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Rain
on our
'Parade'
MY CHEMICAL
ROMANCE TAKES EMO
TO THE DARK(ER) SIDE
By CAITLIN COWAN
Daily Arts Editor
On a recent episode of MTV's "Total Request
Live," now more vapid than ever, emo goth-
rockers My Chemical
Romance stopped in for a *
visit. The black-clad audi-
ence that faced the band My Chemical
when they appeared was Romance
stereotypical, but the The Black Parade
ideas the band offered Reprise
while on the show were,
surprisingly, not.
While the choice to release The Black Parade
today, on Halloween, is admittedly a pretty
gimmicky move, the band is currently sporting
a new look that involves much more artistry
they described as being "like Sgt. Pepper's, but
in black." The band ditched the red eye shadow
and high school clique references in favor of a
darker, more pulled-together look.
The band worked with Hollywood costume
designer Colleen Atwood to create their crisp
new look. Lead singer Gerard Way, who is
flaunting a new bleach-blonde crew cut that
makes him look older and more ghoulish than
ever, used to work as an illustrator. After meet-
ing with Atwood, Way handed her a sheaf of
drawings that he and his bandmates had con-
ceived, and she produced a series of outfits that
made their dark dreams springto life. Atwood,
who has worked on films like "Memoirs of a
Geisha," said in a "TRL" clip that working with
the band to design their new look was one of
the most fun and successful collaborations of
her career.
And believe it or not, My Chemical Romance
has made a solid album to go with new outfit-
ting. Given that The Black Parade is a concept
record centered on the idea of, well, death, it's
catchy nonetheless.
The band's buttoned-up, self-proclaimed
Sgt. Pepper style is obvious in the music video
for their latest single, the title track from The
Black Parade, which is one of the best tunes on
the album. A slow, creeping intro gives way to a
full-on head-banging pop intro, boasting "We'll
carry on / We'll carry on!" as its resounding
chorus.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The
spooky album begins with "The End," a sweep-
ing, swelling interlude that leads right into

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 5

Now airing: Voice
of our generation

:ourtesy of Reprise

"if you wondered whether you could take us seriously, aiiow this pictue to be your guide"

the first real straight-up rock track. "Dead!,"
perhaps the closest the group will come to
humorous song titles, stands out as one of the
catchiest tunes.
Embarrassing as it may seem, sometimes
it just feels good to channel some 14-year-old
angst and scream your throat raw on lyrics
like "Can't you hear me cry out to you?" It feels
even better when you can sing along with the
full knowledge that My Chemical Romance
borrows heavily from Pink Floyd on tracks like
"This Is How I Disappear." And it works.
The track "Cancer" reverts to archetyp-
al emo-crap, and it's embarrassingly sappy.
Any guesses for what this one's about? Luck-
ily for My Chemical Romance, the band
doesn't succumb to maudlin moments like
this often, and "Cancer" is just about the
only lowpoint on the coolly sinister album.
On the track "Teenagers," Way sings "Teen-
agers scare the livin' shit out of me," and it's
impossible not to smile. with this kind of sense
of humor.
Clear Channel alt-rock stations haven't had
this much fun since The Offspring's Dexter
Holland proclaimed "My friend's got a girl-
friend and he hates that bitch" on the radio

during the opening of "Why Don't You Get a
Job." The lyric "What you've got under your
shirt / Will make them pay for what they did"
is little creepy, but (hopefully) just satirical.
Thefinaltrack,"Untitled,"showcases Gerard
Way at the zenith of his Vaudevillian weird-
ness. The poky piano line and Way's sideshow
barker impersonation make The Black Parade's
exit as interesting as its entrance. "I gave you
blood, blood / Gallons of the stuff/ I gave you
all that you could drink and it had never been
enough," Way sings. Whether this vampire-
inspired tune lends itself to the whole death
and Halloween motif or is part of a forthcom-
ing Red Cross campaign remains to be seen,
but the track is kooky and fun nonetheless.
Gimmicks aside, My Chemical Romance
have made an unlikely concept album that
takes them a step beyond their label as the
band of choice for unhappy high schoolers. The
Black Parade is a perfect Halloween addition
to your emo arsenal, especially because these
days the band is out to prove themselves to a
larger, older audience. Let's face it: There are
plenty of damaged, overly emotional adults out
there who can relate to the dark, shadowy rock
on The Black Parade.

Ernest Hemingway and F.
Scott Fitzgerald told the
tale of "the lostcgeneration,"
pointing out the cultural shortcom-
ings and personal illusions that
made it so. They were the preemi-
nent critics of their time,
immortalizing much
of what we remember
about that era.
Analysts and observ-
ers have been appalled p
at the lack of such clear k
chroniclers for our
MTV generation. But
expectations of finding IMR
the sharp criticisms of SYED
our age in novels ignore
the changes in popular media.
One entire outlet for critique has
been entirely overlooked because
it remains misunderstood. Some-
times, it's easiest to understand
what something is by first clari-
fying what it isn't, so let's begin
there.
Contrary to popular campus
belief, so-called fake news pro-
grams like "The Daily Show with
Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert
Report" are not meant to serve as
anyone's primary source for news.
World events, catalogued as they
are by a bevy of sources on the air-
waves, in print and online, are best
covered by only these outlets, bor-
ing though they may make them
seem. You must have an under-
standing of political players and
situations to appreciate the satire
Stewart and Colbert spout - no
differently really from the political
skits on "Saturday Night Live."
"The Daily Show" and "The
Colbert Report" simply can't offer
that vital context. Despite what
thousands of teenagers swear
in their Facebook profiles, "The
Daily Show" and "The Colbert
Report" are, in fact, failures as
primary sources of news. Their
brief contact with real events as
a platform for humor offer noth-
ing in the way of knowledge - but
they certainly aren't useless. They
are perhaps the most unheralded
champions of secondary analysis
of pop culture, politics and indeed,
the state of our society.
For example, let's take Stewart
and Colbert's joint appearance as
presenters at the Emmy Awards
in September. In their brief but
remarkably perceptive interplay,
Stewart acted as his off-screen
self while Colbert opted to stay in
character. The award they were
to introduce was "Outstanding
Reality-Competition Program,"
and don't think that's an accident,
either.
Stewartcame out and blandly
greeted the crowd ("Thank you
very much, it's a pleasure to be
here tonight"). Colbert's greeting
was more character-driven, pro-
claiming, "Good evening, Godless
sodomites."
In what followed, Stewart acted
embarrassed at his colleague's
insistence upon staying in char-
acter and making colorful pro-
nouncements - exaggerations

of the ridiculous rhetoric that
dominates present-day political
discourse. When asked by Stewart
to just read the prompter, Colbert
points to his heart and replies, "I'm
reading the prompter in here."
Then follows a clever,
compact and stinging
indictment of the banality
of reality television. Done
slyly enough to keep from
offending the numerous
producers gathered in the
theater for Emmy night,
their dialogue has an
N undeniable ring of truth.
Stewart (hesitantly read-
ing the official prompter,
a look of defeat on his face) says
things like, "Reality television
celebrates the human condition
by illuminating what's extraordi-
nary in the ordinary person." In
turn, Colbert opines, "It warps
the minds of our children and
weakens the resolve of our allies."
The theater exploded in sustained
laughter throughout the proces-
sion, the point impossible to miss.
And in those two short min-
Stewart and
Colbert as social
critics? Why not?
utes, on one of the most closely
monitored stages Hollywood will
see all year, Colbert and Stewart
did what they, and others of their
craft; do best - point out the
absurd in a popular facet of popu-
lar culture. The preceding banter
employed their two main meth-
ods: ridiculously overstating the
good and the bad to prove what
many of us have already come to
suspect.
Critics of culture come in all
shapes and mediums. The story
of this generation may very well
be told in literature, but strong,
maybe stronger, possibilities lie in
film, television and the Internet.
We must remember that much
of Hemingway and Fitzgerald's
work was overlooked in their
own time; indeed, Fitzgerald died
despondent, sure that his name
would quickly fade into oblivion.
And though they are both some-
times hesitantly embraced by the
Academy today, the powerful les-
sons of that lost age glow vibrantly
even in third and fourth readings
of "The Sun Also Rises" or "Ten-
der is the Night."
I don't for a moment pretend
that Stewart and Colbert will be
immortalized like those two great
American authors. ButI do wish
to stress that the significance of
their contributions in our analy-
sis of the events of our age and in
making television a viable medium
of cultural criticism can't, and cer-
tainly shouldn't, be denied.
-Syed can be reached
at galad@umich.edu.

'Bush' league: Lone season now on DVD

By MICHAEL PASSMAN
Daily Arts Writer
Ah, pre-Sept. 11- when the war
on Christmas was more terrifying
than the war on terror, President
Bush was only a laughable buffoon,
Saddam Hus-
sein owned SHOW:
many birth- ** *'
day palaces SPECIAL
and Britney FEATURES:
Spears didn't * *
have any
babies to drop. That's My
Things were Bush! The
just simpler Definitive
back then, and Collection
served as the C
perfect forum Comedy Cenlrai
for the first-
family sitcom spoof "That's My
Bush!": a strange vacuum where
the President's foibles didn't result
in dead soldiers showing up on TV
every night.
Createdby"SouthPark" master-
minds Trey Parker and Matt Stone,
"That's My Bush!" is both a spoof of
the common sitcom and its subject
matter, the Bush White House. The
tongue-in-cheek, "That's My Bush!
The Definitive Collection" comes
in an overly serious two-disk box
set that mocks other "special edi-
tion" DVD sets, and contains all
eight of the show's episodes. Each
combines an overused sitcom plot-
line with a relevant hot-button
issue and lampoons them both.
The primary cast of charac-
ters consists of President George
W. Bush (Timothy Bottoms, "The
Girl Next Door"), First Lady Laura
Bush (Carrie Quinn Dolin), Repub-
lican architect Karl Rove (Kurt
Fuller, "Desperate Housewives"),
witty White House maid Maggie
Hawley (Marcia Wallace, "The
Simpsons"), presidential assis-
tant Princess Stevenson (Kristen
Miller, "Team America: World
Police") and their next-door neigh-
bor Larry O'Shea (John D'Aquino,
"JAG"). Each character intention-

ally fits
archetyp
the show
All thi
is reallyz
track lad:
Bush
Com
IC

some time-tested sitcom The cast commentaries also end
e, further perpetuating unexpectedly during the middle
's farcical nature. of each episode, but no one should
ngs considered, the show notice, considering that anyone
more of a spoof of laugh- listening will stop paying attention
en sitcoms than the Bush to the commentary within a few
minutes.
It's mildly interesting to go back
doesn't need and watch these episodes, con-
sidering what's transpired in the
ed Central to years following their original air
dates - especially since Comedy
)ok stupid. Central hasn't shown reruns for
years - but after watching a few
episodes, it becomes clear that this
kind of spoof doesn't have any-

White House. In fact, Parker and
Stone mention in the DVD com-
mentaries that the show was going
to happen regardless of who ended
up winning the 2000 presidential
election. Sure, the show exploits
many of the president's less
impressive qualities, but it human-
izes him and makes him into the
Tim Allen-esque sitcom patriarch
to whom audiences gravitate.
But because "Bush" tries and
ultimately succeeds in modeling
itself after a bad sitcom, it ends up
being just that. It's not completely
terrible - it has its moments - but
in the end, it's nothing more than a
novel concept. The show is funnier
in theory than it is in practice and
quickly gets stale, even with so few
episodes.
For such a"definitive"collection,
the DVD contains almost no extra
features. The only content outside
of the episodes are two choppy
commentary tracks. The first of
which, with Parker and Stone,
resembles the mini-commentaries
found on all of the "South Park"
DVDs - five minutes per episode
of the duo discussing the general
motivations behind each episode
and the show as a whole. The other
track features most of the cast and
provides little worthwhile content.
Since the cast is composed of most-
ly no-namers, and they don't really
talk about anything interesting or
funny, it's not worth anyone's time.

thing to stand on.
The idea of the president steal-
ing cable TV seems funny. But ulti-
mately, the banality of "That's My
Bush!" just shows that watching

important people do stupid things
is much better left to Jon Stewart
and "The Daily Show."

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