B
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
THURSDAY, JANUARY 25,2007

The good
and the
over-hyped
t's easy to trash bad movies we
can all agree are bad. No one's
going to protest a zero-star
review of "Date Movie." What's
more difficult is convincing people
a movie everyone loves really isn't
that good at all. So now I give to you
the most overrated films of 2006:
Take Robert De Niro's "The
Good Shepherd." This has prob-
ably received the most mixed
reviews out of the three films, but
I feel particular animosity toward
it because it wasted three entire
hours of my
life rather
than the
usual two.
It's astonish-
ing that this
received top
ratings in
some critical
circles and at PAUL
least one had TASSI
the balls to
claim it to be "'The Godfather' of
spy movies."
In the film, Matt Damon gives
Schwarzenegger a run for his
money as he mimics a soulless
robot to perfection. Throughout
the entire three hours he fails to
alter either his facial expression
or the tone of his voice, and, along
with the rest of the cast, magically
doesn't age over the course of 20
years. His co-stars, De Niro and
Joe Pesci, have about 10 minutes
of screen time between them.
Angelina Jolie, as a long-suffering
housewife, fails at her sole objec-
tive of making Damon's character
seem more human.
The long-winded film climaxes
with the "Bay of Pigs" disaster
where we are told the entire
operation was foiled by one man
accidentally overhearing one word
which was unnecessarily repeated
to someone who happened to be a
spy. If that's really how our gov-
ernment operates, I'd hate to see
what actually caused Sept. 11.
Next we have a fan favorite,
"Dreamgirls," which so far has
three Golden Globes and eight
- yes that's correct - eight Oscar
noms. Look, don't get me wrong:
This is an entertaining feature, but
the hype surrounding the film is
flat-out undeserved. I'm even will-
ing to overlook the fact that musi-
cals generally don't have coherent
or logical plots (Jamie Foxx going
from car salesman to record mogul
in an hour), but sometimes this
movie is just too much to take.
The only person worthy of any
sort of recognition in the film
is Eddie Murphy, and he isn't
given nearly enough screen time.
Instead, he's overshadowed by
the "Cinderella story" of Jennifer
Hudson. People were whispering
about this former "American Idol"
finalist's best supporting actress
nomination when it was first
announced she would be a part of
the star-studded spectacle.
There's just something not right
about saying Hudson deserves an
acting award here. Yes, she sings
circles around Beyonce, and it's
fun to hear the whole audience
shout out "You go, girl!" every
time she hits a high note, but that's
not acting. Giving her an acting
award because she's really good at
singing would be like giving Jet
Li the same award because he's
really good at fighting. Talents

like acting and singing are mutu-
ally exclusive, and this is not the
Grammys.
Now I know I'm going to get a
lot of flak for this last one. It may
conflict with opinions of crit-
ics everywhere, my editors and
my co-workers here at the Daily,
but "Little Children" is just not a
good movie. It hasn't been widely
released yet, but come Oscar sea-
son you'll be hearing about it - for
some reason. Think "American
Beauty" meets "Desperate House-
wives" in a tale of suburban bore-
dom and infidelity. Now subtract
See TASSI, page 3B

~ , ,

He would probably look great in a Borat speedo.

0
2006: All style,
litl sbstance
By Kristin MacDonald Associate Arts Editor

ovies looked good last year. Really, really good.
From the grainy texture of Michael Mann's
gritty "Miami Vice" to the soft pastels of "The
Painted Veil's" Chinese highlands to "The Good German's"
glossy black-and-white Berlin, 2006 offered a wealth of
eye-popping visuals. But with the camera technology and
computer graphics available today, such quality images
have come to be expected, and whatever leaps and bounds
the movies might have made in 2006 towards developing
pageantry seem somewhat hollow next to the year's over-
all lapse in bare storytelling. The demand for both style and
substance is age-old, but 2006 largely forgot how to strike
a balance.
Even Pixar tripped up, and how it did so is indicative of

so many other near-misses. Although the animation giant's
playpen-colored "Cars" featured the rounded edges and
celebrity cast of its usual winning formula, its stick-with-
your-friends message came in an unusually mundane story
arc with disappointingly stock characters. After all, Pixar's
"Toy Story" crew may learn the same moral by the end of
that movie, but they at least have to overcome a shockingly
sadistic next-door neighbor to make it there. "Cars" does
present new vistas of CGI possibility with several stunning
sequences of the American desert, and it has its fair share of
cute visual puns. What it lacks, however, is the final satisfy-
ing rush of a work like "The Incredibles," whose end builds
See STYLE, page 3B

Childs'r play
for grown-ups
B - --- -- M-
By Jeffrey Bloomer I Managing Editor

quick survey of last year's kiddie cinema confirms
a trend that's been in the works for years: Com-
puter-animated films like "Cars" and "Happy
Feet" were among the highest-grossing of the year, while
live-action entries like "How to Eat Fried Worms" and
"Hoot" were among the biggest and most embarrassing
failures.
In fact, outside of franchises ("The Santa Clause," for a
particularly egregious example) and literary adaptations,
most studios don't even attempt live-action children's fare
at all anymore, deeming the animation subset an easier and
more modern mode for attracting family audiences. Even
2D animation is out. Supply and demand necessitates it.

And yet, oddly, these types of pictures refuse to die,
instead cropping up to fill an unusual niche. It has been
noted for years that the animated side of the spectrum, in
the wake of "Shrek" and other self-consciously 21st-cen-
tury variations on classic kids' stories, has increasingly
broadened their target audience. The customary tenets of a
children's story are still in place - the physical humor, the
obvious lesson-learning interplay between characters - but
so is a suggestive subtext that would only occur to adults in
the audience. Sex jokes and pop-culture allusions abound in
stories that were once arenas solely for light-hearted moral-
See KIDS, page 3B

LUS
=LIST

Jan. 26 to 29
The Daily Arts
guide to the
best upcom-
* ing events - it's
everywhere you
should be this
week and why.

ON STAGE
Here's your big chance to see a
select handful of Ann Arbor/Detroit
bands on the same night - and all
for the price of a bowl of lobster
bisque at Le Dog. Check out folk
group Canada, guitarist Mick Bas-
sett (moonlighting as a solo act from
his band The Dollfaces), rockers
Satin Peaches and indie kids Rescue
tonight at The Blind Pig. It'll be quite
the splendid mash-up of genres, and
a good deal, too. Doors open at7 p.m.
and tickets are $6.

AT THE MIC
He's clarified the many differ-
ences between baseball and football.
He's outlined the numerous gram-
matical uses of everyone's favorite
f-word. Now irreverent comedian
George Carlin is returning to the
Michigan Theater for two shows
this Saturday at 7 and 10 p.m. Be pre-
pared to laugh your ass off if he pulls
the "Seven Dirty Words" out of the
hat. Generally focusing on the flaws
found in America, Carlin might have
a hard time finding material.

ON STAE
The Detroit Opera won't resume
until March, so get your opera fix at
the Michigan Theater this Sunday
with ahigh-definition rebroadcastof
the New York Metropolitan Opera's
latest production in Dolby Digital
Surround Sound. Critically revered
tenor Placido Domingo plays the
legendary Emperor Qin in the world
premiere production "The First
Emperor," a Chinese epic staged by
"House of Flying Daggers" director
Zhang Yimou.

ON SCREEN
Mix yourself a white Russian,
buy a rug that really ties your room
together, know your nomenclature
and bust out your bowling shoes.
The timeless cult classic "The Big
Lebowski" screens at midnight this
Saturday as part of the State The-
ater's month-long tribute to the Coen
Brothers. If you have not seen Jeff
Bridges as the legendary Dude - or
John Goodman and Steve Buscemi as
his hapless friends - you, my friend,
are no member of this generation.

i