Thursday January 12, 2006 arts. michigandaily.com artspage@michigandaily.com RTe Michigan Sil 8A FuNKY Fouu + 1 FIVE TOP PIECES OF POP CULTURE COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAILY ARTS EDITORS Marcus Vick - Getting underage girls drunk, elbowing an opposing coach in the back of the head, flipping the bird to the West Virginia crowd, getting caught with weed, driving with a suspended license and stomping an opposing player's knee. Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, the former Vir- ginia Tech quarterback, took his transgressions to a new level: He started waving his gun at a group of teens in a McDonald's parking lot because they made fun of him. Look for him to follow up his illustrious college career with a string of Court TV appearances. Please don't kill us, Marcus. Anne Hathaway - Shit, the girl from "The Princess Diaries" becomes 4 hard-drinking cowgirl who jumps Jake Gyllenhaal's bones? She's helped pave the way for every young, innocent actress to shed her saccharine image by dropping their shirts and given guys a viable reason to watch "Brokeback Mountain" when their dumbass friends make fun of them. "Tristan and Isolde" trailer - OK, so how many people have loved you before? You're essentially piggy-backing on layers of Persian, Gaelic and Anglo-Saxon legends of star-crossed lovers. You're banking on James Franco and an Evanescence jam to anchor your trailer? I'll tell you how many people are going to love you now: only one. Your fucking mother. 0 Courtesy of NBC "Can you give this back to your mom the next time you go home?" 2f West End Grill - With no real hype (cough ... Chop House), the West End Grill has become the most consis- tently satisfying restaurant in Ann Arbor. The warm, austere interior is a quiet presentation that hides a selection of Ameri- can food that's always innovative without becoming forced.6 cough ... MUST-NOT- SEE 'FOUR KINGS' ANYTHING BUT ROYAL TV By Imran Syed Daily Arts Writer I Cam'ron's Scooby Snacks: The Kila Cam Tape - Found through online mix-tape vendors or, of course, Canal Street and Span- ish Harlem, this beast of a mix-tape culls most of Killa Cam's nonsen- sical, giddy freestyles and album verses into a disc whose 67 (!) songs shows that Cam actu- ally does, in his own words, "run this circus like ring-a-ling." As Conan O'Brien often likes to point out in his own, off-the-wall sort of way, "NBC is in the gutter." Once the source of the best ____________ comedies on television - espe- Four Kings cially on Thursday nights with now-classic series such Thursdays at as "Cheers," "Seinfeld" and 8:30 p.m. "Friends" - the network has NBC been reduced to contrived, for- mulaic and downright lame attempts at recapturing the comedy crown. With its new Thursday-night lineup, anchored by the generally well received "My Name is Earl" and "The Office," the network hoped to once again become "Must-See TV" on Thursday nights. But its latest addition to the Thursday lineup, the forced yet feeble "Four Kings," will get no new eyes for the ratings-starved network. If by some far-off chance you haven't caught one of the 514 promotional spots NBC has run the past few weeks, "Four Kings" follows four childhood friends who become, well, grown-up friends. If the show is to be believed, they order drinks at the same coffee house at the same exact table about every 10 minutes. Eventually, one of their grandmothers dies, leaving them a house in Manhattan and they decide to move in together.. Amateurish fat jokes, underwear humor and stock relationship problems ensue. Imagine every post-collegiate stereotype. Then suck the anxious humor and stalled emo- tional development and put in some dated jokes and insults. You're getting warmer. The "Kings" themselves consist of Barry (Seth Green, "The Italian Job"), Ben (Josh Cooke, star of another NBC failure "Committed"), Jason (Todd Grin- nell, "The Dangling Conversation") and Bobby (Shane McRae, "All Over Again"). Their collective experience amounts to little. For all their comedic grace and chem- istry, the characters might as well be four random guys pulled off the street. At first glance, "Four Kings" is very similar to "Friends," but oddly enough, that's the problem. In a way, "Friends" was the beginning of the end for NBC. While that show certainly had a large fanbase, its gen- eral formula, which has been copied several times, is rather weak: A gathering of inane archetypes perform the same, stupefying routine every episode. What sold "Friends" was not especially strong storylines or writ- ing, but the characters and their delivery. Unfortunate- ly, "Four Kings" only inherits the prototypical setup of "Friends" and recycles jokes that carry no weight when coupled with the show's poorly conceived characters and everyday delivery. This is abysmally bad stuff, ramshackle dialogue and shallow settings abound. It's funny that almost half a decade ago pundits predicted the death of the sitcom, and even today the parade of reheated scripts marches on. But still, shows like "Four Kings" are brought to life like zombies, plodding around with their blatant deficiencies nakedly visible to studio executives and fans alike. Courtesy of 20th Century Fox EE New, sorrowful LP AWE'RE NOT FRENC EIER. MY SUBS JUST TAir LM TtEETfER, THlAT'S ALL! I WANTED TO ja vv* "VO"l-TOL . .. s rock and'sbest By Derek Barber Daily Arts Writer The San Diego instrumental out- fit Tristeza, which translates into "sadness" for the readers who opted out of high school Spanish, has been Tristeza releasing minia- ture, psychedelic A Colores masterpieces for Better Looking the past seven years. The contributions of ex-band member James Lavelle and remixes by techno-mastermind Jimmy Tam- borello may account for much of their early success. But even with the popularity of their debut, 1999's Spine & Sensory, and the long string of tour EPs that followed, Tristeza had yet to fully capitalize on their distinct, guitar-based sound. However, on A Colores, Tristeza may have finally found their voice. Avoiding the previous pitfall of try- ing to capture too many emotions within just one album, the record reveals a mood that's continuous without ever becoming mundane: 12 songs with 12 different shades of sadness. Shedding the bright and cheerful feelings of past records, each instru- mental is set in a minor key. Instead of the usual chiming and lightheart- ed guitar lines, the dueling guitars of Christopher Sprague and Alison Ables create a wonderfully dark call and response on tracks like "Stum- ble On Air." As the six strings weave in an out of each other, they design an intricate patchwork for the steady drumming of Jimmy Lehner. Even Mogwai couldn't make minor arpeg- gios sound this good. Although the conversing guitars often take a customary role as the foundation for each song, the rever- sal of this role yields many excit- ing possibilities. On "Bromas," the swirling keyboards provided by new member Sean Ogilvie give the song's intro a touch of the surreal. Even a listener who doesn't know bass clef from treble could easily recognize the frequent and provoca- tive use of odd-time signatures. Lis- teners will have a hard time tapping their foot along with the twisting rhythm and syncopation of "La Tier- ra Sutil." The use of repeated Latin rhythms give a strange sense of unity to the album, not only in theme but also in rhythm and time. If there already wasn't enough evidence that Tristeza has moved away from their earlier, overarch- ing works, "Abrazo Distante" dis- pels any lingering doubts. The title translates to "Embracing Distance," which may be a loose reference to "A Little Distance," the standout track on Spine & Sensory. The cascading keyboard line sig- nifies a movement into this new- found maturity. Each moment of sadness on the record reveals that Tristeza has done exactly that: They've embraced their own unique voice, rooted in the melancholy. In the skilled hands of such an innova- tive group, sorrow has rarely sound- ed so sweet. may l:}v $