0 U. a -w -*-- ----w Lovers and friends? Between the Sheets / The Sex Column By Brooke Snyder SHOPEATDRI NK Cafe Za's serves up variety East University's newest addition proves itself By Niamh Slevin / Daily Staff Writer 'm sure every man has heard it at least once. It's the age-old excuse used by owomen everywhere to softly let down the not-quite-up-to-their-standards man when he tries to make a move. To such unwanted advances, women far and wide panic and respond, "I just don't want to ruin our friend- ship." It's a seemingly genuine excuse that suf- fices to get us out of sticky situations - and it usually works without much of a rebuttal. How- ever, can having sex honestly ruin the friendship between a woman and a man? Can anyone suc- cessfully be lovers and friends? It's amazing to me that some people still buy into such a cliche sex refusal. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a quick, secret rendezvous on the countertop at a party, club or friend's house with no requisite commitment? Friends with benefits are an integral part of college life nationwide, and a notoriously great meth- od for stress relief - does sex in the Grad during finals study break sound familiar to anyone? Nonetheless, I too am by no means innocent of lying through my teeth, manipu- lating the "ruin our friendship" excuse and using it to my advantage. Then one incident involving my friend, "Bianca," abruptly altered my opinions on being lovers and friends. Over the course of one year, sexual tensions between her and a boy named "Myron" exponentially built until the crowning moment when they finally did it. Even though the sex was disappointing, she was positive that it was the long-awaited commencement of something more than just a friendship. That is, until the following week when Myron blatantly tried to seduce her best friend. With complete disregard for their friendship, he clearly considered their sex to be a personal conquest, like that of a lion who successfully killed and ate the best antelope on his terrain. Bianca vowed never to talk to him again, and true to the overused excuse, their happy friendship was forever ruined because of sex. Bianca and Myron's falling out perfectly (and sadly) illustrates what many of my boy friends have been telling me since high school: guys only befriend girls thinking they will one day have sex. Oddly enough, this is also a modern philosophy used to explain sex relationships between men and women, known as the Lad- der Theory. According to the Ladder Theory, men have one "ladder" upon which they rank all the girls in their lives. The girls on the top of the ladder are the perfect tens, usually out of the guy's league. Going down the ladder, one will pass the girls they like, followed by the girls they would do while drunk and admit to doing, and finally those poor girls at the bottom that a guy would do while drunk but never tell a soul. The interesting part of this theory is that women have two ladders to work with: one for the men that are just their friends (including their "cuddle bitches" who get all the emotional attention, but none of the physical kind), and one for prospective sex partners. Guys, therefore, are constantly at competition with one another, fighting to get to the top of the sex ladder, or even trying to jump from the friends-only lad- der to the sex ladder. So, was the Bianca and Myron catastrophe another case for the Ladder Theory, or was it a simple case of bad sex? I'd like to believe that it was both. The sex, admittedly, was bad (the position was missionary, Myron experi- enced a couple of rabbit-like moments, and the rhythm switched cycles as abruptly as a wash- ing machine), but there also was the problem of a boy jumping from the cuddle bitch to the top of the sex ladder. When the motivations for having sex are so incongruous, taking the step toward lovers and friends is more like speeding down a one-way street to confusion and disap- pointment. Switching ladders, or becoming lovers and friends, often crashes the two worlds of a man's libido and a woman's emotions into each other. The only way to avoid a relation- ship (and sex) disaster is for both parties to be completely sincere with their intentions toward each other. Gentlemen, if you just want a fuck buddy, tell the girl. Ladies, if you are looking for a relationship, be honest. If you are not physically attracted to the other person, please don't spare his or her ego, instead tell the truth! Follow these simple guidelines, and never again will anyone ever have to suffer through the lame and overused excuse, "I just don't want to ruin our friend- ship," because nine times out of 10 it is a clear and conspicuous lie. And in closing, guys please, please, please avoid the temptation to slip into rabbit mode while in the heat of the moment, because the girl will tell her friends, and you could run the risk of ruining your own sex life for ever. Brooke hopes she's not on the bottom rung of any of her guy friend's ladders. She can be reached at basnyder@umich.edu. The rise and fall of Mac gaming Apple - C, Apple - V I The Tech Column By Forest Casey o some, it's a comfortable scenic seat after a long day of work. To others, it's a nui- sance and a road block in a typically high-traffic zone. To Cafd Za's, the newest addition to the East Univer- sity restaurant district, it's just part and parcel of the cafe's convivial, European-style atmosphere. Stretching across the entire storefront, Za's sidewalk seating area has undoubtedly succeeded in garner- By far, ing attention around enjoys campus. Like its out- -eit door addendum, Za's is inviting and pleas- ant for a quick meal, but it's not always quite what the average student anticipates. Inside the restaurant, the patron experiences its low-key, relaxed style firsthand. The walls are plain, yet tastefully decorated. The light- ing is dim, offering enough light to eat comfortably and chat with friends without that glaring high school-cafeteria feel. Perhaps most notable, however, is the sound. Though its expanse of tables has yet to be completely filled, conver- sations from surrounding patrons rarely infiltrate other booths, mak- ing the cafe ideal for casual meet- ings or cheap dates. Through the speakers, the staff has chosen the soothing sound of Yo La Tengo or a compilation of classic jazz singers as suitable background music. Unlike many campus cafes, Za's does not offer one single SHOPEATDRINK EXPLORES THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN ANN ARBOR ESTABLISHMENTS. RESTAURANTS ARE REVIEWED AND STORES ARE PROFILED TO INFORM READERS ABOUT NEW OR UNIQUE LOCAL BUSINESSES. set of entrees on their menu. Although it does have signature specials, it also presents custom- ers with the opportunity to build their own salad, sandwich, pasta dish or pizza with far more eclec- tic ingredients than your average Jimmy John's or Subway. By far, the best bet for a con- sistently enjoyable lunch or din- ner experience is either the salad the best bet for a consiste able lunch or dinner experie .er the salad or the open-fa panini. or the open-faced panini. The salads, which are typically large enough for two meals, are made fresh as each new order comes in - and usually in less time than it takes to fill the drinks. From the counter, the customer can even watch as the staff skill- fully hand-tosses the ingredients in a mixing bowl to perfectly distribute the dressing before presenting it to the guest. The paninis prove equally enticing,+ with options ranging from a clas- sic chicken parmesan to the more1 elaborate vegetarian choices such as the Mambo Italiano, with arti-1 chokes, mushrooms, red peppers, spinach and Swiss and gouda cheese. For an Italian-style cafe, Za's consistently falls short on its more ethnic dishes. The traditional pizza and pasta taste more like a can of Hunt's Tomato Sauce, removed of all additional flavoring and spices and topped off with some partially melted cheese product. However, the customizable additions, such as apple slices, walnuts or artichokes, can perk up the meal's original blandness, and the wide variety available proves redeemable for even the less appetizing menu options. If the main dish isn't ntly satisfying enough, Za's nce also boasts a rather large, iced rather indulgent dessert selection. The alluring glass case greets cus- tomers with visions' of tiramisus and mile-high chocolate cakes even before the staff does. The cafe has discovered a new claim to fame in the area: its piece de resistance on the menu is its assortment of Cheesecake Fac- tory cheesecakes, which, though slightly smaller than the chain's own variety, can be purchased for only a fraction of the price. While Za's may not be as gour- met as its logo likes to claim, it is certainly a welcome new member of the campus chain club. With the speed of a Jimmy John's and the variety of Amer's, the cafe has proven itself well worth its $5 fixes. Cafe Za's Where: 615 E. University Hours: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m. daily Cafe Za's offers create-your-own di: One night last year, I bundled up and walked to Mary Markley and climbed the stairs down to the South Pit. Some friends of mine were hosting a study break for gam- e's along with ResComp Residence Hall and I decided to make an appearance. The entire experience just seemed other- worldly to me. Firstly, I wasn't doing much studying at the time, so the event wasn't really a "study break" for me, it was just more like "Tuesday night." On a surreal note, tables and tables of gleaming, white iMacs crowded the pit, and people were actually using them for gaming. In the years after Apple founder Steve Jobs' removal from the company, the Mac platform suffered the same slow defeat as a leader in exile. When I told my high school friends that I was getting a Mac four years ago, I was told time and again that Apple computers were "pieces of shit," unless, of course, I was using it for graphics or video editing. I always took that opportunity to lie. Of course I would be creat- ing intricate 3-D models on a computer that takes as long to open Photoshop as it does for Lynyrd Skynyrd to get to the solo in "Freebird." Unfortunately, yelling doesn't make either one go faster. When the first true Apple computer was released, it came with not one but two joysticks to play games. The Apple II monitors supported tens of times more colors than their PC counter- parts.' Here was the birthplace of Lord Britton's "Ultima" series; here was the platform of choice for the epic "Wolfenstein 3-D;" here was the birthplace of consumer computer gaming. Apple's early success did not deter IBM, which was cloned to form Compaq, HP and a host of others until today's PC of choice, Dell. With no clones, Mac game developers couldn't sell nearly as many games as their PC counter- parts, and the entire field of Mac gaming began to crumble. At least, that is, until 1999. Steve Jobs returned to the helm, salvaging Apple with the most successful computer of all time, the iMac. For the Mac faithful, Jobs' second coming was akin to Jesus's almost 2000 years before. People suddenly had a reason to trash their PCs and go Mac. All that was needed was a game. It came in the form of "Halo," a first-person shooter by a longtime Mac developer, Bungie. The divine implications of its name were not to be overlooked; Halo would single-handedly save Mac gaming. Watching videos of the 1999 Macworld con- ference that showcases early builds of "Halo" is like the day after an all-night drunken thrash- ing for the Mac faithful. You've got the hopeless confusion over what went wrong the previous night and the guilt and shame over loving some- one who is now in bed with someone else. For the uneducated: "Halo" was supposed to be a breakthrough Mac game set to redefine an entire gaming genre. Not only was the game going to be released for the Mac, Bungie was going to release it first for the Mac. Steve Jobs was obviously enjoying his new title of CEO, beaming as the demo for "Halo" played on the large projection screens. This game would become the reason to buy a Mac. It was a com- bination of an intense shock to Mac gaming, which had been in cardiac arrest for twenty years, and to the Mac platform as a whole. And then this last hope, much like the origi- nal Apple II, started to slip away. Apple nem- esis Microsoft invaded Bungie with offers of a buyout. Microsoft needed a killer application to sell their new XBox gaming console, and "Halo" fit the bill perfectly. After the buyout, "Halo" was going to be released simultane- ously for the Mac, PC and XBox, then for the XBox and the Mac (after some delay), then just the XBox. For Apple devotees, the theft of this last great hope for Mac gaming was just another in a series of stinging blows from the giant hand of Microsoft. Maybe Mac gaming just wasn't meant to evolve past a certain point. Some of my finest memories of fifth grade come from the screens of an Apple II, ancient even then. When it was raining outside, our class was kept in the Math- Science room. We gravitated to the two Apple II monitors and planned our trips to Oregon. The opening screens, which invited us to give names to our family members, would be furi- ously skipped - anything to get out on the trail and start hunting. People who would never play video games today can still remember the hunt - how fast the squirrels were and how little meat (two pounds, at most) they offered - and, especially, how the small crosshairs would wait patiently in the center of the screen for a bison to slowly lumber across the open middle. Not once did we make it to Oregon. Malaria would kill my family or the recess bell would ring, but damned if we weren't well-fed. Forest still plays Breakout on his old Apple II computer. Let him know your high score. He can be reached atfcasey@umich.edu. a m www.AnnArborStudentExchange.com Debate Wolverines sports, sell your car, join a soccer team, promote a campus event, find a roommate, sell used textbooks, discuss campus nightlife, sublet your apartment, find a weekend job, promote your student organization, sell your old stereo A free web service for the U-M student community Ann Arbor Exchange www.AnnArborStudentExchange.com _________T 13 -The-Michigan Daily- Thursday, September 15, 2005 The Michigan Daily- I