8A-The Michigan Daily - Monday, October 9, 2006 Cook's latest, drops By Christina Choi Daily Arts Writer The worst part ** of grocery shopping: Employee of "Welcome to the Month Meijer! I'm At the Showcase so glad that amd Quality 16 you're here!" If you're Lionsgate lucky, there will be another shopper ahead of you to be used as a human shield from the cheery death rays of an overenthusiastic greeter. If you're not lucky, run like hell to the cart corral with your head ducked down. It's not that the greeting itself is bad - it's just that it's not genuine. The same can be said of hapless Super Club workers of "Employee of the Month," bright- blue vests and all. Zack (Dane Cook, "Waiting") is a lowly box boy who has perfected the art of slacking off while on the clock. With his trusty band of lack- eys, Zack contentedly spends his days puttering around Super Club and avoiding all forms of work. His life is predictably thrown into a tailpin when he becomes com- pletelyssmitten with what can only be the looks of the newest cashier, Amy (Jessica Simpson, "The Dukes of Hazzard"). Problem is, the slick, blond- haired, blue-eyed "alpha male" and head Super Club cashier, Vince (Dax Shepard, "Zathura"), feels the same way. A vicious bat- tle ensues to see who can collect enough gold stars ("Super Mario," anvone?) to win the emnlovee-of- Down the street:'Ypsisongs' By Brian Chen For the Daily "Mostly, America is the speech of the people," wrote John Dos Passos, author of the "U.S.A." Various trilogy. It's Artists difficult to Ypsisongs argue with his sentiment cerberus - from small suburbs to bustling metropo- lises, the dialogue of the every- day citizen defines the ethos of his environment. It's fitting, then, that Cerberus Records has brought together an assortment of local musicians to depict Ypsilanti in its preciously titled Ypsisongs compilation. The artists involved have brought together their disparate experi- ences to recreate the essence of their hometown, but the end result doesn't always make for compelling music. If there's anything mislead- 'te ing about geographically based albums, it's that they aren't actually about geography - at uly least, they shouldn't be. Sufjan ion. Stevens' Michigan was never mo- really about Michigan, but in ntly Ypsisongs, several artists appar- pit- ently didn't get the memo. Per- as x of i M L elf. are Th , r W W $$$} T# me use des ces ble. his tar- ort, ohn did Ise- liv- _ an,3' vith 3 orn ate haps the guiltiest song is the appalling "Ypsilanti Is A Great Place To Live," an awkward musical tour highlighting the city's hot spots. Its bridge fea- tures a maddening chant of "Y- P-S-I-L-A-N-T-I!" and it's just as aggravating as it sounds. "I Used To Call You Home," a love letter penned to Ypsilanti itself, features a mesmerizing duet proclaiming affection for the city of the singers' childhood. Vailcode's autumnal "View From An Upstairs Window" glances across the cityscape and reminisces on past days, an alt- country accompaniment to leaf- ing through worn sepia prints in an old photo album. The effec- tiveness of such songs comes from their unflinching intimacy - they're models of unabashed songwriting, the type that exudes the sort of personal emo- tion most musicians struggle to express coherently. From the hollow vocals to the stripped-down instrumentation, the album makes no effort to masquerade its lo-fi production. "Normal Street" even opens with the obvious announcement: "This is a home recording." You can practically hear the crackling hiss of Memorex tape recorders; it's not hard to imag- ne a fledolinua nd or---A If "Saturday Night Fever" was shot at Meijer ... the-month award and, consequent- ly, Amy's heart. Will this prize beat out management's incentive of a "new-ish Chevy Malibu?" Only time will tell. Just like the majority of its char- acters, the film is firmly medio- cre. Zack's love for Amy seems cemented in the fact that they tend to say the same thing at the same time. Obviously, this is meant to be cute, but Amy actually just suffers from a limited vocabulary. Thankfully, her breasts valiantly fight to compensate. Vince requires a different form of support. His constant com- panion is Jorge (Efren Ramirez, "Napoleon Dynamite"), a dim- witted-but-faithful bagger with whom he shares a strange love- hate relationship ranging from mildly racist to slightly homo- erotic. While Vince validates his existence with his record checkout times, Jorge just really has a thing for Vince's '81 Honda. Neither character warrants the audience's concern. In fact, the only thing that tr works for the film is its locat Super Club's warehouse at sphere provides a conveniei familiar setting for sequences, ting Zach against Vince, such when the two race to get a bo bunion cushions off the top sh The store's various sections also creatively used to beco anything from a hidden clubho to a full-blown date that inclu dinner, a movie and golf. But even these unique spa fail to make the film memoral And for this, blame Cook for absolute failure to make the ch acter of Zack his own. In sh he simply doesn't do what J Heder's moronic monotone for "Napoleon Dynamite." Con quently, instead of the sharp de ery of an experienced funnym all his performance leaves us w is the aftertaste of stale popc and the whimper of a second-r comedv. into a tight Ypsilanti garage, compressing their sound into cheap and tinny microphones. It's not the immaculate produc- tion of major record labels, but its authenticity. Considering its purpose, Ypsisongs has a surprising lack of variety. The album is more or less a country and folk affair, with most songs limited to acoustic guitar and vocals. Occasionally a few songs dif- ferentiate themselves but only because of the impressiveness of their failure. Dirt Road Log- ic's "The Ypsilanti Vigilante" flounders, attempting to achieve a sinister tone despite goofy lyr- ics and insipid instrumentation. Meanwhile, "Ypsilanti Jaxxy" recalls old-school hardcore, but the song is entirely confused, lost in its wall of noise. Perhaps it's the transparent production, or even the clumsy stumbles, but Ypsisongs brings to mind the shaky, handheld camera integral to cinama vdrit6 filmmaking. The naturalistic approach can be tricky, however - usu- ally, what you see is what you get. Instead, Ypsisongs gives all that it's able: the sometimes compelling, sometimes tedious, but always genuine dialogue of its people. More Allen at the Michigan By Sarah Schwartz Daily Arts Writer Woody Allen's love letter to romance movies, "The Purple Rose of Cairo," is an The Purple honest look Rose of at the blurred Cairo line between fantasy and Tonight at realitywhich, TAtli in today's Michigan Theater world, is becoming hazier than ever. Every day, the gossip rags are filled with the goings on of the rich and the famous, to the point where people find it hard to dif- ferentiate between the actor and their character. So what would happen if a character came right off the screen and into your life? Ceci- lia (Mia Farrow, "Rosemary's Baby") faces this problem when her favorite character leaves his movie screen to come to her. And like all romantic charac ters, Tom Baxter (Jeff Dan- iels, "Dumb and Dumber") is perfect. He's head over heels for her, can kiss perfectly and spouts all those gushy roman- tic words. And for a woman in an abusive relationship during Depression-era America, this man is quite the catch. Even if he isn't quite real. The actor playing Tom, how- ever, is real, and less than happy with the sudden independence of his creation. Gil Shepard, also played by Daniels, comes to New Jersey to straighten out the situa- tion after Baxter's movie absence causes his film's other characters to be stuck on screen. It's ironic tat Baxter might be damaging Gil's career, since it's usually the actor's behavior that dam- ages his reputation, not the type of characters he or she plays. In reality, of course, life is less than a fairy tale. People are not perfect. Cecelia's humdrum daily routine lacks excitement and love, and she finds both in the movies. But in the end, like the movies, neither are real. L Be the first 100 people to visit the Michigan Daily newspaper office to win a pass good for two. Come to413 E. Huron St. after 5 p.m. today or tomorrow. Dream jobs-alumni have them. And we can hook you up with Michigan Apprentice. Spend a full day shadowing an alum in the field you're interested in and learn from the best. Put yourself in the marketing game at Ford Field with the Detroit Lions. This is the ultimate experience for anyone who plans on a career in any aspect of sports marketing. Stop the presses and learn about newspaper journalism at The Seattle Post- Intelligencer in the newsroom and on the beat with a reporter. Spend a day with an alumni lobbyist meeting state and national political leaders and learning what a life in politics can offer. Focus your sites on Target if you're interested in marketing. Spend a day at the world headquarters working with the top talent of this successful team. Microsoft is a world leader in technology. Experience a day with Michigan alumni in this fast-paced industry. Michigan Apprentice is open to juniors and seniors. Those selected will shadow a U-M alumnus/a for one day at his or her company or organization. For companies located in other regions, travel and two nights of hotel expenses will be paid by AAUM. Application deadline is Friday, October 27. Get details on how to apply at www.umalumni.com/students. ALUMNIASSOCIATION UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN Uniting the Leaders and Best 4E om A