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TIE - AILY DISH

Interview with a vamp

Everyone's a Critic

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Media Column
By Kristin MacDonald

Regent sells pizzas and h1
David Brandon, CEO of Domino's Pizza anc
By Jameel

t wouldn't be a week of celebrity news
without the ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan.
. The poor starlet most recently made the
gossip pages in a bid to refute her recent cover
stry for Vanity Fair, an interview in which she
purpertedly alluded to drug use and bulimia.
Lohan's publicity camp responded by denying
the supposed confessions, although, notably,
only the bulimia part - it seems that having an
eating disorder is more detrimental to her public
image than coping to club-scene substance use.
Lindsay need not worry; in fact. it rather
works in her favor to have a controversial inter-
view, as such a thing has recently become a rare
find in the Hollywood sector of the entertain-
ment industry. Athlete interviews are their own
category - Sports Illustrated doesn't routinely
profile its celebrity athletes as the all-around
nice guys those touching NFL United Way com-
mercials attempt to sell them as. Take Jeremy
Roenick, the center for the Los Angeles Kings,
whom SI's Nov. 14th issue happily paints as ego-
tistical, attention-hungry, gambling-crazy and
ultimately likable.
Good luck finding such three-dimensionality
in the annals of your local grocery store check-
out line. Anyone familiar with women's maga-
zines or any form of journalism below People
magazine will be no stranger to the following

profile of atyoung actress:
"(The film's director) flew to meet her in
a hotel bar ... and there she was - just this
scruffy-looking girl...He liked the way she says
what she thinks, not what she thinks the director
would want to hear. 'She's so smart and quick-,
witted.' And he liked the fact that she seems 'so
normal. She really is the girl next door: he says.
'Who happens to be extraordinarily beautiful.'
Taken verbatim from December's Vggue, the
"she" of this quote could be Natalie Portman,
Keira Knightley, Scarlett Johansson, Kirsten
Dunst ... hell, even Lindsay Lohan. Whichever
starlet currently headlines the latest movie or TV
show not only pops up on the cover of count-
less magazines but also inevitably receives the
same, formula industry write-up. She is depicted
as a modest, stylish, sweet (and naturally, stun-
ning) girl next door, as equally enamored of her
own storybook success as any of the magazine's
dreamy schoolgirl audience.
How insulting. To the starlet.
Have actresses always been hocked about like
bland carbon copies? Or is it simply the strategy
of the modern publicist?
In the keynote speech of this year's Hopwood
ceremony, acclaimed New Yorker magazine
writer Susan Orlean commented on her early
career profiling celebrities. On one occasion,

she had felt herself honored when Tom Hanks "big eater" f
seemed to personally confide in her that he found steamed veg
himself unattractive. She had even considered it Rule #3:
a mark of friendship until, after regrouping with glamorousl
fellow reporters, she learned he tends to "admit" puts her in t
so much to almost all his interviewers, accordingly
It should come as no surprise that celebrity ments of her
actors construct and present specific packaged shockingly f
personas. Fashion mags and gossip rags will Zen about h
never, of course, be mistaken with high journal- With eve
ism, but they shouldn't simply serve as a means from her pee
of delivering industry marketing to the main- a reader ever
stream public. Besides, it is advantageous in the Keira her
movie game to market an actor's image as sin- her stereoty
gular, contrary to the noticeably formulaic spin interviewerc
young female performers generally receive. 'Oh - weN
Most of these interviews hardly even require have all then
the actress. That same previously mentioned what they en
December Vogue piece, actually written about can it be?"
Keira Knightley, conforms almost completely to Keira's ri
the standard starlet interview: - whetheri
Rule #1: She is always stylish, but never cou- or a week o
ture (Keira prefers vintage, her style is "grungy "real" celeb.
and scruffy" touts an "amaaaaazing" Fendi bag the attemptv
- yep, five a's - as a free gift). article that i
Rule #2: She will invariably have her lunch sional than i
selection documented and raved about (Keira,
for instance, orders fish and mashed potatoes,
though reporters have been known to praise a
Ruling bPeer pong
s? jCampus Life Column
By Mark Giannotto

for so much as an egg-white omelet,
getables and whole-wheat toast).
She will laugh off or underplay the
Hollywood nightlife which often
he tabloids (Ms. Knightley's profile
features the typically lavish com-
latest director, praising her as "quite
focused" and with "something quite
er").
ry starlet presented as so different
ers in the exact same way, how could
r take such a remark seriously?
self has the good sense to recognize
ped presentation, even if her Vogue
doesn't: "They come to you saying,
want the real Keira!' But then they
se amazing clothes ... and of course
nd up with is not the real you - how
ght. In a way, no magazine interview
it consists of a lunch or a film shoot
f being followed - can ever be the
But kudos to Vanity Fair for making
with Ms. Lohan, offering for once an
s at least a little more three-dimen-
ts pretty accompanying pictures.
Kristin can be reached by e-mail at
kmacd@umich.edu

a' vid Brandon, CEO and chair-
an of Domino's Pizza, is run-
ning for re-election as University
regent, , position he has held since 1998.
The Republican regent was the 'object of
intense speculation last year, when he
considered and ultimately decided against
running first for Michigan governor, then
for Debbie Stabenow's (D-Mich.) seat in
the U.S. Senate. Brandon is a frequent
contributor to Republican campaigns
in the state and recently took the helm
of GOP gubernatorial nominee Dick
DeVos's election campaign. He also
serves as co-chair of the Champions
for Children campaign to fundraise
for recovations to the C.S. Mott Chil-
dren's Hospital. Brandon received his
B.A. and teaching certificate from
the University in 1974.
The Michigan Daily: Domino's
is the world leader in pizza delivery.
Right now it's number two globally,
in terms of overall sales. How does
it become the. global leader in pizza,
period?
David Brandon: We're growing
almost at a rate of a new store a day. This
week I'll be in Chicago clipping the rib-
bon on the opening of our 8,000th store
worldwide. Our goal long-range is to get
that to 10,000 and beyond.
TMD: How did you become involved
with the Champions for Children cam-
paign?
DB: Mott absolutely saved one of
my son's life, and my other son was
not in good shape. I was contacted by
the people of the hospital, who knew
that I had an interest and a personal
connection and asked me if Jan and I

would be willing to serve with Lloyd
and Laurie Carr as the co-chairs of this.
I thought about it for about one second
and said "absolutely." The bottom line
is that this hospital serves this region,
and this is all about the children and
families of this region and having a
resource that for the next 50 years can
be as important as it has been over the
previous 50 years.
TMD: How successful has that cam-
paign been?
DB: Our goal is $50 million. We're
only in the first couple years of a six-
year, seven-year campaign, and we're at
$46 million.
TMD: What are the major issues, as
you see (them), facing the University
right now?
DB: The major issues are clearly
economic. When you start talking
about multi-billion-dollar budgets, a
2- or 3- or 4- or 5-percent inflation
rate a year becomes a big number.
You've got to figure out ways to offset
those inflationary costs with real rev-
enue streams. One of things that we're
really fighting is that these huge build-
ings that we keep building require a
lot of energy to keep them and to cool
them, and that energy is becoming
incredibly expensive, way outpacing
the normal rate of inflation.
TMD: How can the University raise
(the) revenue that it needs without shut-
ting the door to qualified students or to
less-privileged students?
DB: We're constantly thinking about
those students that can't pay that price
tag and how we have to make sure as
we continue to increase that price how

we can better support those students in
hopes that we do not ever create a cir-
cumstance where this place is only for
people who have substantial need. The
in-state tuition cost to get a degree from
the University of Michigan is one of the
greatest values in higher education in the
country,
TMD: Is higher education being
given a high enough priority in the state,
given the economic troubles?
DB: No, I don't think it is. I think
the current governor came in and pub-
licly said that universities' budgets were
fat, and she had a view that the univer-
sity budgets had a lot of extra dollars in
them. If in fact one of the greatest eco-
nomic engines of opportunities we have
are institutions of higher education, why
aren't we investing in them?
TMD: The addition of the phrase
"gender identity and expression" to the
nondiscrimination clause of the Uni-
versity's bylaws has been a major issue
with the LGBT community on campus.
The University has argued that these
identities are encompassed in the word
"sex." Why not just add the phrase?
DB: I would favor a statement that
says the University will not discriminate
against anybody. I don't understand why
we continually have to have discussions
about who should and who shouldn't be
included, in terms of our nondiscrimina-
tion policy, because I think identifying
specific special-interest groups or spe-
cific entities within the institution almost
implies that unless you're on that list,
then somehow we think you should be
treated differently than people who are
on that list. It should not be about lists.


You now hat Really Grinds My Gear


i


o doesn't like a good game of beer pong?
It's one of those activities that can be
appreciated by all college students. It's one
of the few realms of partying that everyone can
appreciate.
Whether you are Greek or not, girl or guy,
white or black - you can all play beer pong. But
for being a universal sport (yes, sport), you would
think there would be a set of universal rules for
the game. I mean everywhere you turn someone
has a new list of rules for this great past time.
I was at a house party of a friend, where my
partner and I were dominating. We were on one
of those rolls where you hardly have to even look
at the cups to make a shot. We were playing your
traditional 10-cup beer pong that seems to be the
tried and true way of playing.
We were down to our last cup, and my turn
came. Not to be vain, but I'd like to think of
myself as a clutch player. I sunk that last cup. My
partner yelled in triumph and I just soaked it in.
The sensation felt after making that last cup is
something difficult to describe.
But then we arrived at the uncomfortable
situation that is the rebuttal. The way we play at
my fraternity house is that you play the rebut-
tal like a normal turn. So, if each player makes
their shot, they get to shoot again. That shoot-
until-you-miss rule is total garbage. Why should
you get to shoot until you miss at the end of the
game?
The guys that we were up against had three

cups remaining. I was pretty confident that they
were not going to make all three. So the first guy
made his shot. I went to remove the cup as we
had been doing the entire game. But then the guy
on the other team shouted to me, "Keep the cup
down, because if we hit it again it counts as three
cups."
I took this statement as complete crap. I yelled
back, "Where did you come up with that rule?"
"House rules:' he said. And in the process, he
pointed to the wall where there were house rules
written down - he wasn't lying.
So the other player stepped up to the table.
He hit the same cup. All of my work throughout
the game was for naught. We had to win it in
overtime. ,
To make a long story short, we lost. That loss
marred what had been a relatively successful
night. I couldn't get the game out of my head. It
just wasn't fair that the rules of beer pong change
on the rebuttal. It's like rewarding a team for
playing poorly.
This game brought me to one conclusion: Just
like any other sport, we must adopt universal
beer pong rules. In a sport like basketball, the
rules are no different in Chicago than they are in
Los Angeles. Universal rules will add integrity
to an already great sport.
Coming up with these rules will not be easy.
There are so many variations out there that it
will be hard to determine which is best.
First, the game will be called beer pong. Bei-

rut is not a sport. Beer pong is a sport. Beirut
sounds like something out of another country.
Beer pong is an American game. In my beer
pong, calling the sport Beirut would qualify as
an automatic forfeit of the game.
Now, we need to determine the amount of
cups used during the game. My fraternity house
plays with 12 cups on each side. I am willing to
compromise. The most predominant formation
is the 10-cup triangle, so that's what we'll use.
Then there is the whole re-rack situation.
When should teams be allowed to consolidate
their cups? I've been to places where they let
you re-rack with six, four, three and two cups
remaining. There will be only one re-rack with
six cups remaining. A deserving winner needs
just one consolidation.
Bring-backs are part of the game as well. If
you and your partner make both of your shots,
then you receive another turn. But, there will be
none of this stuff like if each person makes the
same cup, then it counts as three cups. If you've
ever participated in the beer pong tournament on
Mondays at Touchdown Cafe, that's the type of
trash they try to pull.
Also, the philosophy if you make the same
cup on one turn then the game is over philoso-
phy doesn't hold true in my game. The guiding
principle is if you make two cups, then two cups
should be removed from the table. And there
will also be the "you're an idiot clause." This
means that if you are an idiot and knock one of

your own cups off the table, that cup is officially
done.
There will also be an Equal Rights Amend-
ment. Blowing and bouncing will not be allowed
no matter what sex you happen to be. Nowhere
else in life do we reward mediocrity, so why
should we do so on the pong table?
Then there is the rebuttal process. Those two
guys from the party cheated me of a victory
because of their bogus rebuttal rules. There will
be no shoot until you miss.
Rebuttal will be identical to the regulation
rules. If a team makes both shots, then they get
to shoot again..If they have two cups remaining
and the first person misses their shot, then the
game is over.
Beer pong is like any other sport. A team's
weaknesses are going to be exposed. For
instance, my own. I may be clutch, but I often-
times get off to slow starts. And there are cer-
tain people who are just in my head, and I find it
nearly impossible to beat them.
In my beer pong, the better team will always
win.
I know these rules will not be adopted by
many, but next time you get robbed at the end
of a beer pong game because of some stupid
"house rule" think about how sweet that victory
was supposed to feel like.
Giannotto can be reached by e-mail at
mgiann@umich.edu

EASTRN ICHGANUNiVEP
Comnmoadog the lif of
Dr. Mariin Luther King, Jr.
Friday, Jan. 13
Fifth Annual Color of Drums: Pr
8 p.m. (doors open at 1:30 p.m.),
Saturday, Jan. 14
Hip-Hop Explosion Talent Comp
7:30 p.m., Pease Auditorium
Sunday, Jan. 15
Nothing Said ... A Celebration o
4-6 p.m., Sponberg Theatre, Qu:rkE
Tolstoy to Gandhi to King: The R
7-8 p.m., First Year Cue er, Wise Ha
Alan Page s
' ~Minnesota's fir
African Americ
Supreme Cou

w

juste
0


ogress Through Poetry
Pease Auditorium
etition
of Spirit and Gospel
Building
Road to Justice
ill
rst
can
rt Justice.

Monday, Jan. 1
Step, Look, Listen a
Bringing the Past in
8:30-10 a.m., Mcer n
Concurrent Session
10-11:35 am., McKen
25th Annual Preside
Noon-1:30 p.m., L ake
at Eagle Crest
Keynote Celebration
3 p.m., Pease Auditor
Featuring keynote rerr
CloseUP Theatre Tro
Justice - Speak UF
4:15 p.m., Pease Aud
Candlelight Walk an
5:15 p.m., From Peas
All events are free a
indicated. Please ca
or visit the MLK Day

4

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10B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Michigan Dail,