The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - SA
MTV's golden
standard
urtesy o Anchor Ba
Excellent makeup.
Anatomy of a bloodbath
By JEFFREY BLOOMER
ManagingEditor
To Chekhov's axiom that a gun
introduced in an early scene will
surely make
an appearance
in the last, the
appealingly
lowbrow new Behind the
thriller "Behind Mask
the Mask: The
Rise of Leslie At the State
Vernon" has an Theater
amendment: If Anchor Bay
you introduce
a rusty, on-the-
outs apple juicer in an early scene,
it's going to mean bad news for
someone later.
And so it does. Happily the film,
released by the sleepy genre dis-
tributor Anchor Bay, is mostly wel-
come news for fans of "Scream"
and other self-conscious horror
movies that want to tell us every-
thing that's going to happen and
then somehow make it surprising
when it actually does. "Behind the
Mask" can't quite pull of that trick,
but it provides a modest good time
in pursuit of it.
The movie's gimmick is familiar:
It opens with a documentary film
crew making the rounds through
the classic haunts of horror films
past, from Elm Street to Haddon-
field, waxing inane about the invin-
cible monsters of the most famous
American horror franchises. Soon
the film goes a little "Blair Witch"
and gets to follow the film crew
in their search for the next great
killer, apparently a skinny 20-
something named Leslie Vernon
(Nathan Baesei). Our heroine, Tay-
lor (Angela Goethals), is the host'
and director of the documentary,
following bemusedly as Leslie acts
out his plan to stalk a young virgin
girl because of some fuzzy familial
connection and ultimately to the
abandoned old house where the
final confrontation will take place.
"Behind the Mask" is lightheart-
ed and gregarious in these early
scenes, a little too much so. We all
know the classic tropes of horror
pictures - the survivor girl, the
kids who go upstairs and stay, the
early hints of the Past We Do Not
Know - and the film seems at first
to thinklisting themoff is enoughcto
pass as parody. But as the plot pro-
gresses, the dry, incidental touches dissertation of every phallic and
deliver the punch line: Leslie works vulvic symbol of the genre before
out, or "doing cardio" as he says, resigning itself in the final act to
because there's nothing worse than a transparent run-through of the
a victim who can outrun you. His same conventions it just hung out
parental figures, a retired slasher to dry. That's the joke, I guess, but
and the woman who got away, like with "Scream," there's a cer-
fancy his vocation as something of tain dissatisfaction in watching a
an extreme sport: Obviously they movie that has so much fun with its
in-premise at first only to let it go
on autopilot in the end. -
A sad sight when Despite this there's still some-
thing to be said for seeing the
a film becomes movie, which I wouldn't discour-
age, especially a film this unabash-
edly low budgetin a theater like the
W t d State (side note: "Grindhouse" will
open there, yes?). There's charac-
ters called things like "Stoned Guy"
wish he had gone with a "less dan- and "Slightly More Stoned Guy,"
gerous" profession, they tell us, but and at times the film approaches
they respect his calling. a subtlety in its satire that goes
The film goes on like that for beyond knowing the last names of
some time before it drops its moc- every neighbor in "Halloween."
kumentary aspects abruptly and Even Robert Englund shows up as
the predestined outcome begins to the resident Dr. Loomis. If the story
go awry - that is for anyone who in "Behind the Mask" never really
hasn't seen a horror movie. The pays off, it's perhaps forgivable for
problem with "Behind the Mask," the obvious zeal the filmmakers
and it's the same problem with and their cast put into pilferingthis
"Scream," is that the movie spends old, downtrodden genre for the
its first two-thirds molding into a very little it's still worth.
I'm sure you've been told that
MTV is the work of Satan
- a network solely devised
to spoil the youth of America and
carry out a swift and efficient
apocalypse. I'm sure you've also
been told that MTV provides
unique social commentary for
those willing to look deeper into
its constantly changing lineup.
Neither of
these state-
ments is com-
pletely false
- well, maybe
the satanic
apocalypse
thing is a bit of '
a stretch.
MTV trans-
formed from MICHAEL
a channel that PASSMAN
played crappy,
"inappropri-
ate" music videos to a network
that plays almost no music videos
and instead airs "inappropriate"
scripted reality shows. The moral
of the story is that a lot of people
find MTV to be inappropriate,
and I can't totally disagree. Four-
year-old kids probably shouldn't
be watching MTV; that age is
more BET appropriate.
Yet any open-minded person
only needs to watch an episode
of the hilarious/tragic/depress-
ing mess that is "My Super Sweet
16" or "Laguna Beach" to see that
MTV is a spotlight on certain
flawed aspects of contemporary
society. The majority of MTV
reality shows have a relatively
simple message: don't act like
these assholes.
This was all something I was
fine with. I realize most people
watch "My Super Sweet 16" or
"Laguna" for simply entertain-
ment purposes, but the shows do
expose some of the more trouble-
some aspects of our society, so
it's not all bad. And I felt this way
about basically all MTV program-
ming until around a month and a
half ago when I startedwatching
MTV's "I'm From Rolling Stone,"
a show that gave six young jour-
nalists a chance to work for a
summer at Rolling Stone maga-
zine and vie for a yearlong con-
tributing editor position there.
A few weeks into the show, it
became clear that the contestants
were filling certain TV-friendly
roles. This came as no surprise
to me - it's an MTV show. The
initial application even required
a short video of each applicant,
something Rolling Stone's intern-
ship application doesn't require.
None of the finalists are truly
worthy of the golden ticket they
received. Russell repeatedly
showed up late and ignored his
work, Krishtine complained
about not getting hip-hop stories,
Krystal simply turned down sto-
ries. The contestants may have
had their moments, but no one
stood out from the rest. When
Krishtine was declared the win-
ner during the finale that pre-
miered this past Sunday, it was
more of a non-loss than a win.
While I wasn't surprised by
how the show unfolded, I didn't
realize why this was problematic
until recently. The issue lies in
the show's casting and how the
show fits in with the rest of the
MTV lineup, which attempts to
expose unique groups of young
people.
Although I realize that land-
ing a spot on "I'm From Rolling
Stone" isn't a complete reflec-
tion of one's journalistic abili-
ties, most people probably don't.
The contest's intent was to find
hungry, talented journalistic tal-
ent. Assuming the show found
the hungriest and most talented
would be a reasonable assertion
- except that it would be wrong.
Missing deadlines is hardly
acceptable at a college newspaper,
yet the people who were sup-
posed to be the best Rolling Stone
could find missed deadlines and
turned in half-baked stories left
and right. Almost anyone even
considering a career in journal-
ism would have busted their
ass all summer at Rolling Stone
if given the chance, yet these
contestants approached many of
their assignments with the focus
of a stoned Blockbuster clerk.
All Krishtine had to do to win
was complete most of her assign-
ments and write passable stories
- something none of the other
contestants were even capable of.
When "My Super Sweet 16"
shows some kid bitching because
her new BMW 3-Series isn't a
convertible, it's easy to see that
there's a lot of spoiled rich kids
out there. The difference is no
one is assuming these are the
most impressive 16-year-olds on
the planet.
But the contestants on "I'm
When the cast
is so stupid it
isn't even fun to
judge them.
From Rolling Stone" were sup-
posed to be the best of the best.
"American Idol" doesn't keep
contestants on because they're
good TV personalities. "Idol"
exploits certain contestants dur-
ing the first few weeks of the
show and occasionally someone
hangs on too longbecause they're
hot (see: Antonella Barba), but
they're never seriously consid-
ered. And that's pop music, now
the lowest form of art in America.
You're telling me MTV and Roll-
ing Stone have lower standards
than "American Idol"?
The show conveyed the idea
that the nation's elite young
journalists are only capable of
doing the bare minimum. If that's
assumed to be true, then every-
one who got cut before them must
have been incapable of properly
completing their application.
Maybe I was wrong about
MTV - it just might be the work
of the devil after all.
- Passman never misses
deadline. Ever. He can be reached
at mpass@aumich.edu.
You mean this reality showis ... real'?
By MARK SCHULTZ
DailyArts Writer
A little girl sits on her school bus,
desperately trying to contain her
bladder from
exploding as
the driver fixes ***k
a faulty tire.
She has almost This
reached the
end of her rope Amieican
when she has ijfe
the bright idea
to urinate under Thursdays at
her seat - after 10:30 p.m.
all, no one will Showtime
know, right?And
no one did know,
until the bus started moving and
the contents of her bladder sloshed
through every row.
This is an example of when
seemingly good ideas meet cold,
hard reality - the theme of the pilot
of "This American Life." And it's
funny because it showcases human-
ity at its most desperate and bizarre
without a trace of sentimentality.
Fans of public radio will prob-
ably be familiar with "This Ameri-
can Life," which is produced by
Chicago Public Radio and airs on
radio stations all over the country.
The show is composed of three
segments spotlighting the lives of
ordinary Americans doing extraor-
dinary things. These are essentially
human-interest stories, but with an
odd twist to each of them.
One American life examined
in the pilot is that of Ralph Fisher,
a cowboy from Texas who loved
his bull, Chance, so much that he
decided to clone it. The clone, how-
ever, was not as sweet-tempered as
the original, and ended up head-
butting Fisher, landing him in the
hospital. This sounds like the type
of dumb-redneck story "The Daily
Show" would take arid mercilessly
make fun of. But "Life" is classier
than that; it has no political or
social agenda: It merely presents
the facts. And when the story is
presented in such a straightfor-
ward way, the viewer starts to real-
ize maybe these people aren't so
nuts after all. Sure, Fisher is crazy
for keeping his cloned pet bull after
it nearly kills him, but hasn't every-
body loved someone or something
so much that they just can't let go?
These are the types of issues "Life"
raises, and they are explored with-
out the schmaltzy music or peda-
gogical preaching of other "human
interest" shows.
The style of "Life" also benefits
from a lack of pretension. Creator
Ira Glass creates the feel oflistening
to a radio broadcast by introducing
segments from his news desk and
narratingthem in an informal, con-
versational tone. But Glass never
steps over the line of belittling his
subjects, though it would be easy
to ridicule a group of people who
spend their nights doing jumping
jacks in department stores.
The great thing about "Life,"
and what will help it succeed, is
the audience it has the potential to
attract. Whoever you are, it's hard
not to take something from the
show. Pubescent boys will guffaw
at Fisher's wife admitting he "tore
his scrotum," and old people will
smile at the stories of people try-
Peeing under
your seat, and
other life lessons.
ing to make a difference. But there
is one thing every demographic
can agree on. In a world where
television entertainment increas-
ingly consists of scripted shows that
claim to be "reality," it's a nice feel-
ing to watch a show filled with real
people doing real things, whether
they're crazy or not.
The 'Road' less took, and for good reason
By BEN MEGARGEL
Daily Arts Writer
There's an old saying that you
should try a little
bit of everything.
When it comes to
television shows,
this approach can October
result in a formu- Road
laic disaster. Case
in point: "October Thursdays
Road," the latest at10 p.m.
drama from ABC ABC
to follow ratings
Courtesy of ABc behemoth"Grey's
Anatomy" on Thursday nights.
The series follows Nick Garrett's
(played by Bryan Greenberg, "One
Tree Hill") return to his hometown
10 years after leaving. After pub-
lishing a successful novel which
paints an unflattering portrait of
his former life, Nick must reunite
with some former buddies, some of
whom embrace him and others who
do not.
"October Road" is a minefield
of television cliches and abysmal
unoriginality. The debut episode
sets in motion a host of seen-it-all-
before plot arcs, most predictably
Nick's (shocking!) discovery that
his ex-high school flame (Laura
Prepon, "That 70's Show") bore his
child without informing him. The
actors look supremely bored play-
ing these roles, especially Prepon,
whose quirky good looks and tom-
boyish charm are reigned in for
mass appeal.
Instead of hiring big-name talent
or refreshing newcomers, the cast
of quasi-known actors reads like a
call sheet for a cancelled C-rate sit-
com. Bill Bellamy's ("The Bill Bel-
lamy Show") performance as Nick's
unbearably obnoxious agent reeks
of someone desperate for a hit.
These disparate ratings ploys are
paired with the- droll of formulaic
May be worse
than watching
'Grey's Anatomy.'
adult contemporary hits, which are
already overplayed on other shows.
"October Road" has almost noth-
ing new to add to modern televi-
sion. Although it is striving to be a
long-form "Garden State," it ends
up only being its unfortunate mutt
cousin.
It may look like fun, but it's not. Really.