AM AM
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RoOM STUDENT ITRVIEW
3B The Daily Dish
John Klausmeyer discusses
the future and excitement
of the Exhibit Museum
of Natural History.
4B A Structure's Soul
Austin Dingwall describes the
beauty of steel beams, blue
tarp and construction sites.
4B The List
A guide to the happenings,
concerts and events around
town this weekend.
From The Editors
This
zine is
week's
the first
maga-
under
Random more afraid of mayor thar
By Chris Gacrig /A
10B Fashion Column
Fana Jabbar uncovers
students' fashion
blunders.
11B Random Student Interview
The Random thinks white
people are boring, wants a third
arm and knows everyone
wants to sex Mutorbo.
the direction of its new
editor class, James V.
Dowd and Chris Gaerig.
Our
nation
unique combi-
of editors - a
sportswriter/columnist
and an arts writer -
brings unique perspec-
tives on the different
issues and events cov-
ered in The Statement.
12B Dining Tradition
Emilye Bangham on
behind Ann Arbor's
Fleetwood Diner.
the history
5B In My Own Words
Lindsay Bartlein on the
everchanging world cleg o edig
6B DPS: Past and Present
An in-depth look atthe
status o the University's
Department of Public Safety
loB Food Column
Melissa Carmel makes sure
students know where to
eat this Va ent n's Day.
This week's cover
story consists of news editor Anne VanderMey's
investigation into the University's Department
of Public Safety. DPS was created for the pro-
tection of students, but has always been seen
as a threat to students.
The magazine also includes a profile of Fleet-
wood Diner waitress Emilye Bangham, whose
worldly experiences and. attitudes give the
Fleetwood its one-of-a-kind reputation. Bang-
ham is looking to not only serve the community
the legendary food but enrich Ann Arbor with a
new group for artisans.
We also have the interesting insights into the
life of a campus bartender in this week's ver-
sion of "In My Own Words" - a weekly staple
that we instituted several weeks ago and have
been very pleased with.
In the words of the great former editor Doug
Wernert: Thanks for reading.
James V. Dowd, Managing Magazine Editor
Chris Gaerig, Associate Magazine Editor
Jlaudom: Hello?
The Michigan Daily: Is Andrew
there?
R: Yeah, this is Andrew.
TMD: I have great news, you've
been selected to do the Random Stu-
dent Interview. Do you have a few
minutes?
R: Uh, yeah sure.
TMD: So we asked this ques-
tion last week but didn't get a good
answer. Do white people bore you?
R: Yeah, totally. They're lacking
in color and they're white.
TMD: Is it their haircuts?
R: It might be.
TMD: How about their music?
They like acid jazz. Are you white?
Do you like acid jazz?
R: Yeah, I'm white but no I don't.
TMD: Who's going to win the
Super Bowl?
R: I don't even know who's playing
because I am that much of a douche.
No wait I do know this, it's the Steel-
ers and the ...
TMD: The Seahawks. Do you
know who Jerome Bettis is?
R: No.
TMD: He plays for the Steelers
and is from Detroit. Do you think
Kwame will fix the Super Bowl so
Jerome can get a ring?
R: Yes. He's going to do it with
magic.
TMD: Kwame does magic?
R: Didn't he always?
TMD: Do you think he's going to
demand a ring if they win?
R: I think he's going to demand
one for every finger.
TMD: The Super Bowl is going
to make prostitutes come to Detroit.
How many do you think are here
now?
R: Already? In addition to the ones
already here? I've counted 17 and
when there's 17 prostitutes there are
about 40,000 others.
TMD: Do you think they take a
team bus to get here with their logo
on the side and 40-inch spinners?
R: I don't think they have a union
or anything but I am pretty sure they
found a bus with spinners.
TMD: Who wants to sex Mutom-
bo?
R: Doesn't everyone?
TMD: That's what I thought.
Who's your favorite Statement col-
umnist? What about our food colum-
nist? How about Cosi?
R: I like food. But I've never been
to Cosi.
TMD: Would you assume that it's
a four-star restaurant?
R: From the decoration, yes. It's
very "we're imitating a four-star res-
taurant."
TMD: Then do you think it actual
is a four-star restaurant?
R: I believe it is not because it's
trying to be one. I would rate it about
two stars with an asterisk saying I
had never been there.
TMD: What "Simpsons" character
would you want to make out with? I
would say Apu.
R: I would say Gil.
TMD: What would you rather
have, a third eye or a third arm? And
where would it be?
R: A third arm. It would probably
be under my left arm.
TMD: Would you rather have your
mom walk in on you masturbating or
walk in on your mom masturbating?
R: I would have to say the first
one.
TMD: Well I would've gone with
the second. If you could make up a
state motto what would it be?
R: Florida: The flaccid penis of
America.
TMD: What song would be your
life's soundtrack?
R: "Big Pimpin'"
TMD: Nice. Jay-Z. Mine is "What
it Do" by David Banner.
R: Never heard of him. Sorry, I'm
just not that cool. I feel bad that you
called me.
TMD: Really? Ever heard of Mis-
sissippi?
R: The state?
TMD: Yeah, the state. He pretty
much runs it. Do you like screwed
and chopped music?
R: I don't know what that is.
TMD: See this is what I'm talking
about when I say white people's music
bores us. What do you listen to?
R: I guess I listen to the other
type of boring white-people music. I
wouldn't say indie but I wouldn't say
interesting.
TMD: You're one of those kids.
Well screwed and chopped is when
they slow music down and make
it sound awesome. What albums
might you want to hear screwed and
chopped?
R: I suppose the point would be to
slow down something really fast.
TMD: Not really, no.
R: Um, slow down like an Iron and
Wine album and then it would just like
stop. They're too slow already.
TMD: They are too slow aren't
they? Do you like Iron and Wine? That
l
Magazine Editor: James V. Dowd
Associate Magazine Editor: Chris Gaerig
Cover Art: Shubra Ohri and Peter Schottenfels
Photo Editor: Shubra Ohri
Designer: William Couch
Editor in Chief: Donn M. Fresard
Managing Editor: Ashley Dinges
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A Celebration
Albright, Bassett, Bolcom,
of UM Composers
Chambers, Daugherty, & Wilson
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The Michigan Daily -
2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, February 2, 2006