The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Thursday, November 1, 2007 - SA BAD BLOOD Rival columnists duke it out Hello, my Michigan State friends. I'm back. You may remember me from having the same assign- ment last season - a dueling col- umn with a Spartan writer, talking up my school while pointing out your flaws. I know at least 147 of you remember me, because, well, that's how many hate e- mails I got. SCOTT Most of the BELL messages were pretty heat- ed, some had threats tied in and a couple (OK, nearly all) had glaring gram- matical errors. Was I upset? Hardly. To be honest, I was pretty excit- ed to learn that Moo U had at least 147 quasi-literate students. But after sifting through all the hate mail and deleting all of the extra spam I got when a bunch of anigry Sparty students signed me up for ridiculous mailing lists, I realized why I was actually pretty excited to get all that mail (and no, it has nothing to do with the spam about refinancing my home). You're obsessed. And I have to admit, it was fun at first. Cute, even. Who doesn't have a special spot in his heart for a bunch of loyalty- blinded fans standing up for their joke of a team. I'm a Lions fan. I know how it goes. But the cuteness is rub- bing off. At some point, reality needs to set in. So, on this 100th meeting between two prestigious schools (I almost said that with a straight face, I swear), I hereby declare this matchup no longer a rivalry. The Paul Bunyan Tro- phy? Keep it. We didn't want it in 1953 when then- Governor G. Mennen Williamsproposedthe two teams play for it in hopes that people actually care about the game. Fifty-five years have passed, but one thing remains the same: We still don't care. We already play a pretty awful team (Minnesota) for a trophy - the Little Brown Jug - and that, at least, has some real history behind it. We already have a rivalry with ateam with actual tra- dition (Notre Dame). And we already have a rivalry with a team that's actually good (Ohio State). Sorry, there's no room for little brother anymore. Plenty of teams have bet- ter records against us than you do. Penn, Princeton, Syra- cuse, Washington - we lead all four of these teams in our all-time series', but each is a lot closer than you are. I'd list more teams that have better records against us than you do, but I'd run out of space. Instead, I'll use this space to remind you rioting isn't a major, crushing beer cans over your head isn't a minor and there's more to do on a Friday night than burning couches. But I'm a uniter, not a divider - let's part from this rivalry on good terms. We can remember all the fun times, like all one of your wins this century (a tainted one, but hey, you'll take what you can get). But you need to hold up your end of the bargain, too. You need to let big brother go play with the big boys. Don't go pouting, though - this could be a blessing in dis- guise. If you can get over your small- man syndrome and reevaluate yourselves, you could find a great niche. Being a slightly below-aver- age Big Ten team is nothing to scoff at (well, at least according to Northwestern). And maybe you can get a win- nable rivalry out of this, too. Give Lansing Community Col- lege a shot. You live close to them, according to you guys, that's crite- ria for a rivalry right there. Your new defensive-guru-turned-savior Mark Dantonio could get a clock counting down to it, too. Now we're onto something! So repeat after me: You're not our rivals. You're not our equals. You're like an obsessed ex-girl- friend. We're dumping you - leave us alone. But like any reasonable ex-boyfriend, we'll give you a chance to redeem your- selves. Show up on Saturday. Throw all the stupid count- down clocks out the win- dow and just try to make it competitive. Maybe little brother can show us something. Or, more likely, you'll see why this "rivalry" is just another game. - Scott Bell is a football writer and the managing s ports editor for The Michigan Daily. His spam filters are prepared for the barrage ofte-mails you can send to scotteb@umich.edu. B lack 2001 Saturn SC2. won the National Championship That's the car I drive (and when I say "I believe," I mean - and if Michigan State "We did"). beats Michigan, look for iton Main You will callus uneducated farm Street, blast- hands, and I stress that yes, our ing the Michi- university does have an agricul- gan State fight tural program - but we're good at song. it. And hey, if we're farm hands, at There's my # least we go to college for it, unlike picture (out- the millions of Wal-Mart Wolver- dated, but my ines out there. Oh, and how is that picture none- journalism degree working out? theless), right ZACK You will call us thugs, cit- by the headline ing senior linebacker SirDarean of this column. COLM AN Adams and sophomore cornerback Look for me in T.J. Williams's unarmed robbery that car. charge. You won't get a response And here's another bit of con- to that because, well, really, I don't tact information: colmanzl@msu. have one. edu. That's my e-mail address, and Congratulations, you got one I don't want to take the chance of point over me. you missing it at the bottom of this You should thank me, though. column. You needed to be taken down a If Michigan State loses - well, peg or two. The State News foot- tough luck. It's not like we're not ball reporter from last year, Ethan used to it. But Michigan isn't used Conley, was just too nice to Michi- to losing. I will drink Wolverine gan fans. He was "fresh out tears as if it was the sweetest nec- of ammunition," as he tar in the world. penned in his col- Let me debunk the ad hominem umn. Well, I've got attacks by Michigan Daily colum- an M- nist Scott Bell last year that will probably be, in some way, recycled. (for lack of creativity) in this year's Michigan Daily column. You will callus stupid, but at least I chose to attend a schoolthatoffers anactu- al journalism degree. You will call us drunkards and drug addicts, but what aboutMichiganwide receiver Mario Manningham's drug-possession charge? You will -call us pathetic in the realm of football, evi- denced by the 66-28-5 all-time series record in favor of Michigan. That's 16 with an all nice, and it's a fun statistic to ample sup- use, especially when you don't ply of ammu- recognize the fact that Michigan nition. was in the Big Ten a whole 53 years And look at that before Michigan State. The series - I did all of this without an is lopsided since 1953 but consider- Appalachian State joke. ably less so: 33-19-2 in favor of the This seems awfully boastful Wolverines. for the state of Michigan's eternal You will call us ignorant for football underdog. But hey, Ican do using the line, "Just wait until bas- that. There are no repercussions ketball season" if we lose. But isn't for Spartans fans or me because, by it all relative? Wouldn't you say all accounts, Michigan State should that, too, if the tables were turned? lose this football game. Don't even think about refuting But if it doesn't... that. Oh, and how did your hockey Imagine the hysteria in Spartan team do last year? I believe ours Stadium. No, we're not Michigan's biggest rival, but Michigan is our biggest rival. If I were a Wolver- ines fan, I'd shut my cell phone off if the final second (or second-and- a-half) rolls off the clock with the Spartans ahead. Sheer bliss. That's what a Michi- gan State victory would be. Maybe it's a little sad that at least a major portion of a lackluster season can be salvaged by one win. But we're used to football disap- pointments here. And, truthfully, we're easy to pick on for paling in comparison to the Wolverines' football prow- ess. We're easy to pick on for cit- ing close games we lose as a mark of improvement. We're easy to pick on because, in all likelihood, Michigan State will lose this game. Actually, you probably don't even need to watch the game because the victor will almost certainly be Michigan. But if you don't watch the game, look for that black 2001 Saturn SC-2 and listen for the Michi- gan State fight song - that should give you some indi- cation who wins. And,whenyouseeand hear it, I'll put'shy wind- shield wipers on. Given the circum- stances, the Ann Arbor forecast is sure to be a tor- rential downpour Trophy has a history as big as its namesake By JACK HERMAN Daily Sports Editor The first time Michigan won the Paul Bunyan Trophy, the Wolver- ines cared so little, they didn't even engrave it. If Michigan had its way, the award probably wouldn't even exist. But if you want to hear the story behind the unwanted trophy, don't ask Michigan coach Lloyd Carr. "I have no idea," Carr said when asked why Michigan and Michi- gan State play for the trophy. "I've never researched that, and I don't think I will." By not looking, Carr is missing a history full of controversy, politi- cal intrigue and even a little cam- pus mischief dating back to 1953, when the four-foot statue of leg- endary logger Paul Bunyan stand- ing on a map of Michigan atop a five-foot stand was first conceived. But if you took a trip through The Michigan Daily archives, you would find some fascinating sto- ries surrounding the trophy's ear- liest years collected here. A bumpy start The trophy's origins rest with a rivalry just as, if not more, bit- ter than today's. Despite playing the Spartans all but two years since 1910, Michigan had fought year after year to keep its intra- state rival out of the Big Ten. But in 1953, Michigan State was finally admitted to the conference. About a month before that year's matchup, Gov. G. Mennen Wil- liams took the advice of a reporter and proposed the teams play for the Governor's Trophy in honor of their first game as Big Ten oppo- nents. He commissioned a Chicago jeweler to carve the $1,400 trophy - designed to symbolize the rival- ry - out of wood. That idea thrilled the Spar- tans' athletic department, but not the Wolverines'. Some worried it would reduce the excitement of playing for the Little Brown Jug. Purists in student government and on the football team argued tro- phies should spring spontaneously and from students. Politics muddied the trophy, too. State Republicans called it a "typical Williams political trick." They said Williams's proposed one-minute unveiling prior to the game was just an excuse to appear in front of the national TV audi- ence. Cameras ended up not show- ing the trophy before the game. Although a Fritz Crisler-led Board in Control of Student Ath- letics suspiciously stalled in hold- ing a vote to approve the trophy, an assistant to the governor said Michigan would accept it if it won the game. To this day, Michigan insists it would have refused. In either case, history will never know the answer. Spartans 14, Wolverines 6. An unwanted reward Controversy continued head- ing into the 1954 game. Crisler refused to say whether Michigan would accept the trophy, claiming there were too many "ifs" in win- ning. After Michigan won 33-7 in Ann Arbor, it left the trophy on the field for half an hour, appar- ently not realizing it actually had to keep it. "We'll find a place for the tro- phy," Crisler told The Michigan Daily after game. And not much else. Whereas Michigan State cen- trally featured the trophy in Jeni- son Field House, Michigan kept it in the locker room. It said it had no room elsewhere. Even after winning the trophy the next year, the Wolverines did not engrave their winning scores. So intent to kindle the tradition, in 1956, the victorious Spartans did it for them. Caught in a tie Believe it or not, things got worse. In 1958, the teams tied. Still thumbing its nose at the ugly mass, Michigan refused to take it. The heavily favored Spar- tans were so embarrassed they didn't win, they wouldn't either (eventually they relented). The Daily labeled the trophy a flop. If a trophy goes missing, will anyone care? Although the Paul Bunyan Tro- phy is not as loved as the Brown Jug, the two do have one thing in common: At one time or another, the Michigan Athletic Department lost each of them. No one knows why the Little Brown Jug disap- peared for atime in the 1930s. Paul Bunyan was taken as a joke. On Jan. 10, 1955, Michigan's equipment manager discovered the trophy missing. In a note sent to Michigan State's student newspaper, a group of supposed Michigan State (then College) students calling themselves "Operation Rescue" claimed to have taken it to save it from the "shabby" treatment it received in Ann Arbor. By the end of the week, though, The Michigan Daily uncovered the truth: Michigan students had taken it asa prank. But even absence could not make the heart grow fonder. As the Daily later quipped, "Fortunately or unfortunately (it is a matter of debate)," the trophy reappeared in time for the game. A trophy forgotten? By the early 1960s, contempt for the trophy appeared to die, but no excitement bubbled. For years after, stories in the Daily, even those specifically about the inten- sity of the rivalry, make no men- tion of the trophy. Today, players and coaches say they want to win the trophy even if it is one of the ugliest in college football. But with the trophy's checkered past, perhaps it's no wonder Carr doesn't (or won't aldmit to) know the story behind it.