w w w V V V V - U- - w w. _W _IF _w. -W- W-- lw 3D. - .dneday . Cont'd: The perils of e-dating DATING From page 5B although there is, of course, "yours gets mine." An endless amount of "curvy" women want me to ful- fill their fantasies. They usually involve public restrooms and/or discreetly cheating on their hus- bands. I feel like Chris Hansen's about to kick down my door for even being on this site. I don't want to be on Dateline NBC. I give up. So what have I learned about online dating? It's more or less a wasteland out there. Maybe if you're 35, working all the time and aretiredofthebarscene,thismight be for you. But if you're a college student and can form a sentence while looking at another person, go somewhere, anywhere. You'll find someone - eventually. If not, e-Harmony will still be there down the road. No date for me tonight. Time to go to parties and try to impress girls with my Michigan Daily ID card. Really I'm still waiting for that model to message me back. Maybe if I believe hard enough she'll be real. And maybe I'll find my soul mate on Craigslist. Right. 810 S State Street 222-4822 . 1906 Packard 995-9940 - btbburrito.com ANSWERS Campusr' decider large group of students crowded around Michigan Student Assembly President Zack Yost as he exited his office on the third floor of the Michigan Union Tuesday eve- ning. Yost, who was elected to the position in March, says the representatives who hang out in MSA chambers are the reason he comes to work everyday. And his dedica- tion doesn't stop there. His eyes light up when he mentions the rally for higher education, the new MSA internship program and the college readership program, which he says will bring free news- papers to campus.' Here, Yost talks about his political future, so many past MSA and LSA presidents have been members of his fraternity and his penchant for dressing to impress. " I hang out at Rick's at night, but I think I stay until close the Union more than I see closing time Rick's these days, which is usually at about 2 a.m. Closing at each place has its own rewards. . I never planned on running for president. But I love it. I'm always thinking about MSA. That's probably not nor- mal. * If I hear someone say MSA is insular and cliquish, I'm going to ask that person to join us. . A lot of people from the Greek system are involved in a lot of different places. I guess people in Alpha Epsi- lon Pi are attracted to student government. But there is actually only one other AEPi member in MSA now.. " I always try and look sharp. It's important. People recog- nize you and you need to look good. Tuesday nights, when we have MSA meetings, I definitely need to be on point. . I've actually never seen a high school homecoming parade. I was on the football team so I never had the opportunity to watch, but I'm really excited about ours. Hillel and many other student organizations are helping out. And we're shutting down State Street. . I played guard on the offensive line in high school. I miss it a lot. Now I only play in the Mudbowl. I used to play Club Rugby here, but it conflicts with MSA meetings. " This is my last experience in politics until I join the Universi- ty's Board of Regents. I think that would be a rewarding experi- ence and a great way to be involved in the University. You can always be working to make the University better. A huge amount of money was just spent on renovating the regent's room. I don't know if I can pinpoint the regents for that cost, but I do know that many departments and student services are undergoing budget cuts. - As told to Emily Angell TALKING POINTS ter is she has noth- ing except her moral authority." - DESMOND TUTU, an Anglican archbishop in South Africa, on pro-democracy activist Aung San Suu Kyi's resistance to South African military rule. Three things you can talk about this week: 1. Gender identity and expression 2. "A Wrinkle in Time" 3. Looming autoworker strikesT E EEK Y Wednesday, September 9 2007 The Michigan Daily QUOTES OF THE WEEK "All of a sudden, you just get The fact of the mat- corrupt, ignorant, stupid, lazy and promiscuous." And three things you can't: 1. Whether to Pass/Fail or suffer a B- 2. "What Perez Says" 3. Ryan Mallett BY THE NUMBERS Number of Peruvian artifacts Yale University has pledged to return to the government to the government of Peru Year Yale Prof. Hiram Bingham discovered and excavated several tombs at Machu Picchu in Peru Hours in representatives of Yale and the Peruvian government spent negotiating terms of the artifact's return Source: The New York Times Where the hell is Matt? Matt Harding, a 30-year-old Connecticut man, can be seen dancing in 36 different countries on all seven continents. He begins in Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia, flailing his arms and legs while "Sweet Lullaby" by Deep Forest plays in the background. Matt quit his job in 2003 to trav- el. After his friend gave him the idea to record himself dancing, he made his first YouTube video. In 2005, he went dancing again, this time sponsored by Stride Gum. The camera is never close enough to see his face clearly, only his gan- gly arms and legs moving in time to the music. Mostly he dances on land, but he's seen underwater on occasion. On his website, Matt said there is no message to his video, he just likes dancing. He maintains a blog document- ing his travels at wherethehellis- matt.com while planning his next dancingvoyage. - EMILYBARTON See this and other YouTube videos of the week at youtube.com/user/michigandaily - KWAME KILPATRICK on how, despite his law degree, people still view him as an unqualified mayor. "The scheme is working. People want the prizes. - ANDREI MALYKH, chief doctor in the Russian prov- ince Ulyanovsk, on the success of a regional initiative to boost the birth rate by rewarding women who have babies on Russia Day. K THEMED PARTY SUGGESTION Iranian nuclear war contingency plan - Stock up on dry goods and whiskey. And after 11 p.m., bar the doors. No one in, no one out. Let the paranoid tension fester. Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStotement@umich.edu WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE OF THE WEEK "Charles Guiteau" Charles Julius Guiteau (September 8,1841-June 30,1882) was an American lawyer who assassinated President James A. Garfield on July 2,1881. He was sentenced to death by hanging. Guiteau was routinely beaten by his father as a child and left home at an early age. He inherited $1000 from his grandfather as a young man and went to Ann Arbor, Michigan to attend the University of Michigan, but failed the university's entrance examinations. He then joined the controversial religious sect known as the Oneida Community, but despite "free love" aspects of that sect, he was gener- ally rejected during his years there and nicknamed "Charles Get-out." Guiteau then obtained a law license in Chicago, based on an extremely casual bar exam. He started a law firm in Chicago based on ludicrously fraudulent recommendations from virtually every promi- nent American family of the day. He was not successful. Guiteau's interest turned to politics. He wrote a speech in support of Ulysses S. Grant called "Grant vs. Hancock", which he revised to "Garfield vs. Hancock" after Garfield won the 1880 Republican prima- ries. The speech was delivered at most two times, but Guiteau believed himself tobe largely responsible for Garfield's victory. After being denied an ambassadorship, he decided that God had commanded him to kill the ungrateful President. On July 2, 1881 Gui- teau shot Garfield twice from behind at a New Jersey railroad station. Guiteau became a media darling during his trial for badmouthing his defense team, formatting his testimony in epic poems, and solicit- ing legal advice from random spectators in the audience via passed notes. At one point, he argued that Garfield was killed not by himself but by medical malpractice ("The doctors killed Garfield, I just shot him"), which was more than a little true.