The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, October 9, 2007 - 5 You can't deny the Nation' After watching three weeks' worth of CBS's "Kid Nation," I have come to the following conclusions: 1. Deserting kids in the desert is a great idea. Summer camps have been draining bank accounts for years, and it's time to start sending the nation's youth to live inside abandoned movie sets in New Mex- ico. It's a win-win situation: Parents don't have to leave their kids with Phish-lovingcamp counselors, and New Mexico gets a reason to exist. - MCHAEL 2. The collec- PASSMAN tive minds at CBS are brilliant. While everyone in the industry is losing his mind over Ben Silverman because he revived "The Bionic Woman," originally a spin-off of "The Six Million Dollar Man," CBS quietly captured the snarky-college- newspaper-TV-columnist demo- graphic with "Kid Nation." Combine that with the rest of America, who sadly believes "CSI: Romulus" would be a good idea, and you've built your- self quite abase. 3. I would have been the worst "Kid Nation" contestant of all time. The only thing my 9-year-old self could do was operate a Super Nin- tendo and name all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There's no way in hell I would've been cooking and cleaning in a ghost town for any reason at age 9. Something is wrong withthese kids. 4. The show is actually pretty good. I've resisted reality television for years, but I simply cannot deny the "Nation." It's not a good show in the sense that "The Sopranos" was, but it's fun to watch and rivals TV's best in terms of watchability with a group of cynical people. DVR "Push- ing Daisies" tomorrow, and watch "Kid Nation" with your friends. But as enjoyable as the show is in its current incarnation, it could be so much more. For the sake of argument I'm going to pretend lawyers don't exist, and we'll throw conventional morals and ethics out the window - which shouldn't be too difficult considering I'm discussing reality television. At this point, season two of "Kid Nation" looks like a sure thing, so it's time for CBS to open up the playbook. The first major change "Kid Nation" needs to make is fundamen- tal to the premise of the show. In an annoying move to convince spon- sors that CBS wasn't trying to get kids to kill each other in the middle of nowhere, the primary goal of the show is to see if all the kids can coex- ist. The kids are divided into four groups for the purpose of assigning jobs, but CBS hammers home the communal nature of the town. The kids are not competing with each other for real estate or power. They're just workingtogether. So now that the first season has established that kids can kind of live on their own - with producers making sure no one gets mauled by wolves or something - it's time to create a real town to see if kids can live in opposition to each other, not with each other. We need corrupt politicians, roving gangs, radical reli- gious factions, political parties and permanent economic disparities. It's supposed to be Kid Nation, a nation of kids with different groups and agendas. I am unaware of any nation where everyone works together for the greater good. Next, the cast needs to be a ran- dom sampling of real kids, not the special kids CBS handpicked for the show. One of the kids this season just happens to have apprenticed with a butcher, so when the group needed to kill chickens, they knew what to do. Real kids don't apprentice with butchers. Real kids work at Dairy Queen. Are we in feudal times? Is his brother apprenticing with a black- smith? I'm proposing a nationwide draft that requires kids between the ages of 8 and 15 to register for "Kid Real kids don't apprentice with butchers. They work at DQ. Nation." It's the only way to get a legitimate sampling of real kids on the show. And finally, kids should not be allowed to leave the show whenever they want. When I was 10, I wasn't allowed to leave summer camp when I wanted to, and that place had a fucking trapeze. These kids agreed to be on a TV show that tests their lim- its and isn't comfortable, yet they can go home whenever they want? If we really want to see kids live on their own, they have to go into it knowing they are stuck there. The kids are a little too comfortable with the situ- ation right now because they know in the worst-case scenario, they can just take off. But for now, we'll just have to make do with the show as is. Roving gangs might not be stealing gold stars, but I hear some of the kids accidentally drank bleach one time, so we've got that to look forward to. - They kill chickens? They're eight. Jesus. Reason with Passman at mpass@umich.edu. Krug's chaos spins its own fairy tale n "Winged/Wicked Things," Spencer Krug - Sunset Rubdown's versatile frontman - chimes, "And chaos is yours and chaos is mine." It's not so much a single line in a fine song as **** it is a mani- festo - one Sunset Krug exhibits throughout Rubdown the band's Random Spirit Random Lover. Spirit Lover Just look to Jagjaguwar "Colt Stands Up, Grows Horns." Easily the most bemus- ing track on the album, Krug employs ridiculous fun-house piano convulsions to connect the catchier, single-heavy first third of the album with the dreary yet effervescent middle third. It can be considered the lucid link that defines Random Spirit Lover's movements, or it can be viewed as the most dis- jointed, frustrating track on an album with no other purpose than for Krug to show some pretentious edge. But that's what Krug wants: a chaotic mess that only works when the entire storybook is Hedonists. read from cover to cover. If 2006's Shut Up I Am Dreaming Feral Days," which finds Krug was a dark novel that showed assuming the role of a lover his melodramatic front, lacing in turmoil as he belts, "Cause tracks with poetic prose and you're the one who's riding dreary, sweeping melodies, then around on a leopard / You're Random Spirit Lover is Krug's the one who's throwing dead frantic fairy tale that shows birds in the air," or "The Tam- one of music's top harmonizers, ing of the Hands that Came keyboardists and lyrical virtuo- Back to Life," where he drawls, sos, proving that we may have "Don't get too close / You'll the next man that expands the detect the West Coast air in my genre of indie rock. chest / And the way I hold it in Random Spirit Lover is very there." Both tracks are seem- much a fairy tale. It's lengthy ingly idiosyncratic, but when - just shy of an hour - and it taken in context with the rest has complex tales intertwined of the album, each seem a little with images of courtesans less odd, allowing the listener and leopard riding, thespians to explore the undertow of the and lepers. Krug's metaphori- lyrics rather than the absurd cal, whimsical lyrics continue imagery. to identify Sunset Rubdown, Though Sunset Rubdown is just as they have done with his very much Krug's brainchild, other bands Wolf Parade and the emergence of Camilla Swan Lake. Take "Up on Your Wynn Ingr's lovely falsetto Leopard, Upon the End of Your melds magically with Krug's cOURTESY OF JAGJAGUWAR masterful piano hysterics. "The Mending of the Gown" hectically probes a complicated tale of a gown and two lovers in which Ingr and Krug's vocals reverberate together, while the frantic keyboard freight-trains toward a climax of "And the running and the running and the running and the running around!" The same can be said for "The Taming of the Hands that Came Back to Life," which thrusts the final portion of the album toward clarity after the fashioned chaos of the midsec- tion. Ingr's silky cries ground the beginning of the track against a dominant percussion set before Krug takes over. The track might be self-reflexive since he explores his thoughts on songwriting. But even Krug realizes his pitfalls, reacting See SUNSET, Page 8 ARTS IN BRIEF A Beatles fan could do worse By MATT RONEY Daily Arts Writer The past year has been a great time to be a Beatles fan. There are rumors of anew song * (seriously), "The U.S. vs. John Lennon" brought VariOUS John's political life to nationwide theaters, Artists PaulandRingoappeared on Larry King with the Across the widows of George and Universe: John and we've seen the Music from the production of two Bea- Motion Picture ties-themed shows: the Cirque du Soleilextrava- Intscape ganza "LOVE" and Julie Taymor's movie-musi- cal Across the Universe," as well as their accompanying soundtracks. The LOVE album was the project of the "fifth Beatle," the producer George Martin and his son Giles. Effectively a mash-up album, it employed re-mastered versions of the Beatles's original tapes to create an entirely new sequence of classic songs. Of course, despite its rearranged mix, LOVE had one major thing going for it - it was still the Beatles playing all the parts. Across the Universe doesn't have that lux- ury. When it comes down to it, these are covers, and nothing can anger a devoted fan - and Beatles fans are nothing if not devoted - more than a butchered cover. Fortunately, Across the Universe: Music from the Motion Picture avoids disappoint- ment, at least mostly. Amazingly enough, the album falters most with the songs performed by U2 leader and tiber-star Bono - "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and "I Am the Wal- rus." "Lucy," that masterpiece of sparse See UNIVERSE, Page 9 You can't earn the respect of "Sapes" if you can't establish a Sicilian defense. Amateurs That dumb Geico ad? ABC makes it work. DVD DVD offspring from 'Knocked Up' as good as its parents "Knocked Up: Unrated Two- Disc Collector's Edition" Universal If fan appreciation is mea- sured in terms of DVD release content, Judd Apatow is the people's champion. Like "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" before it, Apatow's second feature is offered as part of a loaded double-disc set that rivals any DVD release this year. Theunratedcutof"Knocked Up" is basically the same movie you saw in theatres last spring, but merged with a few extended and deleted scenes. That is to say, it's arguably the best, most polished comedy in years. The vast majority of the deleted and extended scenes are not synched in with the rest of the film, but span the two discs. Also included are 22 on-set video diaries from Apa- tow, a couple mockumentaries about the film's production, more than10 other featurettes, a full-length commentary and a hidden "you know how I know you're gay"-off between Seth Rogen ("Superbad") and Paul Rudd ("The 40-Year-Old Virgin") recalling their "40- Year-Old Virgin" days. And in the age of double- dip DVDs and special edition releases months after the ini- tial DVD launch, it's refresh- ing to see a feature-packed set hit the market right away. Apa- tow knows the 20-something slacker demographic better than any other filmmaker at work today: He makes mov- ies about them, and he makes DVDs for them. MICHAEL PASSMAN TELEVISION 'Carpoolers' not even worth a silent ride "Carpoolers" Tuesdays at 8:30 p.m. ABC While it's true you save money by driving with other people, it's not worth it when you're riding with morons. "Carpoolers" gives us four men driving to work together, plain and simple. Although centering a show on a com- mute is a serviceable con- cept, ABC blows it by having strange, ignorant characters with nothing intelligentto say. That doesn't stop them from saying it, of course, which is the main problem of the show: a silent, 30-minute car ride is preferable to "Carpoolers" - this one is just pointless. Jerry O'Connell ("Crossing Jordan")istheonlyestablished cast member, playing the "cool guy" of the crew. He's also the dumbest, which is quite a feat if you look at the rest of them. The storylines aren't especial- ly entertaining, either. A wife buying a $400 toaster doesn't eat up half an hour. The cheap humor of "Car- poolers" might give an initial chuckle, but after the first commercial, you might find yourself wishing that someone would cut their brakes. JOHN DAAVETTILA By MARK SCHULTZ Daily Arts Writer By now the GEICO "Cave- man" commercials are such a part of the public conscious- ness that during last November's * Duke-UNC basketball Cavemen game, Tar Heels fans Tuesdays held up at 8p.m. signs say- ABC ing "Beat- ing Duke - so easy a Caveman could do it." A sitcom might seem like the logical next step in whit- tling these Neanderthals into a primitive niche in popular culture - just because a com- mercial has never been made into a successful TV series doesn't mean it can't be done. And, actually, there's a good chance it can. Joel (Bill English) is a mod- ern-day caveman who shares an apartment with younger brother Andy (Sam Hunting- ton, "Superman Returns") and best friend Nick (Nick Kroll, "Best Week Ever"). Like their commercial counter- parts, these cavemen are tech- savvy and trendy to a satirical degree. They have highly lit- erate conversations using phrases like "pregnant with meaning," do Sudoku puzzles over their morning coffees and whine woefully when the If you laugh, does that mean you should switch to Geico? Wikipedia server is down. Joel works at an Ikea-like fur- niture store - Whose products' names are the most inscru- table Norwegian words and dates sexy Homo sapien Kate (Kaitlin Doubleday, "Waiting ..."). Andy plays too much "Wii See CAVEMEN, Page 8