4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, October 21, 2005 OPINION 7be JMirigunu fai1g JASON Z. PESICK Editor in Chief SUHAEL MOMIN SAM SINGER Editorial Page Editors AuSON Go Managing Editor EDITED AND MANAGED BY STUDENTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SINCE 1890 420 MAYNARD STREET ANN ARBOR, MI 48109 tothedaily@michigandaily.com NOTABLE QUOTABLE You allowed your fighters to be laid down facing west and burned. You are too scared to come down and retrieve the bodies. This just proves you are the lady boys we always believed you to be." - Translation of a taunt American forces in Afghanistan played over loudspeakers as part of a propaganda campaign using the charred corpses of Taliban fighters, as reported yesterday by nytimes.com. MICHELLE BIEN yLI> 71 h ESE DAYS, THURF ISM E1NOUGH THME To NMQ A HOTEL. FoR ONLY A ONE- T ltom:L FEE3, TRY OVR FOLDABLE TKAVEL - BE'DS Wl$AO___ LUXURYtBEDIFUN- S17z4: 5ED* C~oPLETE Willi 9A65EU$ E ; LIMTI EE FLAT 09 FITTED 5H*EET! -.--. . - ECONOMY SEC) ?,,G(c-yc(:) VIN~TAGE MAT RE6!~ rv.uo5 Bush & Dick Theatre Company ZACK DENFELD -BIT CRITIC 01 The great Amer- ican tragedy continues. As President George "(W)illy Loman" and his supporting cast stumble through what I can only assume will be a lame-duck second term - if not a series of cascad- ing impeachments - I am reminded of our American character: Business is our culture. We are a nation of salesman, hucksters and actors. We have an undying optimism in an impossible dream. And when that dream fails, we fall hard. We are amazing improvisers; just don't hand us a gun. Otherwise you get "Ready, Fire, Aim." I am more than ecstatic that the Bush & Dick Theatre Company will be booed off the stage soon enough, making way for a direc- tor more grounded in realism. Isn't it inter- esting that they will be exiting stage right? Even conservatives are getting sick of the bizarre and stilted mix of war story, fantasy and untempered religious revival. Bush's arrogance in appointing a total hack to the U.S. Supreme Court hasn't helped him with his core audiences either. Certainly the tension of our American drama has been kept high with a series of "mysterious" terror threats that then turn out to have no credibility. It is interesting that the highest moments of tension and fear grab the headlines while the techni- cal crew of DeLay, Libby and Cheney et al. were getting caught for their backstage indiscretions. Building fear through seem- ingly implausible plot devices grows old, especially when lives are really being rav- aged and unattended in the wake of natural disasters. Bush and Company were never very good with subtlety. It seems they want to orches- trate the action movie to end all action movies, with an almost pathological obses- sion with staging action sequences for their armored actors to perform in. The continu- ing staged scenes orchestrated by the admin- istration grow more pathetic by the day. "Mission Accomplished" and the toppling of Saddam's statue were eloquently staged, if totally insincere, portrayals of a neocon- servative fantasy world. But now that the scenes are starting to break down and the administration gets caught staging presumed impromptu teleconference interviews, one wonders if the administration shouldn't move to slice-of-life stories that prominently feature real citizens and not stand-ins. Perhaps they should make a documentary about land use management, global warming and environmental policy, as an impetus to protect and preserve wetlands that our coastal regions desperately need to absorb and slow storm water. Part of the problem is that the Bush & Dick Theater Company doesn't read reviews. It doesn't hurt to pander to the audience when things are looking glum. George, take your pick: " A humble but heroicized retreat scene, because it's the only option left for a mili- tary left hung out to dry? " A father-son conflict where you throw off the chains of your evangelical and neoconser- vative inner-circle and find your own voice? " Maybe a sob-filled scene where you realize your entire world is a lie, all of your friends are fakes and the only thing you can do is get on your knees, break the fourth wall and speak directly to the audience: "Citizens, I am lost, help me find my way!" Probably not, but the audience would eat it up. And I know that Bush is into traditional forms, but if incorporating a little media into the production (i.e. his staff bring- ing him video news compilations of the Katrina disaster) is what is needed to save this production from disaster, then so be it. With a media that essentially says what you want them to say anyway, what is the harm in leaving the stage and listening and watching a little? The media even let your Department of Education run propaganda to promote your EDUCATION policy. Now that is dramatic irony at its finest. Bush & Co. are on their way out, and it will be our duty to usher them off the stage with a series of impeachments, scathing indictments and any other form of political rotten tomato that can be thrown their way. But we have to start thinking about next season's lineup already. America: It is time to reinvent yourself once again. There is no need to relegate yourself to playing bit parts, but a little humility wouldn't hurt. As the elusive spot- light starts to move east towards China and south to Brazil, focus on perfecting the lit- tle things that will set you apart in the long run and improving the things that are your major weaknesses. Might I suggest some classes on environ- mental sustainability, media democracy and international diplomacy? Finally, how about reclaiming a good old dose of pragmatism and can-do that you are known for when your optimistic overreaching fails? Denfeld can be reached at zcd@umich.edu. 0 0~ Dress to impress It's tough being a multi-million dollar athlete Would the real Christians please stand up? JESSE SINGAL >TE M THE TIDE In an effort to appease corporate sponsors and broaden its appeal to spectators, the National Basketball Association announced a league-wide mandatory dress code. As of Nov. 1, play- ers will be required to dress in business- casual attire whenever they participate in team or league activities. No longer will players be able to wear do-rags, throw- back jerseys or the standard $30,000 diamond chain to post-game press con- ferences. Instead, they will have to dress like any other respectable American businessman and show up to work in a collared shirt and dress pants. It would not be the politically correct United States unless the race card were pulled; this debate is no disappointment. Within days of the announcement, the dress code was labeled racist by Indiana Pacers guard Stephen Jackson. Requiring business-casual attire for members repre- senting the league is hardly racist by any means. Three prominent white figures in the NBA - Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban - are notorious for wearing sweatpants and sleeveless T-shirts, but the dress code affects them in exactly the same way as black Americans who choose to wear do-rags and throwback jerseys. The attack on the dress code boils down to one pathetic truth: Multi-million dollar athletes are too damn lazy to put forward a respectable image to those who provide the capital to finance their ridiculous sal- aries. The NBA is a professional league aimed at improving its image from that of the ghetto lifestyle to something more professional and marketable - that's not racism, it's business. Ever since Michael Jordan left the league as a Chicago Bull in 1997, the NBA has been struggling to rebuild its image as a league of class, represented by those with class. As Washington Post columnist Michael Wilbon eloquently states: "From 1985 to 2000 or so, most NBA players were the best-dressed men on the planet. Earvin Johnson and Jordan looked so stylish and sophisticated every night that CEOs wanted to buy what they were selling." The incredible resurgence of the league was not solely created by the action on the court - much of the popularity arose from the stars represent- ing professionalism and taking heed to the art of presentation. Now, the NBA has completely lost the professional image and is suffering economically because of it. With $500,000 luxury boxes left empty and corporate sponsorships slowly dwindling, the NBA has realized, as Wil- bon states, "... that people don't want to pay $200 a night to see jail culture." What players like Jackson and Allen Iverson do not understand is the hip-hop industry and ticket sales are not what fund their salaries. Corporate sponsors and TV net- works that provide the capital to ensure the average NBA salary hovers around $4 million do. Hip-hop culture may have merged with the NBA a decade ago, but within the league, the fad is slowly dying, and it is in no way paying the bills. Abandon- ing what may have been successful and popular five years ago is not a racist prac- tice - it is a business decision aimed at improving.the league's image and pros- perity. Iverson and Jackson are not above the league; they are members of the NBA and must represent it accordingly. Other businessmen who make more money than NBA players and have to conform to certain rules dictated by their industry are not uttering screams of racism. If Jackson and Iverson are so incredibly distraught by losing the right to wear a gold chain, I have a fantastic resolution to the prob- lem: "AND-1 Mixtape" is hiring. It may be a small paycut, but you guys don't play for money - you play for the love of the game, right? Will Kerridge is an LSA junior and an member of the Daily's editorial board. He can be reached at willker@umich.edu. hen you go to the Christian Coalition's website and click on "Issues," the third item on the legislative agenda is "Making permanent President Bush's 2001 federal tax cuts." Concerned Women for America has, on its site, material speak- ing out against the Estate Tax (Excuse me, I meant "Death Tax."). It would appear that a lot of religious conservatives have eco- nomic agendas coinciding with Bush's. It's important not to over-generalize here, as there are certainly Christians who oppose Bush's economic policy, but there are also a number of large, well-funded groups, including the two mentioned above, that proclaim to be Christian and consistently argue against taxation at the same time. There's an argument to be made that this is an incoherent position. Bill McKibben, an author and scholar in residence at Middlebury College, recently wrote an excellent essay for Harper's in which he argued that a genuinely Christian viewpoint would lead one to adopt economic policies antithetical to the Republican agen- da. Jesus Christ, it turns out, felt a tremen- dous amount of compassion toward the poor. Of course, this is no surprise to anyone with a working knowledge of Christianity, but it is lost amid the din as Christianity is used over and over again by the Republicans as a gay-bashing weapon of judgment and divi- sion. Christ famously opined that it would be easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it would be for a rich man to get into heaven. It's quite hard to reconcile this with a program of tax cutting that primar- ily targets the rich and which will, in the inevitable bouts of belt-tightening that are to come, lead to cuts in programs that aid the poor. This disconnect doesn't just apply to eco- nomics. Many of the Christian groups that push the tax cuts are also staunchly pro-death penalty. Christ's take? "You have heard that it was said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.',But I say to you, Do not resist an evil- doer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also." How could any- one argue that Christ would approve the death penalty, given this clear refutation of the Old Testament passage that many religious con- servatives use to defend it? McKibben argues pretty convincingly that people are taking American ideals and trying to find them in Christian teachings. This is borne out by the fact that three out of four Americans believe that the sentence "God helps those who help themselves" is a Bible teaching (Actually, it's Ben Franklin.). Christ, if his words are any indication, wasn't about people helping them- selves; he was more interested in people help- ing each other. Republicans have for too long used reli- gious imagery to their political advantage while at the same time promoting an agenda that, by most reasonable standards, is decid- edly anti-Christian. Democrats tend to be very timid in the face of Republican talk- ing points, which often focus on messages that are of an only slightly veiled religious nature. If they are going to have any suc- cess in the 2006 midterm elections, Demo- crats need to begin actively pointing out the hypocrisies inherent in the Republican plat- form. They have a window, now, in the wake of Katrina, Tom DeLay's indictment and Bush's mind-exploding decision to appoint Harriet Miers to the U.S. Supreme Court, to give the American people - finally wary of the dominant GOP - another option. Will they? If history is any indication, no. They will, as usual, remain on the defensive and fail to respond to even the most ludicrous Republican arguments. But at least there is some hope in the growing dissension among conservatives. The Democrats have a real chance here if they are smart and organized enough to capitalize on it. Politics should be completely atheistic. There should be absolutely no faith involved in judging a candidate's track record or an incumbent's performance. Most democ- racies in the world do not require an out- spoken belief in God as a prerequisite for leadership positions. This reliance on reli- gion is incredibly harmful to the discourse, as arguments about who "really" speaks for God never end well (Just check the history books.). But in a country where millions and millions doubt evolution and most seem to think only a man of God is fit to run things, an important first step is to hold those who cling to the cross accountable. Republicans have for too long been allowed to toe the line, appealing both to fiscal conservatives (not that they are actually fiscally conserva- tive in any manner other than cutting taxes) and to religious conservatives. If any of their highbrow proclamations about morality and faith are actually about Jesus and not simply manipulative ploys to attract more voters, then they should realize how untenable their position is and explain themselves. Singal can be reached at jsingal@umich.edu. (0 LETTER TO THE EDITOR Militarism and waste are destroying America's future TO THE DAILY: and over again by the U.N. Security Council for racism and its illegal occupation of Pal- estine. Outraged - as they should be - that the most wasteful and gluttonous country in wantonly wasteful use of oil is poisoning our diminishing, breathable air and driving up fuel costs around the world. Former President Eisenhower said it "In Dissent" opinions do not reflect the views of the Daily's editorial board. They i I I