Tuesday January17, 2006 arts. michigandaily.com artspage@michigandaily.com cleRTSgan aiig 8A Babies, porn and blow Courtesy of Disney "Remember what we learned in practice ... just add a few thousand crazy white people." 'ROAD OTO VICTORY HEART WARMING SPORTS FLICK SURPRISINGLY ASTUTE nly two weeks into the New Year and the media has latched onto an entertainment story that will saturate tabloids, TV shows and blogs for the next nine months. Specula- tion on Angelina Jolie's pregnancy was already in the air for at least a few weeks before their announcement that she is, indeed, carrying Brad Pitt's child. Soccer moms and housewives everywhere were further incensed when Jennifer Aniston's publicist announced that the couple didn't contact Pitt's former wife. Instead, she had to find out like the rest of us. Pitt might need to prepare for Tom Cruise-esque fall from fame; he's managed to offend PU every member of his core MA' constituency in about a week. Dropping America's sweetheart and impregnating Jolie, who's destined to save a few orphans with him before promptly getting bored or drinking his blood, might end up being Pitt's worst career move, unless he attempts awesome Irish stereo- types (see "The Devil's Own"). Other divorce announcements came from Oscar-winner Hilary Swank and diminutive husband and "actor," Chad Lowe. A long string of Lifetime-worthy films for Lowe coupled with Swank's rising fame may have placed too great a stress upon the relationship. Another possible factor? Lowe's realization that he had married a man. With Swank no longer paying the bills, Lowe may need to turn to the sim- plest way for a jilted ex to gain revenge and make a quick buck: release a sex tape. Fortunately, there doesn't seem to be any indication of one coming out, but one involving Colin Farrell is a different story. Long rumored to exist, the recording of pre-beer gut Farrell and Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain was uploaded on DirtyColin.com this week. After a legal injunction, the site prematurely went down (in a perverted life-imitating-art situation). And what do these sex tapes lead to besides a little notoriety and the adula- tion of teenage boys everywhere? Babies! And in Juvenile's case, a little baby mama drama too. A "trick-ass ho," as he would affectionately call her, had the New Orleans rapper arrested because he JT IT neglected to pay his child support. With masterpieces like "Slow Motion" (sample lyric: "If you going through your cycle / I ain't with it, I'm gone"), Juvenile faces the possibility of jail time and is likely already beginning to regret ever writ- ing every dance chaperone's nightmare, "Back That Azz Up." Fellow blonde Lindsay Lohan made a name for her- self in 2005, and she's car- ried over into the new year, likely breaking some of her resolutions already. First there was her appearance on "The Tonight Show," during which she jumped up at the end of Juelz Santana's set and did her best imitation NIT of that freshman girl a little TOO too desperate for a attention at a frat party. Then there was the Vanity Fair article in which she admitted to having an eating disorder and dabbling in a few drugs, but was on the road to recovery (of her breasts, mainly). Nothing too special here. Except, of course, that Lohan recounted her interview. Vanity Fair has stood by the story, claiming everything Lohan said is on tape. The best was saved for this past week when notorious media blog Gawker.com reported that Lohan went into a New York nightclub's bathroom and scrawled "Scar- lett (Johansson) is a bloody cunt" with a signed "L" to boot. The night didn't end there though. The New York Post's Page Six recount- ed witness' stories of Lohan and model martyr Kate Moss climbing on stage at New York's premier strip club, Scores, dancing (clothed, sadly) and caressing each other. Surprisingly, the skeletal duo managed to avoid mistaking each other for stripper poles. Not in attendance was Scores fixture and former Zairian super- star, Dikembe Mutombo, who didn't get to use the legendary "Who wants to sex Mutombo" pickup line he called upon during his days at Georgetown. Lohan out of her gourd. Swank single. Juve takin' care of his various wifeys. And Mutombo, thank god for Mutombo. Let's hope this 2006 thing can stick around for a while. - Any simnilar urges to share gossip can be indulged at mattoop@umich.edu. 01 By Imran Syed Daily Arts Writer The best stories in life are true. And "Glory Road," a minimally enhanced depiction of one of the greatest sports stories of all time, is certainly among the best Glory Road portrayals to hit the screen in months. Released in a time when At the Showcase the specter of discrimination and Quality 16 - racial or otherwise - still Disney looms, the film is a stark portray- al of one team's improbable triumph and a poignant reminder of the way illogical, bigoted norms appear once-removed from a blurring context. Essentially, "Glory Road" follows Don Haskins (Josh Lucas, "Stealth"), a basketball coach who, when given the chance to move up from high school to Divi- sion I, moves with his family to El Paso to coach the little-known Texas Western University Miners. Like most pioneers, Coach Haskins doesn't think he is one - he just wants to win games. Working on a low budget, he finds himself losing out on all the big recruits. But on one scouting trip, he comes across a smooth-handling guard named Bobby Joe Hill from Detroit and offers him a scholarship. The year is 1965, Bobby Joe Hill is black and such a thing just can't happen. Fighting back pressure from fellow coaches, fans and even university officials, Coach Haskins recruits several more black players - not just to sit them on the bench as "token negroes," but to actually play with them and win. With Haskins's guidance, his '66 team comes together against impossible odds to have a 27- 1 season, capped off by the most important game in basketball - the NCAA championship - against the powerhouse Kentucky Wildcats. "Glory Road" is much more than the stock underdog story Disney releases approximately I1 times a year. It handles its social relevance adeptly, and doesn't get caught in the slapstick that weighs down many such films. Though not perfect, the pace is solid, especially in the early scenes. In an effort to give the audience a quick overview of Coach Haskins's life, too much is squeezed into the first 10 minutes, making the narrative feel rushed. But just as the audience settles in, so does the film, and it goes on to tell its exceptional story in a compelling, yet suitably somber manner. Lucas, trashed for his performance in last summer's megaflop "Stealth," is great as the relentless and naively righteous Coach Haskins. He has mastered the coach's mannerisms and delivers the most natural performance of his career. His players are also remarkably convinc- ing in their looks and styles. Unexpectedly, Disney has created an environment that authentically captures the civil rights era, and successfully evokes the issues its characters live with on a daily basis. There are people who will see "Glory Road" and walk out disappointed because, to them, it's just a rehash of the same old underdog story. But the film is so much more than that. It brazenly stirs up the most controversial issues in America, asking us to ponder our most basic assumptions about the social order. It was once unheard of for a black man to play college basketball. Today, we still have country clubs that pro- hibit women and laws that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. "Glory Road" is astonishing because it challenges us to remember that the pursuit of a better society is not merely an antiquated fight embalmed in celluloid triumph tales, but an ongoing battle. I 'Holiday' full of easy fun By David Eicke Daily Arts Writer There's nothing like a good death comedy to raise the spirits. Queen Latifah's latest airy vehicle "Last Holiday" capitalizes on a clas- Sincere animal film moves past cliches By Michelle Zellers For the Daily Warner Brothers funneled countless millions into adver- tising for "Kangaroo Jack" and "Racing Stripes," insipid kid-animal movies complete with the voices of stars like Mandy Moore and Frankie Muniz. Given their history, it's unfortunate that they are reluctant to pay similar attention to "Duma," a more serious and intelligent family film that has been latent on their shelves since April. "Duma" traces the adventures of a South African boy who must travel hundreds of miles to release his pet cheetah Courtesy of Paramount Oprah finally spirals into a torrid love affair with Dr. Phil and Betty Crocker. sic "What if?" plot to create a sense of jubilance in the face of an otherwise-grim situation. Though Latifah has trou- Last Holiday At the Showcase and Quality 16 Paramount ble selling her usually buoyant and impulsive persona as the reserved play- it-safer, what really makes the film work is the secondary cast. The movie is brimming with charming, nuanced characters who all play small but important roles. Latifah also doesn't convincingly sell her romance with Sean (LL Cool J, "S.W.A.T."), despite his purported ability to "crack a walnut with that ass." Sean's hind parts first catch Geor- gia's (Latifah, "Beauty Shop") eye from across the floor of the department store where they both work. Unfortu- nately, despite mutual attraction, nei- ther party can summon the guts to say anything until one day, as they're final- ly talking, Georgia knocks her head on an open cupboard. A subsequent CAT scan leads to the discovery of a termi- nal disease in Georgia's brain, and the diagnosis? She has three weeks to live. Georgia does what any good lead character in a formulaic Hollywood comedy would do: She decides to start Living with a capital "L." Withdrawing her entire life savings, she embarks on a "last holiday" to the dreamy Hotel Pupp in the Czech Republic. There, her new- found carefree antics inspire everyone from bellboy to congressman. The drama begins when her charisma threatens the political agenda of retail mogul Matthew Kragen (Timothy Hutton, "Kinsey"). This whimsical pattern of winning over all (save the Man) at a large estab- lishment recalls 2004's "The Termi- nal." The two movies share the same essential feel, and perhaps more impor- tantly, both feature a profoundly amus- ing old Indian man named Gupta. Other delightful small characters include a boisterous, warm-hearted chef, a sneaky old concierge, a wide- eyed masseuse and the aforementioned bellboy, whose head of tumultuous hair that recalls Rod Stewart after a night of rough sex with a puma. OK, so maybe that's an exaggeration. Some of its events are much too far- fetched for any sincere enjoyment. After two minutes on a snowboard, Georgia is able to plummet down a black-diamond slope, landing some sweet jumps on the way. Unless you're James Bond, that's probably not going to happen. Small complaints aside, "Last Holi- day" has a joyfulness that just makes the audience feel good. Yes, it's a bit corny in spots. Yes, it suffers from chronic predictability. But its cast and story are as inspiring as "The Termi- nal," not to mention previous movies utilizing Latifah's affable comic talents like "Bringing Down the House," with the same message. Live. Dance. Have a good time. into the wild, lest the animal be placed in captivity. Absent teen-idol appear- ances, animated stints and the typical kid jokes, Warner Bros. execs have been uncertain of Duma's ability to garner an audience. But there's reason to have faith in this one: Director Car- roll Ballard ("The Black Stallion," "Fly, proven his ability to capture elegantly and unsentimentally the fragile relationships between humans and the natural world. The simple, colorful shots of people and wildlife in Africa show his latest film is no exception. When young Xan (newcomer Alexander Michaletos) dis- covers an abandoned cheetah cub alongside a road, he and his father, Peter (Campbell Scott, "The Exorcism of Emily Rose"), decide to adopt the animal as a pet on the family ranch. But as Duma (the Swahili word for cheetah) matures, Peter warns that the animal must soon be released before he becomes too old to readjust to the wild. Peter's sudden illness and death make the northward trip to release Duma impossible, so the family drags the cheetah to a Johannesburg apartment as Xan's moth- er searches for work in the city. Duma's escape from the apartment and surprise appear- ance at Xan's school nearly lands the cheetah in captivity and convinces Xan he must complete his father's plans to return him to the wild. He embarks with few supplies and no permis- sion on a motorcycle trip hundreds of miles northward into the heart of Africa, his cheetah riding happily in the sidecar. Duma At the Michigan Theater Warner Bros. Away Home") has Courtesy of Warner Bros. Best cat movie since "The Ghost and the Darkness." Xan's survival along the perilous path is due partly to his encounter with another wanderer (Eamonn Walker, "Tears of the Sun"). The boy, cheetah and adult nomad form an unlikely trio who combine their skills to navigate the wil- derness. Each member mounts obstacles to return to his natural habitat, and along the way, the group learns mutual lessons about loss, home and family. "Duma" is more moving than other recent kid-empow- erment movies, such as "A Series of Unfortunate Events," which tend to portray children outwitting villainous adults with absurd, fantastic solutions to their problems. The situa- tions Xan encounters in "Duma" may be equally far fetched, but the themes resonate more genuinely. Strong performances, rich scenery and a thoughtful plot help make "Duma" an enjoyable experience for both child and adult viewers. Though at points it falls into the familiar look-at-the-cute-animal movie, it was clearly made with the same care and craftsmanship filmmakers usually invest in films for older audiences. As a sincere, no-gimmick picture without big-name stars, "Duma's" nationwide release is still in question. But should it make its way into more theaters, "Duma" has the potential to become a new, enduring family classic, respecting the intel- ligence and emotion of children rather than placating them with colorful explosions and crude jokes. A ~ I-. Headaches? Michigan Head*Pain & Neurological Institute is conducting an in-clinic research study evaluating an investigational medication for migraine. Participants must be 18 to 65 years old and suffer 2 to 6 headaches per month. A total of three clinic visits are required. Visit 2 is a four- to five-hour treatment BREAKH PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA ENTERAINMENT &SPONSORS Genera! Motors CobaltlHHR Promotion Beanch Volleyball Tournament fAM= I I .~Ime~Ae~ ~ ~ ~ I