Monday November 7, 2005 arts. michigandaily. com artseditor@michigandaily.com R TeSlitligan tilg 5A ' Hollywood Ever After courtey of ucntJ otn e "If you look close enough, you can see where I left my dignity. It's somewhere around 'Cheaper by the Dozen.' " TAINTED LOVE DANES AND MARTIN SHINE IN STELLAR ADAPTATION very young girl knew she'd end up dating the captain of the football team. We sighed and giggled. We had board games dedi- cated to the perfect outfit. At six, we wanted to be astronauts and pop stars. Adolescence was hard as we learned to accept that our dreams were on a dead connection to reality. A sick part of our psyche must have stowed away the narrative fantasy, because we still dream: the 180 LSAT and cute frat boy who calls. Urban legends, right? Still, there's something per- vasive about hope. Who's to blame for that? Well, parents, friends and ourselves. But the media AMA doesn't get off easy on this AND one. Hollywood has taught us that being a princess with a pencil-thin waist should be a girl's ultimate goal. Even if you've gotten over the Cinderella complex (and by age 18, I'd certainly hope so), the idea persists that marriage and a family are integral parts of life. That's because affluent American women today are promised everything. It's possible, they say, to have a functional domestic life and a high-powered job with extra time to vacation in Aruba and your Tuscan villa. "Saved by the Bell" may have taught us that high school is a wacky dating game, but the entire media culture has pushed us toward post-feminist perfection. Men may have gone from gods of the universe to convenient accessories, but don't believe for a minute that you can walk down the street without one. If you missed the memo, check out any romantic comedy. You're the beautiful, successful, mildly neurotic girl with won- derful friends and a fabulous apartment. Your life is great. It's not until you meet your soulmate - the ruggedly handsome cad (Matthew McConaughey, probably) who pines for you - that you realize how empty your life was before. Even "Sex and the City," after years of pushing female autonomy and sexual indepen- dence, chose the Disney wrap-up. A friend of mine recently embarked on a relationship with someone she'd known since her first day of college: the guy who'd been there through all the bad-news boys and breakups, who'd stal- [A;, wartly stood behind her through all the tough decisions and hopeless moments. And the first thing people say? Oh, I'm so glad you're in a healthy relationship, I'm glad you're happy? No. "Oooh, it's just like a movie." We don't believe it; we're too smart to honestly believe movies and the media are an acceptable mirror of real- ity. The rise of tabloid jour- nalism has helped: flickering shadows of dolled-up celebri- ties may live happily ever after - but real ones don't. In fact, brief celebrity mar- riage is one of our culture's fondest jokes. Take Brad & Jen. The golden couple comi- cally fused into the explo- NDA sively well-inked Brangelina RADE and, ahem, Vaughniston (Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, for those not up to date). It's far more entertaining than tragic. Witness the funniest fairy tale gone wrong in Britney Spears and Kevin Fed- erline. Just weeks after the birth of their little prince, the K-Fed is rumored to be busier partying than parenting. Britney's in a hormonal rage, and Kevin's reaction is to release an abysmal rap single. I've got the fairy tales burned into my cortex; I'm pretty sure the talentless prince never rode the fair maiden's coattails. So what happened to these purveyors of deceit that made them buy their own lies? Despite VHl's assertion that celeb- rities can shoot laser beams from their eyes, the probable truth is that they're human. They grew up in the same cul- ture, complete with the same drive to sum up life in a coherent storybook. We mock them, but we bought into it too. "Lies," we may whisper at rom-coms and insipid pop songs, but we hope we're wrong. Life would be easier as a movie - the witty banter, the token best friend, the endless mugs of gingerbread latte. But we're brilliant, and we know better. Twenty-first century women shouldn't cling to life goals that went out with feu- dalism. So we build new ones. We study for our LSATs, scour the Tuscan hills and wait by the phone for our football player. - Amanda wants to organize a Mall Madness slumber party. Join her by e-mailing aandrade@umich.edu. By Zach Borden Daily Arts Writer Steve Martin, that "wild and crazy guy" from SNL's heyday, truly has had one of the most eclectic careers in Hollywood. It's always interest- _ ing to see how Martin, who has Shopgirl dabbled in many artistic medi- ums, can jump from a big-studio At the Showcase comedy to a movie that's more and Quality 16 serious without much industry Touchstone backlash. Martin, who stars and wrote the screenplay based on his novella, returns to finer form in "Shopgirl." The film is a mature, percep- tive piece of work that should ring true for anyone who recognizes the complexities of relationships and that there are many grey zones one must wade through. Martin's story focuses on Mirabelle Butterfield (Claire Danes, "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines"), an artist who works behind the glove counter at Saks Fifth Avenue in Los Angeles. Broke and yearning to feel a connection, Mirabelle meets Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman, "Bewitched"), an aimless "stenciler" whom she dates briefly. But then the wealthy Ray Porter (Martin) spots her at work and invites her to dinner. The film chronicles the ups and downs of their courtship - one that seems doomed from its incep- tion; Mirabelle desires a tender, long-standing love, while Ray wants something casual. What makes "Shopgirl" admirable is that it explores relationships the way most movie romances won't: Its characters and situations are treated realis- tically. Martin understands that people tend to hold back in relationships and that even when certain emotional needs are defined, their interpretation can be an entirely different matter. "Shopgirl" could have been reduced into a showcase for a love triangle, but Martin knows better - it's several highly personal and intertwining character studies. Director Anand Tucker captures the tone of Martin's script with a somberness and attenuated symbolism, but at times the mood is somewhat magical. The movie is not without its flaws. Martin does several voice-over narrations, and though they're well written, they spell out too much of the movie for the audience. Also distracting is one of Mira- belle's more sexually active co-workers (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, "The Wedding Planner"); Martin may be making a point about one-sided relation- ships with her character, but her stereotypical pres- ence is pointless in the story. The movie's trio of performances are well cast. Danes is perfect, even though she doesn't really do much other than wallow and act pained. That's OK, though, because her frumpiness and occasional lumi- nous flash make her relatable and sympathetic. Martin, probably playing himself to a degree, is wonderfully subtle, showing that there's more to his character than he lets on. Schwartzman is also charming, but only in a goofy and immature manner. There are humorous moments in "Shopgirl," but the movie is essentially a drama that knows what love is about; that for all its joys and disappoint- ments, it's often a bittersweet experience that can come to an untimely end. For once, it's nice to see a screen romance that isn't overtaken by fluff and doesn't have a neat and tidy ending. Sky falls on Disney's CG animation By Imran Syed Daily Arts WriterX.O. Remember the days when Disney's animated films were really magi- cal? Perhaps you laughed at the quips in "Aladdin," were swept away by the grandeur and senti- ment of "The Lion King" or sang along with "Colors of the Chicken Little At Showcase and Quality 16 Disney Wind" in "Pocahontas" (OK, you real- ly shouldn't have done that last one). Those days seem lost; rarely has Disney of late been able to conjure animation near the level of the aforementioned favorites. Its latest attempt, "Chicken Little," is no exception. It was with "Toy Story" that the trou- ble began; while that was a strong, even groundbreaking film, it set an unfortunate precedent. Since the advent of computer- generated animation, too much attention is paid to creating technical marvels and too little to creating compelling storylines. Certainly there have been good CG films ("Finding Nemo,""Shrek"), but too often, such films have lacked a plot with even a hint of intelligence (see "Madagascar" or "Robots"). This is the problem with "Chicken Little," Disney's first attempt at CG animation without help from Pixar, the masters behind the magic achieved in Courtesy of Disney Who knew that a Coke bottle would make such a fetching backpack? "Toy Story" and "Finding Nemo." "Chicken Little" is loosely based on the fable of the chicken who thought the sky was falling; here, the chicken is a tiny ball of feathers voiced by Zach Braff ("Garden State"). But the movie goes off in ill-advised directions, employing tired themes involving alien invasions, mean classmates and, of course, the hero's plea of "Dad, you gotta believe me!" Though the pretty colors and cute characters keep audiences interested for a while, the lack of originality quickly brings on boredom. Aside from the tepid storyline, "Chick- en Little" suffers from a lack of all-star power that's the norm of even lackluster animated films. Even those that are pres- ent (Braff, Joan Cusack, Steve Zahn) turn in uninspired performances. What's more, the songs are drawn out and lack the significance, beauty or even catchiness of old-school Disney tunes. Even the anima- tion - despite all the talk about Disney's big debut into the world of CGI - lacks that sure-handed touch. Besides, back- grounds can only be amazing if they're the backdrop to a compelling plot and not the focal point of attention. It sometimes seems as if "Chicken Lit- tle" wants to be a laugh-out-loud spoof like "Shrek." Then you're dragged into deep family issues and personal insecu- rities of characters and think maybe it will be profound like "The Lion King." Then this abrupt transition happens about 20 times in the first half of the film and you realize it's going nowhere and wonder why you didn't see "Wallace and Gromit" instead. What will I find in a sales career at Lilly? AK We want to share with you why over 250 of Michigan graduates enjoy their work at Lilly. PLEASE JOIN USS*.s What: Who: When: Time: Where: Corporate Information Session Students Interested in Pharmaceutical Sales (all majors) Thursday, November 10, 2005 6:00-7:30 PM The Michigan League - Hussey Room (Food will be provided..) MM I I