8 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, September 19, 2006 The new culture of trash-talking TV 4 "Stare at me long enough and I start to blend in." CBS goes young, steals no viewers By Mark Schultz Daily Arts Writer The characters of "Smith" are, to be frank, a bunch of assholes. They deceive their loved ones, taser inno- Smith cent bystand- Tuesdays at ers and steal 10 p.m. expensive CBS paintings, all in the name of their profession. Such are the demanding, high-profile lives of professional thieves. And with "Ocean's Eleven" and its sequel such big hits, it's inevitable that CBS would try to steal some of the audience for a poor man's version with Ray Liotta ("Narc") standing in for George Clooney. "Smith" banks on the idea that explosions, fighting and car chases translate well to the small screen, which might be a fair assumption. After all, viewers' TV rooms are morphing into home theaters and the threshold on TV material con- tinues to rise steadily. The margin of difference between Hollywood and television is constantly nar- rowing, and "Smith," a TV show with big-budget special effects, could be a successful product of the increasing technological unity between film and television. But many critics dislike these shows - and these movies - for the same reason audiences seem to like them. The dialogue is rou- tine, the music is an unrelenting pulse and, in the case of "Smith;' the concept of thieves trying to lead normal, everyday lives takes away the one thing that made them inter- esting in the first place. "Ocean's Eleven" worked because it gave the audience a titillating two-hour peek, but "Smith" is on every week. Writers will soon learn there are only so many valuables to steal and banks to rob. Thrills and chases might be everywhere, but the lack of substance serves the show poorly - Liotta in a ski mask might hide his aging grimace, but not the show's inanity. By Bernie Nguyen Managing Arts Editor There are a lot of things out there pro- claiming we're a godless society - that our greatest pleasure lies in watching celebrities and politicians get ripped apart, and that we derive some fundamental pleasure from watching Nancy Grace, whose helmet hair is perfectly suited to the barbarian-like way she clobbers viewers with her own brand of justice. I think there might be a religious sect somewhere in the heartland counting down the days until the apocalypse, and who can blame them? Tsunamis, hurricanes, floods and the only thing we care about is whether or not that really hot chick in the bikini will stab her best friend in the back for a wad of cash. TV culture is quickly degenerating into a culture of offense. Instead of art, comedy and substance, we've got shows on every network encouraging couples to cheat on each other. We've basically sold our grandmothers up the river for the chance to swing from a vine and eat chocolate naked on television. And it's even better when we can turn it into a race war. We surely aren't discriminatory enough in real life - let's make reality television the new hotspot for latent tension between ethnic groups. Let's watch the white people publicly confess their desire for those Hispanics to lose out. Awesome. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for entertain- ment, and there are shows on television that do just that without degrading their eager participants. "American Idol," for one. I'm not really a fan, but from what I see, it's like a karaoke competition on national television. And people love it. Reality television doesn't have to prey on the slick underbelly of moral- ity to be successful. Sure, Simon Cowell is cutting. But he's honest, and mean judges aren't a new invention. People don't watch American Idol for Simon. They aren't look- ing for cruelty. To some extent, reality TV is, in fact, real. We've always cheated, betrayed and lied to our friends and neighbors since we first start- ed walking upright. But never before have we so celebrated that fact. We're not ashamed of our faults anymore - we're proud of them. And we're damn proud that we've found a way to turn a profit on them. But after all, television is what people want to watch. No one would make shows like "Temptation Island" if there wasn't already a gaggle of vacant-eyed viewers waiting to be tempted by the vicarious meanness of thong- clad yuppies. And these bachelors, so slick and perfectly groomed, testing out women by the dozens based on nothing more than a first impression and sending them home while the spurned females weep into their confessional cameras about love, so soon lost. What love? Is this what we really think is romance? Are the promiscuous co-eds of "Real World" the role-models of today's middle-schoolers? It's not about being prudish. It's about recognizing that there are things that can't be personal anymore because television has pushed every sacred subject out the window and dressed it in pasties. It's spread to informational television, too. Instead of journalism, we have people like Grace and her crass "personality." All we hear her say is what the police do wrong, who was guilty. There's simply no way that she's wrong. Except often she is. And when she's wrong, she messes up big time. Claims that Grace drove a woman to suicide are beginning to tinge the edges of her show more than a little crimson. After an interview with Grace, dur- ing which the television prosecutor grilled her for information concerning her whereabouts and activities at the time of her son's disap- pearance, Melinda Duckett, whose two-year- Courtesy of NBC The latest look in fall knitwear. old is still missing, killed herself. The controversy surrounding the case comes from all sides. Did she kill herself out of guilt? Was it because she felt that her case was hopeless? Or was she simply "bashed," as her relatives claim? In the end, it doesn't really matter. What's sad is that even afterward, CNN still felt the compulsion to shock, and ran the interview anyway. What's sad is that the Schiavos and Ramseys of the world will almost certainly feel the aftereffects from the fact that their personal lives became another piece of sen- sational news. And why not? If we can watch a family of slightly obese, Juicy-wearing Oklahomans choke down dung beetles for a chance at $1,000, it's really not a far stretch to believe that we'll sell our own personal trag- edies, formerly the stuff of plays and poetry, if someone offers us the right price. Just make sure you negotiate. If Richard Hatch can get a million dollars by walking around naked on a beach, you should at least get that much for your dignity. Catch the Wave: Poetry bus to stop in A2 By Andrew Sargus Klein Associate Arts Editor In accordance with the Residential College's devotion to poetry, The Wave Books Poetry Bus Tour will stop tonight at 7 p.m. in East Quad- rangle's Residential College Auditorium, one the bus's 50 stops in as many days. The Rolling Stones don't even tour this hard. No, this is not the bus your parents wish they were on - you know, the one with Ken Keasey, fresh batches of LSD and an "NYC or Bust" manifesto. Simply put, this tour is about poetry. Founded in 2005 and based in Seattle, Wave Books' website describes its mission as "dedi- cated to publishing the best in American poetry by new and established The Wave authors." Books The tour's website, Poetry Bus www.poetrybus.com,hosts Tonight at 7 p.m. an ongoing blog. Visitors Free can enjoy pictures of the contributing poets in vari- Atast Quadrale ous locations along with anecdotes and general observations. Although the tour hosts several poets pub- lished under the Wave Books banner, its goal is not solely to promote its own - most of the tour's poets are not with Wave Books. Tonight's readers include the RC's own Ken Mikolowski, the heart and soul behind the recently rejuve- nated Alternative Press. When speaking to The Believer, a literary magazine, Wave Books's editor and tour orga- nizer Joshua Beckman said, "The bus tour is attempting to create an environment in which poets from over a huge geographical area have meaningful engagement - not only through reading and listening, but collaborating." Admission is free. Unabashedly proclaimed on the website as "the biggest literary event of 2006 and the most ambitious poetry tour ever attempted," it isn't possible to understate this event's importance. 1 one presentation limitless possibilities MERRILL LYNCH PRESENTATION University of Michigan Seniors are invite to atten DATE: September 21st TIME: 7:O-8:3Opm VENUE: Michiqan League: Koesler Roorn, 3rd Floor Merrill Lynch offers you unparalleled opportunities to build your career. Our premier brand and global capabilities create a strong foun- dation for you to explore a range of diverse career options. At this presentation you'll find out about our opportunities - and why it's a great time to join us. Plan to attend - and let's explore the possibilities together. Chief Financial Office Merrill Lynch is an equal opportunity employer. Merrsilynch ml.com/careers 4 4 4