The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, January 17, 2007 - 5A A day in the life? I'll pass, thanks. F or four hours this past Sun- has seen in I8 years and enduring day and Monday night, Jack roommates who demanded that I Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) watch the show, I've gotten sick of kicked a lot of terrorist ass - or "24" without ever seeing it. It's not something like that. In truth, I have that I don't think it's a good show no idea what the "24" protagonist - I'm clearly in no position to say did during his four hours of real- that - it's just that all the hype has time, but I assume it had something shied me away. And don't confuse to do with terrorists, and this with not taking to a there may or may not show just because every- have been some sort of one else does; my unwill- nuclear/biological weap- ingness to watch "24" is far on of mass destruction from rebellious. It's simply hanging in the balance. because the masses have In fact, outside of the worn me out. hundreds of thousands _ I'm often told to watch of "24" promos that Fox an episode or two, then has forced down my MICHAEL decide if I want to watch throat over the past six PASSMAN more. The problem is, at years (yes, I'm keeping the moment I've already track), I've never seen Jack Bauer made up my mind about "24" kick any terrorist ass. - actually, Fox and my roommates It may surprise you that a TV have. Going into season one with columnist could be so oblivious anything less than a blank slate to what's purportedly one of TV's would certainly affect my opinion best dramas, but there's a valid - and that's not something I'm reason. I do watch a lot of TV, willing to do. more than most I suppose, but ESPN.com: Page 2's Bill Sim- Kiefer Sutherland doesn't fit into mons has always said that tele- any of it. vision needs to be consumed When asked why I don't watch "organically." Basically, this the show, I can never really come means that TV shows need to be up with a sufficient answer, but it usually comes back to one issue I've always had with this show Jack Bauer and that I've never actually seen. The issue: a lack of information. '24': Real-time Now, I know what you're think- ing: "What the hell are you talking overkill. about? '24' doesn't skip any details, it's in fucking real time." First off, calm down - there's no reason approached only when it seems to use profanity. While "24" does appropriate and you have a desire devote each season to an entire to watch. day, what it fails to do is cover I couldn't agree more.If you're the other 364 days a year of Jack coerced into watching a TV show, Bauer's life. you're never going to approach So, I propose to you "364," Fox's it with the open mind and time newest crappy sitcom smash-hit. that it requires. Not once have I It's a guaranteed home run. In the thought, "I should be watching '24' vein of "Everybody Loves Ray- right now." That's never happened. mond" and "The War At Home," So to dive into "24" just because "364" would be the standard people tell me I should would laugh-track-riddled mindless piece almost certainly result in me not of crap that I so desire. The prima- appreciating Jack Bauer's terror- ry cast would consist of Jack and ist-disposal techniques. his immediate family, his parents Unlike a film that only requires - who moved back from Florida watching 120 minutes of celluloid, because of a quarrel his mother seriously taking in a TV series had with a local flea-market ven- - especially a serial drama like dor - and his drinking buddies, "24" - requires a deeper commit- a group most likely composed of ment. If you don't like the first his childhood best friend, a token few episodes, you'll bail on the black guy and an unmarried co- series, won't know what the rest of worker whom his wife despises. the season has to offer and judge I'm guessing Donald Sutherland it unfairly. It's the equivalent of ("Pride & Prejudice") would star reading the first 30 pages of a 400- as Jack's neurotic father who's page book and declaring it the around the house way too much. worst book ever. Actually, there's no way in hell So who knows, maybe in 10 I'd watch that - but if Fox wants years after the "24" phenomenon me to produce it, I'm available. In has died down I'll give the show a all seriousness, the real reason why chance. But to start watching now, I don't watch "24" is the same rea- well, that just wouldn't be right. son most people started watching "24." After being bombarded with - Passman can be reached more promos than "The Simpsons" at mpassoumich.edu. A tale of 'Cowboys' Not abad 'Knight' SIMPLE MINDS MAKE . FOR EASY LAUGHS By IMRAN SYED Daily Arts Writer Every good sitcom has a goofball. Self- absorbed, out of touch or just eccentric, it's accepted that TV com- edies - preferably awash * C** in the frantic spurts of outrageous antics - ben- The Knights efit from simple charac- of Prosperity ters who break down large Wednesdays comedic themes to sim- at 9 p.m. ple quips and quirks. For ABC example, that last sentence was pretty dense, but Kramer from "Seinfeld" - king of goofballs - could easily convey the same message with an overplayed, ironic gri- mace. Perhaps he'd even throw in a slight gasp and his patented full-body swerve. But even if they're always sure to include a goofball, most sitcoms won't chance it with more than one - probably because the act can easily become desperate if allowed even one frame too many. So what can you say about a show like "The Knights of Prosperity," which features, more or less, an entire cast of goof- balls? .Believe it or not, it fits nicely into the show's premise; a few nobodies with their heads in the clouds vow to take what life never gave them - by robbing 63-year-old rock icon Mick Jagger. The ringleader of the Knights of Prosper- ity is Eugene Gurkin (Donal Logue, "Blade"), a janitor who's tired of paying his dues. Along Courtesy of ABC "Or maybe Billy Joel?" with his janitor buddy Francis (Lenny Venito, "War of the Worlds"), he recruits a handful of local misfits and sets a plan in motion to break into Jagger's New York City apartment to steal whatever they need to make their dreams come true. Among the crew comprised entirely of endearing incompetence: a hawkish cab driver, an ex-Colombian militant-turned-waitress and a gigantic Jewish supply warehouse security guard. Of course, all reputable operations must have an intern and the Knights have Louis, a communications major who joins them after being denied an internship at "The Montel Williams Show." Bummer. Though the Knights have a defined leader, there isn't a central character to dominate the plot. Instead, the story is a collaboration in buffoonery - albeit orchestrated by ambitious, scheming fools looking to accomplish a task so inane and absurd it's impossible not to appreci- ate their cunning attempt. They go through the most convoluted proce- dures imaginable to secure the key to Jagger's luxe apartment, and in their simplicity assume that a multi-million dollar facility is protected by one simple lock. The last scene in the pilot reveals how very wrong they are: Jagger's crib is protected by fingerprint scanners, security guards, metal detectors and a whole lot more - all awaiting our bold, beloved Knights, who will try that key very soon. The light air that pervades every scene is remarkable, considering this careless feel is what all sitcoms shoot for but only rarely man- age. As the audience, we love these people because they're willing to try anything, yet don't get hung up on anything. In the ingenious absurdity of it all, should these guys fail, they'd see no problem in saying, "Nice try guys, let's do Donald Trump next." "Knights" does lack an overall sense of pur- pose, and while that plays well into its carefree theme, it also takes away from its watchabil- ity. There are many empty moments when the show seems like nothing more than another "Arrested Development" wannabe, but these should get few and far between as the series hits its stride. It'll take at least a season to get into that department, but, driven by precise, incisive writing and benefiting from the charm of the ensemble cast, "Knights" should become among the better sitcoms on television - and is far and away ABC's best comedy. A pleasantly deranged tale of murder By JENNA PARKS Such olfactory mastery sets him For the Daily apart from other mundane citizens as he scours the city collecting new With all the beauty of a period and exotic odors. film set in 18th-century France, During his difficult youth work- "Perfume: ing in a tannery, Grenouille stum- The Story of a bles upon a beautiful maiden with Murderer"has an equally appealing scent. After much more to Perfume: his accidental murder of the girl, he offer than just The Story of savors her waning scent and real- looks alone. izes that he must never again let The film is a a Murderer such a precious thing slip between blend of gro- At the his fingers. tesque images Michigan Theater Enter Dustin Hoffman ("I Heart and a compel- DreamWorks Huckabees") as Giuseppe Baldini, a ling story, not master perfumer far past his prime. to mention an unprecedented Grenouille becomes his apprentice onslaught of nasal close-ups. An in an attempt to learn how to pre- adaptation of the best-selling novel serve the essences of objects, hope- by German writer Patrick Siskind, fully even those of beautiful young it rewards patient audiences with women. Grenouille's fine nose its dark humor and visual mastery. creates even finer perfumes, and Jean-Baptiste Grenouille (Ben Baldini is once again at the height Whishaw, "Stoned") is born among of French fashion and celebrated the filth and stench of Paris's fish among its most frou-frou social markets to an ungrateful mother circles. who discards him as easily as she When Grenouille discovers that throws out a rotten catch. Soon what he desires is still beyond his Grenouille lands in an orphanage reach, he leaves Baldini and sets off and quickly displays his odd inborn for the perfume capital of France. talent: an amazing sense of smell. The young man encounters anoth- er strikingly scented redhead, the impressive is how he is able to hold daughter of powerful businessman his own opposite such seasoned Antoine Richis (Alan Rickman, veterans as Hoffman and Rick- Professor Snape in the "Harry Pot- man. Though his resume is thin, he ter" films). Grenouille believes he stands up to the challenge as well as has found the object of his life's any other young Hollywood candi- obsession and knows he must claim date. Whishaw sells the character her powerful aroma. of Grenouille from his dirty nails to Many women and many murders his overactive nose without over- acting, no small feat for a role this outlandish. W hen the While the description of the wonderful smells of the film are olfactories govern tantalizing, there is obviously a lack of actual olfactory satisfaction from the mind. the film's two-dimensional world. Instead, director Tom Tykwer ("Run, Lola, Run") fills the impos- stand between Grenouille and his sible gap with beautiful scenery desired prize, but the townspeople and intense visuals. Through the soon discover a killer is among imagery that dominates the movie, them. One of the most wanted men the odors, both pleasant and repul- in France, Grenouille will stop at sive, come alive through the nose of nothing to achieve the perverse Jean-Baptiste Grenouille. pleasure he so badly desires. Though at times the sheer vul- With chiseled movie-star garity and absurdity overpowers looks planted awkwardly atop a the film's plot, the tidy ending is sat- scarecrow frame, newcomer Ben isfying and precise. Not for the faint Whishaw brings a kind of startling, of heart or those with weak stom- tangible creepiness to the role of the achs, "Perfume" offers a splendid murderer Jean-Baptiste. Even more aroma of romance, horror and art. and their blow By MICHAEL PASSMAN Daily Arts Writer Jon Pernell Roberts has a prob- lem: He's got too much money and nowhere to put it. But that's ** Or the kind of occupational Cocaine hazard a young Cowboys entrepreneur In stores runs into when next Tuesday importing Magnolia cocaine from Columbia's Medellin cartel. Roberts, a key player in Miami's cocaine boom of the '70s and '80s, immortalizes his roller-coaster tale of drugs, blood and money in "Cocaine Cowboys." The film is not the first piece of media to touch on Miami's coke- fueled heyday (i.e. "Scarface," "Miami Vice" and gaming favorite "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City"). But it's the first memorable docu- mentary to delve into what actually happened. It opens with Roberts, girlfriend Toni Muni and smuggler Mickey Munday detailing how their opera- tion began. Oftentimes Roberts and Munday give conflicting accounts of people and situations, with Roberts holding the reasonable stance for the most part. Munday comes off as preoccupied but cool, dismiss- ing almost everyone else as lucky or dumb. He's also quick to point out his success stories, like when he towed a broken-down customs boat to shore while giving the cus- toms officers a ride back on his boat - which was stocked with millions of dollars The fil coverage Griselda fall. Eve drug tra overlookE Mc] MO Per lion beca of Blanca of Cuban murder r ishing th worth of coke. not to think that many of the nega- m hits its high point in its tive externalities that devastated of"GodmotherofCocaine" the city could have been avoided Blanco and Miami's down- if not for the greed and ruthless- ryone's heard about the ness of a few. The film does a fine fflicking, but what's often job of contrasting the earlier high ed is how dark the situa- points of Miami's coke era with its depressing aftermath, illustrating how it shaped the Miami of today. That said, the documentary's faults are clear. The quick cuts ,untain '-vith coupled with the synth-dominated soundtrack become distracting. 'uvian 'white. The subject matter is engaging enough that the film's heavy styl- ization isn't necessary. "Cocaine Cowboys" isn't likely to ame. With the emergence go down as the definitive documen- and Castro's deportation tary about cocaine's rise and fall in criminals to Miami, the Miami, but if nothing else, it should ate skyrocketed. After fin- serve as a cautionary tale to ambi- se documentary, it's hard tious Roberts wannabes. I WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 7 PM INTERNATIONAL CENTER, ROOM 9 for more information about the Peace Corps, visit www.peacecorps.gov or call 312.353.4990 loll -dwwK mmi i_ j-