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could have been charged with a mis-
demeanor for failure to uphold the
state's tight liquor laws, but she's
probably not alone in granting occa-
sional mercy toward inebriated stu-
dents. DPS officers say that they do
not take pleasure in giving out MIPs,
and don't go out on "party patrol."
That's the city's job.

TNIT OWN WORDS
Underage drinking
Bartending, where dressing
up is part of the job
By Lindsay Bartdein

Town and gown

APD officers resemble
DPS officers in a number
of ways. They wear similar
uniforms. They both drive
white Crown Victorias. They both
carry Sig Sauer guns.
But they enforce different laws in
different places.
DPS jurisdiction doesn't end
at the sidewalk of the adja-
cent street. All streets and
sidewalks are automatical-
ly controlled - by city police,
but those directly adjacent to
University property are sub-
ject to joint-jurisdiction. In
other words, if you get caught
smoking marijuana on the side-
walk, the department of the
cop that catches you will
determine whether you get a slap on
the wrist or a misdemeanor charge.
Contrary to popular belief, DPS
never breaks up house parties,
including fraternities and sororities,
which are technically off-campus.
Because of this, each year AAPD is
responsible for hundreds more liquor
arrests and citations than DPS is.
At times, despite the dif-
ferent jurisdiction and sepa-
rate laws, AAPD and DPS work
together, and they work well accord-
ing to AAPD sergeant Richard Kin-
sey.
"We've always been there
for each other," Kinsey said.
He said the two departments
complement each other and
often call on the other for aid,
although Kinsey was quick to
add "They're a proud department.
They don't ask for much."
In addition to working with
AAPD, DPS has collaborated
on a number of cases with the
local FBI agency. FBI Special Agent
Greg Stejskal named several cases in
which he either asked or was asked
by DPS for help, ranging from Inter-
net snuff porn to a stolen meteorite
to the Unabomber.
DPS director Bill Bess, said being
a University police officer was as
desirable a job as being a city officer
or federal agent.
"They're not wannabe police
officers," Bess said. "They're
here because they want to be
University police officers."
Challenges
The University-wide budget
cuts in recent years have
affected almost all depart-
ments, and although the Uni-
versity was relatively generous with
DPS, it still had to drop a few of its
programs.
According to Bess, the program
that will be most sorely missed is
the student employment program.
The students were responsible for
taking care of calls that normal DPS
officers don't have time for while

nyone for a red-headed
slut?"
Immediately I look up.
Is this person talking about
me? Should I be insulted?
Should I counter attack with
my quick wit and say some-
thing demeaning about his
double-popped collars or that
he's trying to pull off three
variations of the color pink?
You see, my hair is arguably
red (the argument being that
my hair has reddish hues, but
that I will deny this fact to the
bitter end, or at least quickly
change the subject). But I am
by no means a slut.
Instantly, it all becomes clear
- the claws retract. This typi-
cal college frat guy isn't talking
about me; he's referring to a
colorful blend of Jaegermeister,
peach Schnapps and cranberry
juice. Shaker in hand, I easily
mix the concoction.
I absolutely love my job work-
ing at one of the most notable
bars on campus. Though I will
not be able to actually drink at
a bar for another 15 months,
I love being part of the atmo-
sphere. Bartending is the perfect
job for me because it's okay to
be loud and laugh a lot; or, my
personal favorite - laughing
loudly (yeah, I'll admit it, my
cackle has been recognized and
ridiculed at distances of up to
three blocks). At the bar, I have
even been able to conquer one of
my biggest fears: dressing up in
costume.
Ever since I can remember,
I have always been anxious on
days when costume attire was
required. This fear extended to
pep-rallies, pajama days and the
biggest day of illusion, Hallow-
een. I was always afraid to be
the only one dressed up. This
year, I found myself working on
Halloween, so to be somewhat
festive, I tentatively dressed up
as a football player. I chose a
costume that was relatively safe
because I didn't know whether or
not the other bartenders would
be dressed up. It was much to
my relief and enjoyment when I
walked into the bar and saw one
of my co-workers in a life-size
Scooby Doo costume (I'm sure
the paws made it hard to pour
drinks) and another dressed as
a baby, complete with bib and
diaper. With a jar of chocolate at
my disposal, this was by far my
favorite Halloween experience
to date.
Usually the customers at the

bar seem so eager to meet peo-
ple. I am an easy target not only
because I am enclosed behind
a bartop, but I have been told
that I "have one of those faces."
That's right, I probably look just
like your best friend from back
home or your next-door neigh-
bor. I am used to this. But it
.startled me when one, obviously
intoxicated, girl emphatically
called me her "sister." I do have
a sister, but this was definitely
not her. In fact, I had never
seen this person in my life. Yet
she kept insisting - and even
mentioned our parents getting
married. I was understandably
confused until it turned out that
this girl, who just took a tequila
shot, was right in a sense. My
dad and her mom actually are
dating, but I was not expecting

our introductions to take place
on opposite sides of a bar.
Anyway, you can find me mix-
ing drinks and providing casual
conversation, or on busy nights a
quick nod or tired smile, behind
the bar at one of Ann Arbor's
hot spots. I work every Wednes-
day and Friday nights.
Oh, and if you're impressed
with my work, don't offer to buy
me a shot - I won't be able to
take it for two years (I'm 19 but
you only have to be 18 to bar-
tend.) Also, because I'm not
even old enough to go to the bar,
I'm probably not old enough to
marry any of you fine bachelors
out there. The proposals seem
really heartfelt, but don't be dis-
appointed when I respectfully
decline. However, tips are much
appreciated.

Bartlein lines up shot glasses, a regular occurrenc



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8B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, February 2, 2006

The Michigan DE