I 2B - Thursday, September 27, 2007 SUPER MARIO RPG: THE LEGEND OF THE SEVEN STARS (1996) The one Mario to rule them all By MARK SCHULTZ Daily Arts Writer Many of today's self-professed "Mario" addicts would have trouble naming the first Mario game where the best playable charac- ters were Bowser, a giant marshmallow who could control the weather and a doll that came to life and shot cannon-balls out of his arm. To most gamers, Mario getting his ass whooped by a sensei the size of his mustache is not nearly as familiar an image as Mario duckingunder Bowser's feet to axe downthe bridge. "Super Mario RPG" is as forgotten as "Mario is Missing!" in the franchise para- digm, and that just isn't right. The opening of "RPG" is a testament to the fact that every Mario game before this was just a prelude. Princess Toadstool is kidnapped and Mario voyages to Bowser's Castle to bring her back and have a parade. But in the middle of the obligatory fisticuffs between hero and villain, a great explosion tosses both fighters from the castle, caus- ing Bowser to lose his throne and his self- respect. It only gets weirder. Mario must collect. seven stars scattered throughout his uni- verse -one remarkably larger than "Super Mario World" - in order to pacify an army of nether-worldly foes who engage in the utterly deplorable task of destroying falling wishes from Star Road. From here, Mario must fight a murderer's row of enemies - be it old-school koopas or rabid dogs - and retrieve all seven stars. The characters of "Mario RPG" are the single weirdest group of video-game char- acters I have ever encountered. Some of them are friendly: the neurotic townspbople who seem to be relatives of Toad, a parable- spouting frog named Frogfucius and brain- locked composer Toadofsky. The bosses who impede Mario's quest are just as colorful. They include a Yoda-talking anthropomor- phic bow named Bowyer, a spear-throwing pirate shark named Jonathan Jones and a giant wedding cake named Bundt. I have a special affinity for the ethereal Culex, who proclaims, "I am matter, I am antimatter ... I consume time, and I will consume you!" Pretty badass, huh? The genius of "Mario RPG" is how it makes its typically inaccessible genre friend- ly to a broader audience. It's not too difficult and not too long (relatively, at least), and it's peppered with enough familiar characters that plunging into a game genre so vastly different from the traditional side-scrollers doesn't seem like such a scalding bath. The only negative thing I can say about this game is that it ruined RPGs for me for- ever. This was the first RPG I had ever played and I haven't touched one since. Any RPG I play for the rest of my life will be a colossal letdown, because I'm confident I will never play a more funny, engaging and satisfying game than this one. What other RPG would have the pop-culture sensibility to make one of its bosses a parody of the Power Rang- ers just a year after the first movie was released? The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com CALIEN DAR The Daily Arts guide So She hesS upcoming events Today 9.27.07 Crazy Love 7 and 9:15 p.m. $6.2s with student ID/$8.50 At the Michigan Theater FestiFools! 5 to 7 p.m. Free At the Campus Safety Services Building, Room1309 Insert Applesauce Here: a Multimedia Dance Collaboration Extravaganza 8to SIp.m. Free At the Duderstadt Center's Video Studio 6 6 a Seriouslv, a zen character named Fr It's hard to understand why this game doesn't have the legacy of other Mario games, but I think I've figured it out. "RPG" was released in 1996, the same year as Nin- tendo'64. As soon as 64 came out, this game was inevitably overshadowed by "Mario 64," which had better graphics and more acces- sible gameplay. Moreover, the strength of most RPGs is their complexity. Standard "Mario" fans who were used to simple sto- rylines and games you could play for two minutes or two hours, might not have been ready for the many layers inherent in a game where five characters embark on a "Wizard of Oz"-like quest to save the world and find themselves. Trust me, this game will help you see every Mario character in a new light. Buy it, play itandthenburn everyother RPGyou've ever owned. Tomorrow 9.21.07 The University of Michigan Remembers Gerald Ford Free At Joan and Sanford Weill Hall's Annenbereg Auditorium Clumsy Lovers 8 p.m. $13.s/$18.s At the Ark Symphony Band 8 p.m. Free At Hill Auditorium WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY THIS WEEKEND WEEK IN REVIEW MARCEL MARCEAU, the paradigmatic French mime with the white face paint and striped shirt, died Saturday at 84. Moment of silence? @ A second DUI charge for KIEFER SUTHERLAND ("24") this week means that if convicted, he'll get a mandatory five-day sentence.@" The crewmember for "THE DARK KNIGHT" who died Monday appears to have been off-set at the time. The man died after the test vehicle he was driving crashed into a tree. @ ALICIA SILVERSTONE went naked for a PETA ad. Not as good as when she ignored that bitch on "The View." *9Apparently JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE cancelled two shows on the West Coast earlier this year because he was hung over. Not sure his fanbase even knows what that is, but whatever. U AT THE NEWSSTAND GQ: 50 years ingly cathartic and spiritual. This is brutal stark tragedy; peoplsuferue nd it couldn tbe more mesmerizing. Men's glossy GQ celebrates its 6oth birthday this month (with an issue weighed down by more ON DVD cologne samples than usual). Check ut its lead feasire on the 50 most stylish men of the past W rite us for a free 5o years - cover boy Jack Ken- nedy tops the list. Copy of the new 'Knocked Up' O AT THE STATE THEATER A new pop tragedy O ON THE RUNWAY Fashion Week: the last days With the endless supply of criticism floating through the media, the New York and London Fashion Weeks seem to have come to a close years ago, but for serious enthusiasts, the month-long event is still on. Being in-the-know on Milanshows is amust;reviews will continue to surface through the end ofthe week. at the movies There are many things that make "Eastern Promises" worth watching, especially David Cronenberg's direction (and maybe that naked bathhouse fight). The film is a rare experi- ence, hard-driving and master- ful. Violent and sometimes hard to watch, the effect is surpris- It's stoner fare and a serious social statemenrt. Sort of. You can see lovabie guion Seth Rog knocki up babe Katherine Heigl again and again if you submit your best story about a one-night stand gone awry to artse- ditors@umich.edu. ditorsgocirnicb.edci. We've got copies of the newly released DVD - first cime, first served. >PHOT Sri ,ynyu r } y' :: y v j 'w + Saturday 9.22.07 100 Years, 100 Views: A Centennial Celebration of the Arb 8 am Free At Nichols Arboretum Manhattan Short Film Fes- tival 7 p.m. $6.75/$8.50 At the Michigan Theater Midnight Showing: Donnie Darko Midnight Free At the State Theater Sunday 9.23.07 Percussion Ensemble: Drago Boat Race Noon Free At Gallup Park The War: a Ken Burns Film, Part 4 of 7 8 p.m. PBS Fred Eaglesmith 7:30 p.m. $20/$25 At The Ark Please send all press releases and event information to artspage@michigandaily com. DAILY ARTS. WANT TO SEE SOMETHING IN OUR PAGES? HAVE A COMPLAINT? WANT TO JOIN? E-MAIL ANDRESAR@ UMICH.EDU.