4D - The Michigan Daily - New Student Edition - Fall 2005 ARTS CITIZEN 'Guide' covers the STEWART WITH NEW BOOK, 'DAILY SHOW' CAST ins and outs of sex By Bernie Nguyen SEPTEMBER 20,2004 Daily Staff Writer SATIRIZES AMERICA By Steve Cotner OCTOBER 22, 2005 Daily Staff Writer The persona of Jon Stewart has become short- hand for a certain irony. His name no longer belongs to one cynical comic, or even to a TV show, but to It would seem that in modern American soci- ety there is a need for an instruction manual for every aspect of life: gardening, sports and even love. The only problem for the average inept reader is finding one that is both accurately written and interesting to read. That's one problem that readers of Paul Joannides's "Guide to Getting It On" will not encounter. Guide to Getting It On By Paul Joannides Goofy Foot Press a lens that can be turned on anything. It was inevitable, given this power, that Stewart would expand beyond nightly fake news and become an ironist of everything. This is what "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction" has achieved, by vir- tue of acting like it hasn't. Its principle technique is to mask the approach, so that the delivery comes like an America the Book: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction Edited by Jon Stewart Warner Books Courtesy of Comedy Central We're not as funny as we used to be ... ha ha ha. ambush, be it a joke or a hard truth. The approach here is a civics textbook, but the reader soon finds a history of prehistoric man, "Marbury's Head v. Madison's Rock," a look into the future, "Robots Everywhere," and a survey of the rest of the world,- "By the time you finish reading this sentence, three million more Chinese people will have been born." The rest of the book is the lesson on democracy it purports to be, but every serious entry is couched within a ruse. The reader only learn the true Pream- ble after reading Jefferson's first attempt: "AMER- ICA. A is for All the tea they taxed, M is for the Minutemen they shellaxed." The United State's worst characteristics are dredged up by flippant humor. It would be a big task to count all the references to slaughtered indigenous peoples. or misguided wars. The book hits easy tar- gets like an inefficient Congress, but it also finds a way to voice real criticisms. In the section about the Middle East, there is an empty outline of the region with an invitation to draw one's own boundaries: "Don't be afraid to group people with no regard for history and ethnicity. It worked for the British and French! Invent new countries and create interesting and fresh conflicts!" The joke succeeds by its open irony, but there is a sense of dread underlying the appeal to American apathy. Elsewhere, the reader finds the corporate terror of media synergy condensed into diagram form, with the Disney illusion busted by "Ever wish upon a star? We own 3,459 actual Y ; r to 3Ps stars. Have one. No, have two." And another kind of terror, the policy enacted at Abu Ghraib, is shown in a pic alongside a Viet Cong execution, child coal workers and a vampire space baby with the tagline, "Which jCclassic example of photojournal- ism most gnaws at your soul?" Throughout the book, irony opens up into something more potent. Outside of the book, too, Stewart is speaking candidly, more as himself than as the persona. In an appearance on CNN "Crossfire" with conser- vative Tucker Carlson, the two reached an impasse that Stewart would not salvage with comedy: "I'm not going to be your mon- key." Stewart has been told by Emmys and ratings that he has something no one else has. Now, the book and the resultant cachet have handed him the mantle of modern truth-teller. Here's hoping that he treats it well. The "Guide" is a thick tome of 730 pages (not including the index and glossary of sexual terms), with an easy-to-read typeset and a wealth of graph- ic, well-drawn illustrations for visual learners. No topic is taboo and all subjects are discussed in- depth. From basic human anatomy and romance tips to the exploration of lesser-known sexual territory, Joannides expertly crafts a humorous manual that entertains while it teaches. Besides the basics of sexual intercourse, Joan- nides also goes into social commentary about the state of sexual affairs today. His discussion of Barbie as a sexual icon, for example, includes various viewpoints from experts as well as lay- men to offer a broad spectrum. Letters from readers and fans, asking questions and telling stories about sex, provide anecdotal relief. The "Guide" is witty, satirical and above all readable. With chapter titles like "Men's Under- wear - The Fruit in Your Loom," Joannides maintains humor with incredible ease, which lightens the weighty topic under discussion. He also provides the readers with many laugh-out- loud moments that make the book all the more enjoyable. Besides its bold discussion of what usually goes on behind closed doors, the "Guide" also cautions responsibility and safety. Its graph- ic nature does not sacrifice plain, good common sense when it comes to the sexual act itself. Aside from aid for those floundering in deep sexual waters, Joannides also takes on that most dreaded of all conversations in "Chapter 51: Explaining Sex to Kids." He advocates open acknowledgement of sex when it comes to chil- dren, which he concludes will help you raise "... children to think about their sexuality in ways that are constructive, rather than raising kids who are mindless about sex ..." Tips like these offer a more mature approach towards sex that other guides do not provide. Cyber-sex, threesomes, foreplay and self- gratification -- it's all here. Joannides has cre- ated a book for the average Joe that will help him become, well, more than average. For those who have wondered whether they're doing it right or who have wished that they were more adept, the "Guide to Getting It On" is highly recommend- ed. And if you're just a regular person looking for something to read that is witty, educational and brimming with scandalous fun, that's OK too. 0 mi