Friday September 16, 2005 arts. michigandaily.com artspage@michigandaily.com bRpp~Ir S U 8 . .. ........ AT LEAST IT'S NOT THE GRAMMYS ARTS EDITORS DEBATE THIS YEAR'S EMMY NOMINEES I Even though no one asked for it - but no one complained - Daily Arts edi- ors Punit Mattoo and Adam Rottenberg return to debate this weekend's gala awards show: the Emmys. This imagination-free pro- duction consistently rewards shows past their creative prime and ignores the few bright spots that might appear on the television landscape. But maybe this year will be different, and newer stars like "Entourage's" power-hungry agent Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) or imbecilic patriarch George Bluth (Jeffrey Tambor) on "Arrested Development" will receive accolades, rather than safe standbys like the cast members of "Will & Grace" or "The West Wing." Best Comedy Series "Arrested Development" (Fox) "Desperate Housewives" (ABC) "Everybody Loves Raymond" (CBS) "Scrubs" (NBC) "Will & Grace" (NBC) Punit Mattoo: First of all, how is "Desperate Housewives" a comedy, let alone one of the best on TV? I can't remember ever laughing dur- ing that show except for every time I saw Teri Hatcher's face - all that plastic surgery kind of weirds me out. Give the award to the funniest sitcom in recent memory, "Arrested Develop- ment." With the best ensemble cast on televi- sion, the show blows away "Everybody Loves Raymond" (which my grandmother loves; not a good sign), one-joke hit "Will & Grace" and the winner for trying way too hard to be quirky, "Scrubs." Adam Rottenberg: You're right about "Des- perate Housewives," but the problem is that Emmy voters are too stupid to realize that and are going to hand the comedy award to a DRAMA. Even "Ally McBeal" had a better case to be considered a comedy. "Raymond" has that whole last season thing going for it, too, and I, like your grandma, find the show really entertaining. "Arrested" is the funniest show on TV, but it pulled off its fluke win last year. As for the last two, "Scrubs" is nomi- so far before the show that she was doing Radio Frances Conroy - "Six Feet Under" nated two years too late and "Will & Grace" Shack commercials with Howie Long. Jennifer Gamer - "Alias" (ABC) hasn't come close to being funny or relevant Mariska Hargitay - "Law & Order: Special Victims in years. Lead Actor in a Comedy Series Jason Bateman - "Arrested Development" Zach Braff - "Scrubs" Eric McCormack - "Will & Grace" Ray Romano - "Everybody Loves Raymond" Tony Shalhoub - "Monk" (USA) PM: In any other situation, an obsessive com- pulsive detective would get annoying really fast, but Tony Shalhoub's performance on "Monk" makes the idea surprisingly funny. The other nominees aren't even the best characters on their respective shows: Ray Romano is boring, Eric McCormack isn't outlandish like his castmates, Zach Braff is whiny and Jason Bateman isn't crazy enough. I like my leading characters slightly off-kilter and that's why Tony Shalhoub should win again. AR: I think you said it all. Shalhoub is the best of the bunch, but I wouldn't be surprised to see Ray walk away with a trophy for his last season. Lead Actress in a Comedy Series Marcia Cross - "Desperate Housewives" Teri Hatcher - "Desperate Housewives" Patricia Heaton - "Everybody Loves Raymond" Felic- ity Huffman - "Desperate Housewives" Jane Kaczmarek - "Malcolm in the Middle" (Fox) AR: How did Jane Kaczmarek get nominated? Didn't "Malcolm in the Middle" jump the shark like four seasons ago? Is it even still on the air? Please, answer me. Maybe Emmy voters will be wise enough to bestow the honor once again to Heaton for her final season as Debra Barone, but that's highly unlikely. Then there's the whole "Desperate Housewives" crew. We've already made it abundantly clear that the show is NOT a comedy. Nevertheless, Teri Hatcher will win the award over her more deserving castmates (espe- cially Huffman) because her career had fallen PM: Jane Kaczmarek's nomination only helps confirm my suspicion that Emmy voters don't actually watch older shows any more and just keep nominating whoever's made it past their fourth season. And is going from "Lois and Clark" to Radio Shack ads really that big of a fall for Hatcher? Either way, as much as I hate to admit it, Hatcher did provide the majority of "laughs" on "Housewives," and she'll likely win. Best Drama Series "24" (Fox) "Deadwood" (HBO) "Lost" (ABC) "Six Feet Under" (HBO) "The West Wing" (NBC) AR: Last year's winner, "The Sopranos," is notably absent - that's what happens when you don't air new episodes for more than a year. This year, there's no clear favorite. "Lost" is the best of the bunch and its innovation should be rewarded. But if "24" or "Deadwood" win, it wouldn't be a bad thing at all. Emmy voters are notoriously lazy and will probably reward the undeserving, morose and all-in-all boring "Six Feet Under." The smug, self-righteous series will go out with one more Emmy win. As long as it's not "The West Wing"... PM: I don't see why you don't think "Lost" is the favorite. It's one of the few shows to actually accumulate critical praise as well as viewers, while pretty much everyone agreed that "Six Feet Under" lived up to its name, getting buried under negative reviews all year. You're right about "The West Wing," though. The show hasn't been the same ever since my favorite 'shroom enthusiast, Aaron Sorkin, stopped writing. Lead Actress in a Drama Series Patrica Arquette - "Medium" (NBC) Glenn Close - "The Shield" (FX) Unit" (NBC) PM: Honestly, this one's too easy. A bunch of nobodies and the former wife of Nicholas "I married my 19-year-old waitress" Cage versus one of the best film actresses of our time? The only thing stopping from Glenn Close from winning the award she so richly deserves for her amazing stint on "The Shield" is some sort of voter influence by the 300 million "Law & Order" fans. And judging by some people's obsession with that show, I wouldn't put it past them. AR: Can I just get it in here that I hate "Six Feet Under?" Now that that's off my chest, Close is the obvious choice. She stole every scene she was in on "The Shield," which is no easy feat. It's a shame about Jennifer Garner, though; this was her last chance to win the award before her show gets cancelled after this season because of ABC's boneheaded scheduling. Best Lead Actor in a Drama Series Hank Azaria - "Huff" (Showtime) James Spader - "Boston Legal" (ABC) Hugh Laurie - "House" (Fox) Kiefer Sutherland - "24" Ian McShane - "Deadwood" AR: What a weird crop of actors. Hank Azaria gets nominated for a show no one has watched or liked. James Spader, last year's winner, simply chews the scenery for 44 minutes every week on "Boston Legal:" If the award were for the most utterances of the word "cocksucker," McShane would have it locked down. His acer- bic tongue may end up swaying Emmy voters, but not me. The real race should be between Fox's two representatives, with the edge going to Kiefer Sutherland's gritty super agent Jack Bauer - he can't be stopped. PM: I honestly hadn't heard of "Huff" until the nominations came out, and because of mis- guided logic, I'm going to assume it's because it's a horrible show that was never worth watching anyway. As a result, you gotta ask how the hell enough people voted for him. As far as McShane goes, he might actually have some competition for the "cocksucker" utter- ance award from one of those HBO series that air late Saturday nights, but I don't see any of those shows being nominated for Emmys in the near future. With an edge unseen on any other dramas, I'm going with the upset special of McShane winning. Reality/Competition Program "The Amazing Race" (CBS) "American Idol" (Fox) "The Apprentice" (NBC) "Project Runway" (Bravo) "Survivor" (CBS) AR: There's no sense in talking about "Project Runway"; it has no chance. So let's focus on the real competition. "The Apprentice" looks about as good as the Donald's hairpiece. Sorry, too easy. "Survivor" could win, but it may be voted off the Emmy island. Fox's juggernaut of a karaoke night may swoop in and steal away some votes, but Simon shouldn't start walking up to the podium in his tight black T just yet. On Emmy night, this year's winner, "The Amazing Race," will likely run away with the award. Too many puns? PM: Not enough puns, Adam, not enough. How about saying that "The Amazing Race" will be waiting for the others at the finish line? Or "American Idol" won't hit the right note with voters? Ooh, how about "Project Runway" is no longer in style? - Join in on the Emmyfun by watching the show live this Sunday night at 8:00 on CBS. Look to see if these two idiots know what they're talking about. If you don't e-mail them, they will assume that you actually enjoyed reading this. 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