The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Monrday, October 8, 2007 -- 5A Tales ofKid Rock and motorbikes h bArom-com flop from the fraternal minds 'Heartbreak' behind 'Dumb and Dumber' By Sheri Jankelovitz I Daily Arts Writer Expectations can't help but be high when you read the cred- its: The Farrelly brothers. Ben Stiller. An R-rated comedy. It's almost like it's 1998 and Cameron Diaz is slicking back her hair with that infamous gel. Then "The Heart- break Kid" actually The begins, and with Heartbreak each passing mm- ute, our expecta- Kid tions slide lower and lower. At Quality16 Eddie Can- and Showcase trow (Ben Stiller, Paramount "Dodgeball") is a single 40-some- thing who can't seem to commit to any one woman. Then along comes Lila (Malin Aker- man, "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle"), who seems too good to be true. Turns out she is, and on their disastrous honeymoon,, Eddie meets and falls in love with Miran- da (Michelle Monaghan, "Mission: Impossible III"). Naturally, because it's Stiller and this is a romantic comedy, awkward meetings abound, mostly involving body parts. Each situation resonates uncomfortably, though, because the filmmakers try to coat the entire dis- gusting spectacle with sweetness. It's not very often that a film actually features a scene involving a donkey having sex with a woman and tries to play it off as a romantic-date mon- tage. Not too surprisingly, it doesn't work. And it's not just the comedy that doesn't come together - theromance is shaky at best. OK, let's suspend all disbelief here and pretend two people can actually fall in love in two days without knowing anything about each other. Fine, but shouldn't the chemistry between Miranda and Eddie at least be believable? Not only does she look and act 20 years younger than him, their interactions are totally contrived. The film's other major hang-up lies in the fact that Eddie just isn't likeable enough for us to care about whether or not he gets the girl. His arrogance and complete lack of regard for anyone's feelings but his own would send any self-respect- ing woman running for the hills. If you like him at all in the beginning, it's totally gone by the time it sinks in that he's seeing another woman while on a honeymoon with his new wife. Let's not mince words here: This guy's an asshole. The romancing of another woman on his honeymoon is supposed to be forgivable because his wife is such a loon. But what makes her so crazy? So she likes to sing along to the radio and is into really kinky sex - most guys would probably be able to move past that. It's really Stiller's charac- ter with the problem. The film isn't helped by its so- called wacky supporting charac- ters - Eddie's father (Jerry Stiller, "Zoolander") and the loony Mexican hotel worker (the self-hating Mexi- can comedian Carlos Mencia) - that only serve to drag the film down even more with their increasingly unnec- essary scenes. Unless you think hearing Jerry Stiller use the phrase "crushing pussy" more than three times (or even once) is necessary. It's a shame really that a film with so much potential falls so flat. It's all there - the vulgarity, the gross-out humor, Stiller acting flustered - but the material just never connects. This thin film stretches even thinner when the Farrellys throw in disgust- ing images to disguise the lack of actual comedy. You can't substitute genitals for heart, a lesson the broth- ers seriously need to learn. Focus on actually making your audience laugh before you gross them out. By KIMBERLY CHOU Associate Arts Editor So this house on Oakland Avenue throws a party Friday. It's a good time, lots of people spilling out onto the lawn, including two - how else do I put this?. - dope addicts that wandered in. ("They were nice enough people," reasons one of the housemates.) One of the hosts runs down to the corner store with one of the new strangers, the latter declaring that he's "carrying H and cocaine" on him. (This is a pretty bad sign.) The guy parks in the middle of the street, police start approaching, and our humble host books it afraid the no-longer-welcome guest is goingto be arrested. But he's not - instead Questionable Guest returns to the house to pick up his lady friend, and, apparently, one of the hosts' laptops. Won- derful. Thankfully, the one good thing that comes out of that bizarre initial jaunt with the dope fiend is that the hosts found the car and retrieve the laptop just before the couple took off. Scare over and elec- tronics saves, the party goes on well into the night. But this isn't a police report - so let's get back to something much more silly and superficial. Continuing with the theme of semi-nude bathing at 3 a.m., a few High Society readers started the weekend early with Wednesday-night karaoke at the Heidelberg and ended up swim- ming in the fountain outside the MLB. Orientation leaders tell you to take off your shoes and wade with Poseidon, but they forget about further advice - you know, for when you end up biking home across campus in your (wet) underwear. On to the weekend proper, a friend and I drop by a colleague's house party early Friday. Our host shows us around, then dis- appears to find us drinks. We're waiting for him in his bedroom - the friend rolling cigarettes, me judging the room's choice of posters - when someone throws open the door. "Oh my god - sorry!" she says, inordinately flustered. "I was just looking for the bath- room. Sorry!" I.look over at the friend. He's sitting at the desk, several feet away from me. There is not even the slightest illusion ofcoupling. The girl dis- appears, then cautiously pokes her head through a crack in the door two minutes later: "Sorry, but where is the bathroom? Just so, you know, this doesn't hap- pen again." I make sonic gen- eral directional hand gestures. "Thanks" she says and disap- pears, still looking sheepish. I look down to see if my dress has fallen down, or if the bed I'm sitting on is questionably rum- pled. "Weird," the friend says. But the host reappears, bearing beverages - and, we all know, those fix any situation. On Saturday, several of our neighbors down the road came in from Ypsilanti for the Eastern Michigan game ,and quite a few stayed for the par- ties. Someone keeping an eye out for High Society ran into a couple of Eastern dudes trying to impress at a party on South Forest Avenue. "Me and my friends stole the 'D' from Kid Not everyone is getting it on- at a party. Rock's house!" one claimed, ref- erencing the giant Olde English "D" for Detroit fastened on the gated entrance to Rock's Orton- ville, Mich., estate. This brought up questions of how one would manage to remove a giant brass marker - blowtorch versus power-sander - and of whether these guys realize that Kid Rock is over. (But relevant enough to mention in this column.) Also seen and overheard this week: * A pack of 100 motorbikes honking down South Division Street at 8 p.m. One hundred motorbikes. Critical Mass with motorcycles? * Most literate theme party: "Dress as an author," at a co- op north of Huron (henceforth known as NoHu) Saturday. Reports a friend: "There were a lot of Sylvia Plaths." Sigh. * Other advice: When some- one comes up to you outside your house and says "Hey, I just found this girl laying on the cement. I am from Kansas City, and I thought this shouldn't happen. Can she crash on your porch?" there's a good chance he's not from Kansas City and the girl is actually a younger sister of someone your friends once knew. - Tell us about your own debauched anjst bizarre night E-mail highsocietyaumich.edu ' Will 'Chuck' revive NBC's Mondays? By ALEX ERIKSON Daily Arts Writer Throw in one part nerdy com- puter repairman, one part quirky friend, two parts awkward house- mates(sisterandsister'sboyfriend) and one part super-hot-secret- agent woman, blend on high for an hour and out comes "Chuck," NBC's best hope Chuck for a new hit this Mondays season. at8m Chuck (Zach- at 8p.m. ary Levi, "Less NBC Than Perfect") is a computer repairman at Nerd Herd, a divi- sion of Buy More, two cheap but funny jabs at Best Buy and its technology-repair center. Chuck is a normal guy stuck in a job he likes but doesn't want to do until retire- ment. Then his ex-roommate - the same one who got him kicked out of Stanford (and became a rogue CIA agent) - sends him a mysterious e-mail with a slew of pictures vital to national security. This happens just before the old roomie's death and is the begin- ning of the adventure of Chuck's monotonous life. Enter the National Security Agency and its merry band of henchmen, notably Agent John Casey (Adam Baldwin, "Firefly"). Throughout the pilot, Agent Casey is portrayed exclusively as "the dark agent," while in the second episode his character deepens, as we find out that he is also there to "help" Chuck. Also among the henchmen - on the CIA side - is the very fine Sarah Walker (the Australian actress Yvonne Strzechowski), who Chuck even- tually dates. For her, it's mostly business, but for Chuck, it's a long- He's wearing Chucks.Ilrony! (The computer bard background? Weird.) awaite But from o ev h( more tI exactly withou expect writers d opportunity. ing the audience. "Chuck's" genius what sets "Chuck" apart is actually that the plot leans ther shows are its nuances on clich4, almost to the point of ridiculousness, just so it can turn around and make fun of itself. Consider when Chuck defuses a W orking the' bomb by flooding the timer's com- puter with Internet-porn viruses. _lym an-cum- The N.S.A. is also portrayed in a particularly relaxed light, without ero formula, being so unrealistic that the show loses credibility. When the guns come out, the drama rises, and the audience realizes how important ban its setup. The show goes Chuck really is to national securi- 'where the viewer expects ty. Still, the writers quickly pull us tgrowingdull. Goingto the back to comedy with subtle jokes ed can be dangerous - the and awkward moments, like when run a very real risk of los- Agent Casey gets shot with a tran- quilizer dart. He suffers the con- sequences at unexpected times, falling when least expected, only to rise again and curse the dart. His hard-ass attitude coupled with physical comedy is unbeatable. The comedy of the typically domi- neering security agencies makes the show particularly accessible. NBC might have found the hit it needs to fill the long-standing void of "Friends." The show is a triumph for now, but after just two episodes, you begin to wonder how long the writers can make the chase after Chuck's national-secu- rity knowledge last. The fate of the nation - along with NBC's fall lineup - is in Chuck's hands. AMERICAN VETERANS: BECOME A NEW LEGIONNAIRE Learn what the Aierican Legion stands for and what it can do for you. For details, request free brochure by writing to American Legion, Post 46, PO Box 2192, Ann Arbor, MI 48106 or www.americanlegionannarbor.org For more information, phone (734) 663-3920 or email Derek Blurke at dblumkeumich.edit RANDOLPH COURT APARTMENTS ~ 2 Bedroom Apartment Homes Ground Floor Ranch Style! Private Entrance! Patio! Spacious Kitchen! Air Conditioning! 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