trees, the festive references? Don't you dare mention 'A Christmas Story' "Die Hard" is arguably the best Christmas movie not really about Christmas. (Among others in con- tention: the "Home Alone" series and "Ghostbusters II.") And it gives you a chance to watch a violent action movie during Christmas- time that isn't a bastard offspring of the horrifyingly bad "Silent Night, Deadly Night"'80s slasher series. Look, I take back what I said about "It's a Wonderful Life." I'll be damned if I don't tear up every time they start singing at the end. And the made-for-TVversion of"Miracle on 34th Street" with that girl who played Matilda did make me want to hugkittens afterward, but it's just that I like less cuddly alternatives every once in a while. But no more "A Christmas Story," I really can't hear "You'll shoot your eye out... " one more time. - E-mail Tassi at tassi@umich.edu and watch "Love, Actually" with him. tracks. "Killa Lipstick" is bol- steredby some sexual reminiscing from Method Man and Mastah Killah and the album closer "Slow Down" drifts and flutters with the help of Def Jam songstress Chri- sette Michele's sultry refrain that Ghost keeps attempting to speed up. This album sees Ghostface Killah at his most lyrically play- ful. He's not afraid to set aside his mob-boss image to make irrev- erent jokes, even occasionally poking fun at himself. But this is what has made Ghostface stand out from the rest of the Wu-Tang unit and the majority of hip hop for years. He's a confident, brazen storyteller capable of stringing together intricate plotlines that occupy the streets and the ethe- real. But all the while he remains achingly human. Few rappers are in the same vicinity as Ghostface. You don't have to turn to this album to find out - just look at his production over the past seven years. of course, listening to this won't hurt. "The Muppet Christmas Carol" -SpeakingofScrooge, "AChristmas Carol" has been remade, let's say, 47 times since the original was writ- ten by some English guy, let's say, 300 years ago. The best adaptation, however, stars one Michael Caine and one Kermit the Frog and has the freshest and funniest take on the old classic. Featuring every Muppet ever sculpted out of foam, the film follows Caine's Ebenezer as he's visited by the surprisingly creepy Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future in order to understand the true spirit of the season. "Jingle All the Way" - Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. In a movie. Together. Amazing. In an exploration of the materialistic side of Christmas, good dad Arnold battles shopping crowds, a postal postal worker and an underground army of ninja Santas in the quest for one "Turbo Man" action figure. But the film goes above and beyond as Arnold transforms into the hero himself by the end as he flies around the Macy's parade in a jet pack bat- No more socks, Ma. All I want is a little tech Will the real Drama please stand up? By ANDREW SARGUS KLEIN Managing Arts Editor Buying gifts is generally an annoying process. In terms of cost, effort and effect, you figure an envelope of cash is usually the way to go. The following is a list of sorts. These aren't gifts for Mom and Dad (though maybe that's because my own mother goes to pieces if I buy her a picture frame and my father is content with a "hip" album). They're weird and geeky. Forget what you think you know of technogeek Web culture. There are blogs and blogs listing the most out-there inventions and products, so even if nothing on this list makes it next to your menorah (or under your Christmas tree), perhaps at the least you'll appreciate the geeks out there blogging about even weirder people building replicas of Halo weaponry and steampunk- style CPU towers. Enjoy. Lifestyle designer Charlie and Marie puts a new spin on a gift idea as painfully banal as the necktie: the coffee mug. Their $25 version is all black with "OFF" written in white letters. Pour in some hot java, though, and the pigment reacts, changing to a white background with "ON" in black letters. Revo. Lutionary. Nigel's Eco Store has a couple of so-geeky-it's-lovable (sort of) Christmas ornaments. A CD is carved into the likeness of a Christ- mas tree, circuit boards into stars (no Davidian ones, though) and bells. They're about six bucks, and while not necessarily something to wrap up, they'll give your tree a little kick. Gobaz goes for broke with its Orgasmo Clock. No more NPR or blaring alarms. No siree, now you can wake to a female orgasm every day. (Unfortunately for fairmind- edness, there's no male equivalent.) The amount of jokes this product presents is endless: "Here you go, Uncle, a nostalgia trip to the '60s"; "Hey bud, this is actually for your girlfriend. She was complaining that it was getting harder to con- vince you ... "; and, of course, "This is for you, best friend in the world. I wanted to get you something no one else could give you." It's all yours for $25. The scent of spirituality? Yes. Go to www.thepopescologne.com and see for yourself. Pope Pius IX (1792-1878), the man who formal- Sorry. We get uncomfortable when we don't write these. ized papal infallibility (thank you, Wikipedia), had his own fragrance. According to the product site, they "obtained this formula from descendants of the commander of his Papal Guard and lifelong friend, General Charles Charette. We have followed this complex, exclusive formula meticulously, using the same essential oils that his perfumers used 150 years ago." There you have it. Eat your heart out, Armani. Sally forth, techie wannabes. A brave new world awaits you. By ANTHONY BABER Daily Arts Writer It's been a troublesome year for DJ Drama. Drama (a.k.a. The iPod King, a.k.a. Barrack O. Drama), who has become renowned for showcasing mainstream and less- er-known artists on the mixtape rap circuit through his Gangsta Grillz mixtapes, had a surprise run-in with the Fulton Coun- ty, Ga., SWAT team. The Record- ing Industry Association of America sent **i,- DJ Drama Grangsta Grillz: The Alubm Grand Hustle the team into the Atlanta offices of Drama's Aphilliates Music Group and confiscated 81,000 mixtapes, four vehicles and anything else they could get their hands on. Drama and fellow DJ and pro- ducer, Don Cannon, were arrest- ed on racketeering charges and spent the night in jail, released on $100,000 bonds the next day. And if that wasn't enough, earlier this fall he faced more legal issues when a (much) lesser known Chicago DJ sued him over rights to the name "DJ Drama," claiming he had it first and prompting the Atlanta DJ to alter his moniker. "You can Google for 400 pages and you wouldn't see anything about this guy," the Grand Hustle DJ said. "It's all good, though. I've been through so much already - this is not a big deal." So when DJ Drama's long- awaited full-length debut Gang- sta Grillz: The Album was finally released, the name on the cover simply read "Drama." The album starts with a skit called "Setup," Drama's take on the investigation and raid of the Aphilliates's building back in Jan- uary. The satirical sketch pokes fun at the fed's action: "The first officer/officers on the scene to apprehend Mr. Don Cannon and a Mr. DJ Drama will receive a bot- tle of Scotch on the house." The skit is reinforced through "Takin' Pictures" with a massive collabo- ration of Young Jeezy, Willie the Kid, Jim Jones, Rick Ross, Young Buck and T.I. all contributing to the discussion of the legal scru- tiny of hip hop. Buck sheds light on the fed's excessive interest in rappers, saying, "They snappin while we trappin' / Tryin' to find out what happened / They wanna lock me up before my album go platinum." The album is essentially a hip- hop version of "The A-Team," assembling a crack team of pro- ducers, rappers and singers to solidify the mainstream mixtape. The immense list of producers ranges from Lil' Jon and Cannon to the well-known heavy hitters like Mannie Fresh and Hi-Tek. He doesn't discriminate on featured artists either, including East Coast rappers like Jadakiss, Free- way and Lloyd Banks in the pool of Southern lyricists. The thing that sets Drama's albumapartfromothercontempo- raryDJdiscsarehisextraordinary collaborations. In a true Memphis, Tenn., arrangement,Dramateams Three 6 Mafia consort Project Pat with the Dirty South legends 8Ball & MJG on "187," produced by Memphis native Drumma Boy. The standout track is the followup on OutKast's song series "The Art of Storytellin', Pt. 4," adding Mar- sha Ambrosius from Floetry on the hook. The Atlanta natives are The owner of the car is going to be pissed if there are any smudges on it. in regular form on the track and Andre 3000 addresses the crit- ics saying, "I started out starvin' / Now they got me out here Brett Favre'in / Tryin' to see if I still got it." Drama doesn't have much of a voice in the album but uses hip- hop vet Lil' Jon and comedian Katt Williams to promote Gang- sta Grillz in respective interludes. Diddy (a.k.a. "the Grand Impe- rial King Combs") makes his own contribution to Drama's street cred, explaining the necessity of the mixtape circuit and the mean- ing of Drama's nickname, Mr. Thanksgiving. He exclaims, "Ain't nobody doin the shit that he does / Everybody's eatin!" But Drama does take a moment to assert his authority himself, saying, "I've realized recently that I was born for this position / I took the fall for hip hop / And I stand before you stronger than ever / Watch what comes next." Though it's a masterful compi- lation, it's still a compilation, and the artists aren't always consis- tent. Meager contributions from Drama's fellow Grand Hustle artists Young Dro and Big Kun- try King on "Aye" and the unpal- atable loop on the beat of "Grillz Gleamin'" are just a couple of the shortcomings. But a few sloppy verses from sloppy rappers can't ruin the album. It's a solid piece of street music and is just notch in Drama's belt.